The Real Heros

[lovelomsak]

I feel it is time someone stated the obvious to many people who donot understand the goodness of many fine men in the world.

There are non government organizations out there stating they wish to save the women Thailand from prostitution and bar work. And there are single guys who travel halfway across the world and marry them to do the samething.

Now lets get things in perspective ok.

Heros the guys plain and simple.

I wish to list the reasons the guiys are the heros.

(1) The ngo is funded.

The single man does all his own funding.

(2) The ngo worker is in all probability getting paid for time and travel. They get a job out of it and travel very nice indeed.

Again the singleman pays his own way.

(3) The ngo as a group may save a few and do public politics with the few they assist. See (2) make money and travel.

Everyday single men marrying and giving them new lives with no recognition.

(4) The ngo feels this makes them pillars of the community. GAG.

The singleman has to deal with prejudice and misconceptions and often is openly abused for marrying a woman of such status.

(5) The ngo is applauded for good work. GAG

The singleman is attacked and criticized by bigots.

(6) The ngo gets community support.

The singleman has to intergrate his wife into her new life by himself.

(7) The ngo is revered as a savior.

The singleman is dealt with as a person who makes poor decisions.

(8) Ngo workers in my opinion are worse than whoremongers. They play the people for their own benefit and get little results.Politicing.

The singleman actually do the humanitarian thing and get little support and only benefit is personal satisfation.

To summarize.

Next time you see a man with his bargirl wife look at him as a savior of a lost soul if you wish. At the very least see him as a person who helps others with little reward.

I feel way more women are taken out of the sex trade by singlmen than by all ngo combined.

The singleman only gets support from other men . Most women when they know the wives history are of no assistance.Hipocritics.

In a perfect world these men would be saints.

What do others think about this is there truth in this or not.

JIng take a poll.

[way2muchcoffee]

Interesting take on things. Smacks a bit of the white knight syndrome, but worthy of some thought anyway.

[Bartman]

Well said!

Unfortunately this is not the case for all men with ex-bar girls, but I hope I represents the majority

[Donnyboy]

substitute the word "single man" insert "sucker" and thats the perception out there

[lovelomsak]

substitute the word "single man" insert "sucker" and thats the perception out there

exactly my point they get no respect

but why?

[eek]

substitute the word "single man" insert "sucker" and thats the perception out there

exactly my point they get no respect

but why?

Possibly because of the presumed way he may have met his wife in the first place? Being a part of the bar scene. Paying for sex. Etc.

Personally im not sure how marrying a woman through her place of work (whatever work it may be) makes a man some kind of hero. But if it gives you an ego boost, then enjoy.

[lovelomsak]

substitute the word "single man" insert "sucker" and thats the perception out there

exactly my point they get no respect

but why?

Possibly because of the presumed way he may have met his wife in the first place? Being a part of the bar scene. Paying for sex. Etc.

Personally im not sure how marrying a woman through her place of work (whatever work it may be) makes a man some kind of hero. But if it gives you an ego boost, then enjoy.

Hopefully I can clarify just a bit more so hard to state it all in one short message. I was trying to show how ngo compared to men who marry women in that employment and showing how the singlemen marrying them do more than ngo and get little support for their actions . I was trying to point out the error of ngo politics versus reality.

[Xangsamhua]

substitute the word "single man" insert "sucker" and thats the perception out there

exactly my point they get no respect

but why?

Possibly because of the presumed way he may have met his wife in the first place? Being a part of the bar scene. Paying for sex. Etc.

Personally im not sure how marrying a woman through her place of work (whatever work it may be) makes a man some kind of hero. But if it gives you an ego boost, then enjoy.

Interesting comment, Eek. If the woman (or girl - some may be very young) is placed in this work reluctantly, a helping hand out would be good. If, however, she chooses this work viewing it as having potential for marriage to a wealthier and more socially mobile man than the ones in her own community, then that's part of her business plan, isn't it? Sometimes these plans work; sometimes they don't - that's the risk you take.

[eek]

Just to make it clear, im not giving my own PERSONAL opinion on this, I am giving a generalised viewpoint. (Its just never worth getting into a debate about it all, particularly seeing as im up against a huge percentage of male forum users many of which go to prostitutes, so any reasoned discussion usually turns into some kind of bar brawl)

In your analogy by saying a man saves a woman from the prostitution scene assumes she needs saving. If she needs saving, then the "bar scene" is then presumably not a good place for women. They if a man is part of the "bar scene" he is presumably adding to the problem. Taking one girl out of a scene he helped thrive, after using the services of girls in a service they need "saving" from, sounds kinda hypocritical, dontcha think? Of course, thats only going on a simple generalised scenario. Some of these guys may have just met a bargirl whilst having a quiet drink and have never even thought about paying a woman for sex...

[Carib]

Well they don't really sett out to be social workers now do they. They get what the ngo worker doesn't get, even if they have to pay for it.

Their goal was not to save something or someone. So it is a limp comparison.

[Penefattore]

substitute the word "single man" insert "sucker" and thats the perception out there

exactly my point they get no respect

but why?

Because NGOs are masters of hypocrisy and deceit and have total control of the media, while sex tourists have none.

[eek]

Interesting comment, Eek. If the woman (or girl - some may be very young) is placed in this work reluctantly, a helping hand out would be good. If, however, she chooses this work viewing it as having potential for marriage to a wealthier and more socially mobile man than the ones in her own community, then that's part of her business plan, isn't it? Sometimes these plans work; sometimes they don't - that's the risk you take.

I think there are so many different circumstances. I think most can of course agree that no woman (or man) planned to grow up and work in prostitution. Most are victims of circumstance, some are victims in the sense that they were forced. However, I think its wise to have some kind of "business plan" no matter what your profession is, including prostitution. Chances of meeting a decent guy who will marry you and take you out of the scene i imagine are slim though, I imagine, if thats what a girl is looking for. I just hope that for those girls that do meet and marry someone through the scene, that their partners never feel superior to them, and give them the opportunity to move on with their lives without reminders of their past.

[Xangsamhua]

Interesting comment, Eek. If the woman (or girl - some may be very young) is placed in this work reluctantly, a helping hand out would be good. If, however, she chooses this work viewing it as having potential for marriage to a wealthier and more socially mobile man than the ones in her own community, then that's part of her business plan, isn't it? Sometimes these plans work; sometimes they don't - that's the risk you take.

I think there are so many different circumstances. I think most can of course agree that no woman (or man) planned to grow up and work in prostitution. Most are victims of circumstance, some are victims in the sense that they were forced. However, I think its wise to have some kind of "business plan" no matter what your profession is, including prostitution. Chances of meeting a decent guy who will marry you and take you out of the scene i imagine are slim though, I imagine, if thats what a girl is looking for. I just hope that for those girls that do meet and marry someone through the scene, that their partners never feel superior to them, and give them the opportunity to move on with their lives without reminders of their past.

Yes, a wise and sympathetic view.

[mark45y]

I personally don’t see anything wrong with taking money for sex. When I was a kid I delivered groceries in a wealthy neighborhood. The old ladies would tip me generously for putting away the sausage. It bought my first Jaguar when all the other young guys were driving jalopies. My parents were impressed by my fiscal responsibility with my part time job.

I do see a crying need for the female of the species to have a mate that can take care of her and her families needs both emotional and physical. Also there is the basic drive to improve the species. As Thai’s get larger and stronger and more able to play football on an international level this connection is obvious. In business the Chinese Thai connection is often mentioned and this is basically a family thing.

I think also the role of the man who employees a Mia Noi should not be overlooked. Not only is he supporting his primary family but has also cast his generous web to include one or more women who may be in need of companionship and economic assistance.

[lovelomsak]

I am sorry but the converstaion in my opinion is getting far away from what I felt was the topic. The topic was more based around when men marry a women and take her out of the trade he isnot given the support nor is his wife. I am not judging attacking the girls employment history etc i am trying to convey the fact men who marry women from the trade arenot given support from the community as a whole instead arquements like the ones starting here.

The responses are talking morals and their personal views of morals

Edited February 27, 2010 by lovelomsak

[Xangsamhua]

I personally don’t see anything wrong with taking money for sex. When I was a kid I delivered groceries in a wealthy neighborhood. The old ladies would tip me generously for putting away the sausage. It bought my first Jaguar when all the other young guys were driving jalopies. My parents were impressed by my fiscal responsibility with my part time job.

I do see a crying need for the female of the species to have a mate that can take care of her and her families needs both emotional and physical. Also there is the basic drive to improve the species. As Thai’s get larger and stronger and more able to play football on an international level this connection is obvious. In business the Chinese Thai connection is often mentioned and this is basically a family thing.

I think also the role of the man who employees a Mia Noi should not be overlooked. Not only is he supporting his primary family but has also cast his generous web to include one or more women who may be in need of companionship and economic assistance.

Best joke response of the day. Well done.

[Xangsamhua]

I am sorry but the converstaion in my opinion is getting far away from what I felt was the topic.

The responses are talking morals and their personal views of morals

With respect, maybe that's more interesting.

[garyh]

You are assume all these people are perfect angels, but in a lot of cases this is far from the truth.

[lovelomsak]

You are assume all these people are perfect angels, but in a lot of cases this is far from the truth.

there we go again judging and making non supportive accusasions about the men and their wives. Let me put it this way if someone close to you ended up in the trade how would you feel about the man who married her and helped her to get out of the trade?Would you say screw off fellow or why did you marry her. Or would you think I hope it works for her?

[473geo]

Interesting comment, Eek. If the woman (or girl - some may be very young) is placed in this work reluctantly, a helping hand out would be good. If, however, she chooses this work viewing it as having potential for marriage to a wealthier and more socially mobile man than the ones in her own community, then that's part of her business plan, isn't it? Sometimes these plans work; sometimes they don't - that's the risk you take.

I think there are so many different circumstances. I think most can of course agree that no woman (or man) planned to grow up and work in prostitution. Most are victims of circumstance, some are victims in the sense that they were forced. However, I think its wise to have some kind of "business plan" no matter what your profession is, including prostitution. Chances of meeting a decent guy who will marry you and take you out of the scene i imagine are slim though, I imagine, if thats what a girl is looking for. I just hope that for those girls that do meet and marry someone through the scene, that their partners never feel superior to them, and give them the opportunity to move on with their lives without reminders of their past.

The 'Honey trap' has been in existence for years as a business plan and is far more widespread than Thailand

There can also be great risk to the 'single man' both emotionally and financially as pointed out by the Op. Relationships are not a one way street, and one would hope that the 'single men' find the loving wife they would appreciate.........because judging by the divorce rate this is far from a sure thing anywhere in the world!!!!.......not always the fault of the wife of course!!!!....

Eek I know a lot of Thai ladies and certainly not many would put up with a partner having a superior attitude!!!

The Op is right to a point....single men will always be seen by many to be taking advantage of the situation......hero status?....not going to happen.....not wanted......just a happy life/future together required I reckon........a big ask??

In comparrison to being labelled, a sad loser, a person who thinks with the little head, sex tourist, some body who buys a wife, and many other rather stale comments bandied about........

In these days of constant insistent warnings......it is a brave man that risks failure and ridicule......but many appear to think it is worth the trying.......I'm sure they are not trying to obtain hero status.....but if many relationships work out fine, then yes they will surely never realise any credit, as do organisations who rely on publicity to obtain funding to support their salaries and actions.........good luck.....single men

[meom]

The topic was more based around when men marry a women and take her out of the trade he isnot given the support nor is his wife.

Some will argue that you can't take a woman out of the trade. Sure you can replace many different customers by one (the husband) but in a lot of cases it's still an economic transaction.

[473geo]

The topic was more based around when men marry a women and take her out of the trade he isnot given the support nor is his wife.

Some will argue that you can't take a woman out of the trade. Sure you can replace many different customers by one (the husband) but in a lot of cases it's still an economic transaction.

Disagree......if a train driver changes his employment to astronaut.......is he then still a train driver because he still travels in his work?

[lovelomsak]

thank you geo 473 for keeping logic in this thread with your input. When I posted I meant as Unsung heroes sorry on my part for that,

[StreetCowboy]

I'm not sure why the career history of someone's wife makes them a saint or a sinner.

I know a fellow whose wife gave up accountancy when she married. Where does he rate in the karmic scale?

I admit that fellows who marry beautiful girls decades younger than themselves deserve sympathy, but hero worship? I think that's a bit strong.

SC

[Ruperts]

Ah, so that's why so many guys marry bar girls? I always thought they fell in love, or something, but now I know they do it because they have this heavenly desire to help someone in need. You've gotta wonder though, if they are so heroic, why are they marring bar girls, and not, say, homeless people, or serious drug addicts? There are people far worse off in the world than Thai bar girls. If you want to give your marriage away as charity there are much more worthwhile causes.

[473geo]

Ah, so that's why so many guys marry bar girls? I always thought they fell in love, or something, but now I know they do it because they have this heavenly desire to help someone in need. You've gotta wonder though, if they are so heroic, why are they marring bar girls, and not, say, homeless people, or serious drug addicts? There are people far worse off in the world than Thai bar girls. If you want to give your marriage away as charity there are much more worthwhile causes.

Ops view appears to be that the side effect of the guys marrying bar girls has probably a higher success rate than government funded bodies, who appear to obtain funds to pay salaries first and render assistance second.........missed that one did you?........funny I thought that was the topic of the thread!!

So I don't 'gotta wonder' at all......he has a point....

[Ruperts]

Ah, so that's why so many guys marry bar girls? I always thought they fell in love, or something, but now I know they do it because they have this heavenly desire to help someone in need. You've gotta wonder though, if they are so heroic, why are they marring bar girls, and not, say, homeless people, or serious drug addicts? There are people far worse off in the world than Thai bar girls. If you want to give your marriage away as charity there are much more worthwhile causes.

Ops view appears to be that the side effect of the guys marrying bar girls has probably a higher success rate than government funded bodies, who appear to obtain funds to pay salaries first and render assistance second.........missed that one did you?........funny I thought that was the topic of the thread!!

So I don't 'gotta wonder' at all......he has a point....

It's a desperate, verging on absurd comparison. If you have to try so hard to give credibility to your marriage then I would suggest a divorce. Heroes? Give me a break. Take away the sex and lets see how charitable these guys really are.

[473geo]

Ah, so that's why so many guys marry bar girls? I always thought they fell in love, or something, but now I know they do it because they have this heavenly desire to help someone in need. You've gotta wonder though, if they are so heroic, why are they marring bar girls, and not, say, homeless people, or serious drug addicts? There are people far worse off in the world than Thai bar girls. If you want to give your marriage away as charity there are much more worthwhile causes.

Ops view appears to be that the side effect of the guys marrying bar girls has probably a higher success rate than government funded bodies, who appear to obtain funds to pay salaries first and render assistance second.........missed that one did you?........funny I thought that was the topic of the thread!!

So I don't 'gotta wonder' at all......he has a point....

It's a desperate, verging on absurd comparison. If you have to try so hard to give credibility to your marriage then I would suggest a divorce. Heroes? Give me a break. Take away the sex and lets see how charitable these guys really are.

Who is trying hard to give credibility?....not the people concerned...... the Op is making an observation........which you choose, and are entitled to disgree with......presumably from your experience......from which it would appear you feel all relationships are based on sex only.......sad!

[eek]

I dunno..between the virgin thread and this one, thaivisa has been rather entertaining to read today. Ive learned that women may be useless commodities once "deflowered", and that sex tourists/sex pats are actually just unsung heroes "rescuing" these poor ladies from the trade they indulged in (which of course isnt a bad profession, at least whilst they are indulging in it).

Its actually a wonderful cycle really. Mark from the virgin thread goes around deflowering and abandoning these poor girls, but, afterwards they are actually enlightened and grateful. So, maybe now they are all empowered but also being a useless commodity in the marriage stakes, they formulate a wicked business plan and become a bg. Then along comes the unsung hero, who snaps her up and gives her a happy home. Doesnt that all just come together nicely!

Well..learn something new everyday ..

maybe i just summed it up wrong though.

Apologies if so.

[473geo]

I dunno..between the virgin thread and this one, thaivisa has been rather entertaining to read today. Ive learned that women may be useless commodities once "deflowered", and that sex tourists/sex pats are actually just unsung heroes "rescuing" these poor ladies from the trade they indulged in (which of course isnt a bad profession, at least whilst they are indulging in it).

Its actually a wonderful cycle really. Mark from the virgin thread goes around deflowering and abandoning these poor girls, but, afterwards they are actually enlightened and grateful. So, maybe now they are all empowered but also being a useless commodity in the marriage stakes, they formulate a wicked business plan and become a bg. Then along comes the unsung hero, who snaps her up and gives her a happy home. Doesnt that all just come together nicely!

Well..learn something new everyday ..

maybe i just summed it up wrong though.

Apologies if so.

I don't think you have Eek...... .......to me the whole virgin thing is way overated.......and the unsung hero is stretching things a bit.....but somewhere in there is a considerate middle road.