Sin ( Groan ) Sod For Previously Married Girl

[WeeGB]

Can we stop with the bad-mouthing of Isaan women, and get back to the topic in hand? It was running well until you lot showed up.

Having read the topic through, I'm totally convinced that the OP is going to set himself up for a life of financial misery, if he stays with this woman. From reading this forum for quite a few years now, it seems some men just won't listen to others experiences, and learn from them. The more I read of the OP's input, the more I'm convinced he should move on, and find himself another lady.

It must be obvious to the woman's family that he is besotted with her, and they are obviously out to extract every Baht they can from him. For me, it's worth testing her reaction, if he was to say the engagements off, and he was moving on from her, because of her family's demands. Seems the OP is in a no win situation. If he pays up, he will continue to pay in future, and if he doesn't pay, there will always be resentment towards him from her family, and probably her as well. Better to forget this woman and move on to someone else.

[gcrepos]

HI op

Sad to say but you are to really need to hold your cool try the true test of love ..!!!!! hold both yours & her traditional values together.... Sin sod is generally held for her future if doesn't work out there is a small fund she can rely upon to take her through any future breakup then she can run home & be cared for (a little insurance plan) in effect your being asked for 200k sin sod 100k loans 100k stashed often the father is fronted to be the bad guy ....haha but it is often the woman demanding the cash for her future via the father. Some families keep the money for these future events or will spend the money but realize there is a debt to the daughter to be repaid if there is a shortcoming I.E. divorce

Another attitude this SINSOD is compensation for the loss of labour & contribution to the household education ect.

• 1 Lets be real this girl wishes you to marry ( her choice )
  
• 2 pay her loan 100k very high for a teacher 55555 are you sure about this loan I would like to see statement of account details of the loan how & when accrued possible her ex-husbands debts along with the kids ( how else can she ask you to pay without marry )
  
• 3 100k SINSOd 2 hummm this is for keeps to Daddy very nice maybe help pick up fund IZUZU very suay
  
• 4 she wants you to take her to ozzy all expenses paid for a better life ( thats near 90k ) if her alone if the kids come omg
  
• 5 she will want to send any spare salary to home town when she has active employment in ozzy your expected to allow this after Sinsod 1 & 2 paid regardless
  

• 6 I think you need to ensure she is really Divorced often a village ceremony would be held but no real marriage documents filed

  could be a nice bonus to learn later husband old is still lurking in the background waiting the spoils of ill gotten gains

  
  

• NOw the help part for you
  
• if real love & happy to be co-operative with you I would suggest a payment plan of 2,000thb per month towards the verified government loan total 24k thb per year 7yr plan
  
  
• after 5 years & she has stuck it out maybe you can relax
  
• I certainly wouldn't allow up front loan clearance wow be nice hey
  
• 
  
• Some girls must think
  
  
• I am sure I can make some serious dosh huuummm pickup house few million bhat in divorce settlements a few sinsods wow5555555 some gold. serious business plan but requires serious planning meticulous scrutiny to detail for each poor sucker on his merits each case plan revised ...hehe
  

  serious education required for this spend 100k in loans & be paid 12-25k monthly not long to pay off huh 20yr

  
  

  
  

• how can i repay my loan my buddy said Bank of Farang very good rates suck lolly pop easy pain gone
  
• Seriously be careful all other posters with there wisdom advised you not to pay I think you can pay with a long term strategy in mind no need to pay in full immediately
  
• staged payments are fine I would suggest this to all who pay a sinsod this will keep in line with most traditions these larger sums paid over time will ensure the money last longer than being paid all at once (mao mao) less often I am trying to strike a balance here for the op
  
• Personally I think 100k is more than enough in total but I wouldn't pay in a lump sum
  
  
• her all in plan to marry & go to ozzy will be around 350,000thb no way
  
• keep a clear head strike a balance refuse up front payment as you dont have it make it clear will not happen be clear a second sinsod shouldnt be paid but the loan would be cleared over time keep her over the same barrel your over
  

[Lite Beer]

The next poster that makes derogatory and untrue remarks against Isaan Women will be facing a long holiday.

[canincm]

You've only been in Thailand for a year and a half. Listen to the posters on the forum.

You've only known this girl for a 10 months. Stay together for 10 more and see if you still feel the same way. Have you seen the paperwork for this loan? 100,000 sounds remarkably high.

[gcrepos]

I may use some fore thought & buy a buffalo doctor degree then I can get in on the action this is by all accounts one of the best paid jobs in LOs I don't think many posters will disagree

but 100k education loan not needed

I wonder where the money was really spent

I am sure there are records to prove that

[powderpuff]

Yours mine & ours.

Think about it. A marriage is a union. All the good all the bad & all the money & all the debts. If you pay that you are crazy.

[rgs2001uk]

The op is about to get f**ked over big time for at least 300,000 baht and he doesnt even know it.

Spoke with Thai men this evening, here is their answer.

OP pays 100,000 baht sin sot, with the following conditions,

pops gets to keep the sin sot, no need for any money to be returned, never mind the just for show bs,

pops to pay for the cost of the wedding and the piss up afterwards, he can invite all his freeloading mates around for a nose bag and free piss up and at the same time gain big face,

the op gets to keep all the envelope money the guests give at the wedding.

Upshot, the wedding plus sin sot and all costs cost the op no more than 100,000 baht, minus what he makes in envelope contibutions.

Pops keeps face, he is now the big man in the village, he just outsmarted the dumb farang buffalo for 100,000 baht. But has nothing to show for his endeavours.

Net result everyone happy.

BTW, gcrepos, great post.

[gcrepos]

I wasn't suggesting renting wife for 2,000thb a month

but if her debts are to be verified you need to clear over time

this is love care & devotion

[WeeGB]

Just had a word with one of my neices (Thai). She went away to Uni for 4 years, and owes around 20,000 Baht, which she is paying back every month, now that she is working. My wife and I happily helped out with her accomodation costs, at 10,000 baht a year, so where the OP's girlfriend gets the sum of 100,000 baht for educational debts, is frankly beyond me. (And possibly beyond belief).

[gcrepos]

The op is about to get f**ked over big time for at least 300,000 baht and he doesnt even know it.

Spoke with Thai men this evening, here is their answer.

OP pays 100,000 baht sin sot, with the following conditions,

pops gets to keep the sin sot, no need for any money to be returned, never mind the just for show bs,

pops to pay for the cost of the wedding and the piss up afterwards, he can invite all his freeloading mates around for a nose bag and free piss up and at the same time gain big face,

the op gets to keep all the envelope money the guests give at the wedding.

Upshot, the wedding plus sin sot and all costs cost the op no more than 100,000 baht, minus what he makes in envelope contibutions.

Pops keeps face, he is now the big man in the village, he just outsmarted the dumb farang buffalo for 100,000 baht. But has nothing to show for his endeavours.

Net result everyone happy.

BTW, gcrepos, great post.

I feel sometime we need to help the odd poor sucker from being shredded I love this response fantastic reply face is being preserved at all levels will they fall for it ( is it enough ) winner winner still love this post I need to be careful my turn soon battle of the sin sod commences soon for myself I like to post cuts to the thai gf just for future reference.555 but she's never married or had the kids but of the same age when I qualify as buffalo doctor maybe forget simple scams

[dumball]

Look at it this way OP , human trafficking is illegal , the fathers demand is just that , nothing more , nothing less , simply tell him you do not wish to break an INTERNATIONAL law .

[gcrepos]

Just had a word with one of my neices (Thai). She went away to Uni for 4 years, and owes around 20,000 Baht, which she is paying back every month, now that she is working. My wife and I happily helped out with her accomodation costs, at 10,000 baht a year, so where the OP's girlfriend gets the sum of 100,000 baht for educational debts, is frankly beyond me. (And possibly beyond belief).

This is the kind of valued input required to sort out some of these ridiculous claims regards costings

great useful input we all learn from as you may of read I was very dubious about this loan value considering she is no youngster this kind of debt one would expect after a masters degree onwards phd buffalo

[jimbeam1]

Hi, I haven't read all of this topic. Remember that when you marry her, you also take on her student loan. That makes Sin Sod 200,000. Tell them that when you can afford it you will pay off the 100,000 loan. They can class that as Sin Sod?

jb1

Sorry hadn't read Gcrepos post.

Edited January 29, 2010 by jimbeam1

[gcrepos]

Hi, I haven't read all of this topic. Remember that when you marry her, you also take on her student loan. That makes Sin Sod 200,000. Tell them that when you can afford it you will pay off the 100,000 loan. They can class that as Sin Sod?

jb1

Yes this has been mention many times but another will not hurt op but I am a real fan of the wedding settlement win win father get 100k pays wedding for all I don't think much change will be available coz if he skin flints will lose face to piss head crony buddies

[eurasianthai]

My wife is from Isaan, was never married before, had no children, but I did not pay a sin sod.

Not that I'm smarter than the average farang, I just was not asked to pay one.

And not sure married before or not has any meaning in the sin sod case actually.

With farangs, that is.

Edited January 29, 2010 by Farangrakthai

[WeeGB]

Thanks for the kind words gcrepos, you almost made me blush.

Your comment however, has got me thinking. If this lady went to University, and then to teacher training college, under normal circumstances, she would have finished at age 23-24. ( My neice was almost 22 when she finished her degree). So, if she has been working as a teacher, since then, (around 8 years - the OP states that she is 32), how come she still owes 100,000 Baht? As far as I'm aware, loans are paid back, once the student starts work, at an agreed amount every month. I believe my neice pays around 750 baht each month, and is steadily clearing her debt.

It seems the more one looks at this case, the more obvious it is that the chap is being taken for a ride.

[BigWheelMan]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Edited January 29, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[gcrepos]

My wife is from Isaan, was never married before, had no children, but I did not pay a sin sod.

Not that I'm smarter than the average farang, I just was not asked to pay one.

And not sure married before or not has any meaning in the sin sod case actually.

With farangs, that is.

I am sure there is a regard for age & equality involved I am currently waiting sentence to sin sod

my gf is reading to fight for hers I am sure... she is an issan girl no kids no previous marriage but i am 12yrs her senior not a lot..... not like some...........but she is educated & works as an accountant this means zero in the UK so her work prospects in the Uk wouldn't Reflect the benefits of marrying a UK girl of the same status work wise

this taken into account I await sentence

[GrahamF]

OP, as you're not willing to go the "If you insist I pay then the engagement is off!" route then I suggest you argue that while you respect Thai culture that they must respect your culture as well, especially as you plan on bringing her back to Oz.

I agree with the posters who have said that her father should pay for the wedding. I would then add that it is tradition in your culture that the brides parents pay for the airfares and accomodations of your close relatives who will be attending your wedding. I would also add that in your culture, often the brides parents give the new couple a substantial amount of money to help them on their way (dowry). Finally, you should make it clear that in your culture if you are seen to be "buying" your bride then you will lose face in front of your family and friends and in fact they may regard your wife as a "working girl" in some instances. Let them know that if they are willing to drop the issue of sin sod then out of respect to their culture you will be happy to overlook your cultural norm/issues as you deeply love their daughter. In fact, be magnanimous, and suggest that you would lose some face but you would be happy to buy a couple of cases of beer for the wedding party!

I know this might be stretching the truth a little bit, but I think demanding a second sin sod is as well. Fight fire with fire. The argument that you must respect Thai culture bears no weight if they will not respect yours.

[eurasianthai]

My wife is from Isaan, was never married before, had no children, but I did not pay a sin sod.

And well, for the people who do not know her, the vast majority, I guess, I do not mind sharing a bit of her http://www.farangrakthai.com/frt/Thailandb...hai-mother.aspx

And I want to add that if sin sod is a problem, do not marry the girl.

Would you want to marry a girl with whom you have a problem, and a major one, BEFORE you marry her?

[gcrepos]

Thanks for the kind words gcrepos, you almost made me blush.

Your comment however, has got me thinking. If this lady went to University, and then to teacher training college, under normal circumstances, she would have finished at age 23-24. ( My neice was almost 22 when she finished her degree). So, if she has been working as a teacher, since then, (around 8 years - the OP states that she is 32), how come she still owes 100,000 Baht? As far as I'm aware, loans are paid back, once the student starts work, at an agreed amount every month. I believe my neice pays around 750 baht each month, and is steadily clearing her debt.

It seems the more one looks at this case, the more obvious it is that the chap is being taken for a ride.

by jove we are to have this roller coaster ride figured my point exactly hehe sorry not clear & concise

please send marks to my tutor his buffalo training phd velly ards

any contribution accepted BS coins too......

<deleted> has she been doing to accrue such a debt she is supposed to pay it off not build it up

but i am a mere student buffalo degree was easy but doctorate is arder lol los

[gcrepos]

OP, as you're not willing to go the "If you insist I pay then the engagement is off!" route then I suggest you argue that while you respect Thai culture that they must respect your culture as well, especially as you plan on bringing her back to Oz.

I agree with the posters who have said that her father should pay for the wedding. I would then add that it is tradition in your culture that the brides parents pay for the airfares and accomodations of your close relatives who will be attending your wedding. I would also add that in your culture, often the brides parents give the new couple a substantial amount of money to help them on their way (dowry). Finally, you should make it clear that in your culture if you are seen to be "buying" your bride then you will lose face in front of your family and friends and in fact they may regard your wife as a "working girl" in some instances. Let them know that if they are willing to drop the issue of sin sod then out of respect to their culture you will be happy to overlook your cultural norm/issues as you deeply love their daughter. In fact, be magnanimous, and suggest that you would lose some face but you would be happy to buy a couple of cases of beer for the wedding party!

I know this might be stretching the truth a little bit, but I think demanding a second sin sod is as well. Fight fire with fire. The argument that you must respect Thai culture bears no weight if they will not respect yours.

I am inclined to agree about the comments regards the purchase of a bar girl kind of springs to mind in our euro cultured ideas but this seems to be disregarded by most families maybe they are to figure there culture comes first over the op's I do actually find the attitude repulsive .....I am working on my gf about this slowly ......very slow progress in fact.......but I have the idea if she does insist it best be a face saver such as suggested like this 100k wedding idea

[richm7]

Look, it seems to me that 100,000 baht is not a lot of money. Not to a farang, at least; if it is, he's in trouble anyway. Blimey, my ex in the US would dump that much on her credit card (which I, of course, paid) every bloody month, so get a sense of perspective.

Marriage is a gamble anywhere. The odds might not be quite so good in Thailand but they're skewed by too many marriages to the type of girl Lite Beer gets his knickers in a twist over and deletes the posts, so I won't mention them. We all know who they are. Accepting that risk and only (initially) having 100,000 baht at risk is small potatoes. As the French would say, "it's not worth f**king flies over". As for the 100,000 student loan, believe it or not the Thai system only allows for those loans to be paid back monthly, not in one lump, so it will take years to pay that off. She should be working in Oz by then and paying it herself anyway. I see so many posts here saying, effectively, don't pay and dump her a*se. I say digging your heels in over such a small sum is called cutting off your nose to spite your face. Most blokes in the west would happily drop five grand on a bloody rock, just for the engagement, and how much guarantee does that come with? You might legitimately argue that the same goes for her and she is digging her heels in over "just" 100,000. But, it's not "just" to her - up country it's a chunk of change - and she has the additional pressure from her family. Does her old man see a pot of gold? Sure he does, and in his situation, so would you, but calling it a "scam" is in my mind totally wrong and misleading.

I say if you love her and trust her, pay it. If she runs away after 3 months, put it down to experience and get it in perspective; you've "lost" the equivalent of a cheap fortnight in Thailand. If she does run, the 100,000 will be the last thing you'll be pining over anyway.

I'll have a little bet she'll respect you for doing it and you'll be OK. Go for it and I wish you all the best. Life is too short to agonize over a few dollars.

[gcrepos]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

I can see your views all taken into account please understand every case is different people can only answer for themselves

1. attractive nature

2. slim & sexy

3.long black hair

4.eager to please

5.great to share with

6. respectful

7.often younger than a euro counter part solution

8.kind & caring (same with kids)

9.hard working

10.happy to listen

apart from that ummm not sure but no-one wants a bad apple

[richm7]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Although you don't mention Thai women directly, I take it that be "these women" you are referring to Thai's (well, I guess the forum more or less dictates that!)

Big mistake in my opinion, because it is NOT a Thai phenomenen. It applies to any nationality. What IS often very different in Thailand (and indeed much of SE Asia) is that it involves and older man who has, let's be kind, seen better days, and a younger woman. Let's leave bargirls out of it so as not to muddy the waters. I'd argue that exactly the same scenario applies for that older, past his prime guy who is very well off and his blond bimbo 20 something girlfriend in the west. Accepting that Tiger Woods is hardly past his prime, so does not qualify in that respect,but do you think he'd have had his string of bimbo's if he'd been carrying the clubs instead of swinging them? Of course not. Think western taxi driver (not a dig at taxi drivers) in Thailand; he's in a similar situation inasmuch as he's relatively well off to a Thai girl therefore a (financially) attractive catch. Any of you old farts out there with a young Thai wife had better understand that very well. Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere. Does she love you? Quite possibly she has come to love you and, just like the West of years ago, the young girl/older guy relationship in Thailand is not unusual and is accepted by Thai's as such.

So, the fascination is that as an old fart you can find a younger, much younger, partner in Thailand when in the West you would not have a hope in hel_l. And I tip my cap to all you younger guys out there with Thai wives but with respect exclude you as, in the most part (there are always a few plonkers, I know), your relationship is "normal" i.e. boy meets girl of about the same age etc etc. I defy any normal red blooded male to be NOT fascinated by such attention. It's called human nature and hormones.

Finally, as I said in an earlier post, any marriage is a shit or bust situation involving emotional and financial risk. Thai women do not have an exclusive part to play in that production and that is for sure. Many of the blokes who find themselves in the situation you pour scorn upon have already been down that dreamworld path of normality you describe only to emerge emotionally batter and financially raped. And for that little episode there wasn't a Thai girl to be seen.

[eurasianthai]

Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere.

And well, if Brad Pitt had no money, he would have gotten nowhere either...

[richm7]

Well, not if he get's old, fat and bald for sure. I never had a problem with the farang birds when I was young, and Brad Pitt I was not, even then, let alone now!

Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere.

And well, if Brad Pitt had no money, he would have gotten nowhere either...

[BigWheelMan]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Although you don't mention Thai women directly, I take it that be "these women" you are referring to Thai's (well, I guess the forum more or less dictates that!)

Big mistake in my opinion, because it is NOT a Thai phenomenen. It applies to any nationality. What IS often very different in Thailand (and indeed much of SE Asia) is that it involves and older man who has, let's be kind, seen better days, and a younger woman. Let's leave bargirls out of it so as not to muddy the waters. I'd argue that exactly the same scenario applies for that older, past his prime guy who is very well off and his blond bimbo 20 something girlfriend in the west. Accepting that Tiger Woods is hardly past his prime, so does not qualify in that respect,but do you think he'd have had his string of bimbo's if he'd been carrying the clubs instead of swinging them? Of course not. Think western taxi driver (not a dig at taxi drivers) in Thailand; he's in a similar situation inasmuch as he's relatively well off to a Thai girl therefore a (financially) attractive catch. Any of you old farts out there with a young Thai wife had better understand that very well. Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere. Does she love you? Quite possibly she has come to love you and, just like the West of years ago, the young girl/older guy relationship in Thailand is not unusual and is accepted by Thai's as such.

So, the fascination is that as an old fart you can find a younger, much younger, partner in Thailand when in the West you would not have a hope in hel_l. And I tip my cap to all you younger guys out there with Thai wives but with respect exclude you as, in the most part (there are always a few plonkers, I know), your relationship is "normal" i.e. boy meets girl of about the same age etc etc. I defy any normal red blooded male to be NOT fascinated by such attention. It's called human nature and hormones.

Finally, as I said in an earlier post, any marriage is a shit or bust situation involving emotional and financial risk. Thai women do not have an exclusive part to play in that production and that is for sure. Many of the blokes who find themselves in the situation you pour scorn upon have already been down that dreamworld path of normality you describe only to emerge emotionally batter and financially raped. And for that little episode there wasn't a Thai girl to be seen.

You make some good points, but most of what you say is already common knowledge.

Everyone has the right to run their lives in their own way. What others do is not my business, but this sort of arrangement wouldn't suit me.

Unfortunately I see these kinds of relationships becoming acceptable as the norm. The woman of no wealth, who prefers not to progress herself by study, working or obtaining a career, but instead seeks to fast track her life progress by playing the role as a partner to some sad old gullible guy or some sad loner who is lacking in appeal and has zilch chance of finding a partner in his own country.

These guys are prime targets and more than willing to play the game.

Good luck to them, if they wish to live a life of make believe in their own little pretend world.

I have always considered myself as having the common sense not to become involved with this sort of crap and will never understand the way of thinking of these people.

Edited January 29, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[richm7]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Although you don't mention Thai women directly, I take it that be "these women" you are referring to Thai's (well, I guess the forum more or less dictates that!)

Big mistake in my opinion, because it is NOT a Thai phenomenen. It applies to any nationality. What IS often very different in Thailand (and indeed much of SE Asia) is that it involves and older man who has, let's be kind, seen better days, and a younger woman. Let's leave bargirls out of it so as not to muddy the waters. I'd argue that exactly the same scenario applies for that older, past his prime guy who is very well off and his blond bimbo 20 something girlfriend in the west. Accepting that Tiger Woods is hardly past his prime, so does not qualify in that respect,but do you think he'd have had his string of bimbo's if he'd been carrying the clubs instead of swinging them? Of course not. Think western taxi driver (not a dig at taxi drivers) in Thailand; he's in a similar situation inasmuch as he's relatively well off to a Thai girl therefore a (financially) attractive catch. Any of you old farts out there with a young Thai wife had better understand that very well. Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere. Does she love you? Quite possibly she has come to love you and, just like the West of years ago, the young girl/older guy relationship in Thailand is not unusual and is accepted by Thai's as such.

So, the fascination is that as an old fart you can find a younger, much younger, partner in Thailand when in the West you would not have a hope in hel_l. And I tip my cap to all you younger guys out there with Thai wives but with respect exclude you as, in the most part (there are always a few plonkers, I know), your relationship is "normal" i.e. boy meets girl of about the same age etc etc. I defy any normal red blooded male to be NOT fascinated by such attention. It's called human nature and hormones.

Finally, as I said in an earlier post, any marriage is a shit or bust situation involving emotional and financial risk. Thai women do not have an exclusive part to play in that production and that is for sure. Many of the blokes who find themselves in the situation you pour scorn upon have already been down that dreamworld path of normality you describe only to emerge emotionally batter and financially raped. And for that little episode there wasn't a Thai girl to be seen.

You make some good points, but most of what you say is already common knowledge.

Everyone has the right to run their lives in their own way. What others do is not my business, but this sort of arrangement wouldn't suit me.

Unfortunately I see these kinds of relationships becoming acceptable as the norm. The woman of no wealth, who prefers not to progress herself by study, working or obtaining a career, but instead seeks to fast track her life progress by playing the role as a partner to some sad old gullible guy or some sad loner who is lacking in appeal and has zilch chance of finding a partner in his own country.

These guys are prime targets and more than willing to play the game.

Good luck to them, if they wish to live a life of make believe in their own little pretend world.

I have always considered myself as having the common sense not to become involved with this sort of crap and will never understand the way of thinking of these people.

Well BWM, not so common knowledge judging by some of the posts here!

And of course I respect your right to run your life your own way and "not get involved" with this kind of situation. I hope I never said or implied otherwise.

If I may be so bold I think you are being a little unkind to the women who latch on to a (relatively) wealthy older foreigner. For many of them it is not about a fast track; as things stand, they have not much of a track at all, even those with (questionable quality) Thai university degrees, let alone a village girl without a degree or maybe even a high school education. The class structure in Thailand is such that opportunities to do much more than scrape by are limited for all but a few. Yes, I know someone can pull an exception out of the hat; they always exist, but for the majority it is an all too painful reality. So, even a degreed girl with a regular (perhaps 15k baht/month) job who gets the opportunity to improve her position in life by marrying an older foreigner cannot, in my opinion, be blamed. Is it opportunistic? Yes, of course. For both parties, in my opinion.

As always, caveat emptor.

[gcrepos]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Although you don't mention Thai women directly, I take it that be "these women" you are referring to Thai's (well, I guess the forum more or less dictates that!)

Big mistake in my opinion, because it is NOT a Thai phenomenen. It applies to any nationality. What IS often very different in Thailand (and indeed much of SE Asia) is that it involves and older man who has, let's be kind, seen better days, and a younger woman. Let's leave bargirls out of it so as not to muddy the waters. I'd argue that exactly the same scenario applies for that older, past his prime guy who is very well off and his blond bimbo 20 something girlfriend in the west. Accepting that Tiger Woods is hardly past his prime, so does not qualify in that respect,but do you think he'd have had his string of bimbo's if he'd been carrying the clubs instead of swinging them? Of course not. Think western taxi driver (not a dig at taxi drivers) in Thailand; he's in a similar situation inasmuch as he's relatively well off to a Thai girl therefore a (financially) attractive catch. Any of you old farts out there with a young Thai wife had better understand that very well. Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere. Does she love you? Quite possibly she has come to love you and, just like the West of years ago, the young girl/older guy relationship in Thailand is not unusual and is accepted by Thai's as such.

So, the fascination is that as an old fart you can find a younger, much younger, partner in Thailand when in the West you would not have a hope in hel_l. And I tip my cap to all you younger guys out there with Thai wives but with respect exclude you as, in the most part (there are always a few plonkers, I know), your relationship is "normal" i.e. boy meets girl of about the same age etc etc. I defy any normal red blooded male to be NOT fascinated by such attention. It's called human nature and hormones.

Finally, as I said in an earlier post, any marriage is a shit or bust situation involving emotional and financial risk. Thai women do not have an exclusive part to play in that production and that is for sure. Many of the blokes who find themselves in the situation you pour scorn upon have already been down that dreamworld path of normality you describe only to emerge emotionally batter and financially raped. And for that little episode there wasn't a Thai girl to be seen.

You make some good points, but most of what you say is already common knowledge.

Everyone has the right to run their lives in their own way. What others do is not my business, but this sort of arrangement wouldn't suit me.

Unfortunately I see these kinds of relationships becoming acceptable as the norm. The woman of no wealth, who prefers not to progress herself by study, working or obtaining a career, but instead seeks to fast track her life progress by playing the role as a partner to some sad old gullible guy or some sad loner who is lacking in appeal and has zilch chance of finding a partner in his own country.

These guys are prime targets and more than willing to play the game.

Good luck to them, if they wish to live a life of make believe in their own little pretend world.

I have always considered myself as having the common sense not to become involved with this sort of crap and will never understand the way of thinking of these people.

Get a Life you presume far to much not all are batting far above their average .....ie we can score in our home towns dont you lose sire of that we are not all losers I could easily prejudice you & judge you as a simple 2 bit bus driver without any brains but I would be very stupid to do please refrain from using silly logic

often western marriages are within 0-12yr of each other with similar hurdle jumping as per quoted included care being exercised or caution .....what ever you call needs to used regards any social status you chose to apply charles & diana or camilla haha wakeup please

money or no money

love or no love please remember posters here are to have feelings flame your own cost coz you don't approve & some of the relationships that don't fit you prefabricated moulds....doesn't make you morally correct unless you have the correct formula that works 100% wind yer neck in a little maybe you can learn a little