Sad But True

[KevinHunt]

This is a true story.

On the way home tonight, I popped into 7-11 on Tapae Rd, and when I returned to my car I heard a baby whimper from the dark. I looked closer and realised that a young woman (early 20's ) was sitting in a recess of the temple wall. It was dark but I could just make out the silouhette of mother and child. The baby was about 10-12 months old. It was 3.00 am-ish and although it wasn't raining, it had been earlier and probably would again soon. I asked her what she was doing and she stated the obvious - that they were staying there for the night. My Thai isn't great but I usually make myself understood and although I can usually figure out most of what Thais are on about, her Thai was difficult to understand. She didn't look like a hill-tribe Thai.

Anyway, I offered to take her to a guesthouse and pay for her room. Fortunately, she trusted me and she came with me, so off we went. The folk at the gusthouse asked for her ID and she said that it was in San Khampheng but a girl at reception recognised her and explained that she'd seen them sleeping out at Tapae, the night before. The guy at reception relented and allowed her to stay. So, I took her to the room and got her settled in and although I did my best to communicate I could hardly understand any of her answers to my questions. It appeared that her husband had left but I couldn't figure out why she was homeless. So what can you do? I'm sure there are some social services but she obviously isn't aware of them. She was a real working class type - cheap clothes , dark skin and looked like she'd led a hard life. I did what I could by paying for her room and giving her the money I had on me but I still left with a feeling of guilt, as if I should have done more.

I don't come across these situations very often. She was a young woman with a very young child, alone, at night in the dark. It made me realise that sometimes you forget how hard life is for a lot of people here. I've been here 20 years and it's very easy to think that Thailand has developed and nobody is really as poor as they used to be. Then you get a shock to the system. It puts things into perspective and I don't know about you but these images haunt me for a while. I know I should have done more but... how much can you get involved?

Edited October 2, 2009 by KevinHunt

[eek]

You did more than many would Kevin and its very admirable. I think its an excellent topic also, because its not something ive come across and will be good to read viewpoints as well as hopefully any social welfare possibilities. I imagine there must be some kind of woman/child shelter? I have never thought about what i would do in a similar situation..im ashamed to say..till reading your post now..

[Ulysses G.]

With a mistake or two, being homeless is not that impossible for many of us, but we don't want to think about it.

You did what you could do. May remembering your kindness get her through some other nights where she is not so lucky!

[tigerbalm]

A very kind and thoughtful gesture Mr H, Well done.

I suspect you have us all thinking how she will be managing alone in the days/nights to come..alone and with a small child.

[haybilly]

It's often stated that, in Thailand the family is all-important, but unfortunately I have seen quite a few of these types settling down for the night, with or without the child, and on far too few occasions will I give them a pittance out of my pocket, usually only when asked-what you did was something that would make a temporary but welcome difference, I am sorry to say you did a lot more than I have ever done-if things do go wrong here they seem to go wrong 'big-time'.

Prior to my 10 years in Thailand I spent most of 25 years in many parts of India, for business, and I saw a whole lot worse there, which, I fear, has hardened me to things like this, sadly.

P.S. I called you cynical once--guess I owe you an apology. I applaud your actions, KH.

[Patriciachas]

This is a true story.

On the way home tonight, I popped into 7-11 on Tapae Rd, and when I returned to my car I heard a baby whimper from the dark. I looked closer and realised that a young woman (early 20's ) was sitting in a recess of the temple wall. It was dark but I could just make out the silouhette of mother and child. The baby was about 10-12 months old. It was 3.00 am-ish and although it wasn't raining, it had been earlier and probably would again soon. I asked her what she was doing and she stated the obvious - that they were staying there for the night. My Thai isn't great but I usually make myself understood and although I can usually figure out most of what Thais are on about, her Thai was difficult to understand. She didn't look like a hill-tribe Thai.

Anyway, I offered to take her to a guesthouse and pay for her room. Fortunately, she trusted me and she came with me, so off we went. The folk at the gusthouse asked for her ID and she said that it was in San Khampheng but a girl at reception recognised her and explained that she'd seen them sleeping out at Tapae, the night before. The guy at reception relented and allowed her to stay. So, I took her to the room and got her settled in and although I did my best to communicate I could hardly understand any of her answers to my questions. It appeared that her husband had left but I couldn't figure out why she was homeless. So what can you do? I'm sure there are some social services but she obviously isn't aware of them. She was a real working class type - cheap clothes , dark skin and looked like she'd led a hard life. I did what I could by paying for her room and giving her the money I had on me but I still left with a feeling of guilt, as if I should have done more.

I don't come across these situations very often. She was a young woman with a very young child, alone, at night in the dark. It made me realise that sometimes you forget how hard life is for a lot of people here. I've been here 20 years and it's very easy to think that Thailand has developed and nobody is really as poor as they used to be. Then you get a shock to the system. It puts things into perspective and I don't know about you but these images haunt me for a while. I know I should have done more but... how much can you get involved?

Very thought rendering,i think we all do take a lot for granted but a story like this really makes you sit up and think.I also applaud your actions KH and think that you did more than most would have done in the same circumstances .

[elektrified]

What an incredibly kind, thoughtful, and generous gesture KevinHunt.

[lis41]

realize it may be too late but there is a place here for women and children in crisis

wildflowerhome.net

not amazing digs, but a shelter and a place where these young women can go

[Johpa]

She didn't look like a hill-tribe Thai.

Funny, most Thais say the same thing to my wife when they discover that she is not an ethnic Tai.

[Rasseru]

Did you think to offer her a glass of water?

[greedisgood]

KH--All I can say is

Well done !

[gotlost]

You did the correct thing. There should be more people in Chiang Mai like you.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

realize it may be too late but there is a place here for women and children in crisis

wildflowerhome.net

not amazing digs, but a shelter and a place where these young women can go

Lots better than the Temple wall I'm sure.

[Artamus]

It's often stated that, in Thailand the family is all-important, but unfortunately I have seen quite a few of these types settling down for the night, with or without the child, and on far too few occasions will I give them a pittance out of my pocket, usually only when asked-what you did was something that would make a temporary but welcome difference, I am sorry to say you did a lot more than I have ever done-if things do go wrong here they seem to go wrong 'big-time'.

Prior to my 10 years in Thailand I spent most of 25 years in many parts of India, for business, and I saw a whole lot worse there, which, I fear, has hardened me to things like this, sadly.

This reminds me of something I've been curious about for a while. I notice that the same people are begging in the same places night after night. Whilst I can laways spare some change for the genuinely needy, it would seem to be that these people are bordering on being professional beggers and I wonder how much they really are in need. I also wonder how they are able to occupy the same spot on the pavement night after night. Some sort of payoff somewhere?

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

Good on ya Kevin, very thoughtful.

[Donnyboy]

nice work Kevin

[KevinHunt]

nice work Kevin

Something odd, just occured to me.

Since I work in the Night Bazaar, I see a fair few beggars when I walk about. I never give them money, other than some small change I may have, and even then only because I feel pressured, like if they are in a not so busy spot and they see me/ I see them for 50 metres.

If the young girl last night had been begging I might not have helped her, because I would have interpreted it totally differently. So, if in a week or so she no longer has any money, and she puts a small cup in front of her, I somehow won't believe it!? I suppose that like Artimus said, if they're are there every night you begin to see it differently, or maybe become oblivious to it just like when you see news of another famine in Africa. I sometimes suspect (rightly, or wrongly?) that they have 'borrowed ' the baby to get more sympathy. Irrespective, they are probably dirt poor and don't have many alternatives. Why shouldn't I help, why don't I?

I have no doubt that the girl last night was genuine, but sadly, if I think about it, the only reason I helped was that it all looked more dramatic. Because it was very  late, it had been raining, it was a little bit dark at that spot and she was huddled to the back of the recess in the wall, she was barely visible in the shadows, and the baby was whimpering (not crying) then it was a lot more moving and real. 

Strange, isn't it? It's not enough to be homeless and genuinely destitute, it's got to look real.

[Ulysses G.]

Whilst I can laways spare some change for the genuinely needy, it would seem to be that these people are bordering on being professional beggers and I wonder how much they really are in need. I also wonder how they are able to occupy the same spot on the pavement night after night. Some sort of payoff somewhere?

I would guess that almost ALL beggars here are pros. I lived in Vietnam for a while and realized that that is true there.

[IanForbes]

Having come to know you somewhat on this forum it doesn't surprise me what you did. I've done similar things in the past when I see it's not a begging ploy. It's not that the beggers are any less deserving, but when they choose to make it a life style it hardens the people who might otherwise have helped them. I'm more into helping people help themselves than just handing out money freely. But, if you can make a person's life a little more comfortable, even for one night, then it's worth it.

[doppa]

isn't it amazing what some people do to help, but i beg the question, would we have done the same in our respective nations, i'm more prone to do it hear than the uk, wonder why that is, i have my own thoughts on that however.

anyway very touching and commendable effort.

[KevinHunt]

Whilst I can laways spare some change for the genuinely needy, it would seem to be that these people are bordering on being professional beggers and I wonder how much they really are in need. I also wonder how they are able to occupy the same spot on the pavement night after night. Some sort of payoff somewhere?

I would guess that almost ALL beggars here are pros. I lived in Vietnam for a while and realized that that is true there.

There used to be a beggar outside a bank on Changklan Road. He was a cripple and got about on a hand-cranked Tri-cycle. I used the bank occasionally and I would give  him a tip of the hat and a smile that was almost a 'knowing nod' as I passed him and he replied with a wai. I never donated  because my wife explained that he had a nice house just out of town and he wasn't doing too badly.

It got me thinking one day. He's a cripple and his opportunities of employment are very limited , I imagine. So, what should he do? If he starts begging and finds a good spot and does well out of it one day, should he go home and stop begging or stay and do the full shift? Should he only beg on a subsistence level or should he beg a little more in order to treat himself to a better meal, or God forbid, a beer? 

If his options are truly limited because of his physical limitations and maybe lack of education, and he takes the only option available should he strive, like the rest of us, to do his best or is that immoral? Shouldn't he be entitled to enjoy the nicities of life, like the rest of us?

Most people would be quite happy to give him the money if they thought it was for food or shelter or the bare basics, but he shouldn't be enjoying life should he? He shouldn't have a mobile phone or high-speed internet. Or should he? 

Personally, I came to the conclusion that if begging is his only option available, he should do it to the best of his abilities, and good luck to him if it helps him get on in life. Don't forget, he's giving a public service too, in enabling people to gain merit. He''s just as entitled to a good life as I am, surely?

[IanForbes]

Good point, Kevin. Here in Canada we have what is called "social assistance", which is another term for welfare. Canada also has free medical for everyone and it all comes out of the working classes taxes. Welfare is basic subsistance living for unemployed people. It's tough, as it should be, but at least it keeps people from starving. If it was too easy then there would be no incentive for anyone to work. Thailand does not have welfare and people in need rely on others for support. In Canada we rely on our taxes to help people in need. In most of Asia the people in need rely on family or charity to survive if they can't work.

I no longer give to any charities in Canada, but I do spend a lot of money helping people in Thailand help themselves. I figure everyone in this world deserves an equal chance no matter where they are living. I can't help everyone, but at least I can help a few. And, it makes me feel good.

[473geo]

isn't it amazing what some people do to help, but i beg the question, would we have done the same in our respective nations, i'm more prone to do it hear than the uk, wonder why that is, i have my own thoughts on that however.

anyway very touching and commendable effort.

Many years ago as a teenager visiting London - on my first day while walking from my hotel to the Tube, a lady sleeping in a church doorway asked for a cigarette, which I supplied. I passed twice a day and gave her a cigarette, and we chatted each time she was there, not every day. The end of my holiday arrived, and as I passed for the last time we enjoyed a last cigarette and a chat, she then produced a pack of 10 cigarrettes and gave them to me. Not I believe because she could easily afford them, but even in her poverty, and learning from our conversation I was not wealthy, she wished to return kindness.

On the same visit I was approached at a tourist spot and asked for 10p for a cup of tea......I told the guy tea was now 25p and walked on!!!!!

I'm sure your kindness was much appreciated Kevin

[Thailand]

A knight when the shining armour shone through- good on yer KH

[Geekfreaklover]

That's a really touching story. You did the right thing and there sadly isn't much more that you can do apart from check how they are doing in the future.

[doppa]

isn't it amazing what some people do to help, but i beg the question, would we have done the same in our respective nations, i'm more prone to do it hear than the uk, wonder why that is, i have my own thoughts on that however.

anyway very touching and commendable effort.

Many years ago as a teenager visiting London - on my first day while walking from my hotel to the Tube, a lady sleeping in a church doorway asked for a cigarette, which I supplied. I passed twice a day and gave her a cigarette, and we chatted each time she was there, not every day. The end of my holiday arrived, and as I passed for the last time we enjoyed a last cigarette and a chat, she then produced a pack of 10 cigarrettes and gave them to me. Not I believe because she could easily afford them, but even in her poverty, and learning from our conversation I was not wealthy, she wished to return kindness.

On the same visit I was approached at a tourist spot and asked for 10p for a cup of tea......I told the guy tea was now 25p and walked on!!!!!

I'm sure your kindness was much appreciated Kevin

aye, she probably died from cancer, you unthoughtful chap

[sassienie]

4 months ago, my neighbour and his wife decided to build a house for his son, daughter in law and 6 month old baby next to my land here in Doi Lor.

When the house was nearly completed, I went in to have a look. I said to my wife, it`s sad, this young couple have a baby and the house is practically bare of furnishings. I said; look; they have nothing.

My wife began moaning at me, saying; these people are well known throughout the village to be money grabbers. I didn’t care, my heart shouted louder than my mind, so I gave the son 4000 baht, bought a new water meter and gave them 4 chairs, a table, bought 300 bricks, water pipes and electric cable and plugs to help finish off the building of the house.

To this day, my wife cannot understand my way of thinking, but I always believe, what goes around comes around.

Maybe now that Kevin has done this good deed, he will consider tearing down the no riff raff sign and let the young lady and her baby dine at his restaurant.

[britmaveric]

Well one nite is definitely nice of you, but I wonder what happened to the poor unfortunate soul after 1 day was up?

[KevinHunt]

Well one nite is definitely nice of you, but I wonder what happened to the poor unfortunate soul after 1 day was up?

I gave  her enough money to get by for a week or more, so hopefully it is time enough to sort something out. At least that's what I'd like to think.

[KevinHunt]

Maybe now that Kevin has done this good deed, he will consider tearing down the no riff raff sign and let the young lady and her baby dine at his restaurant.

Is this part of some cunning plan? Opening up the flood-gate?