I Feel Like A Mouse Led Into A Trap.

[a2396]

No doubt Thai women and their families are nuts when it comes to this stuff. There is no rational thought process whatsoever. They talk out of both sides of their mouth, change direction in mid-sentance, etc, etc. the list goes on forever. Most want a quick marrage to a Farang, because they think it means money. It is bad enough dealing with the woman alone, but add in the family & common sense goes out the window. I have had several encounters of a similar nature, but not quite so ominious. I guess I shouldn't complain about my current one, who said from the beginning she doesn't want to get married. I have met her Mother a few times and the issue has never come up. BUT, there are many drawbacks to that relationship, mostly becasue of her keeping me at "arms length". I have been looking for an alternative, but not easy. The latest interviewee wanted to take me to meet her family (this after the second meeting). I told her I am not in any hurry to get married, if ever. I told her not to expect that i will take care of the family or provide "lump-sum" money. I'm waitning to see how it turns out.

[Datsun240Z]

I'm waitning to see how it turns out.

*Shotgun Wedding*

[cognos]

No doubt Thai women and their families are nuts when it comes to this stuff. There is no rational thought process whatsoever. They talk out of both sides of their mouth, change direction in mid-sentance, etc, etc. the list goes on forever. Most want a quick marrage to a Farang, because they think it means money. It is bad enough dealing with the woman alone, but add in the family & common sense goes out the window. I have had several encounters of a similar nature, but not quite so ominious. I guess I shouldn't complain about my current one, who said from the beginning she doesn't want to get married. I have met her Mother a few times and the issue has never come up. BUT, there are many drawbacks to that relationship, mostly becasue of her keeping me at "arms length". I have been looking for an alternative, but not easy. The latest interviewee wanted to take me to meet her family (this after the second meeting). I told her I am not in any hurry to get married, if ever. I told her not to expect that i will take care of the family or provide "lump-sum" money. I'm waitning to see how it turns out.

i should keep a copy of responses like this and others here for a book called " Typical farang in LOS " .. because the book would attempt to answer the question: WHY so many farang in LOS WANT and NEED to ONLY persue the women who seem to be on the make, or take , or whatever..then complain about it??? This is good, because there are many LOVELY thai women who are not on the take, and many of you guys NEVER bother with them. We appreciate that. Signed: the other half who don't need to complain ( and if anything..getting more than they give)

[abdulrahman]

i should keep a copy of responses like this and others here for a book called " Typical farang in LOS " .. because the book would attempt to answer the question: WHY so many farang in LOS WANT and NEED to ONLY persue the women who seem to be on the make, or take , or whatever..then complain about it??? This is good, because there are many LOVELY thai women who are not on the take, and many of you guys NEVER bother with them. We appreciate that. Signed: the other half who don't need to complain ( and if anything..getting more than they give)

Lovely?Maybe.Fat,ugly or outright dumb is a better definition.

A young,beautiful Thai girl/woman knows her worth,she knows yours too,most times.

Want to pay the price?No,not after divorce,as in the West,in advance!

Could end up with a partner for life or with a b***h that let you dry.

At home,is it different?

[Harcourt]

In many ways I find this an amusing morning but it does have its serious side.

Having now returned from the new lady friend's mothers house, I am feeling wary and somewhat bemused.

The lady in question has seen me for the last 4 days.(She is on 10 days holiday). Day 3 we went to bed and made love after she asked me if I want to 'make babies'. I did not take it literally - more fool I.

But the condoms I had purchased a while ago were too darn small. So in the height of passion we made love anyway (yes, yes, I can hear some say,' You should not have.') But when you are both naked in bed and fully aroused......

Anyway, she is happy the condom did not fit. Tells me now she is hoping we will have a baby. Refuses the 'morning after' pill.

Wants more of the same so we can make babies.

Looks like a Vasectomy for me

Now to the other part.

After the long awaited dinner at mothers, I am at the mother's house this morning for a full discussion, at their request. And to make sure all is understood by all parties involved I have a trusted lady friend with me who speaks English / Thai fluently. I have been here before with a lack of understanding by one party or another. I wanted no mistakes this time in translation.

On the one hand Mother tells me she is happy to give me her daughter. Wants no money. Nothing. Even tells the daughter she can move in with me now and do her own laundry at my house. (This is a family that has money. Have houses. Has land. Family that has good shops in BKK, Pattaya and other places, also salons that make money. Sisters educated at University.) Not the sort of reaction I was expecting from the mother, to be honest.

The daughter explains she does not want a house, a car, land, a m/c from me. Wants nothing but honesty, monogamy and love from me. Wants to pay her own way and for WE to share and buy things together. Wants we to have a shop or similar to make a few Baht. That she is not like the 'other women' I have known.

This sounds too good to be true. Have I found myself a woman who is not 'on the make' ?

LOL An hour later the discussion takes a new turn.

Mother wants to know when will I marry her daughter? How much will I give to marry the daughter?

Wait a minute!!

Earlier she says she will give me her daughter for nothing. Now asks how much for her daughter.

Over the course of the next hour the subject of marriage is brought up so many times it is incredible. Yet I have seen the daughter a total of 6 times.

I explain that it takes time for love to develop. Takes time to know someone. Takes time to have trust.

'You no love my daughter?'

'You like have sex with my daughter, why you no make marry?'

What?

Seems the daughter has told mother we made love the other day. Not only that, she has proudly told her father and her sisters that we made love.

Whatever happened to discretion? Is love making not something that is kept reasonably quiet about, or at least not shouted from the rooftops to the whole family the same day it happens?

I thought it was only some Farang men in Farang Land who bragged like that.

Now the discussion turns to babies. How many babies will we have? Mother likes being a grandmother. Takes care of 3 babies now and wants more around. Wants our babies to care for.

Next thing I know I am holding the youngest one. Oscar. 2 months old. <deleted>??? Are they trying to get my male maternal instincts going or something?

This is not some 20 year old woman we are talking about. She is a very beautiful 32 year old with a 13 year old son. Works for her sister in BKK but desperately wants to move back to he home town yet there is little work.

Her husband died in a car accident after 5 years of marriage and mother says that I am the first boyfriend to set foot in mothers house since.

Thankfully the mechanic phoned and said he needed to see me about my car. It was a good excuse to have to leave.

As I said, I am feeling somewhat bemused at the moment.

On the one hand I feel like a mouse led into a trap, yet on the other hand......

Opinions?

welcome to true local culture

your next bill will be for the buffalo root canal

ask her to take some viteman supplements with a little "extra" inside ( careful of the doseage- you would have to pay out more if you killed her- but the fmaily would probabaly like that! consult a sympathic doctor) in them which will prevent the birth

she soulds like a a girl on the make, like most, cannot blame them, but do not buy into it

google the stuff you need to stop adding to the population

and again, careful that dosage

Joes125, even if that was said in jest, it's in very poor taste to advocate surreptitious poisoning of a person. Downright illegal and dangerous....albeit I can empathise with the situation....women have been nabbing men in this way throughout history and the world,... but it still took 2 to tango in the first place, and there's no excuse to administer a drug without the person's knowledge.

[joes125]

In many ways I find this an amusing morning but it does have its serious side.

Having now returned from the new lady friend's mothers house, I am feeling wary and somewhat bemused.

The lady in question has seen me for the last 4 days.(She is on 10 days holiday). Day 3 we went to bed and made love after she asked me if I want to 'make babies'. I did not take it literally - more fool I.

But the condoms I had purchased a while ago were too darn small. So in the height of passion we made love anyway (yes, yes, I can hear some say,' You should not have.') But when you are both naked in bed and fully aroused......

Anyway, she is happy the condom did not fit. Tells me now she is hoping we will have a baby. Refuses the 'morning after' pill.

Wants more of the same so we can make babies.

Looks like a Vasectomy for me

Now to the other part.

After the long awaited dinner at mothers, I am at the mother's house this morning for a full discussion, at their request. And to make sure all is understood by all parties involved I have a trusted lady friend with me who speaks English / Thai fluently. I have been here before with a lack of understanding by one party or another. I wanted no mistakes this time in translation.

On the one hand Mother tells me she is happy to give me her daughter. Wants no money. Nothing. Even tells the daughter she can move in with me now and do her own laundry at my house. (This is a family that has money. Have houses. Has land. Family that has good shops in BKK, Pattaya and other places, also salons that make money. Sisters educated at University.) Not the sort of reaction I was expecting from the mother, to be honest.

The daughter explains she does not want a house, a car, land, a m/c from me. Wants nothing but honesty, monogamy and love from me. Wants to pay her own way and for WE to share and buy things together. Wants we to have a shop or similar to make a few Baht. That she is not like the 'other women' I have known.

This sounds too good to be true. Have I found myself a woman who is not 'on the make' ?

LOL An hour later the discussion takes a new turn.

Mother wants to know when will I marry her daughter? How much will I give to marry the daughter?

Wait a minute!!

Earlier she says she will give me her daughter for nothing. Now asks how much for her daughter.

Over the course of the next hour the subject of marriage is brought up so many times it is incredible. Yet I have seen the daughter a total of 6 times.

I explain that it takes time for love to develop. Takes time to know someone. Takes time to have trust.

'You no love my daughter?'

'You like have sex with my daughter, why you no make marry?'

What?

Seems the daughter has told mother we made love the other day. Not only that, she has proudly told her father and her sisters that we made love.

Whatever happened to discretion? Is love making not something that is kept reasonably quiet about, or at least not shouted from the rooftops to the whole family the same day it happens?

I thought it was only some Farang men in Farang Land who bragged like that.

Now the discussion turns to babies. How many babies will we have? Mother likes being a grandmother. Takes care of 3 babies now and wants more around. Wants our babies to care for.

Next thing I know I am holding the youngest one. Oscar. 2 months old. <deleted>??? Are they trying to get my male maternal instincts going or something?

This is not some 20 year old woman we are talking about. She is a very beautiful 32 year old with a 13 year old son. Works for her sister in BKK but desperately wants to move back to he home town yet there is little work.

Her husband died in a car accident after 5 years of marriage and mother says that I am the first boyfriend to set foot in mothers house since.

Thankfully the mechanic phoned and said he needed to see me about my car. It was a good excuse to have to leave.

As I said, I am feeling somewhat bemused at the moment.

On the one hand I feel like a mouse led into a trap, yet on the other hand......

Opinions?

welcome to true local culture

your next bill will be for the buffalo root canal

ask her to take some viteman supplements with a little "extra" inside ( careful of the doseage- you would have to pay out more if you killed her- but the fmaily would probabaly like that! consult a sympathic doctor) in them which will prevent the birth

she soulds like a a girl on the make, like most, cannot blame them, but do not buy into it

google the stuff you need to stop adding to the population

and again, careful that dosage

Joes125, even if that was said in jest, it's in very poor taste to advocate surreptitious poisoning of a person. Downright illegal and dangerous....albeit I can empathise with the situation....women have been nabbing men in this way throughout history and the world,... but it still took 2 to tango in the first place, and there's no excuse to administer a drug without the person's knowledge.

yes, its a bit drastic, but when you think of all the unwanted/uncared for kids here

its not poisoning a person , it destroys the pregnancy not the lady

apparently she will feel a little sick for a few hours,but thats about it

as for the legal issues, i cannot see there being any big problem,

sad case

[neverdie]

Next chapter....G54 takes the bus upcountry with a three legged sheep to meet its parents

OK now that was funny.

Your obviously one very sick perverted unit if ur laughing at my jokes & best we NOT meet up next time ur in Bangers, could end up rather nasty

A 3 legged sheep? Now that is kinky. I like kinky. Can't beat a bit of sheepshaggin

I didnt realise you were a Kiwi G54

[Harcourt]

Joes125....you miss my point! Whatever the motive, you can't just take it into you own hands to administer a drug to a person without their consent.

Kiwi here, too.

[Harcourt]

That would make you an Ozzy nevr?

[hhgz]

"On the one hand I feel like a mouse led into a trap, yet on the other hand......Opinions?"

Only a few questions. How old are you? When do you expect to take responsibility for the things you do and say? Do you plan to live the rest of your life taking a poll of strangers anytime you get stuck?

[joes125]

In many ways I find this an amusing morning but it does have its serious side.

Having now returned from the new lady friend's mothers house, I am feeling wary and somewhat bemused.

The lady in question has seen me for the last 4 days.(She is on 10 days holiday). Day 3 we went to bed and made love after she asked me if I want to 'make babies'. I did not take it literally - more fool I.

But the condoms I had purchased a while ago were too darn small. So in the height of passion we made love anyway (yes, yes, I can hear some say,' You should not have.') But when you are both naked in bed and fully aroused......

Anyway, she is happy the condom did not fit. Tells me now she is hoping we will have a baby. Refuses the 'morning after' pill.

Wants more of the same so we can make babies.

Looks like a Vasectomy for me

Now to the other part.

After the long awaited dinner at mothers, I am at the mother's house this morning for a full discussion, at their request. And to make sure all is understood by all parties involved I have a trusted lady friend with me who speaks English / Thai fluently. I have been here before with a lack of understanding by one party or another. I wanted no mistakes this time in translation.

On the one hand Mother tells me she is happy to give me her daughter. Wants no money. Nothing. Even tells the daughter she can move in with me now and do her own laundry at my house. (This is a family that has money. Have houses. Has land. Family that has good shops in BKK, Pattaya and other places, also salons that make money. Sisters educated at University.) Not the sort of reaction I was expecting from the mother, to be honest.

The daughter explains she does not want a house, a car, land, a m/c from me. Wants nothing but honesty, monogamy and love from me. Wants to pay her own way and for WE to share and buy things together. Wants we to have a shop or similar to make a few Baht. That she is not like the 'other women' I have known.

This sounds too good to be true. Have I found myself a woman who is not 'on the make' ?

LOL An hour later the discussion takes a new turn.

Mother wants to know when will I marry her daughter? How much will I give to marry the daughter?

Wait a minute!!

Earlier she says she will give me her daughter for nothing. Now asks how much for her daughter.

Over the course of the next hour the subject of marriage is brought up so many times it is incredible. Yet I have seen the daughter a total of 6 times.

I explain that it takes time for love to develop. Takes time to know someone. Takes time to have trust.

'You no love my daughter?'

'You like have sex with my daughter, why you no make marry?'

What?

Seems the daughter has told mother we made love the other day. Not only that, she has proudly told her father and her sisters that we made love.

Whatever happened to discretion? Is love making not something that is kept reasonably quiet about, or at least not shouted from the rooftops to the whole family the same day it happens?

I thought it was only some Farang men in Farang Land who bragged like that.

Now the discussion turns to babies. How many babies will we have? Mother likes being a grandmother. Takes care of 3 babies now and wants more around. Wants our babies to care for.

Next thing I know I am holding the youngest one. Oscar. 2 months old. <deleted>??? Are they trying to get my male maternal instincts going or something?

This is not some 20 year old woman we are talking about. She is a very beautiful 32 year old with a 13 year old son. Works for her sister in BKK but desperately wants to move back to he home town yet there is little work.

Her husband died in a car accident after 5 years of marriage and mother says that I am the first boyfriend to set foot in mothers house since.

Thankfully the mechanic phoned and said he needed to see me about my car. It was a good excuse to have to leave.

As I said, I am feeling somewhat bemused at the moment.

On the one hand I feel like a mouse led into a trap, yet on the other hand......

Opinions?

Personally I think you are very lucky

You have the opportunity to marry into a good family, but you also have had the 'rules' spelt out. I wish it had been as easy in my own case, it took quite a while for me to discover some of the above. On top of that my own 'host family' turned about to be somewhat less 'well off' than they liked to pretend, and very willing to ask for assistance.

Finally my wife, whom I love but with whom I desperately wanted to have children; did everything possible to avoid ever becoming pregnant until it was just too late. Her private history partly explains her reasons, but the duplicity of Thais [Chinese in her case] is awesome to behold; at least it is to me.

Good luck with your future, I think you are truly fortunate.

good family...???

I suppose you are mourning jacksons death too

let me look at my dictionary -

good family= mentaly imbalanced, out on the make, as discreet a hammer in the head,controlling mother

oh, that my thai dictionary,

[joes125]

Joes125....you miss my point! Whatever the motive, you can't just take it into you own hands to administer a drug to a person without their consent.

Kiwi here, too.

you right, its not a good policy but in this case i would make an exeption

[Datsun240Z]

That has to be the best response I've ever seen on an internet forum. Sir, I salute you!

Personally Polecat, me thinks u should of used a picture of a concord, something a bit faster than your standard passenger jet.

Even better than Concorde!! :

[calmichael]

Thankfully the mechanic phoned and said he needed to see me about my car.

Was the repair cost within the estimate?

How does it run now?

Keep the car if it runs well.

Trade the girl.

[ozzieovaseas]

Quote the OP : As I said, I am feeling somewhat bemused at the moment.

On the one hand I feel like a mouse led into a trap, yet on the other hand......

Opinions? " Unquote

Is it this kind of mousetrap?

haha...love your work carib.....thats a crackup

[rinpoche]

Also, you should be a bit worried about the "make babies" comment and then lo and behold make love without a condom. Guess what, she may have done her calculations and you may be on the way to being a daddy.

Or she may be pregnant already.

[Datsun240Z]

My GF's reaction to this ( With all respect ) : We don't understand the Thai way. It's normal to give the family money or gold in return for their daughter, it secures them for the future.

[abdulrahman]

My GF's reaction to this ( With all respect ) : We don't understand the Thai way. It's normal to give the family money or gold in return for their daughter, it secures them for the future.

You mean:since the Thai "culture"dictates that a daughter has to take care of her elderly parents,whatever the

cost,not only monetary,for her,money and gold in exchange for a lifelong maid?

Were it so simple,worth the expense,maybe!

[GraBangkok]

FEED ME.....

[rinpoche]

My GF's reaction to this ( With all respect ) : We don't understand the Thai way. It's normal to give the family money or gold in return for their daughter, it secures them for the future.

My wife (Thai) has a very different reaction. Money is beside the point. "Good Thai girls from good families don't act this way."

Most would be quite reluctant to let their daughter marry a foreigner until they know him well .... unless they are desperately in need of money.

[Datsun240Z]

My GF's reaction to this ( With all respect ) : We don't understand the Thai way. It's normal to give the family money or gold in return for their daughter, it secures them for the future.

You mean:since the Thai "culture"dictates that a daughter has to take care of her elderly parents,whatever the

cost,not only monetary,for her,money and gold in exchange for a lifelong maid?

Were it so simple,worth the expense,maybe!

Wait, I'm not allowed to tell the truth, we all love his majesty the king.

Ontopic: she went with me to The Netherlands on her own decision, although she cried on the phone, guess parents said: NO. But now once she got back, the influence of parents seem to strong. I feel sorry for the girl.

[rinpoche]

Ontopic: she went with me to The Netherlands on her own decision, although she cried on the phone, guess parents said: NO. But now once she got back, the influence of parents seem to strong. I feel sorry for the girl.

If he's a Thai picked by the girl, decent parents are likely to conduct extensive background checks on the guy and his family before they approve of the relationship. With foreigners, the answer is usually a flat no. This is perhaps why the Thai women most available to foreigners aren't exactly good role models.

[Datsun240Z]

Ontopic: she went with me to The Netherlands on her own decision, although she cried on the phone, guess parents said: NO. But now once she got back, the influence of parents seem to strong. I feel sorry for the girl.

If he's a Thai picked by the girl, decent parents are likely to conduct extensive background checks on the guy and his family before they approve of the relationship. With foreigners, the answer is usually a flat no. This is perhaps why the Thai women most available to foreigners aren't exactly good role models.

Thanks, now in normal english please?

[G54]

My GF's reaction to this ( With all respect ) : We don't understand the Thai way. It's normal to give the family money or gold in return for their daughter, it secures them for the future.

Yet, a Thai man might give 20 - 40,000 and a couple of Baht gold for a woman previously married.

That from good and honest Thai woman I know well. Yet we are expected to stump up huge amounts. Why?

We are Farang? We are rich?

One comment the mother made was about Farang have a big book bank. 'He can put the house in your name.'

No chance. Leave that to the fools. A Thai man will save alongside his g/f to buy a house. Wht should we be any different?

Anyway, this is ongoing.......

[Datsun240Z]

My GF's reaction to this ( With all respect ) : We don't understand the Thai way. It's normal to give the family money or gold in return for their daughter, it secures them for the future.

Yet, a Thai man might give 20 - 40,000 and a couple of Baht gold for a woman previously married.

That from good and honest Thai woman I know well. Yet we are expected to stump up huge amounts. Why?

We are Farang? We are rich?

One comment the mother made was about Farang have a big book bank. 'He can put the house in your name.'

No chance. Leave that to the fools. A Thai man will save alongside his g/f to buy a house. Wht should we be any different?

Anyway, this is ongoing.......

I've heared about prices up to 200,000 Baht , new car whatever. JEEZ!!

G54: Why is it always the beautiful woman, in the places with the most harsh conditions? Now I know very well of my girlfriend not wanting to put me trough this, but since it are her parents she has to show loyalty. I can understand, but with that insane policies.... NO

Edited June 29, 2009 by Datsun240Z

[MrHammer]

How many years younger are these girls OP?

I don't have these problems, but it's pretty obvious that I can't afford a house or dowry anytime soon as a student.

I am with you though, sounds like you're having fun.

Play on player!

[Jimjim]

Opinions? I'd rather not know all the silly details of your sex life and I would advise you not to post a bunch of nonsense like this here. Surely you can figure it out, that you should start running now. Is that not obvious? Unless you stupidly impregnated her, then you'd be horrible to run. So, make sure on that and get the H out of that relationship.

[samran]

this thread is a case of the blind leading the blind.