sassienie Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 (edited) Hey all i have not been on in some time but wanted to ask? My gf and I want to get married sounds nice huh however for a Dowry her family ask for $15,000 USD .... hmmm I dont want to pay this will take a lifetime to get and she has not even finished school!!! Well she droped out really. so Im asking what is too much and what is right? what would you give out.....? "My gfand I want to get married sounds nice huh". No not really. "her family ask for $15,000". Why in US Dollars and not Thai Baht. Are they Cambodian ? "I dont want to pay this". You've already decided on what you want to do, so why ask ? "What is too much".Anything that is being asked of, in my opinion. "What is right". That is a tough one. That one you can decide on. "What would you give out". Nothing. As someone stated, she and her family, stand to gain by just being married to you, in one way or the other. AN INCREDIBLY BRILLIENT POST. Just about sums up the whole sin-sod charade. Edited September 17, 2009 by sassienie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsetBkk Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Funny how we only hear from the people who (say) they have not or will not pay anything. I suppose all the guys who paid a million baht and didn't get a satang back are living happily with their beloveds. Come on guys, you know who you are - come clean and tell us your story. As for the pinned thread ( http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Sin-Sod-Expl...st&p=915637 ), it's not much use at all as it's simply two posts of relatively opposing ideas. Pointless, IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlander76 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 This is far too much, her family is taking the p!ss mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukrules Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 $15,000 seems extortionate. It is, if he pays them that they will only want more once it runs out. If I were in this situation I'd make it clear that freeloaders are not welcome and pay them nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 nearly forgetting the 18carrot 4crt diamond ring for her. I think you also forgot the terms "total weight" or "synthetic." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricksomchai Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 give us more info.meet in bar? how many kids w how many dads? up country or downcountry girl? pretty or the usuall kind? etc.... personally i dont think the family will want you if you think 15k$ is too mut! She works in a bank. And they met on internet 3 years ago. He has been here to see her 3 times. One of them was for 3 months. And he wants to bring her to USA. At least this is what he says in other threads in July 2009. And the OP has started 2-3 thread with more or less the same topic. well you know its always good to see what others think in this matter... i have see some things on the net saying to pay more...... but never the less i think 3000 USD should be ok im just worried to offend the family if im wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricksomchai Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Hey all i have not been on in some time but wanted to ask? My gf and I want to get married sounds nice huh however for a Dowry her family ask for $15,000 USD .... hmmm I dont want to pay this will take a lifetime to get and she has not even finished school!!! Well she droped out really. so Im asking what is too much and what is right? what would you give out.....? I don't like this dowry scam (unless it's like in India where they pay you to take her off their hands) but I know it's a face thing here. But half a million baht for what. Ask yourself a few questions first, how long have you known her, what was she working at when you met her, what is the social status of here parents, is she an only child, why did she drop out of school, has she already got a child, etc., etc. I would suggest 20% of what they are asking for as a max She works in a bank and offers credit cards, in other words she works by phone .... She got through high school but dropped out of college. I seen some pay less for a woman who does not have a degree... But I know what you read from the net is not always right, you know. Some things say one thing and other say completely different... Im getting close to talking to them about the hole ordeal and a set price So im just here to dot my I's and cross my T's... And no about the kids. she is from the country side in Khon Kaen Thai. she is no bar girl or even close she a county bumkin and raised very proper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricksomchai Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 It's not just a white guy thing. My wifes nephew is getting soaked by the brides parents. It is a real soap opera in the village. She has her hooks in real deep, he has already bought stuff that she demands of him. I feel sorry for him, the guy is hard working and doesn't drink,real good people. If my Thai was better I would tell him to run from this one. yup i seen the same thing happen her brother in law is thai and payed out the ass too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john b good Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Hey all i have not been on in some time but wanted to ask? My gf and I want to get married sounds nice huh however for a Dowry her family ask for $15,000 USD .... hmmm I dont want to pay this will take a lifetime to get and she has not even finished school!!! Well she droped out really. so Im asking what is too much and what is right? what would you give out.....? I don't like this dowry scam (unless it's like in India where they pay you to take her off their hands) but I know it's a face thing here. But half a million baht for what. Ask yourself a few questions first, how long have you known her, what was she working at when you met her, what is the social status of here parents, is she an only child, why did she drop out of school, has she already got a child, etc., etc. I would suggest 20% of what they are asking for as a max She works in a bank and offers credit cards, in other words she works by phone .... She got through high school but dropped out of college. I seen some pay less for a woman who does not have a degree... But I know what you read from the net is not always right, you know. Some things say one thing and other say completely different... Im getting close to talking to them about the hole ordeal and a set price So im just here to dot my I's and cross my T's... And no about the kids. she is from the country side in Khon Kaen Thai. she is no bar girl or even close she a county bumkin and raised very proper. I wish you the best of luck. There are some good outcomes. I wouldn't worry too much about offending the family though. And on your point "raised very proper" I don't doubt that she was but don't take too much out of that. Thailand has a culture where children are raised "very proper" and then become the biggest scum bags you're ever likely to find. And that comment is not directed at your "intended" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunjake Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 $15,000 is about 500k THB. You are being scammed. If she or the family were sincere about welcoming you into the family, then they shouldn't have insisted on so much money, especially if she is an upcountry girl. It is common to present/show anywhere between 300-500k THB during the ceremony and then to agree with the family beforehand that they can keep 100k of that money. That money should also go to pay for the wedding. However, I woudl be very suspect on showing any large amount of money to them at the wedding as they could insist on keeping all of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 by pass sin sod by legal marriage at the local thai amphur. 100% correct.... did this myself.... but my wifey never fails to tell me she is worth over a million... but free to me for love The sin sot thing falls between these two points....hi-so families just for show and poor families for the dream meal ticket just dropped from the sky...aka farang! anything in between is up for discussion... Does anyone ever tell these dreaming girls and families that in farangland the mother and father of the bride have to pay ! thought not.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LooseCannon Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 $15,000 is about 500k THB. You are being scammed. If she or the family were sincere about welcoming you into the family, then they shouldn't have insisted on so much money, especially if she is an upcountry girl. It is common to present/show anywhere between 300-500k THB during the ceremony and then to agree with the family beforehand that they can keep 100k of that money. That money should also go to pay for the wedding. However, I woudl be very suspect on showing any large amount of money to them at the wedding as they could insist on keeping all of it! I suggest one of those extra large novelty cheques as seen on TV game shows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 $15,000 is about 500k THB. You are being scammed. If she or the family were sincere about welcoming you into the family, then they shouldn't have insisted on so much money, especially if she is an upcountry girl. It is common to present/show anywhere between 300-500k THB during the ceremony and then to agree with the family beforehand that they can keep 100k of that money. That money should also go to pay for the wedding. However, I woudl be very suspect on showing any large amount of money to them at the wedding as they could insist on keeping all of it! I suggest one of those extra large novelty cheques as seen on TV game shows. Blinking brilliant mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Why not start an "Auction" web site for Thai brides? Very good idea, because that is what this nonsense amounts to. I have had many women give me the pass, when they found out that I was not up for such an idea (sin sod). In some ways, that is what is going on now in Thailand with the Farang/Thai marriages. There are a fair number of men willing to pay one million or over, in addition to house, car, gold, support for family, etc. It is what to many Thai women have come to expect from marriage with a foreigner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 She works in a bank and offers credit cards, in other words she works by phone ....She got through high school but dropped out of college. I seen some pay less for a woman who does not have a degree... But I know what you read from the net is not always right, you know. Some things say one thing and other say completely different... Im getting close to talking to them about the hole ordeal and a set price So im just here to dot my I's and cross my T's... And no about the kids. she is from the country side in Khon Kaen Thai. she is no bar girl or even close she a county bumkin and raised very proper. I'm sorry to say 'Ricksomchai', but if she was marry a Thai they wouldn't be asking the sum they are. If you're going to pay, then find out locally what the going rate for a Thai would be and pay that, if it eases your concience. Just cause you're a farang doesn't mean you're wealthy. You mention Sin Sot but never mention Baht gold. Has any been asked of ? I live in the sticks and my B.I.L paid 30,000 Baht and 1 Baht gold, if that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhgz Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 "Hey all i have not been on in some time but wanted to ask? My gf and I want to get married sounds nice huh however for a Dowry her family ask for $15,000 USD .... hmmm I dont want to pay this will take a lifetime to get and she has not even finished school!!! Well she droped out really. so Im asking what is too much and what is right? what would you give out.....?" Let's see, you don't have any money, and your GF is uneducated. It looks as though this poor school dropout is going to give you a PHd in "being a chump". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 (edited) Let's see, you don't have any money, and your GF is uneducated. It looks as though this poor school dropout is going to give you a PHd in "being a chump". Nice one 'hhgz', but I think the OP already knows that. He's just hoping we're all going to say "yes get married, all will be okay, you're doing the right thing. Good luck". Edited September 18, 2009 by coventry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks for being honest 'apetley'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongeman Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 One question -Do people from different regions of Thailand has different practices regarding sin sod? More like different families have different morals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumball Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I was offered marriage to a few Thai ladies for this much or that much , I told them I had married off 3 daughters and paid all the costs , if her parents were prepared to do the same I could maybe think they may even feel something for me , they did better burnouts than a drag racer . Moved to Cambodia , met a younger lady with chinese heritage , no husband or boyfriend , cost me $500.00 for a village wedding and that was 4 years ago , incidentaly , she chose a $40.00 ring for her wedding gift . SIN-SOT is for suckers . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNGLIFE Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 (edited) Hey all i have not been on in some time but wanted to ask? My gf and I want to get married sounds nice huh however for a Dowry her family ask for $15,000 USD .... hmmm I dont want to pay this will take a lifetime to get and she has not even finished school!!! Well she droped out really. so Im asking what is too much and what is right? what would you give out.....? Ah - the dowry question...again. How much is easy if you shift the paradigm to something you DO understand. Offer as much as you would want to spend on a ring in the West. There is no ring requirement in Thailand, so do NOT give her one (or just a token one) if you are paying a dowry. Everyone stays happy. In my case (happily married 5 years now - no ceremony - did it at the Amphur), I agreed to fix up the old house for the princely sum of @THB 100k (same as a decent ring in the West) in lieu of a cash-in-hand dowry. My wife was/is honest and did not want to risk her father getting drunk off the money or spending it on his mia noi, anyway. So, I handed the money to my wife as each phase was started and she took care of fixing up the house. Everyone is happy (including her father who has lived in it with his then mia noi since the wife's mother passed away). Cheers! Edited September 18, 2009 by SNGLIFE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I was offered marriage to a few Thai ladies for this much or that much , I told them I had married off 3 daughters and paid all the costs , if her parents were prepared to do the same I could maybe think they may even feel something for me , they did better burnouts than a drag racer . Moved to Cambodia , met a younger lady with chinese heritage , no husband or boyfriend , cost me $500.00 for a village wedding and that was 4 years ago , incidentaly , she chose a $40.00 ring for her wedding gift . SIN-SOT is for suckers . Haha well done. Its a mug's game for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yabaaaa Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 (edited) When I got married 3 years ago we went to the Thai registry office dressed in whatever w e had on, 2 of my Wifes friends came with us in their lunch hour and after we had lunch at the side of the road, 400 odd baht, the two friends went back to work. No booze no dowry no parents no family, no planning. Who said romance was dead? Edited September 18, 2009 by yabaaaa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yabaaaa Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I was offered marriage to a few Thai ladies for this much or that much , I told them I had married off 3 daughters and paid all the costs , if her parents were prepared to do the same I could maybe think they may even feel something for me , they did better burnouts than a drag racer . Moved to Cambodia , met a younger lady with chinese heritage , no husband or boyfriend , cost me $500.00 for a village wedding and that was 4 years ago , incidentaly , she chose a $40.00 ring for her wedding gift . SIN-SOT is for suckers . Sheesh $500?? U were robbed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 1k and a chicken.............. I'll up the bid on that to 1K, 1 chicken and a sick buffalo. I have to agree that 100K does sound more like it and that includes the party and everything. $15K is way too much. Hmm, A bovine/buffalo sounds like an even swap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I suggest one of those extra large novelty cheques as seen on TV game shows. Nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My dad paid my husband to take me away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I heard your husband paid your dad even more to take you back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losworld Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Tell them you cannot pay based on religious grounds. If they ask what religion tell them the "Church of Reason". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 The sin sot reminds me of hookers and marriage. The hooker tells you how much it will cost BEFORE she screws you. With marriage you find out later from a lawyer, and you can be assured it is a whole lot more. By then you are REALLY screwed. The sin sot seems to hit you at both ends of these temporary business deals. Good luck with the negotiating. Love-n-lust seems to blind a man. Women go into it with their eyes wide open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now