MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll have a wee moan now about the only thing that winds me up to hel_l about living here. Now it's not the women and family thing, it's not the driving, it's not the double charging of farang, it's not the political situation, not the exchange rate, not the insults from the natives . . . don't give a ling's dar about any of that. It's trying to open plastic packaging. In this country they have replaced normal plastic packaging with Kevlar, titanium and carbon-fibre re-inforced bullet proof packaging. Like tiny little, highly irritating Fort Knoxs' all over the kitchen. I'm 34, a big ugly site manager from Blighty and I cannot open the following without using a 2" angle-grinder with a diamond blade. Crisp packets, you can pull and pull until you break your knuckles, still end up tearing the things open from an edge and this emasculates me, takes away any Alpha male ego and reduces me to a quivering mental wreck on the floor. Coffee sachets, just when you're desperate for caffeine, out comes the big blade, next thing Elastoplast and blood everywhere! Anything vacuum packed in plastic. Anything bound in plastic. Anything wrapped in plastic, bagged in plastic, sealed in plastic. Anyting plastic. Righty oh then, what I need to establish is, am I the only one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phaethon Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll let you know as soon as I have unpacked my new keyboard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll let you know as soon as I have unpacked my new keyboard... You know what I mean though. I mean . . . I mean . . . ahhh . . . .wwwhattt . . . what is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OriginalPoster Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 (edited) I'll have a wee moan now about the only thing that winds me up to hel_l about living here.Now it's not the women and family thing, it's not the driving, it's not the double charging of farang, it's not the political situation, not the exchange rate, not the insults from the natives . . . don't give a ling's dar about any of that. It's trying to open plastic packaging. In this country they have replaced normal plastic packaging with Kevlar, titanium and carbon-fibre re-inforced bullet proof packaging. Like tiny little, highly irritating Fort Knoxs' all over the kitchen. I'm 34, a big ugly site manager from Blighty and I cannot open the following without using a 2" angle-grinder with a diamond blade. Crisp packets, you can pull and pull until you break your knuckles, still end up tearing the things open from an edge and this emasculates me, takes away any Alpha male ego and reduces me to a quivering mental wreck on the floor. Coffee sachets, just when you're desperate for caffeine, out comes the big blade, next thing Elastoplast and blood everywhere! Anything vacuum packed in plastic. Anything bound in plastic. Anything wrapped in plastic, bagged in plastic, sealed in plastic. Anyting plastic. Righty oh then, what I need to establish is, am I the only one? The problem is that you Brighton guys knocked all your teeth out opening beer bottles and fighting with your girlfriends' boyfriends. Rip them open with your teeth, goddammit. Then headbutt them for good measure. Edited May 14, 2009 by OriginalPoster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanzkneez Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 perhaps you are just getting on a bit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 perhaps you are just getting on a bit? D'ya tink so? I've a lot of grey comin' though recently. My knees aren't what they were either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 magic mushrooms? and all the females dancing on that island floating in the sky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya_girl Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll have a wee moan now about the only thing that winds me up to hel_l about living here.Now it's not the women and family thing, it's not the driving, it's not the double charging of farang, it's not the political situation, not the exchange rate, not the insults from the natives . . . don't give a ling's dar about any of that. It's trying to open plastic packaging. In this country they have replaced normal plastic packaging with Kevlar, titanium and carbon-fibre re-inforced bullet proof packaging. Like tiny little, highly irritating Fort Knoxs' all over the kitchen. I'm 34, a big ugly site manager from Blighty and I cannot open the following without using a 2" angle-grinder with a diamond blade. Crisp packets, you can pull and pull until you break your knuckles, still end up tearing the things open from an edge and this emasculates me, takes away any Alpha male ego and reduces me to a quivering mental wreck on the floor. Coffee sachets, just when you're desperate for caffeine, out comes the big blade, next thing Elastoplast and blood everywhere! Anything vacuum packed in plastic. Anything bound in plastic. Anything wrapped in plastic, bagged in plastic, sealed in plastic. Anyting plastic. Righty oh then, what I need to establish is, am I the only one? No, you are not the only one. Try getting into a box of Sugerlumps, its a major job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll have a wee moan now about the only thing that winds me up to hel_l about living here.Now it's not the women and family thing, it's not the driving, it's not the double charging of farang, it's not the political situation, not the exchange rate, not the insults from the natives . . . don't give a ling's dar about any of that. It's trying to open plastic packaging. In this country they have replaced normal plastic packaging with Kevlar, titanium and carbon-fibre re-inforced bullet proof packaging. Like tiny little, highly irritating Fort Knoxs' all over the kitchen. I'm 34, a big ugly site manager from Blighty and I cannot open the following without using a 2" angle-grinder with a diamond blade. Crisp packets, you can pull and pull until you break your knuckles, still end up tearing the things open from an edge and this emasculates me, takes away any Alpha male ego and reduces me to a quivering mental wreck on the floor. Coffee sachets, just when you're desperate for caffeine, out comes the big blade, next thing Elastoplast and blood everywhere! Anything vacuum packed in plastic. Anything bound in plastic. Anything wrapped in plastic, bagged in plastic, sealed in plastic. Anyting plastic. Righty oh then, what I need to establish is, am I the only one? No, you are not the only one. Try getting into a box of Sugerlumps, its a major job. I've the diabetes, so unlikely. BTW, what's the guy above going on about mushrooms or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukme Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Natives? How derogatory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Don't worry, dear, it happens all over the world!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Natives? How derogatory. Oh get a life will you. I guess you're British so you're trained to attempt to mark anyone a racist for the slightest remark. Well I'll have you know, I'm a vehement anti-racist but I'm not one of those PC quires. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Oh, you all missed the pun in the title . . . gripe . . . grip. Only just noticed it myself to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lannarebirth Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Scissors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Scissors. Yes I know, scissors! You know that thing, when you go out to get something, try to remember really hard what it was you went out to get, forget it completely and come back with something entirely different. Well, that's been the case everyday now for the last two weeks regards scissors! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdietz Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Scissors. Bought a pair the other day, haven't been able to open the plastic package it came in yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Scissors. Bought a pair the other day, haven't been able to open the plastic package it came in yet. Now this is my point! Why don't they provide scissors to open the plastic packaging a pair of scissors comes in? Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya_girl Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Scissors. Bought a pair the other day, haven't been able to open the plastic package it came in yet. Hahaha good reply !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastEgo Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 it'sthe plastic bags full of food tied in rubber bangs that get me usuallly its boiling hot soup and getting the band of is a major task because they tie it right where at the base of the food and the bag gets moisture on the outside so you can not even grab the bag properly so you end up knifing the bag and get hot soup - it always is hot soup when this happens - all over you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 it'sthe plastic bags full of food tied in rubber bangs that get meusuallly its boiling hot soup and getting the band of is a major task because they tie it right where at the base of the food and the bag gets moisture on the outside so you can not even grab the bag properly so you end up knifing the bag and get hot soup - it always is hot soup when this happens - all over you I embarrass myself daily with the rubber band thing, so I do. I anyone could produce a little guide on how to tie/untie (another wee pun there, did you see that, did you?) these rubber bands . . . well, it'd be great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 oh why my sticky rice was wrapped by the banana leaf eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 oh why my sticky rice was wrapped by the banana leaf eh? No, no, I've never had a problem with the leaf wrap thing. Everything should, where possible come packaged like this. I refuse plastic bags in shops, 7/11 and T-Lotus etc. There's no need for this country to look like the top of a landfill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 (edited) Yeah the plastic seems fuc_king strong overthere in thailand. Maybe Thais love plastic? Opening a bag of chips can turn out quite nasty...blood all over the floor Edited May 14, 2009 by Datsun240Z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TEFLMike Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 A local company makes fresh cake, cut into slices, placed in thick plastic covering that not even medicinal tablets would not even be placed in. The ends of the packaging are folded over and stapled. Heaven forbid. There are many cut fingers when opening these snack foods. I find the crisp packets are quite difficult also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 A local company makes fresh cake, cut into slices, placed in thick plastic covering that not even medicinal tablets would not even be placed in. The ends of the packaging are folded over and stapled. Heaven forbid. There are many cut fingers when opening these snack foods. I find the crisp packets are quite difficult also. I'm sure it's the reason I've lost weight recently. I crave Cheese 'n Onion but have yet to find a suitable device to open the bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khundon Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll have a wee moan now about the only thing that winds me up to hel_l about living here.Now it's not the women and family thing, it's not the driving, it's not the double charging of farang, it's not the political situation, not the exchange rate, not the insults from the natives . . . don't give a ling's dar about any of that. It's trying to open plastic packaging. In this country they have replaced normal plastic packaging with Kevlar, titanium and carbon-fibre re-inforced bullet proof packaging. Like tiny little, highly irritating Fort Knoxs' all over the kitchen. I'm 34, a big ugly site manager from Blighty and I cannot open the following without using a 2" angle-grinder with a diamond blade. Crisp packets, you can pull and pull until you break your knuckles, still end up tearing the things open from an edge and this emasculates me, takes away any Alpha male ego and reduces me to a quivering mental wreck on the floor. Coffee sachets, just when you're desperate for caffeine, out comes the big blade, next thing Elastoplast and blood everywhere! Anything vacuum packed in plastic. Anything bound in plastic. Anything wrapped in plastic, bagged in plastic, sealed in plastic. Anyting plastic. Righty oh then, what I need to establish is, am I the only one? Yes you are. Employ a little maid, they can open anything. Don't forget to add another cost line to your spread sheet. Line title should read "Cost for being hopeless at everything" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll have a wee moan now about the only thing that winds me up to hel_l about living here.Now it's not the women and family thing, it's not the driving, it's not the double charging of farang, it's not the political situation, not the exchange rate, not the insults from the natives . . . don't give a ling's dar about any of that. It's trying to open plastic packaging. In this country they have replaced normal plastic packaging with Kevlar, titanium and carbon-fibre re-inforced bullet proof packaging. Like tiny little, highly irritating Fort Knoxs' all over the kitchen. I'm 34, a big ugly site manager from Blighty and I cannot open the following without using a 2" angle-grinder with a diamond blade. Crisp packets, you can pull and pull until you break your knuckles, still end up tearing the things open from an edge and this emasculates me, takes away any Alpha male ego and reduces me to a quivering mental wreck on the floor. Coffee sachets, just when you're desperate for caffeine, out comes the big blade, next thing Elastoplast and blood everywhere! Anything vacuum packed in plastic. Anything bound in plastic. Anything wrapped in plastic, bagged in plastic, sealed in plastic. Anyting plastic. Righty oh then, what I need to establish is, am I the only one? Yes you are. Employ a little maid, they can open anything. Don't forget to add another cost line to your spread sheet. Line title should read "Cost for being hopeless at everything" I painted a wall today! It looks nice, too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukme Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 LOL. I'm sure he can find a "native" in his local area whom he could employ as a maid to open crisp packets etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 LOL. I'm sure he can find a "native" in his local area whom he could employ as a maid to open crisp packets etc Okay then. These forums I find to be an amazing service. Incredible. I come to this one, I get on well with Dutch people and Thai people and Americans and especially Aussie's, list goes on . . . Yet, when many of the British post, it reminds me of why I left that place. As I told you before and how dare you frankly, I've done more than many for poor people in countries like this, suggest that because I use what you believe to be a . . . . Oh nevermind, what's the point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oberkommando Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 It's because the packaging companies deliberately make them difficult for farang fingers to open. They are exacting a little piece of revenge on you every time you frustrate yourself trying to open a packet of crisps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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