Should An Ex-bar Girl Hide Her Past...

[neverdie]

OP, As I prepare to blurt out my answer, I ponder...perhaps Ive been here too long, not long enough or somewhere in between but.....

"Who really gives a dam_n, its up to her, in most work roles she will be judged on her performance, not about what she use to do."

Lets face it, shes not going to be applying for jobs as a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist.....all those positions are filled with the hi-so ThaiVisa members & their partners, so I wouldnt put too much thought or worry into this one.

[fletchsmile]

Must have touched a nerve. And where did I say that it mattered or wasn't giving any particular individual the benefit of the doubt?

Nothing personal. I just picked a couple of phrases that are examples of some people's small mindedness in judging others, and forming opinions on them without knowing any facts - yours happened to be one of them.

One key indicator is a fidgety lack of confidence, a perpetual fish out of water aura, it's not so different than any other person who looks out of their element: if you removed a som tam vendor or garbage recycler from their previous lives and then increased their wealth and plopped them down somewhere else in an otherwise alien enviroment, you'd get the same effect, ...

Now there's a very good point to ponder. Unfortunately if that "fish out of water" happens to be with a foreigner, many small minded Thais will automatically assume she is a bar girl. The fact that it is "not so different", naturally leads to errors. Unfortunately many people don't care if they're correct or not and simply take the opportunity to reinforce their prejudices, and their own "position" in society. Things will take a long time to improve though as it's so ingrained here, they do it without thinking, and can't even see it as prejudice.

Ironically the fact that a very large number of Thais think in such prejudiced ways, creates a situation where the girl herself becomes self conscious about even the prospect of being seen with a foreigner, regardless of whether she's a BG or not. And guess what? This causes her to become fidgety and lack confidence... .

Does it touch a nerve? No. Do I find it sad? Yes. There's a hel_l of a lot of things to like about Thailand and the people living here, and it could be even nicer without all the prejudices and stereotyping.

Edited January 12, 2010 by fletchsmile

[mrtoad]

Must have touched a nerve. And where did I say that it mattered or wasn't giving any particular individual the benefit of the doubt?

You obviously don't know the poster who you are aiming that dig at. Might be worth engaging something before posting.

[Ijustwannateach]

I think it was already made clear by Migs that this is not supposed to be a generic 'bargirl' thread; please stick to the OP's concern or this thread will have to be closed. Various off-topic posts have been removed to get things back on track.

[TheJoker12]

fletch,

if you yourself did not view bar girls negatively, then you would not care if your lady friend was mistaken for one. however, you do care, that is why it makes you angry. so really, you are same as the bigoted Thais.

[Travel2003]

Hide the truth. Do not lie but do not mention it either.

If she was a BG for only a short while, it will be easy to gloss it over. If for a longer time then you will have to be more creative.

I see a lot of post saying it does not matter ...<deleted>!!

It matters, live in the real world. People in general are judgemental and bigoted. Look at this forum, look at all the dont trust a Thai threads, the you're a sucka for faling for a thai girl, thai girl = scammers etc.

Dont say anything. Even if the owner may not care but the staff will. There will be gossip and rumours, the work environment will be poisonous. They (entire company) will be watching how she conducts herself and everything she does will be judged and condemned!!!. If she does well and is handed more responsibility the gossip will be she f@cked the owner to get it.

That is reality, that is the world we all live in.

Bury the skeletons in the basement!!!

100% agree with the entire post.

Spot on.

[fletchsmile]

fletch,

if you yourself did not view bar girls negatively, then you would not care if your lady friend was mistaken for one. however, you do care, that is why it makes you angry. so really, you are same as the bigoted Thais.

Think you have the wrong end of your juggling balls there joker

I don't view bar girls negatively - nor circus entertainers either. They're all individuals, so focus on the intent rather than the action.

Yes I do care - about society.

No it doesn't make me angry. Think you've just mixed up what I dislike - that's the act of viewing other people negatively without knowing anything about them, and the intent behind doing so.

I guess it would be fair to say I'm bigoted about prejudice and bigots if that's what you're aiming at - but hey I never said I was perfect.

[Abrak]

What I found odd about the OP's question was the inclusion 'within' the question of 2 google ads (specifically within the OP's post). As it turned out, it was because I hadnt logged in.

One of the Ads along the lines of 'Their are 1000s of sexy Thai girls just wanting to be your girlfriend (with link included)' just seems inappropriate. I would like to think the OP is not trying to sell some TG product under his name. Of course TV is free to do what it pleases but placing ads within our posts would seem somewhat strange.

What concerns me is this - as I didnt log in I saw one thing, while if I log in I see another. So far so good. You wouldnt expect though that a post you made would be combined with ads that you had apparently endorsed especially to anyone that wasnt even a member. If the OP was marketing various services to the outside public, I humbly apologize.

[TheJoker12]

Google Ads work with keywords. Companies want to advertise these products to the type of losers who read this board and will click on them (yes, YOU). Thai Visa cannot control what ads show up. They show up based on words in the posts.

[Samuian]

@OP:

If her communications skills are good, and you suppose a job in a "farang" Restaurant, how good is she as waitress or will she be a"bar girl" pouring, beers, preparing drinks?

How good is she at that - her coworkers will find out soon - any thoughts on training her - there are schools-training facilities- all the way up to Dusit-Catering and Hotel Management School - 90.000 Baht 6 Month course!

Contact:

Dusit Thani College

1 Soi Kaenthong (Next to Seacon Square) Nongbon

Pravet, Bangkok 10250

Telephone : 0-2361-7811 - 3

Fax : 0-2361-7806

[email protected]

and the I-TIM

click here:

With something at hand, she looks way better!

Serious - it can be done - create some fun around it - raise her interest - maybe start with buying a cocktail book.... jsut an idea - it is possible!

Edited January 12, 2010 by Samuian

[Abrak]

Google Ads work with keywords. Companies want to advertise these products to the type of losers who read this board and will click on them (yes, YOU). Thai Visa cannot control what ads show up. They show up based on words in the posts.

Thanks for your explanation.

I am still slightly confused out of ignorance I suspect.

I understand that 'ads' appear between posts whenever you see a thread. What surprised me is that ads appeared within your posts if you are not logged in but do not appear if you are logged in.

So I have attached a jpg of the post by the OP as it appears if you are not logged in - obviously this stuff gets computer generated but it just looks as though the guy, who is just chatting about his GF, is actually 'virtually selling' 'girls'. I fully realize that TV is perfectly entitled to distort or publish posts as they deem fit to their maximum financial advantage, I perhaps didnt know that what appeared when you were logged in might be different to what appears elsewhere.

Compare this to what you see as a logged in member.

Edited January 12, 2010 by Abrak

[Heng]

Does it touch a nerve? No. Do I find it sad? Yes.

Same thing. It touched the "sad nerve."

It is what it is. No doubt some folks may be mistaken for something they are not. And indeed, many gals do turn their lives around. I just don't feel the PC need to pretend that most are invisible, no matter how many times you dip them in gold and or chocolate, nor that most never truly escape (blame society if it makes you feel better) their work history. They probably won't be performing surgery on anyone, but I've seen/known plenty who ended up as car sales people and others as clothing retailers. Good for them.

IMO it's not because of a lack of jobs or lack of opportunities, it's more often than not a lack of will on the part of the current or former sex worker. The excuse is rarely "there simply weren't any factory jobs" available. It's almost always "I was in too deep a hole." And somehow, they simply manage to find a way to keep that hole too deep to use a mainstream work life to ever climb out of over the course of their entire lives.

[Lopburi99]

Schmutzie, I learned long ago "be careful what you strive for, because you just might achieve it." In other words, are you sure you really WANT your gf to go off to work, probably every day? I didn't see much on your profile so I don't even know your age, but if you yourself are not working staying home alone can be a drag for many of us who don't have hobbies or much else to do. Don't know if this applies to you, but perhaps it does to others so I wanted to make this remark. Personally, I don't want my wife to work at all. I am retired and I don't want to be spending much time alone if any. She teaches aerobic dance a few hours each late afternoon several days a week and I am not even keen on that because it cramps my style for doing things spontaneously, and I don't like us being held to a schedule. But she loves it and it is great for her health so I go along with it.

Another option would be for you both to open a little business together, like some possibilities already mentioned. I could see some appeal to that idea and it could provide some challenge, purpose and reward.

Just my thoughts. Good luck!

Edited January 12, 2010 by Lopburi99

[lordsux]

Google Ads work with keywords. Companies want to advertise these products to the type of losers who read this board and will click on them (yes, YOU). Thai Visa cannot control what ads show up. They show up based on words in the posts.

Off topic, but a point that should be clarified - Taken from Adsense Guidelines

Can I filter the ads that are displayed on my site?

Yes, you can prevent ads from appearing on your pages using two tools in your account.

* Competitive Ad Filter

This filter lets you create and manage a list of websites whose ads you'd prefer not to show on your pages. Add a URL to your filter list, and ads from that site will no longer display on your pages.

* Ad Review Center

This tool allows you to prevent placement-targeted ads from appearing on your pages. You can block ads by advertiser or by ad group.

[TAWP]

How do I spot a bargirl, even if she has a lot of money? It's nothing about dress or looks.

If I go past her and she is with her hubby/boyfriend, but still gives me that 'wanna f..." look, then I know she worked as a bar girl.

You are joking, right?

Some of us get that from non-BG's too.

[MrHammer]

How do I spot a bargirl, even if she has a lot of money? It's nothing about dress or looks.

If I go past her and she is with her hubby/boyfriend, but still gives me that 'wanna f..." look, then I know she worked as a bar girl.

You are joking, right?

Some of us get that from non-BG's too.

I get more of the kind of shy glances, then looking very embarrassed when caught. Then a smile and so it begins. Gotta love Thailand!

[mca]

How do I spot a bargirl, even if she has a lot of money? It's nothing about dress or looks.

If I go past her and she is with her hubby/boyfriend, but still gives me that 'wanna f..." look, then I know she worked as a bar girl.

You are joking, right?

Some of us get that from non-BG's too.

No TAWP mate. They're giving you a "Let's give this silly old <deleted> some wanking material for later on" look.

[Birdman]

According to my crystal ball an endless stream of [old(er)] men will appear in the not too distant future. Maybe one day there will be so many farang men here, that they had to sit behind huge glass walls for the bgs to choose one.

Actually that was my post for another thread, which is closed at the meantime, but I could find something similar easily.

[Ijustwannateach]

Because this thread has gone hopelessly off-topic into bargirlology (which is not permitted despite the relaxed rules on the discussion of prostitution), it is now closed.