Are Thai Women Incurious Lovers?

[kaewmala]

Hi Ladies (& any gents here),

I was hanging around the Thai Language Forum, sharing my (Thai female) perspective on language and the Thai romantic culture. There aren't many women in that forum (I'm still new here), so I took up Bina's invitation to come here. Today I wrote on a topic that needed input from women in particular.

I was answering a question from a farang male reader (on my blog) asking me a question in the subject line -- not really in the bedroom aspect -- but about sharing & getting to know one another in the relationship beyond the superficial.

He was wondering whether it's possible that Thai women could be typically incurious to find out more deeply about the foreign lover.

Here's the beginning of my blog:

Are we? (Curious Thai women lovers, hold it!! Please don’t flog me! — cowering) (Hands still blocking head) It’s not my question, girls. Really. One curious (farang) mind wants to know. His name is Paul. …

Paul wants to know why none of his several long-term and short-term Thai (ex-)girlfriends ever seemed to want to get to know more about him as a person. He didn’t say this, but I guess he must have felt like a serial foreign census respondent, being asked the same basic demographic questions: “where do you come from,” “have you ever been married,” “how many children do you have.”

In his own words [chopped off a bit]:

I have had two long-term relationships (two and three years each) with Thai women and several not so long. None of the women ever asked about my previous life experiences – except for information related to past marriages, children and country of origin.

I can interpret such omissions as being disinterested in me as a person or – perhaps a better explanation – a lack of curiosity about anything beyond Thailand or anything that did not have an immediate or direct influence on them. Even while in the process of asking them about their childhood, their views, their experiences, they did not reciprocate. And I don’t understand why they would not have taken advantage of the opportunity to learn more about my life in my country and the outside world in general. …

Any insight?

----

I gave my answer on my blog but am interested in knowing what other women think (Thai or otherwise). You can see the rest of the article on the blog or give your comment here. Thanks and looking forward to reading your views.

[SeanMoran]

Tell him he needs to learn to be more creative and keep your posts on other forums to other forums. What's said out of school stays out of school.

[kaewmala]

Tell him he needs to learn to be more creative and keep your posts on other forums to other forums. What's said out of school stays out of school.

Thanks for your comment. And btw I did not cross-post. Only asked it here. Hope that's ok.

[SeanMoran]

Tell him he needs to learn to be more creative and keep your posts on other forums to other forums. What's said out of school stays out of school.

Thanks for your comment. And btw I did not cross-post. Only asked it here. Hope that's ok.

You're quoting other people's posts in other forums from what I gather. I would consider that a rather bad sleigtht on your own reputation, more than Paul's, so maybe it's better to frame the thread question more gently, without all the rigmarole of other threads in other forums that gave you the idea. In fact, if this is of no concern to you personally, then leave it, otherwise tell the forum why this is so important to you personally that you felt inclined to thread it, and leave other forums out of it. We don't want to know.

[TheLaughingMan]

For fuc_ks sake Sean, what is your problem? Are you the international forum police? And why are you being instantly hostile to this woman?

[IanForbes]

His questions seem more related to Thai women rather than farang women. It's mostly farang women here. A farang woman would know how to respond, but maybe not be interested. Maybe there are language barriers and many Thai women don't know how to relate to more than just basic questions. Thais and farangs are very different in many ways and similar in others. Unless we knew the specifics it would be hard to relate and give a proper answer. I do know that Thai women who view a farang man as a potential partner seem more interested in the specifics of the man: is he single and available, how old is he, how much money does he make, does he live full time in Thailand, or does he travel back and forth from another country, and is he committed to anyone else. Before those get established the Thai woman is not too interested. I was recently "grilled" by an attractive Thai woman in a similar fashion. I pretty much stated that I don't want a long term relationship and that pretty much ended the matter.

[SeanMoran]

1. For farks sake Sean, what is your problem? Are you the international forum police?

2. And why are you being instantly hostile to this woman person?

1. Yes

2. No, so what is your real name, and can I have your permission to take everything you say here to other forums that you don't know about when I am feeling jilted by your rhetoric so that I can flame you to your heart's content in public without you even being there to argue for yourself.

My name is Sean Moran and don't waste your time flaming me on other forums because Christy Sweet has already done that for you, but that doesn't make it right.

I respect ThaiVisa as a forum of integrity, and we don't take on the pathetic whines of losers from other forums, okay?

[WeeGB]

This is weird, a Thai lady asking a question of Thai women, and farang men replying.......and here's another one.

I think, having being married to a Thai lady for 10 years, that the lack of interest shown by Thai women in their men's personalities, their interests, feelings etc, is down to a lack of education. Most Thai women know very little of the world outside of Thailand, and dislike asking questions about things of which they have little or no knowledge. Thai women, in my experience dislike asking questions, about anything other than the ones you quote.

In the first couple of years we were married, my wife found it difficult to believe that if I wanted to know something, I'd ask someone a question, whether, shopping, looking for directions etc. It seemed that she'd been brought up not to ask questions, though whether this was by her parents or teachers, I'm not sure.

Also the level of English taught in Thailand is abysmal**, so it's difficult for Thai women to frame questions they may have. There also seems to be a culture of we-can't-change-the-natural-order-of -things, which maybe explains why most Thais (of both sexes), seem only to be interested in things that directly effect their day to day lives.

Maybe this explains why Thai women are seemingly more interested in which cream will make their skin whiter, than getting a better education. A white skin is preferable for getting on in life Thailand, whereas even with a reasonably good education, if you're dark skinned you've got no chance. Sad but true.

Hope this helps.

(**present company excepted - the OPs written English is comparable to most native English speakers)

[kaewmala]

His questions seem more related to Thai women rather than farang women. It's mostly farang women here. A farang woman would know how to respond, but maybe not be interested. Maybe there are language barriers and many Thai women don't know how to relate to more than just basic questions. Thais and farangs are very different in many ways and similar in others. Unless we knew the specifics it would be hard to relate and give a proper answer. I do know that Thai women who view a farang man as a potential partner seem more interested in the specifics of the man: is he single and available, how old is he, how much money does he make, does he live full time in Thailand, or does he travel back and forth from another country, and is he committed to anyone else. Before those get established the Thai woman is not too interested. I was recently "grilled" by an attractive Thai woman in a similar fashion. I pretty much stated that I don't want a long term relationship and that pretty much ended the matter.

Hi, Ian. Thanks for your input.

I apologize if I have grated any sensibility, but I really did come here expecting to get some women's perspectives (Thai and expat women as I said in the description line) because it is possible that expat women having lived long enough in Thailand may be able to relate to Thai women and shed some light as well. And what a surprise! All men so far. :-)

Anyway, I agree that he did not give enough specifics, so it could have been any number of things. I sometimes get questions from farang men asking if Thai women are really like this, like that. Why do they do this or do that, or not do this -- as in this case. Sometimes you can try to give a cultural perspective to the personal behaviors, but sometimes you can't. And one Thai woman cannot speak for all. So, that's why sought out others' views.

I personally don't believe that all Thai women in or seeking a relationship with a foreign man are in it for the material things or only the material things. At least I am not and I know other Thai women who are not. But I am aware that there are a lot of Thai women who are. That is why I wonder if there might really be a pattern of disinterest among some Thai women as far as making an effort to learn and understand more about their farang lovers is concerned. (And your comment is illuminating, thank you. :-)) I am romantic, and believe that, even if a woman might be primarily interested in material security, at least she can make an effort to learn about her lover/husband because that will make the relationship go a long way.

I've seen some Thai-farang couples and have some suspicion that that might not be the case. But I resist jumping to conclusions because you don't know what really goes on between couples. Hence, asking for others' views.

[eurasianthai]

My name is Sean Moran

And my favourite activity on this forum is asking people posting here their name.

I just can't help it, I'm Sean Moran...

[bobo42]

I think, having being married to a Thai lady for 10 years, that the lack of interest shown by Thai women in their men's personalities, their interests, feelings etc, is down to a lack of education. Most Thai women know very little of the world outside of Thailand, and dislike asking questions about things of which they have little or no knowledge. Thai women, in my experience dislike asking questions, about anything other than the ones you quote.

In the first couple of years we were married, my wife found it difficult to believe that if I wanted to know something, I'd ask someone a question, whether, shopping, looking for directions etc. It seemed that she'd been brought up not to ask questions, though whether this was by her parents or teachers, I'm not sure.

I think this is spot-on. I've been together with my wife for three years now, and I have experienced the same behavior as stated in the OP. It turned out to be not a lack of curiosity, but instead just a general aversion/fear of asking questions! She is generally too embarrassed to ask questions about things she doesn't know, for fear that she may not understand the answer, or reveal her initial lack of knowledge. This may have its roots in the education system, or maybe is just deeply ingrained in the culture itself.

After much discussion with my wife on the subject, she had a kind of "ah-hah" moment, and began to wonder why she had so much apprehension about asking questions. She is much more open now about asking me questions (in private), and often tells me that she "always wanted to know such-and-such" but could never ask before! She still has really deep-seated issues about this when it comes to other people or out in public (getting her to ask the doctor questions is murder), but she is getting better at it with practice.

Perhaps my situation is unique, but its all I have to judge by. I think it is a cultural issue. For those that assume that their significant other is uninterested or incurious, it may be that they really are curious, but have been taught early-on (and continually practiced) to suppress their curiosity - or that they might look foolish if they question something. Try to find out if it is just fear before coming to the conclusion that it is disinterest.

[sbk]

I suspect, kaewmala, that there is little farang women commentary because many times the foreign women do post an opinion on Thai women we are roundly and soundly abused for having such opinions. Either positive or negative. I recall one particular gem, where a guy asked what do Thai women think of old farang men with young Thai women, and I was soundly abused for posting the opinion of one of my Thai female staff members. Many men didn't like her opinion and for some reason felt it necessary to attack me for posting something they didnt' agree with.

I, too find, it interesting that so many men choose to post in the women's forum when a poster specifically asks for women's opinions but figure thats because most men don't bother to read the location of the topic and don't necessarily read the entire post. Not just selective hearing in practice here

Anyway, I will have to abstain from comment since the Thai women I know do not seem to fall into this behavior or category.

[Jirayu2204]

Yea, Quite agree with Ian:)

I'm also wondering- How old 'he' is and...

what kinda economic and educational status the 'women' who he had relationship with have?

-----------------

Anyway there's no big deal if 'the person' posted in here. I believe that there are some Thai women reading forums in this site just like i am.

[bina]

oohhhhhhhhhhh counting to ten..... zero.

i invited her to come over to here from the language forum for those that are pedantic and worried: the thaivisa language forum: she is really a she; she is known by other members for her linguistics research etc.... she has a blog site and a book....

she is legit so BACK OFF to those that doubt... (i love when i say BACK OFF to a dog or a horse. they just automatically move back two steps and wait for the next command.... )

i too am always curious about thai women; i really only know two women personally and one is rather more israeli then she used to be... plus, she is a city girl and muslem at that so not sure, but i think the same non curious side of some of our thai husbands is similar. the 'non discussion of daily things; lack of curiousity about 'your day at the office', less self analysis, etc... finally we get to hear at least one thai woman's POV (well, besides mig...)

bina

[RAZZELL]

1. For farks sake Sean, what is your problem? Are you the international forum police?

2. And why are you being instantly hostile to this woman person?

1. Yes

2. No, so what is your real name, and can I have your permission to take everything you say here to other forums that you don't know about when I am feeling jilted by your rhetoric so that I can flame you to your heart's content in public without you even being there to argue for yourself.

My name is Sean Moran and don't waste your time flaming me on other forums because Christy Sweet has already done that for you, but that doesn't make it right.

I respect ThaiVisa as a forum of integrity, and we don't take on the pathetic whines of losers from other forums, okay?

Sean Moran...Moderator

Come on mate, you've only been a member 4 months!

RAZZ

[tonglen]

You're quoting other people's posts in other forums from what I gather. I would consider that a rather bad sleigtht on your own reputation, more than Paul's, so maybe it's better to frame the thread question more gently, without all the rigmarole of other threads in other forums that gave you the idea. In fact, if this is of no concern to you personally, then leave it, otherwise tell the forum why this is so important to you personally that you felt inclined to thread it, and leave other forums out of it. We don't want to know.

Speak for yourself, Sean The Un-Moderator, who thinks he is. Strange, when I looked for little red "admin" next to your name, there was none. Maybe next time you could administer some patience.

I liked the question. Some good suggestions that have been presented here. How about the language barrier? Without re-reading the original post, I don't believe it was mentioned whether there was any limited proficiency in each others language. Sometimes it's the minutiae that is harder to express or enquire of.

Maybe these girls respected his privacy. I also noticed thay would not divulge their details, either. Hmmm.

I've never inquired as to how many partners my current has had or in any of the jealousy laden topics that spark distrust. I've had zero interest so long as it's REALLY in the past. Why dredge it up? Maybe these Thai women did'nt care. Or maybe they did'nt care about him...

[Boo]

could be a multitude of reasons but off the top of my head;

1) just doesn't care - in it for less than genuine reasons & figures he's getting what he wants & so am I so why do I need to know everything when it doesn't matter to me

2) Intereste in their partner (love, lust, affection etc) but just not that kind of person, some don't need to know the in's & outs of a partners life before meeting, the here & now is the important thing, how they are with us & we with them, basics are important, kids? wife? medical issues? family etc but forward looking & no need to discuss the minutiae of life & the universe cause it isn't important.

I include myself in this group, I have a vague knowledge of his past relationships, even meeting & becoming friendly with one his ex's but don't ask nor need to know what their relationship was like, it's over, clearly something wasn't right, we also don't talk about the trivial, we are both quite independent & even though we spend more time together than most couples don't talk about things that aren't directly relate to our family & life, we both have friends to chew the fat with & personally I prefer it that way, why overload each other on irrelevancy ?

3) Been brought up not to "think too much". A thai trait (generalization I know) especially in women, a more "traditional" childhood would have taught her to be the "back legs of the elephant" so maybe finding herself with an inquisitive farang is embarrassing & she finds it distasteful or at least uncomfortable to be asking so many questions or be seen to be "questioning" her man too much

4) You are boring & she doesn't want to engage you in conversation too much for fear you ramble on (like this post ) & her ears fall off

[kaewmala]

Wow, great! Thanks so much for all your comments. I was afraid for a moment last night that I was stepping in the wrong house, so to speak. And bina, thanks for vouching for my gender (though I don't use my real name, my sexuality is not -> concealed).

Anyway, your separate comments pretty much cover all major possibilities, and more or less confirmed my initial response to him (he asked the question on my blog - which has a Q&A section). Some insights, esp. from Thai women, he would find of particular interest, so I'll tell him to check your responses here.

So it seems, besides the personalities involved, education and language facilities, there's a possible cultural tendency, at least among some/many Thai spouses - female or male, to be incurious in digging too deep in the life and soul of the other half's than what's immediately relevant to the daily life.

Still, I think, one must be careful to make assumptions based on general cultural traits. A trait may be found in a large number of people in a culture, but culture changes and society is always in transition. In Thailand's case, we also have class and urban/rural dimensions to consider, and of course education (which pings back to the general lack of analytical training and anti-intellectual tendency in Thai society).

I spent my childhood in a rural area but has lived in big cities, I can see the difference. In some respects, the Thai urban/rural divide can be greater than that of the farang/Thai divide -- sometimes we're talking about 18th century and 20th/21st century. I myself am very close to my husband, heart and mind. We talk about everything and ask how the other's day went at the end of the day. I personally was more interested in his intellect, personality & values when we first dated, and never asked any personal questions. (I didn't even know his age for a long time, somehow that didn't weigh on the mind.) And after we got married, I might have asked a few personal, family related questions, but never interrogated him about who he was with before he met me or how many assets or bank accounts he had, etc. I felt he would tell me if he wanted me to know, and sometimes he did.

But then I couldn't really assume that my way of thinking would be representative of many Thai women, knowing (as I've often been told) that I'm not a typical Thai woman. So, it's good to see how other (Thai) women think on this subject.

I'm interested to hear more on class and Thai-farang relationship, but have to stop for now.

ciao,

[sbk]

TBH I have women conversations with the Thai women I know. I don't know what they say to their husbands or boyfriends. I know what they say to me, and no, they are not incurious people. Perhaps they are so with their husbands, but not with me.

As for the rural/urban divide, yes I think its big, but I suspect as times change and people become more interconnected through phones etc, the divide is shrinking. Women in their 50's are far different from women in their 30's, at least the ones I know.

[IanForbes]

With one notible exception, it's been a good discussion and I welcome another educated lady to this forum. I can not confirm it, because I am not a teacher, nor do I work with teachers here in Thailand, but I've been told on many occasions that Thai children are taught to listen and obey rather than question anything a so called "superior" says. In North America it is almost the exact opposite and young people question EVERYTHING. The riots in California universities are a good example. This creates something good and something bad. From what I've seen in school yards, shopping malls and other places where young people gather, there IS a difference between Western societies and the Thai society... and possibly all Asian societies. Thai youth seem far more respectful of elders and other people in general. What they MAY (or may not) lack is the natural inquisitiveness to question what they've been told, and actually think for themselves.

This point could possibly explain the reluctance of a Thai women/girl to respond to simple questions by a westernized male. Asians as a whole tend to want to please people, and often respond by giving answers they THINK the person asking might like to hear. I've run into that many times.

[Meridian007]

I agree with Kaewmala's assertion about the divide, but I think urban/rural may be the lesser variable when compared to education, (quality and quantity), and socialization within the family. Some people move to the city, and may live there for many years, but they are still the product of their upbringing. As well, many of the urban poor would be indistinguishable from the rural poor in topics surrounding intellectual curiosity and critical thought.

I also think that it is not restricted to only Thailand, or even just Asia. I've seen a great deal of purposeful ignorance in Ontario (Canada), both in rural populations and in those with a low Socio-economic status. Rather than there being a fear of curiosity, there is a disdain for any intellectual development, and a strong negative reaction towards anyone who is seen as being "book-smart". Ignorance crosses all borders!

Here, I have to agree with SBK that the majority of the Thai women I have as friends, (including my girlfriend), are very curious, and want to know as much as they can. Some of those who come from very traditional homes have even expressed relief that I, as a foreigner, am "safe" to talk to about deeper issues. Most of them have at least a Master's if not a PhD, but come from not just Bangkok, but also smaller cities from both the north and the north-east.

My girlfriend is usually interested in finding out about my past, (but Boo is right that she does get bored if I go on too long! ), and is generally curious. I attribute it to a high level of education, having parents who are both university professors, and the fact that she has no brothers. Therefore, she had the support of her parents from a young age to be curious, (at least at home), and didn't have a lot of the "back legs of the elephant" pressure, by being raised in a mainly, (progressive), female household.

She still makes comments about where and when it is appropriate for her to ask questions, or make her opinion known, as there is still an undercurrent of passivity in Thai culture, (even in Bangkok), and especially for women.

Like the majority of the posters in this thread, I'm male so I know the question wasn't directed to me, but I wanted to suggest looking at socialization and education. Perhaps the person who asked the question on your blog hasn't factored this into his assessment yet.

[cooperspale]

1. For farks sake Sean, what is your problem? Are you the international forum police?

2. And why are you being instantly hostile to this woman person?

1. Yes

2. No, so what is your real name, and can I have your permission to take everything you say here to other forums that you don't know about when I am feeling jilted by your rhetoric so that I can flame you to your heart's content in public without you even being there to argue for yourself.

My name is Sean Moran and don't waste your time flaming me on other forums because Christy Sweet has already done that for you, but that doesn't make it right.

I respect ThaiVisa as a forum of integrity, and we don't take on the pathetic whines of losers from other forums, okay?

Sean Moran...Moderator

Come on mate, you've only been a member 4 months!

RAZZ

maybe paul is Sean's alias on another forum..maybe that's why he's got the arse on with this topic...hats off to christy Sweet for "flaming" him! What a UNIT!!

[StrandedBusinessPerson]

I agree with all those that say it's cultural, and not a lack of curiosity. My Asian wife knows things without asking, and she does not believe in small talk, or idle chatter that has no real purpose but to fill space. I on the other hand chatter non-stop, asking the stupidest of questions. It must be annoying...

[kaewmala]

I agree with Kaewmala's assertion about the divide, but I think urban/rural may be the lesser variable when compared to education, (quality and quantity), and socialization within the family. Some people move to the city, and may live there for many years, but they are still the product of their upbringing. As well, many of the urban poor would be indistinguishable from the rural poor in topics surrounding intellectual curiosity and critical thought....

So very true about the cross-cutting education factor, but I'll also give personality some fair weight as well -- some people ('educated' or not - or having had many years of schooling or not) are not just naturally curious, or reflective. Some with little education have natural intelligence and curiosity and will continue to learn, while many 'educated' people with master's and even a PhD stopped learning at the last degree. Thai people are often surprised to know that you know things beyond what you have studied in school, or that you are working in a field you weren't directly trained for. Not many people are well rounded, but that's a global trend, I think. So is anti-intellectualism... which reminds me of a recent incident that connects anti-intellectualism with Thai female-farang male issues.

Some months ago I gave an interview on a blog. Several questions were about "Thai love", Thai-farang relationship, etc., and one in particular was about the bar scene and what that had to do with love. I gave my answer, which several people seemed to like but a few (farang) guys clearly didn't. What I gathered from their reactions was that, educated professional Thai women had no business talking about sex (one actually suggested I was "asexual" (assuming I was an academic) - what insult! - the 'asexual' part, not the 'academic' part I mean ) and should leave that kind of matter to the 'real' "sexual ambassadors"!! Wonder how the guy thinks how (if?) 'privileged' people (with brains) procreate

Sadly this was not an isolated incident, I notice a certain amount of disdain and contempt in a certain segment of farang men for educated Thai women (when they take a break from white women bashing that is). But there are many mature and decent western men who don't belong to that group.

[Boo]

Just to confirm kaewmala , I'm not Thai, I'm English married to a Thai man from a Khon Kaen currently living in Thailan but I am just very uninterested in irrelevancy (in everything not just in personal matters) & factor that down to my personality rather than anything I was taught to do.

Over the years I have come to know a great deal about my husband (& he about me of course), his family, childhood, ideas, dreams etc but they came naturally in our day to day life together over the years rather than a Q&A in the first weeks of our relationship

Living with his family over the years on & off has also given me an "inside" track on the mind of those older rural women, that said they were all educated & graduated high school (unheard of in a lot of rural families 60 years back I am told too) & his is a female gender dominated family (which is why they marked the birth of my son with such happiness, another boy to balance things out) so not sure that they are a representation of many thai women?

What a good discussion, when I read the title before opening the thread I did a little groan thinking it was another bloody thai women & sex topic brought up by a male poster mistaking the ladies forum for a dating site & lo & behold, no such thing at all

[bifftastic]

I know this question was posted for the women to answer but i feel I have something of value to add so, I hope you will all accept my input.

When I first met my girlfriend we kind of fell into a reasonably deep heart-to-heart exploration of our past, good and bad things that have happened to us. It was that that made the initial connection, over and above the usual attractions. I notice that there are always class/education connotations given to relationships or interactions between people and, whilst formal education and the kind of family you were raised in do have some bearing on your personality, as does the culture you grew up in, there is still room for individuality to show through.

It is true that in day to day life we do not necessarily delve into each others pasts and we have reached some 'ok ok finish talk about that' points, when more detail would upset one or the other, but we definitely know, and have talked about some of the painful things that have happened to both of us and this is part of what binds us together.

As for our respective upbringings, mine could be regarded as 'urban poor' as an earlier poster described it, hers as 'rural poor' migrating to 'urban poor'.

I left school at 14, she at 12, we have both pretty much looked after ourselves all our lives. Not had the 'benefit' of too much formal education. Not had the support network that more middle-class families have, but that doesn't seem to have resulted in us being incurious or unable to think about things other than our immediate survival needs.

People are affected by their upbringing and culture but are more than the result of location and wealth or social status.

OP, thank you for the question.

[Naam]

1. For farks sake Sean, what is your problem? Are you the international forum police?

2. And why are you being instantly hostile to this woman person?

1. Yes

2. No, so what is your real name, and can I have your permission to take everything you say here to other forums that you don't know about when I am feeling jilted by your rhetoric so that I can flame you to your heart's content in public without you even being there to argue for yourself.

My name is Sean Moran and don't waste your time flaming me on other forums because Christy Sweet has already done that for you, but that doesn't make it right.

I respect ThaiVisa as a forum of integrity, and we don't take on the pathetic whines of losers from other forums, okay?

Sean Moran...Moderator

Come on mate, you've only been a member 4 months!

RAZZ

i am Worf son of Mogh and i demand that reveal your full name, address and phone number RAZZ! if you don't comply it's heavy sabres till blood flows next sunday morning at dawn, venue: my backyard.

p.s. Sean Moran = Gianni Morandi? - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Gianni Morandi (born December 11, 1944) is an Italian pop singer and entertainer .

[TheLaughingMan]

Some months ago I gave an interview on a blog. Several questions were about "Thai love", Thai-farang relationship, etc., and one in particular was about the bar scene and what that had to do with love. I gave my answer, which several people seemed to like but a few (farang) guys clearly didn't. What I gathered from their reactions was that, educated professional Thai women had no business talking about sex (one actually suggested I was "asexual" (assuming I was an academic) - what insult! - the 'asexual' part, not the 'academic' part I mean ) and should leave that kind of matter to the 'real' "sexual ambassadors"!! Wonder how the guy thinks how (if?) 'privileged' people (with brains) procreate

Sadly this was not an isolated incident, I notice a certain amount of disdain and contempt in a certain segment of farang men for educated Thai women (when they take a break from white women bashing that is). But there are many mature and decent western men who don't belong to that group.

So where is it exactly that I can read educated Thai women talking about sex? Talk about hot.

[RAZZELL]

i am Worf son of Mogh and i demand that reveal your full name, address and phone number RAZZ! if you don't comply it's heavy sabres till blood flows next sunday morning at dawn, venue: my backyard.

Err, if it's ok...I'll pass on that

RAZZ

[kaewmala]

Boo, thanks for the clarification. Thai or not, your comments were definitely insightful into Thai-farang relationship.

Bifftastic, thank for sharing a great story. Yes, I do love it when people beat the odds.

Paul, the owner of the original question I asked, has told me he has no objection of his question being asked here. He gave me his reaction to the discussion. I feel that we've started the discussion about him, it's only fair to give him his say. However, now that I have read the forum rules I realize I cannot not post his (somewhat longish) reaction here (though he has given me a permission) - so it's on my blog. (It seems, I refrain from violating one only to skirt on another. )

Only if the moderator allows my posting his reaction, I'll post it. Otherwise, here's the gist, Paul is 42 years old and the girlfriends were between 22-32 (one had an MBA from the US). Paul appreciates in particular some of the answers but feels a few were unkind and did not advance the topic.

TheLaughingMan, I don't mean to deflate your enthusiasm, but I did not talk about "sex" per se, nothing hanky panky I'm afraid. The interview was entitled "Thai Love Talk". You can google it.