Who Would Have Thought..

[Ave]

Sorry..a bit bored today, can't sleep..never happens but hey, here we are..I'm getting tired of living here after six years..is it me or does it eventually happen when u have no ties and u r a single white female..?

[IanForbes]

I think it can happen to anyone of either gender. I believe everyone goes through an up cycle and a down cycle. I know it happens to me energy wise. When I have a down cycle it's easy to get a bit depressed. I also think luck plays a good part in how you feel. if your luck is running good it does a lot to change your opinion of things. A good sex life is one anti-depressant. Having a bunch of good friends willing to travel with is another positive thing.

[patong]

Ave, sounds like you are lonely and need some company.

Edited March 23, 2010 by patong

[aussiechick]

Ave - yes, it does happen - I have been here nearly 17 years (and a SWF) and there are times when you think <deleted> am I doing here and why am I still here but what I usually do is go where I know one of my friends is going to say or do something that makes me realise why I am here. Also sitting down and working out the alternative can make you laugh or cry I just have to go back to where I am from to realise that I would rather be here

I think it does happen to both genders - and I love IanForbes "a good sex life is one anti-depressant" if it works that's fine.

Whatever is happening in your life will either be the cause or conclusion of what you do.

The other option is a change either of lifestyle or locations - but at the end of the day the decision is yours and your alone.

Good luck

[NADTATIDA1]

You need a good group of friends around you,where ever you are in the world if not you can get depressed and bored pretty quickly.

Sex is a good depression beater yes but when sex is on tap you need more,there is nothing like laughter to get the juices flowing again i can assure you!

Aussie 17 years ? wow you the girl!

Ave get out and let your hair down it does work some time....sounds like you need a blow-out!

Ave....Aussiechick i am sure, can show the highlights of Pattaya

[Ave]

Thank you all for your encouragment, I had a bit of a moment there...

I have a job that I enjoy immensely here in the tentacular sin city and heaps of friends of many different nationalities. They invite me out all the time but I can't afford to go out in Pattaya as my salary is not enough for living la vida loca, I have to pay for and focus on my university studies.

Usually I am busy working after work and studying in the evenings and at weekends. Basically, I feel a bit trapped because I can't fly out to Europe to visit my family until I have finished my studies and they keep nagging me. After all, no pain no gain, I say to myself. It is easy to start but it's often difficult to persevere. The point is it can only get better, that's what I like to think and that keeps me anchored down.

There is also this attitude about feeling the need to change the scenery (I try hard to find some beauty in a city like Pattaya but all I see is the convenience: location, comforts, etc..) and start all over again which occurred to me after living in the UK for thirteen years.

Wherever I have lived and no matter how happy I was I was always planning some sort of change or improvement for the future I have never experienced boredom.

I have changed jobs and moved house constantly as a natural process just like I have been doing in Thailand, but I had never thought I would ever want to leave the UK. Lots of foreigners feel at home in cosmopolitan cities like London. Well, tired of London tired of life, they say..

I wonder whether the lack of a national identity, developing multicultural traits and adapting so easily to different environments without missing the places we have lived in before is going to make us want to move all the time and never settle down. It's good because it gives a great sense of freedom but I eventually I would like to find some sort of ideal location which I think at this point it's a healthy thought after all this hopping around. I bet that if I didn't feel stuck and had a choice I would probably want to stay exactly where I am...ah! I'll let you know after graduating..

Also, I must admit, but finding some romance in Pattaya seems a bit of a quest but fortunately I have no time for that. Most of the guys around my age are already married with children or not into farangs and I'm definitely not into toyboys.

Yes, I agree, sex is an important part of adult's life but apart from the health and safety factor in a city like this and a part from the wondeful people I have met so far, in general, it all seems to be a bit too artificial to me and money orientated. The pollution together with the traffic and the general atmosphere can get a bit heavy at times. Perhaps I've only gone a bit out of synch. Could be the news getting me down..

Thank you for reading my rant..;-)

[bkkjames]

You know the old saying, the grass is greener on the other side of klong toey - it's probably true.

[Ave]

You know the old saying, the grass is greener on the other side of klong toey - it's probably true.

agree

[kangeroo]

hi i spend 6 months in thai and 6 months in australia that works for me .

[Ave]

hi i spend 6 months in thai and 6 months in australia that works for me .

that's ideal!

[IanForbes]

Your location could have a lot to do with the problem. Although Pattaya is considered "sin city", it is more oriented towards men with money. As a single white female in a town geared towards sex for males and gays it is like swimming upstream. The single farangs have too much to choose from and they locate in Pattaya for that very purpose. It's tough for ANY SWF no matter how good looking she might be. Many of the farang men in Pattaya are there to GET AWAY from their bad relationships elsewhere.

However, you mentioned a job and studies, so that makes things more difficult. I personally think you would prefer Chiang Mai where it's a little more cosmopolitan with lots of students and farangs of all tastes. Or, if it must be the ocean you love then I'd pick Krabi before anywhere else. Krabi is not so IN YOUR FACE like Pattaya... even though there are outlets for that sort of taste.

[sbk]

Altho not single I do know what you mean, and yes I get tired of thailand. But I realize its a phase and something happens that makes me appreciate it all over again.

Sounds more like you are homesick for your family --tough place to be, as it does make Thailand that much harder to bear when you are missing them. My oldest nephew and his wife had a baby when I was home last year, he will be one year old and I've seen him probably a grand total of 10 hours. . Missed watching my youngest nephew grow up, he's now a 14 year old that just earned his brown belt in karate. Missed that too. Its tough when you are close with your family, I know. Get them on skype and talk to them face to face on webcam. It will help.

And, remember your goals and why you made them and what makes them important.

[bina]

u know, its funny but this is similar to what is being discussed on that 'do u have to love thailand' thread: people that are less rooted are more likely to get up and move somehwere else when tired of where they are , even if the 'boredom' ennui or whatever is actually coming from within themselves. what i mean is: here where i live, even in the worst moments (wars/kassams/katushyas) my urge to go back to the states was really nil. my parents ahve offerred time and time again when it gets rough here to fly kids and me over 'for a while' . i wouldnt know what to do if i really went back.

if i move to thailand, im sure i will miss things here but not in the deep rooted way my kids feel about living here. they have a very deeply rooted feeling about living in this specific country regardless of what happens, and they are deeply connected to family school and army friendsthe kibbutz whatever. anon as a thai seems to have that same connection with his home village (that obsession to identify new workers' changwat: khon korat mai?) ... for those of us that dont have that deep rooted feeling, if we dont like something, we just look for something newer (greener pastures), always the rover.

however, we also have a saying about older people that move here as opposed to younger folks that are here for religious/zionist/gf/bf reasons: they bring their baggage with them. so after a while, they feel discontented here also.

are u bored with thailand? or bored with your personal situation: work all day/study all day/going out but not having a more 'deep' settled' life style (purpose in life other then getting the degree/ bored with the single , going out in the evenings lifestyle) ... most likely u will move somewhere else and after a while get bored/discontented again. some people are naturally discontented with themselves or life in general until the stumble on the place/person/idea that centers them (i was like that until this 2 marriage>my eldest seems to have the same tendencies).

maybe u just need a few days solitude away from everyone. it is easier to feel lonely a nd dissatisfied when u are surrounded by people and things rather then when u are on your own. maybe u need a fish/cat/bird to greet u in the evening at home (if u dont have already).

ooops rambling as usual and forgot my point ) but i empathize as i used to feel this way on kibbutz also... but also, just ride it through like a wave, cause usually thats what these feelings are: waves of discontent in a rather steady lifestyle. if u are really bored i can arrange for a trip in some politically unstable area for some excitement )

off to work...

bina

israel

[brd]

Bina,

Bravo you are smart and let this young man to go thorugh his waves we all are going through. He is a happy, lucky man what else is he missing ? a partner and is he keen to share with one ? not that sure.

Anyway he has a lot of support and yourself Bina you are a survivor teach him/

Best regards, brd

u know, its funny but this is similar to what is being discussed on that 'do u have to love thailand' thread: people that are less rooted are more likely to get up and move somehwere else when tired of where they are , even if the 'boredom' ennui or whatever is actually coming from within themselves. what i mean is: here where i live, even in the worst moments (wars/kassams/katushyas) my urge to go back to the states was really nil. my parents ahve offerred time and time again when it gets rough here to fly kids and me over 'for a while' . i wouldnt know what to do if i really went back.

if i move to thailand, im sure i will miss things here but not in the deep rooted way my kids feel about living here. they have a very deeply rooted feeling about living in this specific country regardless of what happens, and they are deeply connected to family school and army friendsthe kibbutz whatever. anon as a thai seems to have that same connection with his home village (that obsession to identify new workers' changwat: khon korat mai?) ... for those of us that dont have that deep rooted feeling, if we dont like something, we just look for something newer (greener pastures), always the rover.

however, we also have a saying about older people that move here as opposed to younger folks that are here for religious/zionist/gf/bf reasons: they bring their baggage with them. so after a while, they feel discontented here also.

are u bored with thailand? or bored with your personal situation: work all day/study all day/going out but not having a more 'deep' settled' life style (purpose in life other then getting the degree/ bored with the single , going out in the evenings lifestyle) ... most likely u will move somewhere else and after a while get bored/discontented again. some people are naturally discontented with themselves or life in general until the stumble on the place/person/idea that centers them (i was like that until this 2 marriage>my eldest seems to have the same tendencies).

maybe u just need a few days solitude away from everyone. it is easier to feel lonely a nd dissatisfied when u are surrounded by people and things rather then when u are on your own. maybe u need a fish/cat/bird to greet u in the evening at home (if u dont have already).

ooops rambling as usual and forgot my point ) but i empathize as i used to feel this way on kibbutz also... but also, just ride it through like a wave, cause usually thats what these feelings are: waves of discontent in a rather steady lifestyle. if u are really bored i can arrange for a trip in some politically unstable area for some excitement )

off to work...

bina

israel

[sbk]

Ave is female

[Ave]

Your location could have a lot to do with the problem. Although Pattaya is considered "sin city", it is more oriented towards men with money. As a single white female in a town geared towards sex for males and gays it is like swimming upstream. The single farangs have too much to choose from and they locate in Pattaya for that very purpose. It's tough for ANY SWF no matter how good looking she might be. Many of the farang men in Pattaya are there to GET AWAY from their bad relationships elsewhere.

However, you mentioned a job and studies, so that makes things more difficult. I personally think you would prefer Chiang Mai where it's a little more cosmopolitan with lots of students and farangs of all tastes. Or, if it must be the ocean you love then I'd pick Krabi before anywhere else. Krabi is not so IN YOUR FACE like Pattaya... even though there are outlets for that sort of taste.

You are right, it feels a bit like being totally invisible sometimes, which is what I was looking for after living in a small village under the spotlight on a daily basis for three years. The beauty of Pattaya life is that there is always something to do or somewhere to go 24-7, no restrictions and lots of freedom.

I ended up in Pattaya because I had to find a job very quickly and thanks to the generous expats for choosing this location and the intensive reproduction activity going on, finding work in education was not a problem..

Chiang Mai would be nice, Krabi is a good location too! What about further south, Surat Thani, Hat Yai?

[Ave]

Ave is female

I think I'm turning into something else..

[Ave]

Altho not single I do know what you mean, and yes I get tired of thailand. But I realize its a phase and something happens that makes me appreciate it all over again.

Sounds more like you are homesick for your family --tough place to be, as it does make Thailand that much harder to bear when you are missing them. My oldest nephew and his wife had a baby when I was home last year, he will be one year old and I've seen him probably a grand total of 10 hours. . Missed watching my youngest nephew grow up, he's now a 14 year old that just earned his brown belt in karate. Missed that too. Its tough when you are close with your family, I know. Get them on skype and talk to them face to face on webcam. It will help.

And, remember your goals and why you made them and what makes them important.

Like you sbk I do miss my nieces a lot but, although I love my family dearly and talk to them every single week, I don't miss them nor my country, I'm sorry to admit that .....

I left home and my country twenty years ago and never looked back. I wanted to be free to live in a different country for at least five years and learn everything that there is to learn from it. I have never planned to raise kids or have a family though I have had long term relationships and nearly got married three times but the guys in question chickened out at the last minute, had an affair or become violent. I guess they sensed that I didn't really want to stick around and that probably freaked them out. Having itchy feet helped me overcome these experiences quickly. I treasure them as valuable experiences, though. Whilst keeping strong ties with a bunch of good friends around the world I never go back to live in the same place or with the same partner. I see life as this amazing adventurous journey during which we give a piece of ourselves to everyone and that every little interaction has its importance and beauty. We also change and so does our environment..I think it's exciting to fantasise on what we will decide to do next..!

[Ave]

u know, its funny but this is similar to what is being discussed on that 'do u have to love thailand' thread: people that are less rooted are more likely to get up and move somehwere else when tired of where they are , even if the 'boredom' ennui or whatever is actually coming from within themselves. what i mean is: here where i live, even in the worst moments (wars/kassams/katushyas) my urge to go back to the states was really nil. my parents ahve offerred time and time again when it gets rough here to fly kids and me over 'for a while' . i wouldnt know what to do if i really went back.

if i move to thailand, im sure i will miss things here but not in the deep rooted way my kids feel about living here. they have a very deeply rooted feeling about living in this specific country regardless of what happens, and they are deeply connected to family school and army friendsthe kibbutz whatever. anon as a thai seems to have that same connection with his home village (that obsession to identify new workers' changwat: khon korat mai?) ... for those of us that dont have that deep rooted feeling, if we dont like something, we just look for something newer (greener pastures), always the rover.

however, we also have a saying about older people that move here as opposed to younger folks that are here for religious/zionist/gf/bf reasons: they bring their baggage with them. so after a while, they feel discontented here also.

are u bored with thailand? or bored with your personal situation: work all day/study all day/going out but not having a more 'deep' settled' life style (purpose in life other then getting the degree/ bored with the single , going out in the evenings lifestyle) ... most likely u will move somewhere else and after a while get bored/discontented again. some people are naturally discontented with themselves or life in general until the stumble on the place/person/idea that centers them (i was like that until this 2 marriage>my eldest seems to have the same tendencies).

maybe u just need a few days solitude away from everyone. it is easier to feel lonely a nd dissatisfied when u are surrounded by people and things rather then when u are on your own. maybe u need a fish/cat/bird to greet u in the evening at home (if u dont have already).

ooops rambling as usual and forgot my point ) but i empathize as i used to feel this way on kibbutz also... but also, just ride it through like a wave, cause usually thats what these feelings are: waves of discontent in a rather steady lifestyle. if u are really bored i can arrange for a trip in some politically unstable area for some excitement )

off to work...

bina

israel

And funnily enough I nearly joined Handicap for a 2 or 3 year assignment..! Then I realised that I needed some initial experience in the voluntary sector first, decide what kind of qualification to go for, specialise in something rewarding and useful at the same time, and ended up staying with a job in the voluntary sector in Isarn instead.

Without a doubt everything that happens to us comes from us, I don't believe in luck or destiny and I'm glad to be convinced that it all comes down to how and where we choose to live our life. In a way living in Pattaya has changed me for the better, I have become less prejudiced, more compassionate and, believe it or not, in general more spiritual. Here I found the buddhist centre that I had been looking for for such a long time.

I also think that Pattaya has a strange effect on many people who live here. During the week, if I ride my bike into town I sometimes get exausted by the reckless driving often fuelled by alcohol and/or drugs and in general by the fast pace of living. When I go to Bangkok and get back to Pattaya it feels good to be back 'home', more breeze, less traffic congestion, etc.. There is definitely an element of the grass been greener on the other side of the fence..

Starting university at forty whilst on an engaging full-time job can be hard work and get us down at times but it's definitely worth it when we try to visualise the opportunities awaiting ahead, as another poster meant to say.

I just had an unusually tiring week..back to normal happy now, cheers

[desi]

Sorry..a bit bored today, can't sleep..never happens but hey, here we are..I'm getting tired of living here after six years..is it me or does it eventually happen when u have no ties and u r a single white female..?

I've been here six years too, and experienced a range of reactions: The honeymoon stage, doubts creeping in, dislike, distain, anger... and now I'm comfortably on the other side. Some of the emotions are still there but (knock on wood) they are less of a roller-coaster ride. Because one thing is clear - I'm not bored for long in Thailand!

A friend of mine is now facing the possibility of leaving Thailand. When we started discussing what she'll miss of her life here, I once again realised just how much I love the place. Thailand is not perfect, but it's home for now. At whenever I start thinking of moving back to the UK, buying a cottage in the country, and putting down gardening stakes, I know that I'd soon start dreaming of the comforts of living in Thailand.

Note: I do not live in Pattaya and I'm not single. But I am a white female.

[donna]

i stayed in Thailand for 8.5 years all up. I loved MOST of my time there, and i loved MOST things about it. My last two years were spent in Phuket and i became a little disillusioned in the end. more than likely the reason for that was the fact that i worked smack in Patong during those two years. whilst in phuket i made some great friends and remain in touch until now, but in the end, i think it was the sex tourism in my face that got to me.

i have been in Bali for just over 2 years now, and am quite settled here.

When in thailand i did go through stages of 'what the hel_l am i doing here' but i did get over them.

i guess there comes a time in many peoples lives where they move on. and the grass IS often greener on the other side - probably because we cultivate it more.

[ozzieovaseas]

hi i spend 6 months in thai and 6 months in australia that works for me .

that's ideal!

I do the same, and let me tell you after six months in Australia i cant wait to get back to LOS.

I think its more of a mental game to appreciate the small stuff and allow yourself to be satisfied in whatever environment your in.

When i am in LOS i am happy just to not have to work, not having to deal with clowns day in and out, and not have to be part of this westernized rat race that believes a persons whole worth in life depends on what "stuff" they have.

When in LOS i even count myself as lucky to not understand the local lingo and being cut off from the world news if i so choose.

After a few weeks in Oz i have to ban myself from watching most aussie TV or news...So depressing and the current affairs so sensational and negative, not to mention the constant bombardment of moron advertising selling all manner of crap. If there are large parts of Oz society on anti-depressants i can see why. Ignorance is bliss

OP, from what you posted it sounds like you have a great life that many others would envy, but as always, in the relative isolation of life in LOS our minds can easily wonder back to what we have'nt got, instead of focusing on the reality of how lucky we are to be free of all the trappings our friends back home obsess over.

You sound like you have an active lifestyle, the only thing i can add from experience is having a good physical workout does wonders for the soul and mind..(and no...im not hinting along the lines of Ian Forbes and his addictions!)

I also count myself lucky to have ample time to hit the gym while in BK and the benefits of doing so are amazing..

And considering the heat you guys are having in LOS now, the few hours of cold gym air-con would be a bonus

[ozzieovaseas]

Your location could have a lot to do with the problem. Although Pattaya is considered "sin city", it is more oriented towards men with money. As a single white female in a town geared towards sex for males and gays it is like swimming upstream. The single farangs have too much to choose from and they locate in Pattaya for that very purpose. It's tough for ANY SWF no matter how good looking she might be. Many of the farang men in Pattaya are there to GET AWAY from their bad relationships elsewhere.

However, you mentioned a job and studies, so that makes things more difficult. I personally think you would prefer Chiang Mai where it's a little more cosmopolitan with lots of students and farangs of all tastes. Or, if it must be the ocean you love then I'd pick Krabi before anywhere else. Krabi is not so IN YOUR FACE like Pattaya... even though there are outlets for that sort of taste.

I can see where this is going

Gonna be back in changers soon then Ian?

[Mermaid53]

hi i spend 6 months in thai and 6 months in australia that works for me .

that's exactly what I want to do; give us more on how you do this please as my accountant tells me if I have property overseas I will get audited by the taxation office yearly... bummer! could just rent for 6 months tho, is that what you do as I have my own house here in NSW Australia.

[Ave]

Yes, that phase is definitely over. Thank u all for your precious advice. I simply needed a rest and the freedom to make some choices. I cleared some some of my debt, moved into a nice house in the countryside, got adopted by a pregnant cat. Got some kittens to give away soon, they were born on 24th July. Anyone interested...?

[fletchsmile]

Had similar thoughts myself a few years back. Had done several years here. Decided to leave to ensure career stays on track, ensure I could cut it elsewhere, and put some perspective on life here.

Tolerance and patience can be positive attributes. On the other hand, complacency, bad habits and tolerance of injustice, inequality or things that are plain wrong can gradually and easily build up on people here. They become easily accepted, along with the more positive sides of with a "mai pen wrai" attitude. It's always easier to look at life somewhere more objectively from the outside.

Funnily enough though we got married, had kids and came back here for a while. Gives a much more balanced view on life here having been away for a while. Much easier to see the country for what it is good and bad. Funnily enough don't have the same ups and downs about the country any more either...

To really appreciate Disneyland or a House of Horrors Show don't spend all your time there... Thailand's not so different

Edited July 30, 2010 by fletchsmile

[fletchsmile]

All that is gold does not glitter, and all that glitters is not gold

Edited July 30, 2010 by fletchsmile