Why Are Westerners (men) So Focused On Sex?

[Soulwy]

First of all: This topic is not to bash at the Western man, at all.

Ok, what I wonder:

In the last month I was in Asia I spent a couple of days with Philipinos and an Indonesian guy.

They were both considerate and treated me like their sister. They never asked me something sexual or even flirt with me.

I also met men from mostly Europe, from 23-70, and they were the opposite. They asked me quite personal stuff, trying to find out if I was lonely and needed a man. Making sexually oriented comments/jokes which made me feel nervous and tired. They liked to talk about -sex-.

Of course I shouldn't generalize, men are men, no matter where they are from. But I noticed the difference and I'd like to hear some sounds from different perspectives (especially from women)

My relationships were with great Western men, and my best male friends are from the West, so no frustrations on that part at all.

[thesunset75]

They have enough sister maybe ?

[jackdanielsesq]

Why not?!

BR>Jack

[Gerontion]

It could be that western societies are hyper-sexualised and Asian ones aren't. Or it could be utterly random and the next Indonesian guy you meet will be a sex-crazed loony while the next European one will be utterly asexual in his outlook.

[villagefarang]

In general the ones who focus on sex the most, are the ones who get it the least. Sex is only an issue if you're not getting any.

[Carib]

They are just very frustrated by their western upbringing and therefor sex graving bstards.

They were made to think that sex is the only way of communication and they are god`s gift to spreading that word in this way.

All other ways of trying to communicate with woman are just pathetic attempts to avoid the question about sex in a straight and direct way. It usually is about very uninteresting and boring subjects like football baseball, stock markets, job success, and lost loves.

This is the category men who jumps after they find out their willy's don't do the job anymore, it was just about the only thing they thought they could rely on, and life gets very empty and uncertain after finding out that the way of spreading the word will be a difficult and nerve wrecking one.

Don't think any further, it really doesn't come any easier than this answer.

[TexasRanger]

Balls hormones and genetics. Case for the defense.

[cdnvic]

I think the western men you are mixing with or coming into contact with may be skewing your perception. Also, in Asian cultures it's just not talked about so openly, but it's there.

No man in China ever had concubines to help with the dishes.

[dave_boo]

Apparently you have a large sample size for 'westerners' and an exceedingly small sample size for 'asians'. I know that in the area of Thailand that I call home the locals are as, on a generalised whole, as wicked as I am and have even made me blush a couple of times with their crassness.

[Gaccha]

Of course I shouldn't generalize, men are men, no matter where they are from.

55555+

That reminds me of Tony Blair:

“A day like today is not a day for soundbites, we can leave those at home, but I feel the hand of history upon our shoulder with respect to this, I really do.”

As for answering your core point. The answer you seek is to be found in any issue of Cosmo. And the correct answer requires a reading of evolutionary psychology, an awareness of biological reductionism.

Think. Why should people talkiing about sex make you tired. Cui bono? The answer is found within your presumptive logic.

[JohnGotti]

OP, sounds like you are looking for attention?

Edited June 30, 2009 by JohnGotti

[Soulwy]

I think the western men you are mixing with or coming into contact with may be skewing your perception. Also, in Asian cultures it's just not talked about so openly, but it's there.

No man in China ever had concubines to help with the dishes.

Dave Boo:

"Apparently you have a large sample size for 'westerners' and an exceedingly small sample size for 'asians'. I know that in the area of Thailand that I call home the locals are as, on a generalised whole, as wicked as I am and have even made me blush a couple of times with their crassness.

Very true Dave.

Carib:

"They are just very frustrated by their western upbringing and therefor sex graving bstards.

They were made to think that sex is the only way of communication and they are god`s gift to spreading that word in this way. "

Could be Carib...

but the link with impotency...I can't agree with you on that. But maybe don't know enough about this...

I think also Asians are better not showing what they need, feel.

[Checker]

Why Are Westerners (men) So Focused On Sex?

Just lucky I guess . . . . . .

[Moonrakers]

I think that there may have been a hint of sarcasm in 'Caribs' post Soulwy.

Besides, two things spring to mind here:

1) Could you be flattering yourself a bit here or maybe even being a bit flirty? I don't know of too many men who start getting strong with somebody that they barely know, except for after a few drinks maybe.

2) Who says that the Asian men aren't thinking of sex? They could just be trying to smooth talk their way into your knickers.

Edited June 30, 2009 by Moonrakers

[Birdman]

Many average Asians are dreaming of Western females, but don't expect ever to come in contact with one. So if that rare occasion happens, Western woman would be treated respectfully. Sometimes even like a trophy.

Once a beautiful young, blond German female asked a Thai, who happened to be with us that evening and stayed not far away from her resort, to give her a lift back to the bungalow. He was totally astounded by that direct request. Next day she told me, that he drove very slowly, so that everybody could see them and he made side-trip, stopped here and there to speak with friends and others, again only to show her...

[Moonrakers]

Many average Asians are dreaming of Western females, but don't expect ever to come in contact with one. So if that rare occasion happens, Western woman would be treated respectfully. Sometimes even like a trophy.

Once a beautiful young, blond German female asked a Thai, who happened to be with us that evening and stayed not far away from her resort, to give her a lift back to the bungalow. He was totally astounded by that direct request. Next day she told me, that he drove very slowly, so that everybody could see them and he made side-trip, stopped here and there to speak with friends and others, again only to show her...

I don't doubt you.

However, the beach boys on Koh (insert name) know how to get to business. They don't waste any time letting their intentions known.

[SantiSuk]

Many of the Western men who come to Thailand have a higher sex-drive than average - they know that Thailand is a cheap place for sex so they come here. What you see is an unrepresentative sample of Western men. I don't know whether the same theory holds good for Asian men coming to Thailand.

No value judgements intended!

[Birdman]

Many of the Western men who come to Thailand have a higher sex-drive than average - they know that Thailand is a cheap place for sex so they come here. What you see is an unrepresentative sample of Western men. I don't know whether the same theory holds good for Asian men coming to Thailand.

No value judgements intended!

hahaha, what a rubbish nonsense.

[slapout]

Those western men may have been responding to the op's manner of dress, conversation, or body language.I am a western male and I have many lady friends I have never hit on. Others, though actions and innuendo seem to be looking for compliments, come ons, and/or propositions from most of the males they come in contact with. Granted I cannot put numbers or percentages to this but neither did the op.

[maxjay]

First of all: This topic is not to bash at the Western man, at all...

Of course I shouldn't generalize, men are men, no matter where they are from....

My relationships were with great Western men, and my best male friends are from the West, so no frustrations on that part at all.

Well there you go...as you said: "men are men". And, as you also said: "and my best male friends are from the West". Then you should already know the answer.

However, I'll let writer, Nora Ephron (a woman), explain from one of my favorite movies, "When Harry Met Sally", This is a conversation between Harry and Sally:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098635/quotes

<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000345/">Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.

Sally Albright: Why not?

Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

Harry Burns: No you don't.

Sally Albright: Yes I do.

Harry Burns: No you don't.

Sally Albright: Yes I do.

Harry Burns: You only think you do.

Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.

Sally Albright: They do not.

Harry Burns: Do too.

Sally Albright: They do not.

Harry Burns: Do too.

Sally Albright: How do you know?

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?

Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Harry Burns: I guess not.

Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Do we really need to continue this topic on...?

Edited June 30, 2009 by maxjay

[Gaccha]

I think this will shine a light on this issue for you:

The Ladder theory:

"Ladder theory teaches that differences between the "one-ladder" ranking system of men and the "two-ladder" ranking system of women often lead to mutual misunderstanding, the most egregious example of which is purported to be the so-called "nice guy" approach. In this model, a man attempts to increase his appeal to a woman by demonstrating the qualities she has indicated that she values in another person (stereotypically, these are positive "friendship" qualities such as patience, kindness, helpfulness and consolation). To the male, this is perceived as simply increasing his overall appeal on the single ladder; for the female, however, such behaviour increases the man's rank on the "Friendship" ladder while simultaneously decreasing it on the "Partner" ladder, due to the perceived disparity in criteria between the ladders." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory)

[Datsun240Z]

Many average Asians are dreaming of Western females, but don't expect ever to come in contact with one. So if that rare occasion happens, Western woman would be treated respectfully. Sometimes even like a trophy.

Once a beautiful young, blond German female asked a Thai, who happened to be with us that evening and stayed not far away from her resort, to give her a lift back to the bungalow. He was totally astounded by that direct request. Next day she told me, that he drove very slowly, so that everybody could see them and he made side-trip, stopped here and there to speak with friends and others, again only to show her...

While many western man are dreaming of asian ladies ( Not the one, who haven't discoverd it yet )

It's same same, like we tend to get brown in the sun, while asian use whitening cream and avoid the sun.

[bloody tiger]

I had sex once, but there was no such thing as the internet back then, so i didn't get the chance to brag about it

[t.s]

Those western men may have been responding to the op's manner of dress, conversation, or body language.I am a western male and I have many lady friends I have never hit on. Others, though actions and innuendo seem to be looking for compliments, come ons, and/or propositions from most of the males they come in contact with. Granted I cannot put numbers or percentages to this but neither did the op.

or, perhaps she is just plain hot.

[anothertorres]

i love stereotypes. hang on, let me go ask my wife what's wrong with me...

[getgoin]

I have always found that Thai women have an unusually large sex drive and enjoy sex. Some western women like it but most tolerate it or demonize it. Good thing we can be in a country where the western men love to have sex and the Thai women love it also. Works out well.

[dave111223]

Strange how many nudy bars they have in Asia; for a Continent of men who are not interested in sex.

[Texpat]

Maybe your Asian boy friends were too busy winking at each other to even notice you.

[TheLaughingMan]

Culturally men may act visibly different but deep down they are all the same. They all want to have sex with every semi attractive woman they see. Western women are naive, they think polite behaviour doesnt actually = "GAWD I HOPE I GET TO BONE MY HOT FRIEND LATER, MAYBE IF I KEEP MOWING HER LAWN EVERY WEEK SHE'LL EVENTUALLY PUT OUT!" Of course that makes men naive too, they really think doing all these "friend" things might one day lead to sex, so stupid.

[cpofc]

Oh my buddha! Where do we start? Have you ever thought that you may be meeting the wrong westerners?

But I guess, you are correct in that many things have gone to influence many a whiteman's perception of Asian women. The media is by far the worst culprit. My Thai wife of 24 years used to complain bitterly, especially in the early days of our marriage, that the only thing the Australian media ever said about thailand, was either drugs or sex! The worst part about it, she was correct. Then there was the period of the infamous 'Mail Order Bride', although predominantly Phillipino in those days, it didn't make much difference to the average Aussie bloke who saw most Asians as the same, similary as thais see farangs. Have a look at the famous Australian Cult Classic Movie - 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert', you will see what i mean. Also the illegal sex slave trade out of asia that receives banner headlines every time it gets exposed, doesn't do much for people's perceptions. The girls faces are asian, and their plight is made known to the world.

For alot of the more 'unwordly' farangs it's a case of 'Asian girls are easy!'

You could talk about this subject until the desert freezes over and the camels come skating home. But do you think Thai men don't have sex on their minds? I drink with my Thai mates very, very often, and whilst football is popular too, and cars; sex is always a big favourite. Sometimes I am quite taken aback with the things they discuss in mixed company. Including watching the latest XXX movie clip on Tons you bewt Nokia, passing it around as we all have a drink, including wives and girlfriends! Thais are the world's 5th largest viewers of porn!!!

it comes down to being a gentleman. Manners and upbringing and behaving accordingly. I don't find it too difficult. After all I know I can always pop down to the local starting stalls should my desires get the better of me.

In advertising there is an old saying

Sex sells.

They don't say it for nothing.

Why do Thai girls spend so much time on themselves and their dress and bearing. Because they want to be sexy. Right? to look sexy for who? Their mothers? Why do Thai men always want to watch cam frog and coyote girls gyrating at the Bangkok Auto show? Why do many Thai men have mia nois?

In 2007, the estimated value of the pornography industry worldwide was US$97 billion

It is not just white men, the whole damned world has become besotted with sex.

The best you can do is arm yourself with a few witty comebacks when they hit on you and seek out a better class of white man, they do exist!.