The Butterfly Trap

[cognos]

I was called a butterfly..because I WAS one the first few times to Thailand..but for me after a while it sucked, because it ultimately depressed me, hence was a "trap". Here are the 2 dichotomies that spring to mind..( Names omitted, as some of you know these guys )

Exhibit A: A nice fellow I met in Jomtien, aged 69 from USA, claimed to have 10 Thai gf's..and he said he loved it..would NEVER change.. and had.." the biggest stock of Viagra in Thailand ". I thought he was a nice fellow.

Exhibit B: A tall handsome British fellow aged 51 in Phuket.. I had beers with him several times..claimed to have 10 Thai gf's, but was NOT so pleased. For him it was more of an addiction. When I asked him if he would rather have 10 gf's or 1 really good one, he replied " one really good one"..as he was just a little drunk enough to knock off the usual bravado that is seen so often in these cases.. he went on to say he had had Ms. " Thai bliss " wrapped around his finger, but F'd it up by butterflying and getting caught. He figured he would never meet another so good as her, and lamented that the butterfly life was now his fate. I thought he was a nice fellow.

Epilogue: Is the butterfly trap fact or fiction? Are there many farang in LOS that actually LOVE this lifestyle permanently?? I am guessing no, there are other issues at play. Please speculate if you wish.

Pee sura sura..whatever will be will be..the future's not ours to see.. pee sura sura.. ( a Doris Day take- off.. shows my age )

[sceadugenga]

The lack of commitment in paying for sex can be hugely attractive to men coming out of a failed relationship.

The fact that money is involved is usually originally ignored as the punter's self esteem grows.

Finally most give it up and return to a stable relationship.

So I've been told anyway.

[Bakeman]

LOS can help even a homely gent feel like he is a star. This fantasy life is short lived based on your supply of cash. The best relationship is one where the woman does not charge for inuendos. Nice girls are out there and if your friend has given up is because he is not ready to commit. If you want a nice girl go to a nice place not the bar. Truth is if you cant find a girl in LOS then you are not looking. At least not in the right place. By the way men are not the only butterflies.

[sceadugenga]

Yes, we can all be captain of the football team here.

I think the aging stud finds the P4P scene as attractive as "homely guy", it's about self deception as much as sexual conquest.

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

Not sure it is a 'trap' per se... the situation is similar to most young, single guys from back the in west who try to put it around a bit before settling down.... some don't settle down and become the 'oldest swingers in town'... the difference in Thailand is that the 'players' are old farts who can only play because they pay.

After re-reading my post and the OP, I don't really get the point of this thread. Some people shag around, some don't.

[cognos]

..'the 'players' are old farts who can only play because they pay..."

generally I agree..but there may be a certain personality type ( perhaps the cold, unemotional, un-attachable types that don't feel empathy for their " conquests ", pay or no pay, hence perpetually keep moving on to new conquests ?) that is more prone to keep gravitating to the" perpetual butterfly syndrome", or to use an analogy..just as say some battered women keep gravitating towards abusive or "bad"men time and time again..even though after each sordid experience they swear they won't do it again..but it invariably happens again and again..on and on..a vicious circle

[sceadugenga]

Interestingly, Is an old man who goes to a bar and pays a girl 2000B for sex less worthy than a younger one who hunts shop girls and receptionists and promises, or hints at, marriage, or even worse, love, and eventually gives them nothing?

[Bakeman]

Interestingly, Is an old man who goes to a bar and pays a girl 2000B for sex less worthy than a younger one who hunts shop girls and receptionists and promises, or hints at, marriage, or even worse, love, and eventually gives them nothing?

Yes I feel bad for the youg ladies that are taken advantage of by empty promises. Not to get off the subject but 2000 Baht???? It must have increased or is it the older gentlemen pay more?

[barrybankruad]

LOS can help even a homely gent feel like he is a star. This fantasy life is short lived based on your supply of cash. The best relationship is one where the woman does not charge for inuendos. Nice girls are out there and if your friend has given up is because he is not ready to commit. If you want a nice girl go to a nice place not the bar. Truth is if you cant find a girl in LOS then you are not looking. At least not in the right place. By the way men are not the only butterflies.

I cannot understand why there seems to be such an aversion to so called 'bar' girls by members of this forum. I met my wife over 20 years ago in a bar and I could not wish for a better companion. Most of my farang mates are in the same position. OK there are the horror stories about 'ex prostitutes' if you want to call them that, but I can quote just as many cases of 'non' bar girls stitching up their male farang partners.

[sceadugenga]

My first wife wasn't a bar girl and she stitched me up big time.

[RoastLamb]

Yes I feel bad for the youg ladies that are taken advantage of by empty promises. Not to get off the subject but 2000 Baht???? It must have increased or is it the older gentlemen pay more?

That's what I was thinking. Two thousand baht!? Christ almighty. Is that really the going rate? If so it's suprising the bar car parks aren't packed full of Mercedes.

[elektrified]

LOS can help even a homely gent feel like he is a star. This fantasy life is short lived based on your supply of cash. The best relationship is one where the woman does not charge for inuendos. Nice girls are out there and if your friend has given up is because he is not ready to commit. If you want a nice girl go to a nice place not the bar. Truth is if you cant find a girl in LOS then you are not looking. At least not in the right place. By the way men are not the only butterflies.

I cannot understand why there seems to be such an aversion to so called 'bar' girls by members of this forum. I met my wife over 20 years ago in a bar and I could not wish for a better companion. Most of my farang mates are in the same position. OK there are the horror stories about 'ex prostitutes' if you want to call them that, but I can quote just as many cases of 'non' bar girls stitching up their male farang partners.

Wow you are in denial big time. Bar girls are prostitutes - accept it. I don't know what kind of mates you have, but I don't have any mates who have a g/f or wife that was a former prostitute.

[true blue]

Interestingly, Is an old man who goes to a bar and pays a girl 2000B for sex less worthy than a younger one who hunts shop girls and receptionists and promises, or hints at, marriage, or even worse, love, and eventually gives them nothing?

Yes I feel bad for the youg ladies that are taken advantage of by empty promises. Not to get off the subject but 2000 Baht???? It must have increased or is it the older gentlemen pay more?

see inflation has really hit the bar scene,2000 baht for bang bang, pen pia mi di.

[RoastLamb]

Wow you are in denial big time. Bar girls are prostitutes - accept it. I don't know what kind of mates you have, but I don't have any mates who have a g/f or wife that was a former prostitute.

'Bar Girls' are prostitutes but not every girl who works in a bar is a bar girl. That's where the confusion comes in. Like Barry I've met some great girls who work in bars, and who are most definitely not prostitutes.

[bina]

bar girl discussions are off limits on tv; stick to the original thread, not the 'bar girl bad or good' topic ....

bina

israel

[cognos]

this thread is not about to degenerate certain groups of Thai ladies..generalizations are dangerous and assumptions about a "certain group" in a " certain field of work" are not helpful. In my humble experience as a former part time butterfly, and now as a faithful husband that does not stray but still has some thai lady friends, most are jai dee, some are gossippy and spread a little trouble, but it is not dependant on their type of "job", in fact it is probably the opposite of what most people think.. the Thai lady who did cause me some grief and spread lies about my wife is a strong Christian and a teacher. Signed: too difficult to generalize, so perhaps don't bother