The "good" Thai Wife Is A Subjective Term

[bravingbangkok]

It's not even worth pointing out the crap in Jimmy's cut and paste twaddle.

Lets just say it is like a bigoted stone skimming over the pond of ignorance.

"For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls". "

That is a load of waddle is it ? Well then you obviously do not know what you are talking about and that goes for Maigo as well or are you just being a sheep Maigo and forgot to actually read the post ?

No it is not a load of WADDLE it is a load of twaddle. Waddle is what ducks do. Twaddle is what Jimmy speaks. And no I am not a Maigo follower.

The first three lines compares Thai behaviour with western behaviour. Then he goes on to say that he wouldn't want to be with a Thai girl because she only thinks in terms of fun (Sanook) and fun is only meant for infants. Then he mentions that Thai girls have began to use the internet and the terrible SMS - well if you got the toys use them. I fail to see the point he is making and the point that you agree with. It is twaddle: Nonsense.

It is called a typo

Okay it may be a little over the top but by no means not true or twaddle as you so gracefully put it. Well there was no conclusion so I fail to see how one could get the point of his post. It is as you said copied and pasted from a text so we obviously do not know the point of it.

What we have seen is most certainly not untrue.

Edited May 27, 2009 by bravingbangkok

[bravingbangkok]

PS. I never said you were a Maigo follower, I would never bestow such a title upon another human.

[Geekfreaklover]

PS. I never said you were a Maigo follower, I would never bestow such a title upon another human.

Apology accepted.

Now I must clock off and speak to two visitors - both Thai female uni grads, ones an airline hostess. the other a teacher. Am sure that they would both love to digest and discuss Jim's aforementioned summary of the fairer Thai sex.

[Maigo6]

PS. I never said you were a Maigo follower, I would never bestow such a title upon another human.

Oh dear....

BravingBangkok has taking several potshots at me tonight, silly boy.

Like I said before, if you can identify with certain posts on this forum and think some anonymous poster holds the key to your future happiness, go for it.

There are also people that will disagree, or could not even be bothered to read any further than the second line ( like me ).

And just like me, I doubt they'll lose any sleep over it, one way or the other.

Edited May 27, 2009 by Maigo6

[JohnGotti]

How many more of these posts to we have to put up with ?

Yeah, its getting a bit repetitious. I can just envision the next thread:

"I just post for let you're know that good girl are out there if you are good too. I meet girl from very very good family work in 711. she not ask me any money or anything. she say she love me for me and now we are married and i love thailand. i am so happy for not married with another bar girl. i think all farang should marry 711 employees. this is just my post for learn you about my history. please no trolls post negatively against me."

[piglet373]

baskins robbins chicks are much hotter than 7-11 ones

[bravingbangkok]

PS. I never said you were a Maigo follower, I would never bestow such a title upon another human.

Oh dear....

BravingBangkok has taking several potshots at me tonight, silly boy.

Like I said before, if you can identify with certain posts on this forum and think some anonymous poster holds the key to your future happiness, go for it.

There are also people that will disagree, or could not even be bothered to read any further than the second line ( like me ).

And just like me, I doubt they'll lose any sleep over it, one way or the other.

Not much of a comeback Maigo is it ? I expected more from you young man !

Like I said I never mentioned that I draw my life strategy from TV forums. Quote me where I did and we can all sit back and clap.

Until then shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Maigo6]

we can all sit back and clap.

Until then shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Maigo6]

baskins robbins chicks are much hotter than 7-11 ones

Swenson's are better than Baskin Robbins !

[David H]

baskins robbins chicks are much hotter than 7-11 ones

Swenson's are better than Baskin Robbins !

Then you haven't tried KFC

[sanook2me]

baskins robbins chicks are much hotter than 7-11 ones

Swenson's are better than Baskin Robbins !

Have to agree on this I only emailed a mate of mine yesterday about the young sweet delights in Swensens.

very very sweet...

but they've stopped the mango and sticky rice combo

[Maigo6]

baskins robbins chicks are much hotter than 7-11 ones

Swenson's are better than Baskin Robbins !

Have to agree on this I only emailed a mate of mine yesterday about the young sweet delights in Swensens.

very very sweet...

but they've stopped the mango and sticky rice combo

I can remember one girl in Swensons name of Som, Big C Pattaya, maybe 4 years ago....... she was a darling, even my missus thought so.

I only saw her there once, but everyone ( Farang ) was looking at her, maybe she was too paranoid to continue work, or maybe she had fantastic offers of sponsership, she was working in Swensons during a Uni break.

She was lovely.

Edited May 27, 2009 by Maigo6

[JimmyJones]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into...[/size] My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. [/size]I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Who knows but for someone so well educated and with such a good job im surprised at his terrible use of paragraphs, capital letters and letter sizing.

He also seems to know a lot about the bar scene yet views himself as a cut above any male who spends time in it.

[JimmyJones]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into...[/size] My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. [/size]I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Who knows but for someone so well educated and with such a good job im surprised at his terrible use of paragraphs, capital letters and letter sizing.

He also seems to know a lot about the bar scene yet views himself as a cut above any male who spends time in it.

Sorry Guys...I didn't know who is the audience here...I saw topics like "visa runs" and the like...

What is twaddle? is that a Brit term?

Yes, I have been living here "as long as I said" with a legally obtained work permit...not living here as a ghost and making "visa runs" so I can stay in Thailand at any cost rather than go back to my "own country" as many farangs i've met are doing. If that's what you are doing, fine. I just meant by the "cars and condo" bit that I am here to work...I didnt come here and fall in love with Thailand and am now looking for ways to stay "at any cost" by running some shady business...

I just get the impression from these forums that people are looking to the successful owners of a Pattaya bar for insight into Thailand.

Of course I know about bars...how can you live here and not know....duh!

And quite a few of the Thai girls i've known are bi so they like to go and look at the girls dancing as well.

One thread said "why look to posters in an internet forum for advice on how to run your life?"

Which is true...

[Maigo6]

And quite a few of the Thai girls i've known are bi so they like to go and look at the girls dancing as well.

One thread said "why look to posters in an internet forum for advice on how to run your life?"

Which is true...

OK Jimmy, I'm with you on both counts !

[MaiChai]

I see where JimmyJones is coming from. However there is some good decent modern thinking Thai girls out there. I am a Thai old hand from 1995, lived upcountry for many years and now live in Bangkok. I was skeptical like Jimmy but have met a said lady and we have been together for almost three years now. She even looks after my kids from my former wife. I could not ask for a more perfect girlfriend from anywhere. So there you go, the exception to the rule.

[Bolo]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into...[/size] My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. [/size]I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Who knows but for someone so well educated and with such a good job im surprised at his terrible use of paragraphs, capital letters and letter sizing.

If I were going to write that much I wouldn't give a flip about grammar either.

He also seems to know a lot about the bar scene yet views himself as a cut above any male who spends time in it.

[RAZZELL]

An interesting read JJ...

You made several points. Men and women lie and cheat. They trade up when it suits them. It helps to be well-matched intellectually and socially for a successful relationship. Thai socio-cultural norms are different to those in the West and even surrounding Asian nations.

All to a greater or lesser extent true.

But a statement in the blindingly obvious for anyone who's linguistic skills have reached above the dizzying heights of "Ting Tong" and who's geographical knowledge of Thailand extends beyond the beers bars of Pattaya

RAZZ

[Bolo]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into... My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

Jimmy, a lot of what you say is true from my current experience. I see a lot of that to be right on especially the name time. hahah that one had me chuckling. The "Story" is what we all have so i'm not beyond that one. What's the saying "if you have no regrets you haven't lived"? At least makes me feel a little better.

[mahtin]

Good luck...

Luck is what you need ...

[bravingbangkok]

These girls always have a book with their life story written in it, find that and all will be revealed.

[TheLaughingMan]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into...[/size] My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Jimmy Jones, Kin' load of <deleted>.....................

If by twaddle and <deleted> you mean the absolute truth that all men here should pay the utmost attention to then I agree with you 100%.

[khundon]

I am not sure but -

Last night my wife said to me, "What would you do without me?" Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer

LOL.......

I'm in the same boat, 20 year old sister who lives with us and brings her college friends round....

I wanna adopt a few of them.

"Adopt" is that what they are calling it these days.

[a2396]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into... My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

What a load of twaddle.

Twaddle nothing!! Quite true from my experiences. No doubt about most of it. I was married to a Malaysian Chinese for 7 years & there is a "night and day" differnce in the general ethics concerning many points mentioned above. I never saw the institutionalized lying in Malaysia, such as exists in Thailand.

[Moonrakers]

JimmyJones.

Your Grammar, punctuation and general presentation just seems to have improved dramatically. Which leads me to wonder if it was really you who wrote the small novel in your first post.............

[marsteele]

Find a good Thai wife...[/size] My advice...if you live here, better to import your bride from another SE Asian country, unless you admit to the facts of what you are getting into... My credentials: 15 years living and working in Thailand as a manager of a large company.... NOT ex-military, NOT living as a "ghost" and making visa runs and worrying about changes to the immigration laws that make it harder to stay in Thailand shacked up with my ex-bargirlfriend. That's not me. I have condos, cars and access to "normal" Thai society. Many writers in these types of forums are involved with bargirls. If you are one of these types, don't waste your time reading this, as you need to evolve beyond that phase. The guys who believe that "she just needs someone to take her out of the bar and then she will be normal", the guys that sit in Pattaya beer bars at 11AM waiting for the night to come, the guys that think that their situation is an exception...well, you will evolve after she takes all your money or leaves you or both. Normal Thai's hate bargirls and so should you. I can remember a sleazy bar in my hometown in the US when you could see a few drunk, tattooed losers who smelled like last nights puke and have endless hard-luck stories. These are the sisters of your bargirl. Why anyone would want to "get to know them and their family" and give them access to your financial future is beyond me. Anyway, enough about bargirls. POINT #1 At the moment, I am dating four normal Thai girls. They are all university educated, have their own cars, their own apartments, and have respectable jobs. These jobs range from marketing to account managers for financial firms. There is no money involved with any of them, and sometimes they offer to pay for dinner. One of them said her last boyfriend wasted his money on gadgets when he should have invested more in mutual funds in the US. Ever here something like that from your upcountry girlfriend?

Of course, with the financial crisis, maybe it would have made better sense to invest in a new water buffalo for the family in Ubon after all! Anyway, when asked, three out of four of these Bangkok girls say "all Thai girls lie".

I ventured that maybe 85% do, but they said NO ... ALL!. One (the account manager) said that if I were her boyfriend, she would still cheat on me, because "looking for the better deal" was the normal goal. This is not a statistically significant sample, but it does make you think.... POINT #2 How many successful marriages between Thai's and farangs do you know of? By "successful", I mean a STABLE, married couple that you might imagine meeting back home. I do NOT mean the marriage where the guy is drunk in the pub every night because he knows he is stuck, or the girl who comes home at 9AM from a night out drinking with her friend named "Lek". I am thinking of a married couple where they love each other and pool their resources from the jobs or business to buy a home, expand the business, or put their kids in a better school. In other words, plan together for a future. Now, how many successful marriages between, say, Vietnamese or Filipino or Chinese and Westerners do you know of....? Probably more. Thailand is different from every other culture in SE Asia ... I believe these differences make it very difficult for a successful marriage between Thai and Westerner. Not impossible, just difficult. I have had girlfriends from Indonesian, China, Philippines, Malaysia, Cambodia and Singapore. In one way or another, these countries share some aspect of their culture that is in tune with Western thinking. The populations of Indonesia and Malaysia are predominately Muslim with a smaller Christian minority. The Philippines is Catholic. Vietnam is not associated with a particular religion, but there are a lot of Catholics. But Thailand is different in that it is primarily Buddhist, along with "something else". Unlike the other major religions that I just mentioned, Buddhism is a humanist religion...that is, they don't worship a deity, but rather they strive to achieve a particular harmony in physical life, not after-life. My point is, the girls that I have known in the other countries have had better family values, and I think that a part of that comes from, frankly, a "fear of God". It gives them a different aspect on the meaning of right and wrong. I think it gives them a conscience as well. The values of Buddhism do not try to instill fear, but rather a way to live life. I don't pretend to understand a lot about Buddhism, but I don't believe that what is practiced here is not what you may think ..... The Buddha said "do not worship me, or worship images of me" but in Thailand everyone wears a Buddha amulet. There are markets that trade these amulets, and some sell for millions of baht because they were carved by a famous monk. Some amulets are believed to deflect bullets! Even the meaning of Karma is distorted. The meaning is basically, "what goes around come around" and if you do bad, it will come back to you". But many here see the meaning as "I shouldn't do bad because I will get punished" without understanding why something is "bad" in the first place. Lying is an epidemic ... but it's not called lying. It's "avoiding conflict" or "avoiding loss of face". Withholding information is not considered lying. If your girl goes out with another guy, it is not a lie because you didn't catch her, or you didn't ask. But one of the worst aspects is the "face" issue. In many cases, the parents and relatives living upcountry are not sitting around watching the rice grain wave in the wind or praying in the temple. They are involved in an inter-community pissing contest as to "why so-and-so got a bigger flat screen TV from her daughter in Bangkok than I did".

For Bangkok girls, it is your sophomore year in high school all over again, with the people with the car and the Macbook being more popular than those without. Who is going to the HiSo club and who's boyfriend (read:"FRIEND") is giving them the most toys. There is the additional belief in "Sanuk" ... that you should avoid things that are not fun. This is a philosophy for 5 year olds. Do you really want a wife who believes that? Finally, there is a growing migration of "bargirl-like" attributes from the bar into middle class Thai society. The excellent article below describes this ... it wasn't too long ago that even a rich and well-connected farang would have little chance to meet a normal Thai girl. Their families would disapprove. However, in the past 10 years, you can see more and more so-called normal Thai girls managing multiple farang "sugar-daddies" via SMS, asking for money and IPOD/computers and LV purses, and these guys don't know about each other. If they DO find out, well, then "he's just my FRIEND" or "oh, he's GAY". This article below is SO TRUE from my personal experience that I was almost in tears from laughing after reading it...especially the way lying is so natural, and so accepted. Again, I am talking about so-called "good girls".

My ex-girlfriend from Indonesia (she's Muslim and married to a Brit guy now...I know him too) once told me "you should look for a girl that contributes to the relationship...not just a needy and clinging girl who happens to have a nice body". This really opened my eyes. I used to think as well that the "social contract" here was, I bring the financial support to the relationship, and she brings the cute body. But you can have a cute girl who can contribute as well, and not just bring a load of problems from upcountry and needs to impress her Thai girlfriends with the latest fashions. One last thing...when I meet a girl in a country like Malaysia or Philippines, I often know her whole life story in 30 minutes...sometimes when I DON'T even want to know!

With some Thai girls, it took a month to find out their real name. This is called "story" ...as in "I will tell you my STORY when I know you better" . The definition of STORY is basically "a collection of mistakes and bad decisions made throughout my life that I am looking for someone to fix for me"

To close, I hope not to offend anyone here..and there are many farang guys who are users and abusers as well. Good luck...

good comments

[zemoo]

Couldn't agree more with JimmyJones. Everything he said is spot on. I could add more but I don't have the energy and what is understood does not need to be discussed. Well ok, maybe I'll add just a bit.

I won't try to justify my position by listing my credentials or boring you with all the negative experiences I've had but definitely if you want to give yourself the best chance possible of finding an equal and having a 'real' relationship, stop chasing Thai skirt. One big let down after another in my experience! There are some real nice mainland Chinese girls (more intelligent, independent, mature, honest, loyal, curious about the world etc., than any Thai girl I've ever met and I have more Thai friends than giks!) living in BKK that are, generally speaking, quite lonely (as are most foreign girls living out here) and would jump at the chance to date a decent Falang. I have found these girls to be open-minded, refreshingly genuine and have more sense of adventure and fun than can possibly be conveyed by the word 'sanuuk'!

They're nothing like the Chinese-Thai I have met and dated (complete opposite as a matter of fact!). Seriously, if you have any self-respect / self-esteem and have your shit together, consider foreign girls living here. If your heart/mind is set on meeting a Thai for future Spouse, you have far greater chance outside of Thailand.

Sad but true!

[mahtin]

Sad is you.

Horsefeathers.