Could you tell your wife with all due respects from me I sincerely appreciate the fact that Thai toilets are plentiful and free but that's not much reassurance when you're staring down the loo at last night's spicy pork with basil with no tissue and a water gun that's drier than the Gobi desert.

I told her mca....................She said your experience is still not as bad as hers when travelling through isolated national Parks in Canada and USA, where toilets were smelly one-holer's over a pit full of shit. That freaked her out so much she vomitted................Thank God for Thailand she opined!

Thank god she didn't get one with a raccoon in it.

When cooking, make sure you have all ingredients, pans, etc. before cooking.

I hate it when something is missing half way though because my wife has lent it out to some neighbour.

-Tilac where's the garlic.

-Finished.

-But I bought some today because I'm cooking.

-Yes but the neighbour needed some.

Edited October 4, 200916 yr by PoorSucker

Toilets south of the 60th parallel and north of Mexico are free, plentiful, and cleaner than many Thai public toilets. You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet.

Mai bpen rai makes a lot of sense, often. At other times it's absurd.

You don't need to ride a 1000 cc bike or drive a big car with 400 cubic inch V8.

dont marry rent

Don't think that you have suddenly become more handsome, charming and younger looking just because you took a 12 hour flight.

If you are going to fart, sit down in the toilet.

Never, never fart during revealing yourself in a urinal.

If you are going to fart, sit down in the toilet.

Never, never fart during revealing yourself in a urinal.

I'm sure that would ruin the moment.

Never eat a warm shrimp salad - twice I've been caught out and ended up spending a couple of days in bed. No more shrimp/prawn salads for me.

Always pack a small packet of wet wipes in the wifes bag.

My mate always carried a spare pair of undies with him when going out for the day (lesson learnt from a previous day trip, too much SomTam the night before))

Get used to living with tiny ants, there here to stay

Its not also beef you think your eating

You will always be handsome

Money apparently does grow on trees

If you are going to fart, sit down in the toilet.

Never, never fart during revealing yourself in a urinal.

Revealing yourself to who?

I told her mca....................She said your experience is still not as bad as hers when travelling through isolated national Parks in Canada and USA, where toilets were smelly one-holer's over a pit full of shit. That freaked her out so much she vomitted................Thank God for Thailand she opined!

Thank god she didn't get one with a raccoon in it.

The ladies loos always have a beaver in it.

If you are going to fart, sit down in the toilet.

Never, never fart during revealing yourself in a urinal.

Revealing yourself to who?

When cooking, make sure you have all ingredients, pans, etc. before cooking.

I hate it when something is missing half way though because my wife has lent it out to some neighbour.

-Tilac where's the garlic.

-Finished.

-But I bought some today because I'm cooking.

-Yes but the neighbour needed some.

Used to have the same problem in Scotland.

Substitute garlic for sugar though...

Lord loves a workin' man. Don't trust whitey. See a doctor and get rid of it.

Lord loves a workin' man. Don't trust whitey. See a doctor and get rid of it.

Great movie

Don't think that you have suddenly become more handsome, charming and younger looking just because you took a 12 hour flight.

Assume all the girls are pissed of course.

Toilets south of the 60th parallel and north of Mexico are free, plentiful, and cleaner than many Thai public toilets. You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet.

Mai bpen rai makes a lot of sense, often. At other times it's absurd.

You don't need to ride a 1000 cc bike or drive a big car with 400 cubic inch V8.

Only 300metres, you obviously havent been to Central KadsuanKeauw in Chiangmai....

Toilets south of the 60th parallel and north of Mexico are free, plentiful, and cleaner than many Thai public toilets. You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet.

Mai bpen rai makes a lot of sense, often. At other times it's absurd.

You don't need to ride a 1000 cc bike or drive a big car with 400 cubic inch V8.

Only 300metres, you obviously havent been to Central KadsuanKeauw in Chiangmai....

They have toilets there?

If you are going to fart, sit down in the toilet.

Golden rule for sure. And remember, wear easily accessible trousers and underwear for those toilet moments. Do not. I repeat. Do not wear garments that require a lot of fumbling with (as I found out to my eternal shame one day). In LOS a feeling of "fine and dandy" changing to "Where's the loo the bomb bay is open/The tortoise is sticking his head from the shell/Mr Brown is at the door" can often be measured in seconds.

Edited October 5, 200916 yr by mca

.. I hate those @#$%^&*() squat toilets so much, I have resorted to buying one of those three-legged toilet seats at Tesco, which is secreted away in my vehicle for all trips. Position one of those over a squat toilet, and you can read the newspaper in comfort.

I didn't know these were available! Great! No more muscle spasms!

Seems like a circus worthy balancing act using a 3 legged stool over a squat toilet. Where does the 3rd leg go?

I told her mca....................She said your experience is still not as bad as hers when travelling through isolated national Parks in Canada and USA, where toilets were smelly one-holer's over a pit full of shit. That freaked her out so much she vomitted................Thank God for Thailand she opined!

Thank god she didn't get one with a raccoon in it.

Or a video cam

Or better yet thank god she wasn't walking up the path to the one-holer in the dark, and the kids had mischievously moved the shack further back a few meters! OMG!

Edited October 5, 200916 yr by Lopburi99

Seems like a circus worthy balancing act using a 3 legged stool over a squat toilet. Where does the 3rd leg go?

No, a circus worthy balancing act is me not using a 3 legged stool!

Edited October 5, 200916 yr by Lopburi99

#2 ALWAYS check 'bum gun' water pressure BEFORE pointing it at anything important!

Seems like a circus worthy balancing act using a 3 legged stool over a squat toilet. Where does the 3rd leg go?

No, a circus worthy balancing act is me not using a 3 legged stool!

I remember back in the days I actually managed to position myself correctly over a squat toilet without fear of crapping down my leg or into my underwear. Point of balance was achieved with no need to grab onto the water butt or anything foe balance. "Got this sussed" I thought. Then an agonizing cramp hit my left calf.......

Seems like a circus worthy balancing act using a 3 legged stool over a squat toilet. Where does the 3rd leg go?

No, a circus worthy balancing act is me not using a 3 legged stool!

I remember back in the days I actually managed to position myself correctly over a squat toilet without fear of crapping down my leg or into my underwear. Point of balance was achieved with no need to grab onto the water butt or anything foe balance. "Got this sussed" I thought. Then an agonizing cramp hit my left calf.......

Yep, been there, done that!

You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet.

Or if you're really desperate more of a tip-toed type waddle.

Toilets south of the 60th parallel and north of Mexico are free, plentiful, and cleaner than many Thai public toilets. You can walk 300 meters in a fancy Thai mall before finding a toilet.

Only 300metres, you obviously havent been to Central KadsuanKeauw in Chiangmai....

They have toilets there?

Yes but they're in the far corners by the car park, about 289 steps from Sizzler, if you can find them. Plan ahead.

So PB if you take 290 steps plus it means you've shit yourself.