Invited To Family Dinner

[Datsun240Z]

Can somebody explain me, what's so special when a foreigner meets the Thai lady family, instead of when a foreigner girl, meets a foreigner family.

For approval, of course. The majority of good Thai woman would not be with a foreign man if mother is not happy.

Maybe the man is too old. too wrinkly, too fat, too - whatever.

And as head of the family mother is always correct

But.. you say " good Thai woman" , so being fat, wrinkly, or 3 teethed, is not acceptable? Than it's not from love and the heart again, but for money.

[Thaddeus]

The best thing to take to any family meeting is a sharp intake of breath just before you get there.

They don't know you, you don't know them.

Get to know them on the first visit, and from that knowledge, take something they will like on the second one ......... applies everywhere, not just Thailand.

Edit.

Forgot to add, around these parts the guest does not bring gifts, if gifts are expected from the family ..... wrong family.

Edited May 27, 2009 by Thaddeus

[Chaimai]

Personally, if i were invited dinner to anyones family (in any country) usually I would bring something to add to the meal. Maybe some sweet treat native to my own country or maybe just a platter of fresh fruit. Nothing too heavy or anything that would imply that i wouldnt want to eat the main dish/meal. Just an accompaniment.

Personally wouldnt take alcohol, but nothing wrong with that if you know the family drink.

Eek !!

Thanks

Fruit sounds good. A neutral choice and one not liable to offend.

If you gave me fruit I would give it to the fruit eating people and ask you why the F#@K you didn't bring me any Alcohol.

I am assuming that eek does not get invited to many dinner parties

Infact, I don't think eek gets out much at all !

[Datsun240Z]

Personally, if i were invited dinner to anyones family (in any country) usually I would bring something to add to the meal. Maybe some sweet treat native to my own country or maybe just a platter of fresh fruit. Nothing too heavy or anything that would imply that i wouldnt want to eat the main dish/meal. Just an accompaniment.

Personally wouldnt take alcohol, but nothing wrong with that if you know the family drink.

Eek !!

Thanks

Fruit sounds good. A neutral choice and one not liable to offend.

If you gave me fruit I would give it to the fruit eating people and ask you why the F#@K you didn't bring me any Alcohol.

now where talking

[teacup]

G54.…

U r here asking again?……how many GF do you have?…..lol

Seems like I’m here to rescue you “yet again”….

U should hire me as your private consultant on anything thai thingy….haha

Ok here goes….

No don’t take a fruits plate (like already peeled or open), coz by the time you get there ..it will look terrible with this hot weather and not to mention all those flies!!

If your age or your look doesn’t scare her mother , then she should be happy to see…

-fruit basket

Don’t take oranges, but a bit more expensive fruits.

-perfume

Just small bottle will do, most thai women “at all ages” love perfume

-dessert

Like cake and other thai desserts.... farang dessert ok too

-alchohol

Whiskly or whatever….farang brand names even better

Yes this is still a good one to give to the elders/or men in the family too, eventho some may not drink, but it’s still intriguing to them to see one too.

Most of them would love to have the collection of brands in those mini bottles…u know

-a electric fan

This is a good one too

- a pot of flowering or fruit tree

- a plates set

- DO NOT GIVE……money, gold, or jewelry or anything that too expensive

U do not want to set "the wrong" impression of yourself at the beginning, that you might be a big big very big ATM!!!

Ok those just to name a few of what is typical for the thais would do

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Word of advice when you’re there

Do not act like you’re in the Disneyland or something, or over-joyed and grinning like an idiot in everything they do or say……basically DON’T FAKE too much

Even though your first impression to them is very important, however whatever you do and say….will be used against you later on, and set the tone of what they will be viewing/thinking of you throughout the relationship with your girl....esp the financial part.

So …Do not give them the impression that your are ….the king of Monaco with bottomless pit.

DO-NOT use money to buy….their LOVE & EFFECTION….otherwise you will be back on this board with more whining stories.

Keep your visit….not to long,

so you won’t feel the need to fit in too much for the first time,

or got hit with many undesireable questions like…..what your monthly salary, how rich you are, or when is the wedding…etcs

Chok dee

TC

Edited May 27, 2009 by teacup

[Chaimai]

If your age or your look doesn't scare her mother , then she should be happy to see…

-fruit basket

Don't take oranges, but a bit more expensive fruits.

-perfume

Just small bottle will do, most thai women "at all ages" love perfume

-dessert

Like cake and other thai desserts.... farang dessert ok too

-alchohol

Whiskly or whatever….farang brand names even better

Yes this is still a good one to give to the elders/or men in the family too, eventho some may not drink, but it's still intriguing to them to see one too.

Most of them would love to have the collection of brands in those mini bottles…u know

-a electric fan

This is a good one too

- a pot of flowering or fruit tree

- a plates set

.

TC

Teacup, he is going for dinner - not trying to fulfil a Christmas list for Santa

Take that lot to my in-laws and you will double the value of their possessions !

[sanook2me]

Can somebody explain me, what's so special when a foreigner meets the Thai lady family, instead of when a foreigner girl, meets a foreigner family.

Well it goes something like this - Western values mean that boys and girls should have lots of encounters and experiences when young so mom and dad don't bat an eye lid when every few weeks daughter has a new beau in tow.

Compared with what we are supposed to know about Thai culture is that meeting the prospective in laws means just that - that their daughter is showing you off as a long term asset not a quick thrill.

This is what the supposed difference is my friend.

But to G54 having to want to meet so many moms have you got a fetish for this?

[teacup]

Teacup, he is going for dinner - not trying to fulfil a Christmas list for Santa

Take that lot to my in-laws and you will double the value of their possessions !

Oopsie….Sorry

What I meant was….try to pick only one or two from the list

Ok G54 sweetie….

READ-MY-LIPS again

Pick one or two from the list only,….. since you’re not meeting my mother

[eek]

I am assuming that eek does not get invited to many dinner parties

Infact, I don't think eek gets out much at all !

Its not a dinner party he is talking about, its a family dinner. Big difference. Guess you didnt know?

[toybits]

Ask you GF what her family might expect from you. Bring something benign - a basket of fruits or flowers for the mom. Also, this would depend on the social status of your GF's family.

I have never thought of this before, but as I have been invited to dinner to 'meet the family' for the first time, is there anything I should take?

In the UK you would maybe take a bottle of wine or something similar. Are there any customs here to observe like that on that first dinner at the parents house?

I am painfully aware of what the meeting itself is for and how to behave, being a helicopter, I have done this several (several?? ) times before, so that is not part of the question.

Edited May 28, 2009 by toybits

[Livinginexile]

And some plans for the new house you're gonna build for them....

lol

Geez I love reading your posts

[G54]

Personally, if i were invited dinner to anyones family (in any country) usually I would bring something to add to the meal. Maybe some sweet treat native to my own country or maybe just a platter of fresh fruit. Nothing too heavy or anything that would imply that i wouldnt want to eat the main dish/meal. Just an accompaniment.

Personally wouldnt take alcohol, but nothing wrong with that if you know the family drink.

Eek !!

Thanks

Fruit sounds good. A neutral choice and one not liable to offend.

If you gave me fruit I would give it to the fruit eating people and ask you why the F#@K you didn't bring me any Alcohol.

But that has to be because you are a p*ss head

[bkkjames]

And some plans for the new house you're gonna build for them....

lol

Geez I love reading your posts

Don't encourage him - his ego is big enough for 3 lifetimes already.

On the point of what to bring - let me add my two satang.

Fruit is nice and sweet of you but may have them thinking is he gay.

Be a man, and bring some Jack, this way for sure, you will be welcomed back.

Failing that, bring some Sing - Leo, Chang or Cheers

Causing nothing says "welcome to the family" than a few shared local beers.

[Moonrakers]

Nobody has mentioned a bottle of wine or 2?

[bkkjames]

Nobody has mentioned a bottle of wine or 2?

wine - hahahahaha

[JohnGotti]

I have never thought of this before, but as I have been invited to dinner to 'meet the family' for the first time, is there anything I should take?

Your dignity.

[bkkjames]

I have never thought of this before, but as I have been invited to dinner to 'meet the family' for the first time, is there anything I should take?

Your dignity.

G54

Perhaps if you tell us a bit more about the family, we can tailor our suggestions.

For example, a simple farmer type family might be impressed by a few chickens or a small truck.

Whereas, if you are meeting TT Young's dad at a pub in Patpong, his expectations might be a bit different.

Personally, I would just come with about 100 Thai lottery tickets and distribute to everyone in attendance - regardless of their background, income status or last name.

[G54]

G54.…

U r here asking again?……how many GF do you have?…..lol

Seems like I'm here to rescue you "yet again"….

U should hire me as your private consultant on anything thai thingy….haha

Ok here goes….

No don't take a fruits plate (like already peeled or open), coz by the time you get there ..it will look terrible with this hot weather and not to mention all those flies!!

If your age or your look doesn't scare her mother , then she should be happy to see…

-fruit basket

Don't take oranges, but a bit more expensive fruits.

-perfume

Just small bottle will do, most thai women "at all ages" love perfume

-dessert

Like cake and other thai desserts.... farang dessert ok too

-alchohol

Whiskly or whatever….farang brand names even better

Yes this is still a good one to give to the elders/or men in the family too, eventho some may not drink, but it's still intriguing to them to see one too.

Most of them would love to have the collection of brands in those mini bottles…u know

-a electric fan

This is a good one too

- a pot of flowering or fruit tree

- a plates set

- DO NOT GIVE……money, gold, or jewelry or anything that too expensive

U do not want to set "the wrong" impression of yourself at the beginning, that you might be a big big very big ATM!!!

Ok those just to name a few of what is typical for the thais would do

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Word of advice when you're there

Do not act like you're in the Disneyland or something, or over-joyed and grinning like an idiot in everything they do or say……basically DON'T FAKE too much

Even though your first impression to them is very important, however whatever you do and say….will be used against you later on, and set the tone of what they will be viewing/thinking of you throughout the relationship with your girl....esp the financial part.

So …Do not give them the impression that your are ….the king of Monaco with bottomless pit.

DO-NOT use money to buy….their LOVE & EFFECTION….otherwise you will be back on this board with more whining stories.

Keep your visit….not to long,

so you won't feel the need to fit in too much for the first time,

or got hit with many undesireable questions like…..what your monthly salary, how rich you are, or when is the wedding…etcs

Chok dee

TC

Teacup, you are such a sweetheart.

Many g/f's? Me? Only one or two, is why I have graduated from Butterfly to Helicopter. not my fault they all want vast amounts of money for 'love' after a few months and so I walk away (see, I do take notice of what you say about gold and money and wealth)

Making the initial impression with mother is never the problem. Never had a mother who was unhappy with me. I have been invited back for dinner and other functions often in past relationships but I refuse to be bullied into giving money for love by the g/f of the day (that is not whining)

As to your suggestions, I have taken them on board, Boss. Not to show wealth, but a general appreciation for them making dinner etc.

[coconutmonkey]

Sure, take something if you want to buy attention

I've never taken a thing, and it's worked out perfectly.... nobody expects a thing.....

Oops, I did buy them a new washing machine, coz got tired just watching the mother bail buckets of water....., worked like a charm..... In return she gave me (wife) 2 rai of land!

[piglet373]

I have never thought of this before, but as I have been invited to dinner to 'meet the family' for the first time, is there anything I should take?

In the UK you would maybe take a bottle of wine or something similar. Are there any customs here to observe like that on that first dinner at the parents house?

I am painfully aware of what the meeting itself is for and how to behave, being a helicopter, I have done this several (several?? ) times before, so that is not part of the question.

So you have done this several times before, yet you ask here what to do ?

What did you do before ?

No NO, don't do that, cos your relationships don't seem to last long, try the exact opposite of what you did before, the results cannot be worse.

he denies it but i think he goes for bargurls! he cant be meeting that many hiso chicks.

[teacup]

Ok..phewww

I now can “rest in peace” since u seem to know what u r doing…good for U, Mr. Helicopter.

Believe me, I know all about the drills, coz I have 4 mothers and half dozen of step-elder siblings….lol

And one of my step-sisters is married to an american for a long long time, both are now living happily in Thailand at the moment since last July…that’s if they haven’t killed each other by now..lol

And the last in-line will be moi’s bf…haha

Ok…Happy dinner then….don’t eat too much and burp burp in front of them

Chai-yo!!

TC

Edited May 28, 2009 by teacup

[piglet373]

Sure, take something if you want to buy attention

I've never taken a thing, and it's worked out perfectly.... nobody expects a thing.....

Oops, I did buy them a new washing machine, coz got tired just watching the mother bail buckets of water....., worked like a charm..... In return she gave me (wife) 2 rai of land!

giving girl 2 rai of land is like doing nothing. daughter would have gotten it anyway.

she give u dunkis , but she make u feel like she give to you. thai too smart for us!

Edited May 28, 2009 by piglet373

[oldsparrow]

If you are not sure what they drink and drink REGULARLY, don't bring a bolttle. The non wine drinker would feel uncomfortable with the bottle, not all Thai house even has no corkscrew.

IMHO

No ferfume

No electric device

Some sweet will do, what Thai people eat ater meal is better than chocolate.

Get another box and taste what you may bring first so you can answer that you know it is good.

Good relation with the girl is the davantage in itself, nothing can damage the situation seriously.

If the family know farang well, they will understand what you do.

If the family doesn't know farang well, they will think what you do is good in farang style.

- Best wish from a Thai guy.

[richard_smith237]

Nobody has mentioned a bottle of wine or 2?

Know your hosts, if that means asking your girlfriend for the appropriate item then do so. Also, even though we are in a foreign land I don't see why we can't bring some of our own culture along, so long as its not 'belching up your appreciation at the gourmet chickens feet'... I think wine or whiskey is a good choice.

For me... my girlfriends family drink wine, my girlfriend drinks wine and I drink wine... 2 bottles of Penfolds was fine. It's what I would take to dinner if I was visiting a girlfriends parents in my home country.

[teacup]

not all Thai house even has no corkscrew.

so true

but hey....if there's a will, there's a way

[bkkjames]

not all Thai house even has no corkscrew.

so true

but hey....if there's a will, there's a way

tell me then Mrs T, how do normally get the cork out of a long tube like object?

[piglet373]

do issan folk drink wine?

[teacup]

not all Thai house even has no corkscrew.

so true

but hey....if there's a will, there's a way

tell me then Mrs T, how do normally get the cork out of a long tube like object?

I have no will, so I have no way...err haha

May be once I'm "mrs T", I will ask "mr T"

[bkkjames]

not all Thai house even has no corkscrew.

so true

but hey....if there's a will, there's a way

tell me then Mrs T, how do normally get the cork out of a long tube like object?

I have no will, so I have no way...err haha

May be once I'm "mrs T", I will ask "mr T"

I can tell you this, if you cant find the will, there will be no Mrs T C or D Cup.

[teacup]

I can tell you this, if you cant find the will, there will be no Mrs T C or D Cup.

oh I will have a will to find "the will",

However it's not the will you're after here, but the "WILL" am after, ....as soon as I am "Mrs T"