My 4yr Old Daugher Asks, Why Teacher Hurt My Heart.

[Gerontion]

This topic should just end on this:

WHY would you send your kid to a cheap thai school when you have the chance to send a third worlder to a good school in a good country and come back to his own country where she will be able to make a ton of money or educate her people?

If you cant afford it, you shouldnt of had children in the first place.. Poor kids get made fun of their whole life unless they goto a really crappy school. and if people tease her her whole life she will end up troubled. and this is all your fault

You're talking shit. My wife went to Thai government schools and has both an MA and a PhD from one of the better British universities. And a pretty large proportion of her friends did exactly the same. By the same token, I went to a very expensive school in England and I've achieved pretty much fuc_k all and on top of that, I don't have two pennies to rub together. It's pure bullshit to suggest that going to a school in Britain, America, or wherever, is going to mean that she'll automatically 'make a ton of money'.British and American schools have their share of wasters, Thai schools have their share of high achievers.

And calling Thais third worlders is pure trolling.

Edited January 30, 2010 by Gerontion

[rixalex]

You're talking shit. My wife went to Thai government schools and has both an MA and a PhD from one of the better British universities. And a pretty large proportion of her friends did exactly the same. By the same token, I went to a very expensive school in England and I've achieved pretty much fuc_k all and on top of that, I don't have two pennies to rub together. It's pure bullshit to suggest that going to a school in Britain, America, or wherever, is going to mean that she'll automatically 'make a ton of money'.British and American schools have their share of wasters, Thai schools have their share of high achievers.

And calling Thais third worlders is pure trolling.

Could not agree more.

[Gerontion]

About me? Cheers!

[Kitsch22]

"fatty" for example. I bet you all had a "Fatty <insert last name>" in your school.

I bet that you were not "fatty", or you would not take it so lightly.

But in Thailand it is unexceptional for people to be fixed with a chue len (the common name by which they are known for life), frequently descriptive, which westerners would find terribly politically incorrect. "Fatty", "Frog", "Pig", "Manure" and so forth are commonplace.

Why cannot the OP simply explain to his daughter that: "Na Falang suay maak"?

[chiangmaibruce]

Good topic and I can see a few more pages being added before this one dies a death.

Our boy (also 4) came home from school one day last year frequently saying "farang noi". Unlike the OP's daughter however he wasn't insulted, upset or put off school in the least. In fact he almost seemed proud of his special name. We didn't react in any way (other than asking him where he heard that). This went on for a few days (him saying "farang noi" at home) and we did then speak to the head teacher (there were four teachers in his class). She denied that she had used this term or that another teacher had, and I think my wife made it clear (in a quiet polite Thai way) that we felt that using this term was inappropriate. The matter was left at that and soon it was a dead issue (he stopped saying it). In our case we just felt it was wrong - especially at that very early age - for teachers to pigeon-hole/label kids like this - and doubly so (presumably) in front of all the other pupils.

We were otherwise very happy with the school. I really don't think there was any malice intended at all ... he/she/whoever had simply not thought through the wisdom or implications of what they were saying/doing. Hopefully after we raised it with them then they may give it more thought in the future.

[Heng]

I'm glad to hear it's just a case of bullying and not some other sort of teacher abuse (which was my first thought after reading the thread title). I bullied and got bullied in school. IMO it's a serious to semi-serious issue, but if you take a proactive approach with your kid, it'll all even out in the end. IMO it's the kids whose parents aren't paying attention who are most unfortunate in these situations, which apparently you are not.

[WarpSpeed]

Unfortunately whatever sticks out that is different than the majority will be picked on!

Conversely that's what makes her special and unique and most certainly not inferior so reinforce and accentuate that..

[rixalex]

But in Thailand it is unexceptional for people to be fixed with a chue len (the common name by which they are known for life), frequently descriptive, which westerners would find terribly politically incorrect. "Fatty", "Frog", "Pig", "Manure" and so forth are commonplace.

Why cannot the OP simply explain to his daughter that: "Na Falang suay maak"?

Nickname thing is a bit different because they are given at birth usually.

But it is true that Thais tend to be a lot more frank with each other, and don't usually take great offence at this frankness. For example, where most of us come from, it is highly taboo to tell a woman that she's looking a bit podgy today. Not so here - not with the Thais i meet anyway.

I really don't think malice is intended with the way they speak, and i don't think the term farang used in the classroom would have been said with spite or intended as an insult. Living in the West though many of us have been taught to be super sensitive about all this stuff.

As the Thais would say, "don't think too much".

Edited January 30, 2010 by rixalex

[473geo]

I just wonder - ok think too much.......

A child is born in Thailand.......that child is reared and brought up in Thailand......therfore is that child not Thai?

With a foreign parent?

Would that child not find it confusing to find some people did not consider them to be Thai?

[JusMe]

I'll agree with Murgatroyd's post (won't quote it all here).

First reaction is to go in all guns blazing and take no prisoners! Love to do that!

But step back, take a deep breath, and realize that you can save the ammunition for later, if it's needed then.

First, quiet word to the teacher about the unprofessional behaviour of using that kind of terminology with a child.

If nothing positive happens, then a word up the line, as far as the line extends, and slowly increasing firepower as you move up the line. If a HeadMaster gets a full blast, you can be sure it will have reverberations back down the line!

Final, and least desirable option, is changing schools, but may become necessary.

Whatever happens, you cannot allow your daughter to feel this way about her teacher.

As for the other children, if they're not encouraged by the teacher, the behaviour is likely to simply fade away. And children will behave that way to others to get a reaction, too. But they're all four year olds, and not smacking each other, so be easy about the children's behaviour.

But do go after the teacher's behaviour. It is fundamentally unacceptable from anyone who claims to be a professional educator.

[Gerontion]

Living in the West though many of us have been taught to be super sensitive about all this stuff.

It's obviously hard to know about any specific case - as someone said, kids get picked on for anything which differs from the norm - too short, too tall, too fat, too thin - but I think part of the problem with being called farang stems from the fact that white westerners have never had to acknowledge the fact they even have a race. For many of them they're the zero-point of race. Whites are the absence of race so coming to somewhere like Thailand where, for most of use, for the first time you're picked out by your race and nothing else...well, it's pretty disconcerting. And I think this can rub off on children.

But it is true that Thais tend to be a lot more frank with each other, and don't usually take great offence at this frankness. For example, where most of us come from, it is highly taboo to tell a woman that she's looking a bit podgy today. Not so here - not with the Thais i meet anyway.

This is very true. "Oh! You're looking much fatter and older!" isn't exactly how I look forward to being greeted...

[WarpSpeed]

As she is only 4 years young it's actually way too early to send to school, a bad habit here to send this littles ones to school, they should stay near the mother and family and spend time on playing and socializing with friends, not on learning. Wait with school until she is 7 if you want her to be mantally stable when she is grown up.

If he does that in a Thai school she will be waaaaaay behind all the other kids, I kind of agree with you that they should wait but if the kid is in the Thai School System they should probably start with the other kids especially in light of the complexity of the language.

It's required, if she does not go to preschool she can not go primary school, etc.....

[Garry9999]

I just wonder - ok think too much.......

A child is born in Thailand.......that child is reared and brought up in Thailand......therfore is that child not Thai?

With a foreign parent?

Would that child not find it confusing to find some people did not consider them to be Thai?

Burmese born in Thailand are not considered Thai. Many Thais don't even consider people from Isaan to be Thai.

[rixalex]

Would that child not find it confusing to find some people did not consider them to be Thai?

Confusing? Perhaps.

Damaging? No.

At the end of the day, the child's DNA will bless them with far more positivity than negativity throughout their life. Being called a farang at times won't change that, nor will it mentally scar them for life. It's only a big deal if you want it to be.

[kitiya1980]

Ok sorry to hear that ur lil gal got upset as a teacher (i was) but people still calling me teacher i'd say ur lil gal's teacher being silly she shouldnt behave like that ...that makes other kids follow wot she does and think its nothing wrong with that.

I live in this country i can say that many many thais seem to pay attention to looks so much look back in the past i was ...wot people called me ugly dark skin and fat kid so i never had a chance to join events teacher's day or show on the stage that made me think something's wrong with me its that horrible? from kindergarten, primary school and elementary school...so yes only good looking kids got a chance to be on the show but yes i was a kid its normal to get upset over that stuff i was too young to know but now i understand JUST THE WAY IT IS in this country so i got bad impression about schools recently i got nightmares u know wot its all about? haha yes about me went back to schools back...like time machine and i cried as hel_l.

For example me i'm a thai and abit overweight but not that bad just because i'm bigger than them and they call me fat they aint afraid to call me fat but make fun with my figure too even they dont know me before especially thai men being friendly at first place then start making fun with my figure ask about my weight they dont know me well enuff so i just ignored them well i avoid to talk to them too i mostly talk to female wot i think their parents dont teach them good about manner i tell u wot my neighbour he's german married with thai lady he got 1 son 11 yo well mannered i was impressed many kids in village dirty mouth but not this half thai-german boy he talks nice to me very polite when i was talking to his dad he never disturb he doesnt make fun with other people being ugly or poor etc. and i think this teacher when he/she was a kid ...haha sorry i dont know him or her but i think u know wot i mean.

I wish u and ur family all the best and cheer up lil gal dont be sad

Kit

Edited January 30, 2010 by kitiya1980

[473geo]

I just wonder - ok think too much.......

A child is born in Thailand.......that child is reared and brought up in Thailand......therfore is that child not Thai?

With a foreign parent?

Would that child not find it confusing to find some people did not consider them to be Thai?

Burmese born in Thailand are not considered Thai. Many Thais don't even consider people from Isaan to be Thai.

I find that interesting.....I would go into that comment further....but not in this topic.

[gvallee2]

Ok sorry to hear that ur lil gal got upset as a teacher (i was) but people still calling me teacher i'd say ur lil gal's teacher being silly she shouldnt behave like that ...that makes other kids follow wot she does and think its nothing wrong with that.

I live in this country i can say that many many thais seem to pay attention to looks so much look back in the past i was ...wot people called me ugly dark skin and fat kid so i never had a chance to join events teacher's day or show on the stage that made me think something's wrong with me its that horrible? from kindergarten, primary school and elementary school...so yes only good looking kids got a chance to be on the show but yes i was a kid its normal to get upset over that stuff i was too young to know but now i understand JUST THE WAY IT IS in this country so i got bad impression about schools recently i got nightmares u know wot its all about? haha yes about me went back to schools back...like time machine and i cried as hel_l.

For example me i'm a thai and abit overweight but not that bad just because i'm bigger than them and they call me fat they aint afraid to call me fat but make fun with my figure too even they dont know me before especially thai men being friendly at first place then start making fun with my figure ask about my weight they dont know me well enuff so i just ignored them well i avoid to talk to them too i mostly talk to female wot i think their parents dont teach them good about manner i tell u wot my neighbour he's german married with thai lady he got 1 son 11 yo well mannered i was impressed many kids in village dirty mouth but not this half thai-german boy he talks nice to me very polite when i was talking to his dad he never disturb he doesnt make fun with other people being ugly or poor etc. and i think this teacher when he/she was a kid ...haha sorry i dont know him or her but i think u know wot i mean.

I wish u and ur family all the best and cheer up lil gal dont be sad

Kit

Oh dear..

You get made fun of because you are overweight

So you find a way to seclude yourself from the world instead of just losing the weight?

oh the 21st century...

[Tonto21]

Good luck on Monday, I hope you make some headway at the school.

One thing! As already posted, please, do you daughter a solid and stop teaching her to talk Pidgin English, it’s embarrassing, do you really want this little girl to grow up talking English like you? “Kuss that’s wattal appen”

Firstly, language is one of the things small children excel at, don’t you hold her back. Secondly if anyone who understands English overhears a conversation between you and your little girl will think she’s looking after you!

Have a good meeting on Monday and you wife going Kung poo on that teacher’s ass. Maybe you can post some vid of the event on youtube.

[Tonto21]

Ok sorry to hear that ur lil gal got upset as a teacher (i was) but people still calling me teacher i'd say ur lil gal's teacher being silly she shouldnt behave like that ...that makes other kids follow wot she does and think its nothing wrong with that.

I live in this country i can say that many many thais seem to pay attention to looks so much look back in the past i was ...wot people called me ugly dark skin and fat kid so i never had a chance to join events teacher's day or show on the stage that made me think something's wrong with me its that horrible? from kindergarten, primary school and elementary school...so yes only good looking kids got a chance to be on the show but yes i was a kid its normal to get upset over that stuff i was too young to know but now i understand JUST THE WAY IT IS in this country so i got bad impression about schools recently i got nightmares u know wot its all about? haha yes about me went back to schools back...like time machine and i cried as hel_l.

For example me i'm a thai and abit overweight but not that bad just because i'm bigger than them and they call me fat they aint afraid to call me fat but make fun with my figure too even they dont know me before especially thai men being friendly at first place then start making fun with my figure ask about my weight they dont know me well enuff so i just ignored them well i avoid to talk to them too i mostly talk to female wot i think their parents dont teach them good about manner i tell u wot my neighbour he's german married with thai lady he got 1 son 11 yo well mannered i was impressed many kids in village dirty mouth but not this half thai-german boy he talks nice to me very polite when i was talking to his dad he never disturb he doesnt make fun with other people being ugly or poor etc. and i think this teacher when he/she was a kid ...haha sorry i dont know him or her but i think u know wot i mean.

I wish u and ur family all the best and cheer up lil gal dont be sad

Kit

Oh dear..

You get made fun of because you are overweight

So you find a way to seclude yourself from the world instead of just losing the weight?

oh the 21st century...

Hello Kit!

Do you need to talk?

Did someone steel you lunch money all them years ago, whip your pants down in the gym, (that happened to my mate, the whole school was there…. Very funny) or got your head stuck down the loo? If you have a problem and you can’t seem to get past it, I have the answer for you……Why not lash out at everyone and anyone (anonymously of course) who bears there sole, Oooo you’ve tried that! How’s it working out for you?

Maybe your not damaged your just one of them people that should carry a visible health warning sign.

[hawthorne]

Maybe already suggested:

Go into this meeting on Monday fully expecting to come back. Keep it very cordial and let the Headmaster know what happened without getting visibly upset. Let them know that your child is to be called by a specific name and refered to only by this name.

Let him/her know also that you want the teacher to enforce this name recognition to be enforced in the classroom among the students. You can then go into all the details you want about how demeaning this is and what not but you will not change culture over night. But if you do not start and other parents do not start it will never change.

Being confrontational is a sure way of making an enemy that will not be sympathetic to your cause. Win this Headmaster over. Become more involved in the school. Maybe you can even start an awarness program within the teaching body down the road once you have befriended the staff.

I feel your pain and rightfully you want to kick a little arse but what good does it do for your daughter? Really keep her out of this she is only 4. Do not make it a big issue with her. If your wife gets upset every time she talks about it the child reacts.

Children are tough and with great parents they can over come anything.

Best to your little girl

[Tonto21]

Hello Kit! Do you need to talk?

Did someone steel you lunch money all them years ago, whip your pants down in the gym, (that happened to my mate, the whole school was there…. Very funny) or got your head stuck down the loo? If you have a problem and you can't seem to get past it, I have the answer for you……Why not lash out at everyone and anyone (anonymously of course) who bears there sole, Oooo you've tried that! How's it working out for you?

Maybe your not damaged your just one of them people that should carry a visible health warning sign.

Above reads: Hi Kit..............Should read Hi gvallee2

Sorry Kit.

[gvallee2]

Maybe already suggested:

Go into this meeting on Monday fully expecting to come back. Keep it very cordial and let the Headmaster know what happened without getting visibly upset. Let them know that your child is to be called by a specific name and refered to only by this name.

Let him/her know also that you want the teacher to enforce this name recognition to be enforced in the classroom among the students. You can then go into all the details you want about how demeaning this is and what not but you will not change culture over night. But if you do not start and other parents do not start it will never change.

Being confrontational is a sure way of making an enemy that will not be sympathetic to your cause. Win this Headmaster over. Become more involved in the school. Maybe you can even start an awarness program within the teaching body down the road once you have befriended the staff.

I feel your pain and rightfully you want to kick a little arse but what good does it do for your daughter? Really keep her out of this she is only 4. Do not make it a big issue with her. If your wife gets upset every time she talks about it the child reacts.

Children are tough and with great parents they can over come anything.

Best to your little girl

You guys are crazy

Remember this is a public thai school where the teacher are the same immature people on motorbikes that wont look in their mirrors when they jump in front of 5 cars at 5km/h when everyone is going 70+ and that watch soap show where all you see is people screaming about sex with relatives and food. They're not exactly the elite of thailand.

They also HAVE to deal with english teachers on a daily basis, just that is enough to shoot yourself.

[StreetCowboy]

Maybe already suggested:

Go into this meeting on Monday fully expecting to come back. Keep it very cordial and let the Headmaster know what happened without getting visibly upset. Let them know that your child is to be called by a specific name and refered to only by this name.

Let him/her know also that you want the teacher to enforce this name recognition to be enforced in the classroom among the students. You can then go into all the details you want about how demeaning this is and what not but you will not change culture over night. But if you do not start and other parents do not start it will never change.

Being confrontational is a sure way of making an enemy that will not be sympathetic to your cause. Win this Headmaster over. Become more involved in the school. Maybe you can even start an awarness program within the teaching body down the road once you have befriended the staff.

I feel your pain and rightfully you want to kick a little arse but what good does it do for your daughter? Really keep her out of this she is only 4. Do not make it a big issue with her. If your wife gets upset every time she talks about it the child reacts.

Children are tough and with great parents they can over come anything.

Best to your little girl

Sound advice from someone who cares.

Please be calm, restrained and polite. Your daughter doesn't need an enemy for a teacher; that would be worse than an idiot. And losing your temper won't make them any less an idiot.

SC

[rixalex]

watch soap show where all you see is people screaming about sex with relatives and food

Sex with relatives and food???

P.U.I. by any chance?

[kitiya1980]

Read current post.

Edited January 30, 2010 by kitiya1980

[kitiya1980]

Ok sorry to hear that ur lil gal got upset as a teacher (i was) but people still calling me teacher i'd say ur lil gal's teacher being silly she shouldnt behave like that ...that makes other kids follow wot she does and think its nothing wrong with that.

I live in this country i can say that many many thais seem to pay attention to looks so much look back in the past i was ...wot people called me ugly dark skin and fat kid so i never had a chance to join events teacher's day or show on the stage that made me think something's wrong with me its that horrible? from kindergarten, primary school and elementary school...so yes only good looking kids got a chance to be on the show but yes i was a kid its normal to get upset over that stuff i was too young to know but now i understand JUST THE WAY IT IS in this country so i got bad impression about schools recently i got nightmares u know wot its all about? haha yes about me went back to schools back...like time machine and i cried as hel_l.

For example me i'm a thai and abit overweight but not that bad just because i'm bigger than them and they call me fat they aint afraid to call me fat but make fun with my figure too even they dont know me before especially thai men being friendly at first place then start making fun with my figure ask about my weight they dont know me well enuff so i just ignored them well i avoid to talk to them too i mostly talk to female wot i think their parents dont teach them good about manner i tell u wot my neighbour he's german married with thai lady he got 1 son 11 yo well mannered i was impressed many kids in village dirty mouth but not this half thai-german boy he talks nice to me very polite when i was talking to his dad he never disturb he doesnt make fun with other people being ugly or poor etc. and i think this teacher when he/she was a kid ...haha sorry i dont know him or her but i think u know wot i mean.

I wish u and ur family all the best and cheer up lil gal dont be sad

Kit

Oh dear..

You get made fun of because you are overweight

So you find a way to seclude yourself from the world instead of just losing the weight?

oh the 21st century...

HAHA seclude? u wish? and I'm fine hey u seem to have problem with my post huh? i was telling about my story so wot? u judged me already? ok i guess u arent different with those kids dirty mouth then if u got nothing nice to say in here then just shut the f up and go get a life cause we are here sharing talking by the way i recommend u to listen to Lilly Allen's song "fuc k u" haha there u go! with lyrics help u to understand better :P

Please stop this if u still want to be here.

Edited January 30, 2010 by kitiya1980

[on-on]

The child has complained to her parents about being picked on and bullied by a teacher, who is clearly giving the lead for other children in the class to follow.

My response would be to meet with the Head Teacher, and face to face with the teacher concerned to get her behavior sorted out. If the Head Teacher is not willing to back you on this then move your child to another school.

That others in this thread are offering excuses for the Thai teacher is yet another indication of how many foreigners loose their compass when they arrive at BKK Airport.

I disagree only in that the person above you who said the first attempt to address this should be congenial was more correct in my opinion. On the internet everyone wants everything to be confrontational, but it's better to approach situations like this more openly until you ascertain the intent. If you go in and nicely explain what's going on and ask kindly for the behavior to change it might work and you don't cause a negative situation that could have ramifications. If the behavior doesn't change you can still bring things to a head afterward and you don't lose anything except maybe a week's time waiting to see what happens.

Edited January 30, 2010 by on-on

[kitiya1980]

Hi there Tonto21

Ok man thanks for the explanation u are cool thanks for sending me email aswell and i totally agree with u about wot u said to that sad dude gvallee2 lol i hope u guys love the song that i dedicated to him lol man i cant stop laughing

[473geo]

Hi there Tonto21

Ok man thanks for the explanation u are cool thanks for sending me email aswell and i totally agree with u about wot u said to that sad dude gvallee2 lol i hope u guys love the song that i dedicated to him lol man i cant stop laughing

Loved the song... .....most applicable.....

[richm7]

"fatty" for example. I bet you all had a "Fatty <insert last name>" in your school.

I bet that you were not "fatty", or you would not take it so lightly.

No, not a fatty, but I do have sticking out ears (not a problem in Thailand, they all do!!!) and I was ribbed relentlessly over it. Let's see......."dumbo" (of course), "open taxi doors", indeed, any opportunity they could find. Did it affect me? Heck no, it made me stronger, helped me develop my own line in cutting responses. On growing up I could have easily got them fixed but I did not, because they are me, that's just the way I am. Just as a "na farang" or a "farang dam" should be proud of the fact that they're not just one of the herd, they're different and special. That's the message that they should be given, not to react by getting litigious over trivial and benign remarks.

I still maintain that "Na farang" is in fact complimentary. The OP needs to see it as such. In fact, I wouldn't mind betting the teacher will claim that. What next, calling a kid "handsome' or "beautiful" becoming a crime? Give me a break.