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Welcome back bud!


chonabot

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Bud get back here boy and skin the high fives. :o

Chona nice to see your posting regurlarly on two sites now. :D

(Those avatars are a bit of a give away.)

Think your more suited to the 'other site' and hope you contribute big time. Though watch out or a gum shield may be required on Walking Street. :laugh:

Top Cat

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Buddy is quiet than he was before...is it due to heightened excitement in the mysterious east, or sheer exhaustion as he works his way through the hordes ? Well he is single again, so why not ?

He hasn't been too forthcoming about his visit to Vietnam either...one can but wonder     :o

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Buddy is quiet than he was before...is it due to heightened excitement in the mysterious east, or sheer exhaustion as he works his way through the hordes ?

Please pardon me as my hearing is not so good but did you say "hordes" or "whores?"

                                            and

does "heightened excitement" mean lying on your back and getting an erection, or climbing on top of a wardrobe with the intention of leaping onto your lover who is lying down there on the bed?

:o

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:o

People have emailed me requesting some answers to some unanswered questions, so here it is ...

How are u doing being back in the US I guess? yes, back and resting up ...  Thought I write you an email... I cannot make out from your post what finally happened to you in regard to your quest for love? well, my main lady from the email proposal post turned out to be great in bed but kind of dishonest in trying to hid the fact she met others who came to Thailand on vacation ... kind of a fraud ad that she was just a tailor, she did have people sewing at her families home, kind of a simple place, but her sisters and family did not really be friend me, it seemed I was just another John of hers, she could not speak a word of English this caused a problem, once I found someone to interpret what was on her mind I found her to be of no value as a spouse, so I dumped her ... Did you finally get involved with some Thai lady seriously or not? I spent about two weeks with a lady called Nong, college grad could speak some English, nice girl I traveled to Korat and her province, lived with her and her sister for awhile and learned a lot about how they lived and the culture outside and apart from the tourist spots, but she had a problem with sex, she had been stitched up for some reason and the vagina opening being small made her hurt sometimes, tip is the word in Thai, so she was a failure in bed, so I guess she and I are great friends, but I would never marry her ... so I guess I never found a suitable partner in life while in country  this time.

I did understand you had a "jolly good time", but, after all, where you happy afterwards or not? I still must look for Miss Right, I think not getting hooked with a lady being with you at the hotel and around you 24 hours would have been  better, then you are free to select other available ladies as you see them and meet them in person, I had some great prospects {ladies hitting on me while out and about}, but the lady with me scared them off ...Are you planning to go back sometime in the future or not? yes, but this time I want to keep myself open and free to meet them as I find them, not get hooked with a lady living with me, I must be more free to pick them as I see them in person, not via email or a photo ...Did you establish a good contact with some lady? yes but no good in bed, nice  but not what I really need someone who is good all around A lot of questions, I know, but I am curious. And, of course, I was hoping you would be lucky because I thought you deserved it after reading your posts before you left. Looked as if you had real good intentions. I think the best way is to just go and promise nothing to anyone via email before arrival, no one before arrival, set up for a longer stay, get an apartment, talk to the locals, find one you like, just be available, maybe email some while in Bangkok and meet them for dinner but no more having them them stay in hotel with me until I see them for awhile and realize they have a real job, are good in bed, can speak a little English, meet several, via email for just dinner or just from hanging out and talking, that way your available and not tied down with one who may not be exactly what you want.

So, what's up now?

Greetings!

Bud is tired, after all he as well had surgery in Thailand, all came out fine and I learned a lot by living as a Thai in a small province.

Bud

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:o

Rent a bride is much better than marry a bride. Just think about it, when a rental gets milage you just trade it in for a new one. U all understand that nothing is permanent in the Kingdom of Joy, so maybe the rental plan serves us all the best.

However, seriously there are some great Asian ladies who would make ideal long term mates. It is mostly the Thai males who butterfly, I know one Thai Army Major on his fourth wife and has never given any of the previously ones child or alimony. He lives in a large well furnished house, in America the lady would have the house and he would be renting a room and paying out most of his check each month. So who is to blame here, the ladies looking for a farang as security or the governmental laws that favor the male. Lack of a social security system, of course the ladies are desperate and looking for a change of nationality for their future. Some will find a great husband, and bank for their kids welfare if they are lucky, others will find no one.

Bud

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:o

Some interesting email talk about Thai lady girl friends the pros and cons, and of course an email address to one of the best ladies available in Thailand.

Thanks for your email. Too bad that the "prime lady" turned out to be just another fortune seeker in the end.she had some good points, but the bad outweigh the good, if your around these ladies all the time, minus any going back home you can keep their attention much better they think not in future terms only now ... But what the heck!  three days of great sex at no cost Enough other potential good ones around there!  yes, there a too many to decide on, but some will do you in if your not careful ... Although I must admit, especially after reading some very good books on the topic, that however you look at it, a relationship with a Thai lady does have some nasty problems baked into it: for instance

(and the worst problem!): it is a cultural thing that a "good daughter" MUST look after her parents financially, until they die that is! She will ALWAYS want to do that.it is not culture, fact is they have no social security system, unless one works for the government they get nothing, so all family must help the old ... the third world is yet to be civilized ...  I have a Thai girlfriend for 2 years now and she is always

bugging me for money for her and her parents. It costs me no less than 20.000 baht every month for God sake!  that was a mistake on your part, any money sent them is usually wasted, somehow you got to shut down the cash flow, the good ones ask for nothing and maybe your not the only guy sending in payments ... And this is going on for exactly 2

years now...try stopping and see if she still wants you, usually when the money stops so does the honey, she turned you into the bank ... a Captain in the Thai Army gets about 20,000 baht per month, a Captain on the Thai Police Force gets about 10,000 baht monthly, a bar girl earns about 23,000 baht monthly and a college grad gets about 15,000, a secretary about 7,000 so she is living really well on your contribution.

For this reason I am considering putting an end to this relationship and

going back to Thailand to have another look. Maybe this girl is just greedy

and asks for too much.I would cut her off immediately and see what she does ...  I read in a book that the average Thai income for

people without any education is about 5000 baht monthly. Then, 20.000 baht

is way too much to give away on a monthly basis I reckon. Maybe they are

just abusing and milking me big time!  I would say yes they are, and I understand, when I was there the two sisters I stayed with thought I was the bank, I understood they had little money compared to myself, and helped them out with many little things, like changing the oil and gas, eating out, cost of the zoo visit, beach, etc.  but I was also staying in their home for free, so it kind of made sense since I was not paying for the hotel and they were showing me around, granted these home as very basic,  but I got to understand their way of life by experiencing it first hand.

Another problem is the fact that Thai people are very patriotic. They love

Thailand above every other country. Also, they are not travelers. In fact,

a Thai girl would rather stay in Thailand then go abroad with a husband, if

it wasn't for the financial benefits. If you can live in Thailand your better off, since getting one of these ladies into some Western Countries is not easy.Most Thai girls have a difficult time

adapting to another country. Many are not happy abroad.The language is difficult for them, their friends and family are far away.  They also have the

idea, that because they are going with you to your home country, you have to

do something in return for them. That is: taking care of her and her family

financially. Again these people would starve minus the support of the kids ... This puts a big stress on the relationship. The farang becomes the bank.

Then, Thai people live from day to day. They are not long-term planners.Many will hit you hard for things, shopping all the time, spending like crazy, you got too take charge and let them know your not the bank.  They

have a real problem managing money: if it is here today, it is gone

tomorrow. You got that right, you have to take charge. They live like there is no tomorrow. This has to do with their

Buddhist belief, I have read. More like the belief that their farang boy friend or husband has an endless cash flow.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want to warn you: you seem to have good

intentions and a good heart. I am learning fast, this last trip I did a lot of close interaction with the ladies, other trips I was mostly just interested in getting my surgery or other business done, with of course a few bar girls in toe, but these ladies for the most part were not entertainers but non bar types ... You seem to be looking for a nice Thai woman to

be your partner and maybe marry. I am having some real second thoughts about that one.  Please don't think that Thai women are

only "love and happiness." My own experience is that they have a lot of good

sides, but one big problematic side. That is the never-ending lust for money. I am not sure they all have that, but understand that you must ration out the doe ... take charge and what else can they do  but listen ...

They seem to think that every "farang" is really rich. As if you only have

to go to the bank to take new money, without working for it...they have no money, they are very poor, so anything we have is a lot more than they have ...  Every week I

have to protect myself from the repeating requests for more and more money

to be send to her and her family! stop sending money, believe me anything sent is money wasted, if you have money to waste then send it, if not stop the cash flow immediately ... make up any excuse for doing it but cut yourself free ... I am considering to put an end to this,

before it makes me broke. go to the Nana Plaza. com site and read about sending money to these girls and take their advice ... do not send any ...

I read in your email about the language problem you found. That also is a

well-known problem in a relationship with Thai woman. Only few of them speak

somewhat acceptable English.she had the nerve to make it my problem, I had to learn Thai, she was too lazy to learn English ...  It will always be a problem to communicate

well. This leads not only to misunderstandings, but also to frustration,

especially in the long run.using the book gets old after a few days ... You will get tired of trying to put your

thoughts and feelings in an English as simple as possible, so that she will

(partly) understand. At least, that is my own experience. well taken ...

As you found there are Thai ladies there, who "shop around". Obviously, they

do this in an attempt to find "the best" farang husband. they seem to be only interested in the bottom line income the highest and if the guy is going to move to Thailand, immediately, as you noted they can see the future or wait very long ... That is: the one

with the most money I guess. right on ... no money no honey ... I played a trick on one I told her my credit card was no longer working, her charismatic attitude changed from that of no longer holding my hand to immediately calling her friend who spoke English to have me explain! as you no I got rid of her after only three days ... Take care that you are not going to get abused,

intentionally or, maybe worse, because they can not understand that your

funds are really NOT unlimited.  just let them find another bank if they cannot understand you will only spend as you see fit, on one shopping afternoon I got tired and had to sit down while she was forced to continue shopping on her own, she actually started spending her money, and came back for me, I had a great time talking to ladies as they pasted me ... I think the latter possibility is the one I

am suffering right now. My girlfriend just can not understand that I have to

work for the money too, and that my funds are not unlimited. cut out the payments to Thailand and tell her you'll see her when your next holiday is ... if she is a bar girl she is not really taking the money to stay home, she is still out with someone so save the money ...

Ofcourse I do not want to talk you out of your "quest for love in Thailand". actually Mexico, Costa Rica and the Dominican Republic, right near home are looking better each day ...

On the contrary: Thai ladies do, after all, have so much for them compared

with Western women, that I still think that a Thai lady can make you happier

then a Western one. Or maybe. But you have to be careful. a move to the country is the only way, or bring them home ... if in county for awhile your at the advantage, lots of ladies and you are now in control ...

Therefore it is a good idea that the next time you visit Thailand, you just

take your time and look around on the spot.much better, matter of fact try this email, 32 nice butt, no kids, owns her own car motorcycle dealership, BSEE, electrical engineer, speaks great English, love farangs only ... I meat her while my lady was having her hair done on me ... 09-9491183, Wilailak at- [email protected] of course I wanted her but I was already stuck, and living with two sisters ... she made the sisters appear as dogs compared to her ... Not prepare with ladies in

advance by email or the like. Just like you say in your email. Take your

time and be careful! you can email some but do not commit to any until you see them in person ...

Also note that it will be especially difficult if you are looking for a Thai

lady "with a real (good) job". My experience (and I read it in books as

well) is, that Thai ladies with a (real) good job are NOT looking for a

farang partner. not true at all email and get the photo of the above lady ... they are professional women who are seeking only farangs ... I wrote about this on the Thavies expat forum as you might

remember. Several other people where kind of criticizing me about that, but I

still am quite sure it is the truth: Thai ladies looking for a faring are

not the most successful and most respected in their own society.not anymore many are liberalized now ... Although

this does not have to be a problem for love, you should keep it in mind.

Because one consequence of this is, that the ladies you are going to find

are not the ones with the best education. Sometimes they have no idea what

the world looks like, for instance, where the US are situated. They have no

idea about concepts like politics, economics, literature and so on.only the grade school educated, get a college educated lady ... In the

beginning of the relationship all this does not seem to matter, but after a

while you will notice that it does has consequences. My girlfriend for

instance is perfectly happy watching television all day and all night long.

Even if it are only stupid shows or something. But I can not talk to her

about many things.I understand, it is very difficult for educated people with these beautiful dummies ... She simply has no clue. It can get disappointing

sometimes or frustrating.

The girls you meet in the bars mostly are from Isaan. or other rural Provinces ...They come from a very

poor part of the country and do not have any education. They saw nothing in

their life but the rice fields in Isaan and the bar scene in Bangkok. true of many, yes ...

My intention was to "save" one of these cute little things from a life of

Prostitution and hardship and show her real love and happiness. To "take

care of her". me too but I am learning ... Give her the opportunity to study. And get a "good life". Too

bad that she (they?) seem(s) to be too lazy to studie.the good life and easy money you send her ... Now I get the idea

that she prefers to live on my expenses and she likes it that way. Why

should she studie or work if she doesn't have to, financially? This I also

read in a good book about Thailand, Thai society and Thai people. Thai

people live for "sanuk" (fun) and live should be "sabai sabai"

(comfortable). And things and people should be "suay" (beautiful). These are

the 3 main "values" of Thai people. I know it is a generalization but it

seems to be true for many Thai women. right on!

I hope you can do something with this information. Again, I do not want to

be negative but I want you to be OK in your future. I read many a story

about Western man being completely ruined by a Thai girl and her family

financially and completely destroyed emotionally. You do not deserve this I

guess. So take care! takes for the heads up and I am aware of it!

Finally, nevertheless the above mentioned, I still am going back to Thailand

in the near future also. Firstly, to check on my girlfriend and make the

final decision: either I take her to Holland with me or I end the

relationship. This depends on how she is going to behave when I am there the

next time and how I can settle this "money thing" or not. Secondly, if I

should end this relationship, I am going to "look around carefully" also for

another, but then final, try. I would start looking now ... talk to the lady on the above email ... ask her about the American she talked too while his friends were across the road doing their hair, she specifically asked me if I had more friends like myself and made herself available ... I sat with her a long time and we drank coffee ... while at her business ...

I plan to go to her in December. Should I end the relationship then, I will

go back again in 2004 another time, but then, ofcourse, "solo". Maybe in

june or july 2004. If you are interested, maybe we could meet in Bangkok

then and get out on the town together sometime! Or even stay in the same

hotel or appartment. I guess that it could have some benefits, like sharing

an appartment or hotel room. Should be cheaper together then 2x solo.

Well, at least in the same hotel, the rooms are small and I usually end up having some sex with the local ladies on a frequent basis, but some of these ladies do not mind sharing a few guys, but those are the ones we do not want.

It is only a thought passing my mind, ofcourse no strings attached, don't

worrie! I understand ...

I attach a picture of me and my girlfriend. Do you see how cute and innocent

she looks? And still turns out te be a hazard to my financial situatioin and

emotional health, haha! she is cute, but so aren't most of them ...

Good luck!

Peter or Bud

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Bud,

Lots of generalisations here.

I think that if you look for love on the internet or in the bars you will be disappointed.

If you search for diamonds at the rubbish dump, I'm sure that all you will find is rubbish.

There are plenty of ladies out there that don't need your handouts. They just take a little longer to find and woo.

Take your time to find a nice middle class lady that is well educated and has a "real" job. This might mean that you will need to spend more time in LOS than just a couple of weeks, but the wait is well worth while.

Life is good not having to speak Isanglish...   :o

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:o

To TizMe,

Actually it was over three weeks this time, I would have stayed longer but I needed to get rid of my campanion. She even followed me to the airport to make sure I was really leaving. I guess the spark just died out.

I agree, the middle class ladies are the only way, and they speak English. If one decides to live full time and sets himself up with house and auto, the possiblities are endless for finding a decent lady.

Bud

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:o

No, that wasn't me I was advising someone on this forum who is presently in that situation. The gentleman, who will remain discreet, who is an attorney, from the land of ... well if I say you'll all know him. Anyway the narrative of advice is me, and I certainly would not pay a nickel. Sending a money is not the way to go unless you have lots to waste. The amount of 20,000 baht is a salary most higher level Thai professionals enjoy, that includes bar girls and University Professors. Not all the bar girls make it on their backs every night, some have it mailed to them.

Bud

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:o

Time is money, and a Thai lady may think her time is worth some money. It all costs, whether bar lady or email friends who stay with you at the hotel. Either they shop you into the ground or they convince you to get married and then it really costs.

I enjoy being single.

Bud

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<font color='#000000'>Bud,

Lots of generalisations here.

I think that if you look for love on the internet or in the bars you will be disappointed.

If you search for diamonds at the rubbish dump, I'm sure that all you will find is rubbish.

There are plenty of ladies out there that don't need your handouts. They just take a little longer to find and woo.

Take your time to find a nice middle class lady that is well educated and has a "real" job. This might mean that you will need to spend more time in LOS than just a couple of weeks, but the wait is well worth while.

Life is good not having to speak Isanglish...   :o</font>

Agree with your idea, but terribly sad to read mails from Mr. Bud. I am a THAI WOMAN, who feels so down to read all of you wrote. If you are looking for a good thai lady, why dont you always hanging around with bar ladies and complaining all the problem you met.

That is your problem also. If you want to have a thai lady who can speak your language and be able to do things like western women, so you have to look other places...out of Night places where there are only poor mosquitoes there ..so suck your dolla bloods. Logic..huh ?

If you are looking (an instant lady like Instant nestcafe )who can speaks fluently english and modern and, even good in bed...you have to pay higher price also.

That is logic again, women who are working in the bar ...mostly they have learned ..to tell her clients the same stories.....have to take good care whole of your family...and relations...or the whole semi-province where all of her relations live. The same stories....

The money you help ......( not only you..but many of her clients...keep helping )....she will live in a big foot....too...and laugh at you ....when you think all of you found real love in her...

I have warned many Farangs in EU already....but they mostly thought it was real love.....and felt so sad and so sorry for her Buffalo died...logic....she needs money for the Buffalo's funeral again.

Another mail come....this time...school is opened and her sister needs some money for uniform and many other things.

Later...her dad is sick..and needed urgently cure in the hospital....darling....i need 30,000 Baht....soon....if you reall love me....please send it soon before my dad is going to DIE .......

Oh, what a sad story now.....

Kahte

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Sounds like in the insane Circus. But on the other hand....Farang likes to be a HERO and feel comfortable to support her family. They do feel , at home, with her services....

So they dont feel guilty to buy fresh ( Human ) on the street, bring home and hummmm....cook

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Yeah, whatever... Bud who do you think you are at all??!? How dare you say 'Thai women this... and Thai women that...'?? You think you know so much about us Thai women just by spending a few weeks/months (whatever) with some girls you hook up over the net? met in the bars? picked up in restaurants/department stores/the street????!! Or by reading some books!!?? For F*&$^ sake, if I have a penny everytime I heard/read a farang said 'I know all about Thai women and they are like this blah blah blah', I sure would have been a millionaire by now. :o

My husband read a bit of your post. He just shook his head and said to me 'you don't half read these craps, you know?' And I agree with him wholeheartedly.

Sorry to be rude, but my opinion is this 'if you dine from a rubbish tip, then don't complain when you get food poisoning'.

It's all a load of rubbish as well that successful/nice/modern/independent Thai women don't date westerners. Obviously, not ALL of them will be scrambling for one. Why should they? Are the westerners SOOOO much better than Thai men of their level that they need to get one?!? I don't think so! Most of these women will be open minded about dating people from different cultural background from them. Try to understand that just because they are not likely to offer to spend the night with you in your hotel the first time you met doesn't mean they will only date Thais. These women will have higher standard on what sort of characters they are dating. And really really really, they are NOT likely to be posting their photos on the net, advertising themselves on some dating websites (sorry, no disrespect to those sites). The opportunities to meet different people and attention they get from being successful/nice/modern/independent are already enough for them in their daily life! B)

I can't even begin to argue with some of sweeping statements made in your posts. It's clear that you have only experienced ONE area of Thai society and tar the whole country with the same brush. It's a waste of time for me saying anything here as it will just get dismissed as 'a view from a westernised woman'. Ha!

You know, I think it's good that you keep generalising actually. This way, at least you will know what sort of ladies you are likely to get. :D Stick with your bargirls and email friends. You seem like you will fit in well with them just fine.

That's all, folks! Sorry if I've been quite rude/offensive/whatever in this post. I just can't stand this crap anymore. Thanks for letting me express what I feel! B)

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Yeah, whatever... Bud who do you think you are at all??!? How dare you say 'Thai women this... and Thai women that...'?? You think you know so much about us Thai women just by spending a few weeks/months (whatever) with some girls you hook up over the net? met in the bars? picked up in restaurants/department stores/the street????!! Or by reading some books!!?? For F*&$^ sake, if I have a penny everytime I heard/read a farang said 'I know all about Thai women and they are like this blah blah blah', I sure would have been a millionaire by now. :o

My husband read a bit of your post. He just shook his head and said to me 'you don't half read these craps, you know?' And I agree with him wholeheartedly.

Sorry to be rude, but my opinion is this 'if you dine from a rubbish tip, then don't complain when you get food poisoning'.

It's all a load of rubbish as well that successful/nice/modern/independent Thai women don't date westerners. Obviously, not ALL of them will be scrambling for one. Why should they? Are the westerners SOOOO much better than Thai men of their level that they need to get one?!? I don't think so! Most of these women will be open minded about dating people from different cultural background from them. Try to understand that just because they are not likely to offer to spend the night with you in your hotel the first time you met doesn't mean they will only date Thais. These women will have higher standard on what sort of characters they are dating. And really really really, they are NOT likely to be posting their photos on the net, advertising themselves on some dating websites (sorry, no disrespect to those sites). The opportunities to meet different people and attention they get from being successful/nice/modern/independent are already enough for them in their daily life! B)

I can't even begin to argue with some of sweeping statements made in your posts. It's clear that you have only experienced ONE area of Thai society and tar the whole country with the same brush. It's a waste of time for me saying anything here as it will just get dismissed as 'a view from a westernised woman'. Ha!

You know, I think it's good that you keep generalising actually. This way, at least you will know what sort of ladies you are likely to get. :D Stick with your bargirls and email friends. You seem like you will fit in well with them just fine.

That's all, folks! Sorry if I've been quite rude/offensive/whatever in this post. I just can't stand this crap anymore. Thanks for letting me express what I feel! B)

Bravooooo......at least one speak out of my heart too. Many thanks for your mail.

We ( thai women ) do agree of yours point of views. And it is really TRUE !!!

Sorry for my bad english, I havent used this language for so many years ;-)

At least you cheer me up a lot for showing how is THAI WOMAN....here in thailand....too

Kathe

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