Latest news from the land of smiles

[Luma]

Bangkok gem traders ripped off in tourist dud-cheque scam. * Tuk tuk seen driving on road. * US college girl traveller heard to exclaim, “ OH MY GOD!” * Drug cop reprimanded for talk first, shoot later policy. * Bangkok landlord accidentally burns down whole rent controlled city block. * 5% of budget travellers have no idea. * Pickup-truck collides with tree. 47 members of the same family injured. * Tired and emotional gap year girl seen at Full Moon Party. * World rallychamp Marcus Groenholm overtaken by tourist minibus on timed section of Chiang Rai Rally. * Anopholes mosquitoes decimated by alcoholic poisoning - researchers blame plague of Irish boozers. * 8% of expats have no idea. * Songthaew driver seen to give change. * Khao Sok Park rangers ban Irish passport holders after intoxicated leeches wreck Jungle Lodge bar. * Patong jetski rider injured by recklessly thrown beachball. * Californian skateboarder sets world record 342 kph down mountain pass on northern Samui - still doing 230+ at end of Bo Phut pier. * Government urges Thai businessmen to emulate western counterparts. * Experts at a loss to explain spike in purchases of German prestige cars, golf course condos and offshore tax minimisation schemes. * Tired and emotional gap year girl whines, “No one understands me.” * Company making radically quiet longtail motors files for bankruptcy. * Coastguard winds down search for missing skateboarder off southern Ko Phangan. * Buttock flashing Aussie surfer tells police after arrest at Full Moon Party, “I don’t get it.” * 25% of package tourists have no idea. * Experts attribute 2% fall in road toll to 20% rise in size of traffic offence bribes. * Police announce new 25% target for reduction in road toll. * Gallic tourists manage to transfer baggage from pier to Ko Whai ferry in under 3 hours. * 30% of sex tourists have no idea. * Cobra on life support after biting Irish tourist. * Tuk tuk makes direct railway station to KSR trip. * Buttock flashing Kylie Minogue clone at FMP bribed by Thai police for repeat performance. * Freeway and tunnel into Railey announced. * Park rangers find skateboarder shaped void punched through treetops on highest Ko Phangan Peak. Search shifts to Ko Tao. * 50% of this forum’s feminazis have no idea. * Overloaded songthaew sets world wheelstanding record. * Shameless farang bare-flesh display on Samui shocks Thai domestic holiday makers. * Hua Hin chamber of commerce can’t explain loss of local tourists to southern Gulf islands. * Smart rabid dog doesn’t bite Irishman. * Government law and order consultant unmasked as Nuremberg Trials escapee and former Pinochet security chief. * Self proclaimed internet Thai culture expert spends all holiday in Nana Plaza bar. * Bizarre identity mix-up sees paparazzi and royal watchers stake out Fergy’s Cha Am Gazebo and Grill. * New 130kph defacto speed limit for tourist minibuses will only be enforced in urban areas. * Government spokesperson justifies replacement of ministerial BMWs with more expensive Mercedes as an economy initiative: lower depreciation. * Air France flight hits minor turbulence near Phuket. Passengers don’t panic. * 70% of this forum’s environazis have no idea. * Local budget airline hits minor turbulence after Phuket landing. Control tower directs pilot off freeway into airport. * NurburgRing style race circuit planned for Ko Samet. * Brighton bootscooters slam music choice at island all night dance party. * Research shows 10% of expats are sometimes sober. * Vivacious and beautiful female traveller calls shy, unattractive sex tourist loser a loser. * No chance of ‘98 financial crisis repeat, claims government. * Thai central banker perplexed: “Profligate lending? Capital adequacy ratio? The credit multiplier? Please explain?” * British males agree best part of Thai travel is ease of access to Premier League replays. * 5000 berth marina and cruise liner terminal announced for Ko Poda. * Research indicates football fans sulk for an average 3 days when replays show their side losing. * Disproportionately high numbers of very pretty Thai females on Hat Yai to Singapore buses attributed to insatiable demand for secretarial services. * Stall holders treated for shock after Israeli bargain hunters visit Chang Mai night market. * 80% of this forum’s culture experts have no idea. * 25 backpackers crushed in rush for discount dreadlocks. * New Zealand, Australian and Thai authorities sign new 6 month visa-free agreement. * Isan farmers begin moving nervous sheep to Laos. * Pedantic Swiss tourist saves second half of duty free booze for second half of trip. * Bob Marley fans riot after “Hotel California” announced top tune by KSR bar owners. * Grinning and exhausted young Brit says, “She was really a guy? Blimey!” * Defence spokesperson “mystified” when questioned about army purchase of logging trucks. * Katoey association announces end to backdoor discounts. * Holidaying Wall St commodity trader moans about spike in KPG accommodation prices around Full Moon Party time. * 35 year old traveller clams: “Phi Phi is way better now.” * International airport planned for Ko Nangyuan. * Tired and emotional gap year girl whines, “Send more money.” * Strange kilometre long skidmarks through front door of Cha Am bar and grill lead police to missing skateboarder undergoing post-flight debriefing with go go dancers in mud-wrestling pit. * 100% of this forum’s weather nerd has no idea

[markt]

Is that it?

[Bud Zumwalt]

???

To Luma,

I read all your jokes, but this quote,  "Self proclaimed internet Thai culture expert spends all holiday in Nana Plaza bar. " That really hit home. You hurt my feelings. I never go to Nana Plaza for my entire holiday, I split it up between Cowboy and Nana. Your remarks above show you have a great understanding of all issues. So, go over to my post on email proposals [post .. again and get up to date. I really need your advice. I look forward to some replies, but keep em short.

Bud

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Wasn't soi dog bites man in that list ?                

[Mackerel]

I look forward to some replies, but keep em short.

Bud

Do as I say, not as I do  

[kayo]

<font color='#000000'>

Bangkok gem traders ripped off in tourist dud-cheque scam. * Tuk tuk seen driving on road. * US college girl traveller heard to exclaim, “ OH MY BUDDHA! accidentally burns down whole rent controlled city block. * 50% of budget travellers have no idea. * Pickup-truck collides with tree. 47 members of the same family injured.   * Tired and emotional gap year girl seen at Full Moon Party. * World rallychamp Marcus Groenholm overtaken by tourist minibus on timed section of Chiang Rai Rally. * Anopholes mosquitoes decimated by alcoholic poisoning - researchers blame plague of Irish boozers. * 18% of expats have no idea. * Songthaew driver seen to give change.  * Khao Sok Park rangers ban Irish passport holders after intoxicated leeches wreck Jungle Lodge bar. * Patong jetski rider injured by recklessly thrown beachball. * Californian skateboarder sets world record 342 kph down mountain pass on northern Samui - still doing 230+ at end of Bo Phut pier. * Government urges Thai businessmen to emulate western counterparts. * Experts at a loss to explain spike in purchases of German prestige cars, golf course condos and offshore tax minimisation schemes. * Tired and emotional gap year girl whines, “No one understands me.” * Company making radically quiet longtail motors files for bankruptcy. * Coastguard winds down search for missing skateboarder off southern Ko Phangan. * Buttock flashing Aussie surfer tells police after arrest at Full Moon Party, “I don’t get it.” * 25% of package tourists have no idea. * Experts attribute 2% fall in road toll to 20% rise in size of traffic offence bribes. * Police announce new 25% target for reduction in road toll. * Gallic tourists manage to transfer baggage from pier to Ko Whai ferry in under 3 hours. * 30% of sex tourists have no idea. * Cobra on life support after biting Irish tourist. * Tuk tuk makes direct railway station to KSR trip. * Buttock flashing Kylie Minogue clone at FMP bribed by Thai police for repeat performance. * Freeway and tunnel into Railey announced. * Park rangers find skateboarder shaped void punched through treetops on highest Ko Phangan Peak. Search shifts to Ko Tao. * 50% of this forum’s feminazis have no idea. * Overloaded songthaew sets world wheelstanding record. * Shameless farang bare-flesh display on Samui shocks Thai domestic holiday makers. * Hua Hin chamber of commerce can’t explain loss of local tourists to southern Gulf islands. * Smart rabid dog doesn’t bite Irishman. * Government law and order consultant unmasked as Nuremberg Trials escapee and former Pinochet security chief. * Self proclaimed internet Thai culture expert spends all holiday in Nana Plaza bar. * Bizarre identity mix-up sees paparazzi and royal watchers stake out Fergy’s Cha Am Gazebo and Grill. * New 130kph defacto speed limit for tourist minibuses will only be enforced in urban areas. * Government spokesperson justifies replacement of ministerial BMWs with more expensive Mercedes as an economy initiative: lower depreciation. * Air France flight hits minor turbulence near Phuket. Passengers don’t panic. * 70% of this forum’s environazis have no idea. * Local budget airline hits minor turbulence after Phuket landing. Control tower directs pilot off freeway into airport. * NurburgRing style race circuit planned for Ko Samet. * Brighton bootscooters slam music choice at island all night dance party. * Research shows 10% of expats are sometimes sober. * Vivacious and beautiful female traveller calls shy, unattractive sex tourist loser a loser. * No chance of ‘98 financial crisis repeat, claims government. * Thai central banker perplexed: “Profligate lending? Capital adequacy ratio? The credit multiplier? Please explain?” * British males agree best part of Thai travel is ease of access to Premier League replays. * 5000 berth marina and cruise liner terminal announced for Ko Poda. * Research indicates football fans sulk for an average 3 days when replays show their side losing. * Disproportionately high numbers of very pretty Thai females on Hat Yai to Singapore buses attributed to insatiable demand for secretarial services. * Stall holders treated for shock after Israeli bargain hunters visit Chang Mai night market. * 80% of this forum’s culture experts have no idea. * 25 backpackers crushed in rush for discount dreadlocks. * New Zealand, Australian and Thai authorities sign new 6 month visa-free agreement. * Isan farmers begin moving nervous sheep to Laos. * Pedantic Swiss tourist saves second half of duty free booze for second half of trip. * Bob Marley fans riot after “Hotel California” announced top tune by KSR bar owners. * Grinning and exhausted young Brit says, “She was really a guy? Blimey!” * Defence spokesperson “mystified” when questioned about army purchase of logging trucks. * Katoey association announces end to backdoor discounts. * Holidaying Wall St commodity trader moans about spike in KPG accommodation prices around Full Moon Party time. * 35 year old traveller clams: “Phi Phi is way better now.” * International airport planned for Ko Nangyuan. * Tired and emotional gap year girl whines, “Send more money.” * Strange kilometre long skidmarks through front door of Cha Am bar and grill lead police to missing skateboarder undergoing post-flight debriefing with go go dancers in mud-wrestling pit. * 100% of this forum’s weather nerd has no idea</font>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Had to revise this two year old thread... ANybody think much has changed?

[lampard10]

<font color='#000000'>Wasn't soi dog bites man in that list ?                 </font>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't you mean ' Man bites Soi dog'

[daleyboy]

<font color='#000000'>Wasn't soi dog bites man in that list ?                 </font>

Don't you mean ' Man bites Soi dog'

Also have to watch out for soi dogs peeing on you.

[DJ Pat]

And the point of all that is??????

[Boon Mee]

And the point of all that is??????

The point is kayo dredged up an ancient thread.

When I saw Bud Zumwalt's name what clued me. Now there was a legendary poster in the annals of TV!

[chonabot]

And the point of all that is??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The point is kayo dredged up an ancient thread.

When I saw Bud Zumwalt's name what clued me. Now there was a legendary poster in the annals of TV!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Also my old mate Markt , don't see much of him anymore .

[Totster]

Also have to watch out for soi dogs peeing on you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope... sorry... can't say they've ever peed on me...!

totster

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Are you lot that short on topics ? Ancient history.

[chonabot]

Are you lot that short on topics ?  Ancient history.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Without it this site wouldn't exist though Doc.

[lampard10]

Are you lot that short on topics ?  Ancient history.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Look Doc...........................most of us ARE ancient history

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I'd heard that

[daleyboy]

Also have to watch out for soi dogs peeing on you.

Nope... sorry... can't say they've ever peed on me...!

totster

The one that peed on me i think found it highly amusing. The wife and i were stood waiting for a cab when a manky old dog came over and started sniffing around my wife so i shood it away we carried on waiting when this dog decided to creep up behind me and p1ss down the back of my leg, i was wearing shorts at the time, he then proceeded to look back as if to say "that will teach you for shooing me away" and walked off, my wife found it highly amusing, i didnt

[kayo]

And the point of all that is??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And the point of all that is??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The point is kayo dredged up an ancient thread.

When I saw Bud Zumwalt's name what clued me. Now there was a legendary poster in the annals of TV!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you lot that short on topics ?  Ancient history.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Without it this site wouldn't exist though Doc.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I've been an active member for nearly a year now, and I see a lot of repetition in threads, so, instead of posting a "new" thread, I figure that from time to time, I'll just take a little time and effort and revive old ones... Should also be fun for people to read old old threads after several years.

[Totster]

Also have to watch out for soi dogs peeing on you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope... sorry... can't say they've ever peed on me...!

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The one that peed on me i think found it highly amusing. The wife and i were stood waiting for a cab when a manky old dog came over and started sniffing around my wife so i shood it away we carried on waiting when this dog decided to creep up behind me and p1ss down the back of my leg, i was wearing shorts at the time, he then proceeded to look back as if to say "that will teach you for shooing me away" and walked off, my wife found it highly amusing, i didnt

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

55555

It would have definately got a boot up the arse from me... but I can also see the funny side...

totster

[BambinA]

This is Thailand

bambi

[kayo]

This is  Thailand 

bambi 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Er, no it's not actually.

This is

[Boon Mee]

And the point of all that is??????

And the point of all that is??????

The point is kayo dredged up an ancient thread.

When I saw Bud Zumwalt's name what clued me. Now there was a legendary poster in the annals of TV!

Are you lot that short on topics ?  Ancient history.

Without it this site wouldn't exist though Doc.

I've been an active member for nearly a year now, and I see a lot of repetition in threads, so, instead of posting a "new" thread, I figure that from time to time, I'll just take a little time and effort and revive old ones... Should also be fun for people to read old old threads after several years.

I don't see anything wrong with it Kayo. In fact, I've done it a few times myself when the subject material bears repeating. When I said you had dredged up an old thread I meant it in no disrespect.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Also have to watch out for soi dogs peeing on you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope... sorry... can't say they've ever peed on me...!

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The one that peed on me i think found it highly amusing. The wife and i were stood waiting for a cab when a manky old dog came over and started sniffing around my wife so i shood it away we carried on waiting when this dog decided to creep up behind me and p1ss down the back of my leg, i was wearing shorts at the time, he then proceeded to look back as if to say "that will teach you for shooing me away" and walked off, my wife found it highly amusing, i didnt

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A very clever dog I'd say He knew how to express himself

[Totster]

totster

[aughie]

I was poking around the internet looking for animated gifs when I came across a post on another forum by JoeStrummer. Remember that guy? What a character. I remember when I posted I thought his avatar looked stupid. He had used a pic of himself and was none too happy with my observation.

[kayo]

And the point of all that is??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And the point of all that is??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The point is kayo dredged up an ancient thread.

When I saw Bud Zumwalt's name what clued me. Now there was a legendary poster in the annals of TV!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you lot that short on topics ?  Ancient history.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Without it this site wouldn't exist though Doc.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I've been an active member for nearly a year now, and I see a lot of repetition in threads, so, instead of posting a "new" thread, I figure that from time to time, I'll just take a little time and effort and revive old ones... Should also be fun for people to read old old threads after several years.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't see anything wrong with it Kayo. In fact, I've done it a few times myself when the subject material bears repeating. When I said you had dredged up an old thread I meant it in no disrespect.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I understanmd that Boon Mee. My little elaboration was intended more for DJ Pat and the good Dr. P.

totster   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[markt]

Also my old mate Markt , don't see much of him anymore .

Sorry Chonners, i haven't deserted this site, it's just since we moved i'm too knackered to sit at the computer these days.

We'll be at the Thai festival at Battersea park i hope.

[IvanLaw]

Are you lot that short on topics ?  Ancient history.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Look Doc...........................most of us ARE ancient history

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Must be a Contender for Quote of the week / Month

But a great one liner

Regards

Ivan