The North Or The South

[chownah]

...

Since you are only half way to the North are your leaches smaller than ours?

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Are you talking about the ones that hop on when your having the weekly dunk in the plastic bucket, or the permanent ones (although these seem to become fewer since I got crabs)?

The snakes and scorpies are the least of my worries.

It's the mossies which are a problem up north.

They are two inches long and can remove 20cc of blood in 10seconds

30 bites and thats a pint gone.  A pint thats nearly an armful .

...

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As for the mozzies; we cultivate them now (don’t tell anyone, but we are opening a blood bank alongside the local medicine man next week).

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I cut myself shaving the other day and you should have seen the mossies and the leaches fighting for a place on my face!!!!!

Did you ever get rid of the intestinal worms that were bothering you?

[Thaiboxer]

mpdkorat...Korat is not too far from BKK; about four or five hours I think. There is a nice highway running from BKK clear up to Nong Kai which cuts through Korat making the trip much easier than those old country roads. Being that Korat is the biggest province in Thailand with a large population I can see it having most of the modern comforts found in BKK shopping areas.

With regards to speaking Thai I can see it being more of a necessity there but then again here in Bangkok there are so many situations where it's useful. Like many of my fellow foreigners, I'm lazy when it comes to studying other languages although I have learned enough to get me by. Thai is pretty phonetic (unlike English) so I'm studying some of the alphabet every now and then which makes learning the pronunciation that much easier. I can't decipher sentences but words and short phrases are not too hard depending on the style of characters used.

[Thomas_Merton]

I cut myself shaving the other day and you should have seen the mossies and the leaches fighting for a place on my face!!!!!

Did you ever get rid of the intestinal worms that were bothering you?

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Nah, best pet I've ever had.

Was going to name him after a TV member, but believe it or not, I'm spoilt for choice.

Edited May 22, 2005 by Thomas_Merton

[Thetyim]

Nah, best pet I've ever had.

Was going to name him after a TV member, but believe it or not, I'm spoilt for choice.

I've got this gut feeling you're gonna choose me.

[Thomas_Merton]

Nah, best pet I've ever had.

Was going to name him after a TV member, but believe it or not, I'm spoilt for choice.

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I've got this gut feeling you're gonna choose me.

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After your PM - would't dream of it.

BTW has that tiger killed anyone this week, up your way.?

[Rhys]

Having lived and worked in both areas.. The south..but not too far down...for a visit..Stay away from the Troublesome Three.. your Thai speaking language is not strong enough, and you stand out.. SO..YOU FIT A PROFILE of opportunity.

At times.. the south with the palm trees, mountain ranges.. reminds me of Oahu, Hawaii... Each area has its charm..YET.. HMMMMMM You have confined your TIOWs.. to BKK..

If you a hunter..... your best quarry ... is in your old stomping ground of your

designs.... Your still going to see the WAT, the People, and PAD Thai..

In recent years.. the Guest house scene and the whole tourist attacks..have increased up north...in the South..you have the oppressed standing up for themselves.. and you could see some interesting things.

The pace in the south..seems to match the tourist pace... ENJOY..

[PeaceBlondie]

Thanks to all the other ChiangMai-ians for warning you not to come north. There are no mountains, only deep swamps. We wear parkas and mukluks in July (the swamps are frozen). The Hill Tribe people are either cannibals or Catholics. They speak Navaho and Chippewa here. They only eat Lays potato chips (crisps).

Did they mention the dodo birds that eat human flesh?

Oh, and the stores only sell marmite and vegamite, not even peanut butter.

[RDN]

...Oh, and the stores only sell marmite and vegamite, not even peanut butter.

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I'm on my way!

[udon]

...Oh, and the stores only sell marmite and vegamite, not even peanut butter.

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I'm on my way!

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I'll take the Vegemite

[Thaiboxer]

I was in Chiang Mai four years ago and back then the town was getting to be a lot like BKK. Now the situation must be even worse; traffic has increased and so has the air pollution. At one time, many farang considered Chiang Mai to be an escape from the oppressive pollution/traffic of BKK but from what folks on this forum have said, perhaps there will be an exodus of farang to BKK in the near future.

Speaking of those mosquitos, we have plenty of them here but I think there are more in Chiang Mai; the air pollution probably kills a lot of them before they get a chance to feed on you. We have a lot of soi dogs roaming around BKK...is that the case in Chiang Mai as well?

[Thetyim]

It really annoys me when people tell lies and spread rumours about the north.

Now listen up.

THERE IS NO MARMITE OR VEGEMITE HERE.

so you can all go home again. Phuket has the worlds biggest store of Marmite outside the UK. Just ask for the RDN Warehouse Co.

The only food here is ants eggs, fried insects and scorpions.

Now if you put that lot in the blender it may taste like vegemite but it won't make you ill like vegemite.

[BaanOz]

BTW has that tiger killed anyone this week, up your way.?

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LOL yep North is a horrible place the pollution around Chiang Mai is terrible ...hope your not Asmatic. Go south young man

BaanOz

Edited May 23, 2005 by BaanOz

[Thomas_Merton]

We have a lot of soi dogs roaming around BKK...is that the case in Chiang Mai as well?

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You only see them at Sunday lunch-times now.

Soi dog and Yorkshire pudding has become the local delicacy.

The gravy can be a bit thick, but the mint sauce really draws out the taste in the meat.

[Thaiboxer]

Soi dog....sounds a lot like what my last school served for lunch! Only difference was that ours was BBQ'd. There were no soi dogs around the school property; the smarter ones that is!

[PeaceBlondie]

Actually, the pollution is now so thick you can cut it with a knife, and serve it with gravy. More tasty than Yorkshire pudding.

And the traffic is so congested that you have to walk somewhere either by tuk-tuk or songtaew. They're bumper to bumper everywhere, never moving at all, so you just walk across the rooftops of the tuks, the songs, the tuks, and the taews.

Edited May 23, 2005 by PeaceBlondie

[lampard10]

We have a lot of soi dogs roaming around BKK...is that the case in Chiang Mai as well?

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You only see them at Sunday lunch-times now.

Soi dog and Yorkshire pudding has become the local delicacy.

The gravy can be a bit thick, but the mint sauce really draws out the taste in the meat.

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Tut............bloody Northerners. Come off it . Soi dog is served with Horseradish sauce,not mint sauce. Stray cat is served with the latter. And if you're wondering, apple sauce goes with rat.

[Thomas_Merton]

We have a lot of soi dogs roaming around BKK...is that the case in Chiang Mai as well?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You only see them at Sunday lunch-times now.

Soi dog and Yorkshire pudding has become the local delicacy.

The gravy can be a bit thick, but the mint sauce really draws out the taste in the meat.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tut............bloody Northerners. Come off it . Soi dog is served with Horseradish sauce,not mint sauce. Stray cat is served with the latter. And if you're wondering, apple sauce goes with rat.

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OK, OK, I bow to you greater experience - you are right, of course.

But tell me do you still serve chocolate source with the roaches for pud(oops) dessert?

[Rinrada]

I just heard from our friends up north that there has been a sighting of wolves running around the Chiang Mai area

I know this was a regular thing about 20-30 years ago but believe that they were all eaten by the refugee indigi tribespeople from China and then basically became extinct.

Good to know that they are back but I am a bit worried about wifies 2 new cows.

Anybody know what they eat. (the wolves ,..not the...)

Anyway not too bothered really since our new foreman has just taken delivery of some new modern (better than the old flintlock/wotsits) elephant guns...so should be OK.

I must also mention that we have given orders and would never dream of harming any of the local wild elephants,boar,cats (both species)or even the phython size

snakes or the new inbred very large lizards that also seem to be making a wonderfull comeback.

[lampard10]

We have a lot of soi dogs roaming around BKK...is that the case in Chiang Mai as well?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You only see them at Sunday lunch-times now.

Soi dog and Yorkshire pudding has become the local delicacy.

The gravy can be a bit thick, but the mint sauce really draws out the taste in the meat.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tut............bloody Northerners. Come off it . Soi dog is served with Horseradish sauce,not mint sauce. Stray cat is served with the latter. And if you're wondering, apple sauce goes with rat.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OK, OK, I bow to you greater experience - you are right, of course.

But tell me do you still serve chocolate source with the roaches for pud(oops) dessert?

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Cheers T.M..............................You've given me an idea for next sundays sweet with the roast.

[cobra]

.. My next trip will be for six months so Chang Mai is definitely on the list. ..

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.... be advised that before existing the Chang Mai airport it is mandatory you be fitted with your first neck ring per local ordinance and custom, and an additional installed every week there after.

Eventual your 18" neck will come in handy at the crowded cinemas and sporting events. ... the north, definitely the north ...

[jackr]

Chiang Mai...No way! Went there a couple of months back. It's really gone downhill. Very few women now that the curfew is properly policed...katoeys with guns...beer chang up to 100 baht a bottle...all bars closed by 10pm...absolutely no sunshine due to incessant smoke and fog...bloody freezing in the cool season, couldn't even get up doi suthep to see the temple due to snow drifts...very unfriendly locals, whatever you do do not establish eye contact. Most of this is almost tolerable but the absolute worst for me is the once picturesque klong (moat) that encircles the old city is now full of dead monkeys and the odd pissed-up farang who got tossed in there by a ruthless katoey.

Chiang Mai...you can have it! give me the south and Muslims anyday.

[BaanOz]

Chiang Mai girls are absolutely fanciable !

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Are you serious?

Sure you don't need your eyes tested?

Chiang Mai girls ar dog UGLY

Yuck ...BaanOz

[Kathe]

Chiang Mai girls are absolutely fanciable !

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Are you serious?

Sure you don't need your eyes tested?

Chiang Mai girls ar dog UGLY

Yuck ...BaanOz

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Chiangmai girls or from northern are most beautiful in Thailand. Miss Thailands , Miss Universe are from northern thailand. We seldom have Miss Esaan as Miss Thailand, Miss Esaan is only for Farang.

[chuchok]

Chiang Mai girls are absolutely fanciable !

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Are you serious?

Sure you don't need your eyes tested?

Chiang Mai girls ar dog UGLY

Yuck ...BaanOz

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Chiangmai girls or from northern are most beautiful in Thailand. Miss Thailands , Miss Universe are from northern thailand. We seldom have Miss Esaan as Miss Thailand, Miss Esaan is only for Farang.

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The Thais love white skin. It would be great if they looked at the overall beauty of the person, rather than just skin colour, then maybe they would get a few more Miss Universe/World.

[Kathe]

Just come over and have a look with your own eyes. If you like hiking or hills, northern part isnt that bad. If you want little adventure by staying in the north and sit on Elephant for sightseeing or rafting on the river and enjoy sunset at golden triangle , would worth for. Then come down to the south to relax on our beautiful beaches, enjoy our food, or make friend with thai girl, would be worth too, if you like Drought and the heat or Esaan hot spicy food and the joyful of the ppl from Esaan, then visit Esaan, try to visit town which located on the river, because it's ###### hot there.

They want to cheer you to come down to Esaan , because mostly men here have Esaan wives..hehehee....they need more ppl to come to for a beer. Cheers !!!!

I prefer central Thailand to south and north. Not Esaan ,please !!!!!

[mpdkorat]

Chiangmai girls or from northern are most beautiful in Thailand. Miss Thailands , Miss Universe are from northern thailand. We seldom have Miss Esaan as Miss Thailand, Miss Esaan is only for Farang.

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''Miss Esaan is only for the Farang'' ................

Between the ages of 18 to 35 years there must be about 4 million ladies in Esaan to go around boys Lets get cracking long way to go..................

Edited May 24, 2005 by mpdkorat

[mnoorsapl]

TAT welcome you to "THAILAND"

In LOS , you are free to choose where you want to go, just bring your $$$.

[Bizz]

Beavis and Butthead do Thailand

Getting a massage

Butthead "Look Beavis, that dudes driving a go kart"

Beavis "Thats pretty cool"

Tuk tuk driver "Hello...You...You want go somewhere"

Butthead "Yeah, we wanna score"

Tuk tuk driver "No problem sir, i have marajuina for you"

Beavis "Mara wana..what the hells that"

Butthead "Its dope, you dumbass"

Beavis "Oh yeah, no we wanna score with a chick. With a lot of chicks..yeah"

Tuk tuk driver "You want lady?"

Butthead "I guess so..and we'll have some mara wana too"

Tuk tuk driver "Ok. No problem, 1000 baht, you want some happy pills. I sell to you..1000 baht"

Beavis "But what, dumbass"

Tuk tuk driver "Not but, 'baht', you must pay me baht"

Butthead "Give the dude some money Beavis"

Beavis "Oh okay, here you go, help yourself"

Tuk tuk driver "And this is for you sir, okay we find lady for you. Hold on"

And off they go

Beavis "This go kart rules"

Butthead "Its pretty cool, i think im getting high off the fumes and stuff"

Beavis "Yeah yeah, Im gonna get high too. These look like Smints, MUNCH MUNCH. Yeah..ha ha ha...MUNCH MUNCH"

Butthead "You fartknocker Beavis, some of those pills were mine too, you ate them all. (SLAP)"

Beavis "Oh yeah, sorry Butthead, i think i got carried away or something"

Tuk tuk driver "Okay we here, have many nice ladies for you"

Butthead "Thanks and stuff, come Beavis, we are at the promised land"

Beavis "Hey, that go kart dudes following us, he keeps smiling, i think he wants to score with us"

Butthead "Hes smiling at you Beavis...Can you like go away now?"

Tuk tuk driver "I help you find lady, would you follow me please"

Beavis "He said 'wood'"

Beavis and Butthead "ha ha..ha ha ha..nn nnn nnn ha ha ha"

Papasan "Hello handsome men, we have nice ladies for you, see behind glass, many lady, you choose one you like, give you good time"

Beavis "Butthead look, theres like a million chicks, and they all wanna score with us"

Butthead "They wanna score with me assmuncher...Come to Butthead..ha ha "

Beavis "Im gonna score first..(THUMP)...Ow.. theres a window in the way, i cant get to the chicks, that sucks"

Butthead "Settle down Beavis"

Beavis "No way, you told me I was gonna score and now im not gonna score. This always happens..nnn...nnn...Im never gonna score"

Papasan "take it easy sir"

Beavis "Are you threatening me?..(PULLS JUMPER OVER HEAD). I am cor-hoolio. I want tee pee for my bum-holio. You have tee-pee?"

Papasan "Sorry, i no understand"

Beavis "I must have tee-pee for my bum-holio (SMASH OF GLASS). I am cor-hoolio"

Butthead "Where are you going Beavis"

Papasan "asfdsadthai, REOPRHGDTHAI!, DSOHFDSOTHAI!. CRAZYFALANG!

Beavis "Hey Butthead, these chicks all have badges with numbers on, why Butthead?"

Butthead "I think that says how many times they've scored"

Beavis "Oh yeah, hey Butthead, this chicks scored 122 times, and shes got a gameboy"

Butthead "Thats pretty cool Beavis......Hey Baby...ha ha ha.. wanna see my schlong"

Massage girl 118 "I no know schlong"

Butthead "ha ha..okay. (PULLS DOWN SHORTS). Do you like, wanna suck it or something"

Massage Girl 118 "Oooay, mai mee quoi ai"

Butthead "Can you like speak English, are you stupid"

Beavis "Hey Butthead, this chick wont give me her gameboy"

Butthead "Go away Beavis, im about to score"

Papasan and his 5 thai heavies "sadfkthai, reptjythai, fdjfdothai"

Butthead "What do these dudes want"

Beavis "Are you threatening me, i am cor-hoolio"

Butthead "There trying to touch my schlong, get off me dude"

Beavis "Im not going anywhere without my chick"

Butthead "Yeah, can we get a takeaway chick or something, this place sucks"

Papasan and his 5 thai heavies "You come with us NOW!

And so they leave, for a polite lesson in thai etiquette and to do there best to save their faces...from being ripped off that is.

And they still havent scored, in thailand, that really sucks

[chownah]

And all the ice has Hepatitis A in it!

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=35092

Edited May 26, 2005 by chownah

[meadish_sweetball]

The North is badly polluted, haunted by tribal spirits and crazy missionary zealots, full of heroin addicts, child molesters and retired axe murderers. The girls are all long gone, all that is left in terms of human life is ladyboy lepers over 65 with syphilis, scurvy and no teeth. Some of them are also missionaries.

The indidence of rabies, pulmonary infections and road deaths is the highest in the country. Northerners are generally hot-headed, amphetamine-chewing maniacs who insist on playing golf with you. If you lose, you go to ######. If you win, you will be infused with a serum which makes sure you have to dance a jig and recite the Australian national anthem before you can open your mouth and try to communicate with anybody.

The food consists mainly of raw insects and dried mud. Anyone who tries to leave is caught by the guards and forced to undergo a severe lobotomy that will make them report to everybody they meet what a great place the North is. 86 good people died to bring me this top-secret information. Please do not let them die in vain.

PS. Stay out of the North. DS.