<h4 class="middle">Found This Funny List:</h4>

The Gender Divide

Cell phone usage:

W: dial-out, mostly for receiving voice mail or text messaging

M: bilateral use and typically an appendage of the body

Returning e-mails and phone calls:

W: delay so as not to appear overeager, following The Rules

M: whenever they want, or when convenient

TV remote sleep timer:

W: don’t usually know how to use or even locate

M: standard operating procedure after ten p.m.

Movies about sports, violence, westerns, or slapstick comedy:

W: remotely interested, never repeat viewing, prefer a magazine

M: will watch over and over, in part or entirety, reciting key parts

Retail shopping:

W: for fun and bonding with friends, taking their time, browsing

M: out of necessity, typically alone, highly focused speed shopping

Dining out:

W: will never finish all the food on their plate

M: will clean their plate, then take aim at their date’s

Personal grooming:

W: haircut, color, style, manicures, pedicures

M: haircut only when absolutely required

Doctor visits: W: on a regular basis

M: emergency basis only

Home cleaning services:

W: tidy up prior to house cleaner arriving to avoid sloppy appearance

M: won’t clean up for weeks prior, avoiding even routine maintenance

Pillow talk/bedroom manner/carnal activities:

W: foreplay, sex, talk, hopefully more sex

M: foreplay, sex, uninterrupted sleep

Dressing:

W: looks and style

M: warmth and comfort

Constructive feedback on a woman’s comment, “Does this dress make me look fat?”

W: thinks “yes,” but says, “it’s not flattering to your figure”

M: thinks “your ass makes you look fat,” but states, “it looks okay”

Time required to get ready for a night out:

W: one hour minimum

M: five to fifteen minutes

Driving:

W: defensively

M: offensively

Online dating:

W: love, companionship, long-term prospects

M: quick candidates, weekend date, short-term rewards

32

Exercise: W: get in shape or remain fit, work to squeeze into one-size-smaller outfits, alternative social network

M: relieving competitive juices, bonding with the boys, staying in relative shape

Dancing:

W: dance to the rhythm of the song

M: move to the voices in their head

Decorating abode:

W: monthly, quarterly, or spontaneously

M: move-in and move-out dates

Changing the sheets:

W: weekly or after having guests

M: after someone points out that the top and bottom sheet stick together

Washing towels:

W: every other usage

M: every other month

Decorative pillows:

W: requisite for home décor

M: what are decorative pillows?

Shoe inventory:

W: one pair for each day of the year

M: one pair for each day of the week

Purchasing:

W: buy in bulk, thinking only of future requirements

M: buy as needed, thinking only of now

Dancing, Changing the sheets, and cleaning the towels are pretty funny.

Edited May 29, 200917 yr by MeetJohnDoe

Long List, I can relate to some, not most

huh. thought i posted in this one already.

I can relate to some, not most as well.

TBH I don't look at men as alien creatures to be deciphered, but I am starting to suspect that many men look at women this way considering how often these things get posted

huh. thought i posted in this one already.

I can relate to some, not most as well.

TBH I don't look at men as alien creatures to be deciphered, but I am starting to suspect that many men look at women this way considering how often these things get posted

There is a funny book on the subject... "Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars"

There has to be an element of truth before anything is funny. It's usually funny when we can relate to it personally and laugh at ourself. We ARE different creatures in many ways. It is evident even at an early age with children. Most of us get these sent to us on a regular basis as they circle the globe on the internet. I don't know who makes them up.

Oh, I am well aware of the differences, Ian. And celebrate most of them (ok husband hearing is a PIA )

But I am not as perplexed by men as men seem to be by women. I accept the differences, try to live with them as best I can and appreciate those differences that can make life so much fun

Oh, I am well aware of the differences, Ian. And celebrate most of them (ok husband hearing is a PIA )

But I am not as perplexed by men as men seem to be by women. I accept the differences, try to live with them as best I can and appreciate those differences that can make life so much fun

Probably what perplexes men the most is lack of understanding how women react to a simple question or statement. For the most part, men are straight forward. If they want to know something they don't have an ulterior motive. They just ask the question. Many women read something into a statement that isn't there. Men just aren't that deep.

How can a man truthfully answer a question from his wife or girl friend when she asks "Do I look fat in this dress?" Unfortunately, men often don't think before they reply.

Women can be just as hurtful to men and I've seen it ruin many marriages. Many times I've heard women make nasty comments to their husband in public. A man's ego can be a fragile thing and a nasty comment in public by the wife or girl friend is a sure fire method in killing a relationship.

Oh, I am well aware of the differences, Ian. And celebrate most of them (ok husband hearing is a PIA )

But I am not as perplexed by men as men seem to be by women. I accept the differences, try to live with them as best I can and appreciate those differences that can make life so much fun

Probably what perplexes men the most is lack of understanding how women react to a simple question or statement. For the most part, men are straight forward. If they want to know something they don't have an ulterior motive. They just ask the question. Many women read something into a statement that isn't there. Men just aren't that deep.

How can a man truthfully answer a question from his wife or girl friend when she asks "Do I look fat in this dress?" Unfortunately, men often don't think before they reply.

Women can be just as hurtful to men and I've seen it ruin many marriages. Many times I've heard women make nasty comments to their husband in public. A man's ego can be a fragile thing and a nasty comment in public by the wife or girl friend is a sure fire method in killing a relationship.

yes, and so can women's egos. I often see men treat their wives badly and inconsiderately and then go on to complain when she doesn't kiss their ass. Respect is a two way street and you have to remind yourself, when you see these women make these comments, that you cannot possibly know what is going on in their lives and their relationships for them to do this.

I TELL his butt to be a man, do as I ask, and treat me like a lady……I don’t take no for an answer coz I am the one who will one day have his child dam_n it..!!!

Err…in short

I’m from Nakorn Venus, but luckily he’s not from Mar….

So I just told him to see the same eye-to-eye with me….no problems so far

And

It’s not like we want to kill each other everyday or something,…. doh just “every-other-day” tho......

Muahahahaha