Proposed Mens Society/club In Chiang Mai

[tomahawk]

I am writing here to see if anyone would be interested in this idea. I recently rented 3 story building. First 2 floors are for beauty salon and massage business for wife. Third floor is empty, but is very spacious with western bathroom and shower and nice veranda. I did not know what to do with this but since I am paying for this also I feel I should put it to some use. My idea was originally to get some second hand furniture, tv and coffee maker and make sort of waiting lounge for guys who bring wife or gf to salon, or who visit salon themselves. However, in my old neighborhood in NY the Italians had a social club for men which was a very nice place where local men came and had coffee, played cards or watched TV. Perhaps there could be some interest for something like this in Chiang Mai, but before I went ahead with this I wish to get ideas from guys in Chiang Mai.

The area is in Sansai, on main road near Maejo University. It is mainly Thai area, but has easy access to public transportation from Chaing Mai. Farang and Thai men would all be welcome, though I do not believe many Thais would be interested in something like this, as I would not serve alcohol. (I worked as bouncer in my younger years, and have missing teeth as well as missing money from lawsuits, and am too old to deal with the problems which inevitably occur wherever there is booze.) It would be non-profit society, and no charge to join, but any donations to help pay for coffee,

electricity, etc. would be appreciated as I am not a wealthy person. Eventually, if it is successful, I would like for society to provide some sort of community service, like Lions Club or K of C, but that is a long term goal.

The club or society is for men only, much like many American clubs, as it would cause problems for people if women were admitted. By people I mean me. Perhaps at some point there could be certain events where members could bring their wives or gfs, like the Elks Lodge does.

According to internet there already is a mens association at YMCA, so this is not really a new idea. My main purpose is to provide an alternative for guys who desire normal social interactions with other men but do not desire to go to bars.

If I decide to do this it will probably take a couple of months to obtain the furniture and stuff. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

The 'no women' and 'no alcohol' would be a deal-breaker for me. As for problems related to alcohol: even bars in Chiang Mai have very little problems with this, and any idiot could walk into a bar. If it's a member club then honestly you shouldn't expect too much trouble from people having a glass of wine or beer while they chat.

[earlofwindermere]

I believe that there are actually quite a lot of social groups around....most of them informal though. I know that there are several Rotary clubs, Lions club (I believe), Informal Northern Thai discussion club, Toastmasters, business networking groups as well as a lot of informal men's groups around. While not all are male-only, I'm not convinced that there is a big need for another group to be organized as you proposed. Just my opinion.

[Drew Aitch]

Perhaps (as pointed out above), if you considered a niche type of club as opposed to a general gathering of men, it might prove more successful? Maybe you could set-up a debating society that had a format where only one person could speak at a time thus reducing the risk of cross talk and heated arguments. A bit like the BBC's Have your say program. It could literally be anything though:

Mon: World Politics discussion group

Wed: Gathering of Netentrepreneurs to share and swap ideas for working online.

Fri: How to win Friends and Influence people - just kidding

Sun: Lessons and guest speakers on forum Netiquette

I'm just throwing out some daft ideas, but the general concept still stands.

Good luck whatever you decide

Aitch

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Perhaps (as pointed out above), if you considered a niche type of club as opposed to a general gathering of men, it might prove more successful? Maybe you could set-up a debating society that had a format where only one person could speak at a time thus reducing the risk of cross talk and heated arguments. A bit like the BBC's Have your say program. It could literally be anything though:

!!! What an incredible waste of time!! It's already quite a challenge to add a little common sense here and there in an online forum, but to devote actual time to that as well, to educate a bunch of geezers IRL?

[Drew Aitch]

Actually WinnieTheKhwai, it's the latent identity and anonymity of forums which causes mistrust, arguments, insults and all that other unpleasant jazz.

There's no substitute for real person to person interaction. It is the electronic and virtual world that is having a damaging impact on socialisation skills. Some people even call each other up on the mobile phone when they're in different rooms in the same house for crying out loud! "Jimmy, c'mon down now. Your dinner's on the table!" It won't belong before our best mates, wives, and newborns are all holograms!

Can't even have a cup of coffee with a mates these days without one or the other spending a third of their time chatting to people who aren't even there via their mobile devices. God help the socialisation skills of today's youth.

Groups of 'real' people sitting around having healthy discussions on issues they're passionate about or interested in, is far more healthy than any virtual dialogue or debate held online. Better relationships are formed when people can actually see each other in person.

Take road rage! It's a proven fact that fist waving, foul mouthed motorist spewing aggression to others on the road, behave like that because they rarely get to see or make eye contact with the one who's pissed them off. It's very unusual, on the other hand, for a pedestrian to cut someone up on the footpath then get threatened with their life, or the one-finger treatment, or the swearing and cursing! No! One will look the other straight in the eye, apologise for the incident, and the whole occurrence is forgiven and forgotten in a nanosecond.

See, the argument about a Real World Meeting Vs a Virtual Meeting, doesn't really hold up. Does it?

Aitch

Edited November 25, 2009 by Drew Aitch

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Very good points Drew... Thanks for that..

[tomahawk]

Thanks for the input. Drew I think you have interesting idea, but there are certain points I am not sure about, such as how to let people know about the different topics and days and such. I suppose it could be done on internet. Also, I understand and agree with your point about people who abuse other people on internet whereas they wouldn't do it in real life, but considering some of the discussions I have read on this forum I am not sure whether the same thing would not occur in the club.

[Drew Aitch]

Very good points Drew... Thanks for that..

Thanks They are of course just views based on my observations over the years, and i'm sure others will have theirs that conflict with the above. Even so, i beleive that computers and mobile devices (both or which i depend on), are a curse on modern day society. This is why I think Tomahawk's idea seems like a potentially good one. In fact, when i go out, i usually leave the mobile at home, or stick it on silent mode if it's a social occasion. I'm not that important that i need to be available at a bricks and mortar venue while having a chat on the Nokia to someone else who just wants a natter. It's disrespectful and rude to whoever I'm out with.

Yes, computers and phones are very useful for that emergency call, written contact, making appointments, and even chatting (when it's appropriate). No one is disputing that. But to interrupt an evening with say Real Roger, just so that you can chew the fat with Virtual Vince, deserves a slap in my book.

It wasn't so many years ago when there was no ban on mobile phones in cinemas. Remember that anyone? If it wasn't so bloody annoying, it would have been hilarious, as the whole purpose of relaxing in front of the big screen got lost. Some people just couldn't sit still in a real building among their fellows for more than 5 minutes without plugging into the world of electronic communication.

Aitch

[anonymouse]

As far as I see it Chiang Mai is one big Mens Club , it might work if you were more central, I can't see guys travelling to Sansai to sip tea with some farangs they don't even know.

I'm with Drew railing against the modern world though.

Regards

Mr Grumpy

Edited November 25, 2009 by anonymouse

[tomahawk]

Yes I agree it is probably not the most ideal location for such a club. I also think Chiang Mai is sort of a big mens club, at least for farangs. My personal situation is that I have little in common with the majority of farangs here. I recently moved to an area where there are almost no farangs and due to the inconvenience of travel I rarely see farang friends from my old neighborhood. I no longer drink alcohol, though I drank a whole lot for most of my life, so I do not frequent bars. I do not like soccer, and although I am busy with certain charity volunteer things I have free time, am not anti-social and would like to talk to people . I am with you in that I do not care much for mobile phones or ironically even the internet, though I am writing this here so obviously I see it has its uses.

[OOB]

Yes I agree it is probably not the most ideal location for such a club. I also think Chiang Mai is sort of a big mens club, at least for farangs. My personal situation is that I have little in common with the majority of farangs here. I recently moved to an area where there are almost no farangs and due to the inconvenience of travel I rarely see farang friends from my old neighborhood. I no longer drink alcohol, though I drank a whole lot for most of my life, so I do not frequent bars. I do not like soccer, and although I am busy with certain charity volunteer things I have free time, am not anti-social and would like to talk to people . I am with you in that I do not care much for mobile phones or ironically even the internet, though I am writing this here so obviously I see it has its uses.

Were the club to get popular, would it not be full of people the majority of whom, you have stated you have little in common with?

I see the value in trying to use your vacant real estate, however if you want to talk to people with shared interests, surely joining (or starting) a special interests group would be better than an open house?

Edited November 25, 2009 by OOB

[Ulysses G.]

I'll stick with my favorite men's club of many years. The Housewive's Club never goes out of fashion.

[eek]

seeing as most of the men around your area are Thai, what about seeing if you can bridge the gap. A good opportunity to invite and interact with the men in your area and mutual practice of English/Thai. Would be nice to see some myths and assumptions debunked (on both sides) by real interaction.

[Blinky Bill]

Sounds great.

14 or so kms out of town, no girls or booze! I've been seeking an establishment like this for the past 26 years in Thailand.

Unfortunately due to my tight work schedule, I won't be able to make it in the foreseeable future.

[tomahawk]

Thanks for all of the intelligent responses and also for the other one. Apparently this is not really a good idea but I appreciate everyone letting me know this before I wasted time and money.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I'll stick with my favorite men's club of many years. The Housewive's Club never goes out of fashion.

That place is still going?? Even with all the big dollar development going on in the general area??

[Ulysses G.]

You can not get rid of an institution with so many happy customers over so many years.

[sassienie]

This sounds like a great idea and if this isn’t just another ploy for some sort of profit, I’m all for it.

I wouldn’t be interested in something like the ex-pats club, where there is some loud mouthed American doing all the talking, no one gets a chance to introduce themselves and have to sit there and listen under sufferance for 2 hours, than other members try to sell you things before everyone troddles of home.

What about running it on the basis of games and interactive chat between the members? Such as chess or quizzes.

After that I’m with Ulysses G. for a visit to the housewives.

[Ulysses G.]

I would be happy to accompany you, but I'm afraid that it might be a little lowbrow for your tastes. They only serve Singha beer and the cleanliness of the place is rather suspect.

Have you visited before?

Edited November 26, 2009 by Ulysses G.

[dave2]

WTK.

Re .... That place is still going??

yes they are !!! .... well they were a few months ago but the one on the corner was demolished about six months ago

the other two are still keeping the tuk tuk drivers happy

dave2