This is not a bad story but a good story. I live in a new estate in Chiangmai (San Sai) and every morning have the local school pick up come through. You know the type the rattaling utility.

Well my wife sold her 20 yr old honda bike to the driver of this school bus for 6,000 baht I thought a great price ripped him off but that is what he offered.

Since selling to him this bike he has come many times in the last week. He does not not speak a word of english but through my wife on one occassion he wanted me to go to his home. I speak broken thai.. Ok I was a little concerned but went with him. Got to his home which was about 1km away he showed me to his family I saw all the pics in his home from grandparents to grandchildren still not a word of english but my broken thai. Had the tour of his garden and drank fresh coconut milk untill it flowed from my eyes. Then he grabs a chicken thought nothing of it, and he lobs the head off gives to me. I am maow (no) so give to his wife. He then nudges me back to his ute (car) I am thinking umm I have offended him and his family.

We go 100 metres to the local mum and pop stall he shows me to them, umm I am nervous thinking my throat is going to be slit. The wihiskey comes out we drink two (free) then back to his home. The wife has cleaned the chicken. I have this in a basket with green mangos and coconuts and he takes me home. A big smile and constant grabbing of the arm.

Today the same man arrives at my home with 3 fish each in a separate old bottle. Don't know how he got them into the bottles. Fish that we called in Australia as Siamese fighting fish. Very beautiful looking fish.

I asked my wife what am I to do with these fish in a bottle. She told me if you get one it is a sign of respect. I thought what have I done to deserve respect. I couldn't think of anything. My wife told me that I went with him to his home on the 1st offer that was respect to him.

I asked the 2nd and 3rd fish... She did not know

Sounds a bit fishy to me.

I used to have a siamese fighting fish. He was a gift for my birthday and i named him Bob. He was gorgeous! Bob died in a couple of weeks though

I asked my wife what am I to do with these fish in a bottle. She told me if you get one it is a sign of respect. I thought what have I done to deserve respect. I couldn't think of anything. My wife told me that I went with him to his home on the 1st offer that was respect to him.

So the man is somewhat traditional and it is his way of showing thanks for a good deal on the bike. You now have a local friend who feels a tad of bunkhun towards you. So shed your ex-pat bubble and enjoy the real Thailand. Now go back to a local shop and buy a bottle of Sangsom and invite him over to share it with you.

Yes, good adivce. I am still wary of not knowing how to reciprocate Bhun Khun. There are so many unwritten rules. Generally I give fruit baskets as gifts for unusual acts of kindness. The more expensive fruits are nice gift I reckon. Giving Money seems to be considered a "no no". Booze is always an option depending on the setting too..

Nice story. I hope it helps you get closer to Thai people and develop a better understanding. It's usually been worth it in my limited experience.

I asked my wife what am I to do with these fish in a bottle. She told me if you get one it is a sign of respect. I thought what have I done to deserve respect. I couldn't think of anything. My wife told me that I went with him to his home on the 1st offer that was respect to him.

So the man is somewhat traditional and it is his way of showing thanks for a good deal on the bike. You now have a local friend who feels a tad of bunkhun towards you. So shed your ex-pat bubble and enjoy the real Thailand. Now go back to a local shop and buy a bottle of Sangsom and invite him over to share it with you.

I would agree, he likes the bike, he liked the price, maybe he thought you needed to feel more welcome in the area and now he has the deal over the bike as a reason to get to know you more despite the language difficulties. Enjoy. Watch out for the regular drinking though! Can upset the misses! or so I've heard!

its wierd how we have a sort of problem abou tthe way thais say 'thank you. people expect that thais shoudl say thank you in words when often its in deeds. very often i have to help out the thai workers here, since anon is friends with them. its 7 really nice guys this time round. so when i have to pick stuff up in a local store for them(they refuse to travel or shp, afraid about visa checks, dealing with israelis, whatever), or help send something thru western union to a family member, they often shove some extra money in to my hand (telling me to buy something to eat for myself); in return, if ive photographed them at gatherings, work, or at their home , i give them the prints free, to send home (they dont have cameras for the most part and dont know where to get stuff developed and they always want to pay for the copies); help them translate with their employer, drop them off at other thai workers' places etc... in return, we get invited often to eat when they slaughter a pig, its a real exchange of help without ticking off the 'amount' of worth of the favour. obviously if i didnt like them, i would help out when needed but certainly wouldnt extend my friendship beyond the 'needed' help. and they obviously would only ask me for basic help, not for more intimate help (sending money, asking advice, personal info)...

i dont need the words 'thank you', its enough that someone takes the time to make a sweet from sticky rice and mackam to take to my kids, thats the thai way of saying thanx...i like it that way.

bina

israel

Welcome to the real Thailand, You have the makings of a good friendship in the offering.

Good Luck

Cheers:

We send out 50-60k units every few days of respect in tennis ball sized plastic bags for a few Baht per unit. It's just a fish.

its wierd how we have a sort of problem abou tthe way thais say 'thank you. people expect that thais shoudl say thank you in words when often its in deeds. very often i have to help out the thai workers here, since anon is friends with them. its 7 really nice guys this time round. so when i have to pick stuff up in a local store for them(they refuse to travel or shp, afraid about visa checks, dealing with israelis, whatever), or help send something thru western union to a family member, they often shove some extra money in to my hand (telling me to buy something to eat for myself); in return, if ive photographed them at gatherings, work, or at their home , i give them the prints free, to send home (they dont have cameras for the most part and dont know where to get stuff developed and they always want to pay for the copies); help them translate with their employer, drop them off at other thai workers' places etc... in return, we get invited often to eat when they slaughter a pig, its a real exchange of help without ticking off the 'amount' of worth of the favour. obviously if i didnt like them, i would help out when needed but certainly wouldnt extend my friendship beyond the 'needed' help. and they obviously would only ask me for basic help, not for more intimate help (sending money, asking advice, personal info)...

i dont need the words 'thank you', its enough that someone takes the time to make a sweet from sticky rice and mackam to take to my kids, thats the thai way of saying thanx...i like it that way.

bina

israel

Nice story, bina. I also take a lot of photos of the locals and bring them back prints for free. I ask for nothing in return... but receive happy smiles that make my day.

The OP's story was a touching one and so typical of many Thai people. Just accept their friendship with a smile and everything will be okay.

I'm not sure about the significance of the fish, but it was obviously a gift of appreciation.

Siamese fighting fish - Beta version of Windows 7.

All will become clear if you tune in to the same channel, same time next week.

Or not.

Welcome to the real Thailand, You have the makings of a good friendship in the offering.

Good Luck

Cheers:

Yes I think so..... The real Thailand and real people...