Falling Out With Thai Friends...

[Neeranam]

There's a Thai saying that refers to the wife as the hind legs (supporter) of the elephant.... I sometimes reminded myself within earshot of my wife that it's the butt, too 

Ajarn, I heard that phrase first when I got married. My wife said that I was the front legs(I made the decisions), ie she would follow me wherever I went and support me, however she has turned out to be somewhat like a back-seat driver now telling me the directions!

[Totster]

There's a Thai saying that refers to the wife as the hind legs (supporter) of the elephant.... I sometimes reminded myself within earshot of my wife that it's the butt, too 

Ajarn, I heard that phrase first when I got married. My wife said that I was the front legs(I made the decisions), ie she would follow me wherever I went and support me, however she has turned out to be somewhat like a back-seat driver now telling me the directions!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ha ha .... I get that also, but when I'm riding the motorbike, my wife tells me when to change gear, beep the horn, indicate, brake...

Sorry... off topic, but I thought it was funny. (and neeranam, I know thats probably not what you meant)

totster

Edited May 28, 2005 by Totster

[Ajarn]

There's a Thai saying that refers to the wife as the hind legs (supporter) of the elephant.... I sometimes reminded myself within earshot of my wife that it's the butt, too 

Ajarn, I heard that phrase first when I got married. My wife said that I was the front legs(I made the decisions), ie she would follow me wherever I went and support me, however she has turned out to be somewhat like a back-seat driver now telling me the directions!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one with a talking butt

[bkkmadness]

Can someone tell me that Thai saying? I've gotta start using it with 'er indoors.

[ChiangMaiThai]

From my experience it's the other way around.  Farang tend to hold "grudges" much longer than Thai.  It has a lot to do with the "mai pen rai" attitude that is inbred within Thais.

They are much more pragmatic w/regard to social situations than Farang can ever hope to be.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I believe it to be the exact opposite. Sure everything will appear to be okay on the surface. Sure they will say mai pen rai and flash the famous smile. But deep down inside it takes a long time to truly forgive.

Just because its a Buddhist country doesn't mean that everyone is deep in blissful meditation and deep contemplation. Its a fuc#ing violent, harsh culture. Its just not shown on the surface as in the West.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2005-05-28 21:02:08)

QUOTE

There's a Thai saying that refers to the wife as the hind legs (supporter) of the elephant.... I sometimes reminded myself within earshot of my wife that it's the butt, too 

Ajarn, I heard that phrase first when I got married. My wife said that I was the front legs(I made the decisions), ie she would follow me wherever I went and support me, however she has turned out to be somewhat like a back-seat driver now telling me the directions!

I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one with a talking butt 

I hope your wife doesn't check up on what you write on this forum

[Neeranam]

Pu Chai Chang Tao Na, Pu Ying Chang Tao Lang.

But remember when the elephant walks he often walks backwards

[bkkmadness]

Cheers Neeranam, thats getting remembered and used tonight.

[chuchok]

Pu Chai Chang Tao Na, Pu Ying Chang Tao Lang.

But remember when the elephant walks he often walks backwards

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

just told that too the wife.. she laughed and told be I had it the "long way again"

[Totster]

Pu Chai Chang Tao Na, Pu Ying Chang Tao Lang.

But remember when the elephant walks he often walks backwards

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Excellent.... right I'm off to call the wife...

totster

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Who is this scampster fella? Regardless of what went on, who the ###### is he to lecture his 'friends' wife in their own home? Surely the concern should be his relationship with the husband as much as the wife.This has got sod all to do with Thailand and more to do with some smart arse who needs to learn there is a time for talking and a time for listening.

Everyone is capable of holding a grudge often exhibited in many different ways.Get real , stop analysing and life will become much more enjoyable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Who is this Pie Boy????

Let me tell you something, I am complete and total a*shole when I want to be, but don't twist and distort the little information I've given as an example.

This post is based on previous minor fall out's with Thai's also, weather it be me or them in the wrong and over the most trival things sometimes... I can't give an example because you'll pounce on that instead of concentrating on the topic.

The reason this is silly is because you will translate the information in the way that it suits you.

I'm not on here to justify my actions, and the fact that at one time I had said "Jeff really doesn't like it when you swear, it doesn't sound very nice" does not make it the drunken and rude lecture you have it as in your head, though maybe this is how it was seen by Aum and being a Thai in a foreign environment she may have taken this the wrong way and been too sensitive, or perhaps she takes criticism very badly - Either way, they are both traits that I posess and I was making that point as a friend.

Please for goodness sake just join in the debate sensibly like most people have done, including a couple of Thai posters.

Maybe it's you who has a grudge against me, in which case go to Bedlam and start a Gentleman Scamp critique thread and all your fellow flamers can use my past posts and open hearted comments against me.

It's fine if you don't like me but if you're going to comment in somebody's thread, at least answer the question and comment on the question, not the poster - especially if you don't know them.

[The_Moog]

QUOTE(The_Moog @ 2005-05-28 20:32:19)

Scampo---- is this affronted Thai lady an ex-hooker?

*

Why should that matter.... what a stupid question

totster ph34

because if she is, (or a rural background) then she's from an environment where fruity language is not seen as a problem.

i.e Like Pygmalion.

"Has the water buffalo gone to the bathroom"

"No he's having a shit"

[bkkmadness]

and being a Thai in a foreign environment she may have taken this the wrong way and been too sensitive

"Yeah, that must of been it, those bloody Thais in those bloody foreign enviroments, over sensistive and grudge bearing the lot of them! Must be a racial trait, wonder what the boys on thaivisa think? they'll know all the Thai people and make the right judgement."

Can you not see how the topic looks a bit a stupid Scamp, as many of the topics saying "are the Thais this, and are the Thais that" often are?

I think if you didn't want people to talk about your situation with Aum then you shouldn't have written half the post about her and your arguments with her.

Don't tell me your little situation with this girl didn't inspire you to start up this bordering on racist topic? And lets just call it like it is and stop hiding behind the niceities of words like cultural differences and all that crap. If someone started a topic "are black people aggresive coz a black guy hit me last week" then it would be a different matter.

Edited May 28, 2005 by bkkmadness

[Ajarn]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2005-05-28 21:02:08)

QUOTE

There's a Thai saying that refers to the wife as the hind legs (supporter) of the elephant.... I sometimes reminded myself within earshot of my wife that it's the butt, too 

Ajarn, I heard that phrase first when I got married. My wife said that I was the front legs(I made the decisions), ie she would follow me wherever I went and support me, however she has turned out to be somewhat like a back-seat driver now telling me the directions!

I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one with a talking butt 

I hope your wife doesn't check up on what you write on this forum

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ex

Hope your wife doesn't know where I live

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Her past is as irellevant as mine to the topic.

I was in the wrong, we fell out, I apologised but didn't wish to discuss it with her because from past experience with Thai's, they never truly forgive and forget.

I thought this would make a good topic, and generally (there's another generalisation - it doesn't mean EVERYONE, it means generally) - it has been a valid topic of debate.

Moogy - wait till I see you next.

[Totster]

QUOTE(The_Moog @ 2005-05-28 20:32:19)

Scampo---- is this affronted Thai lady an ex-hooker?

*

Why should that matter.... what a stupid question

totster ph34

because if she is, (or a rural background) then she's from an environment where fruity language is not seen as a problem.

i.e Like Pygmalion.

"Has the water buffalo gone to the bathroom"

"No he's having a shit"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Then why did you not say.." is she from a rural background"...? and then explain why you asked.

Your post also then makes the assumption that all girls from rural backgrounds are hookers... this makes you look like a &lt;deleted&gt;.

totster

[The_Moog]

Called 'poot pro' in Thai.....using polite language.

...if you're from a ...lets say.....'common' background (i'll get busted for whatever qualifier I use, peasant, rural, bargirl, uneducated...any one, OR, (for you analytical deconstructionists) a combination of these - they, each, being mutually exclusive)

...then you may use the wrong words. Then in politer Thai society one has to adjust.

In reality....

....I expect El Scampo leapt on the table gyrating during Sunday lunch. Stripped down to his scants shouting 'Do I make you horny? Do I?'

Now that really is an impossible scenario - ..........or............. is it?

Edited May 28, 2005 by The_Moog

[The Gentleman Scamp]

and being a Thai in a foreign environment she may have taken this the wrong way and been too sensitive

"Yeah, that must of been it, those bloody Thais in those bloody foreign enviroments, over sensistive and grudge bearing the lot of them! Must be a racial trait, wonder what the boys on thaivisa think? they'll know all the Thai people and make the right judgement."

Can you not see how the topic looks a bit a stupid Scamp, as many of the topics saying "are the Thais this, and are the Thais that" often are?

I think if you didn't want people to talk about your situation with Aum then you shouldn't have written half the post about her and your arguments with her.

Don't tell me your little situation with this girl didn't inspire you to start up this bordering on racist topic? And lets just call it like it is and stop hiding behind the niceities of words like cultural differences and all that crap. If someone started a topic "are black people aggresive coz a black guy hit me last week" then it would be a different matter.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm sorry mate, I shouldn't laugh but you really are taking this badly.

Remember, her name's not Aum and he's not Jeff - I changed their names for the sake of their privacy.

Last night I was invited upstairs to drink with the Thai staff of the local pub/Thai restaurant after they had finished work and after a couple of drinks they revealed that they didn't like Aum after I'd said we'd fallen out.

They didn't think I was racist and I didn't think they were.

I once fell out with my mother over something silly and spoke to a friend about it, to which he replied - "What is it with women eh?"... Now in your book does that make him a sexist?

Well does it or doesn't it?

And because of our online fall out today, will you take that with you to future posts?

...Come on Madness, how Thai are you?

Edited May 28, 2005 by The Gentleman Scamp

[bkkmadness]

Errm, I also used the covert name Aum as well since this was her online name for the day.

Quite literally the "all women are the same" thing is sexist, but ok, lets all be honest not too much of a bad thing like some racial discrimination isn't always a bad thing, I myself will say "farang do this" and "thais are like this" because I don't seriously believe any of this. But you seem to?

I suppose my point is what will you do with the outcome of the results of this topic Scamp? You said before you didn't want to take the matter further with Aum because of previous experience with Thai people, perhaps you should give the girl a chance based on her being an individual.

I think if everybody said "yep Scamp, all Thais hold grudges" then that would be your belief from now onwards and thats stupid, and you would firmly believe this Thai girl would hold a grudge against you because a load of people on a net forum said so because she's Thai.

Why ask a load of people on the net about it? Surely with your experience of Thai people you can decide yourself whther they all hold grudges on not. These generalisations are pretty stupid and totally not factual most of the time, well all of the time really.

BTW dont take this all too personally Scamp, Im disagreeing with you post here, why would I take that onto further topics with you? I don't disagree or agree with someone because of their name, but based on what they say. This is hardly an online fall out, man you really are too sensitive.

I don't hold grudges Scamp over a disagreement, though have to say your previous posting about the Thais when you left Thailand wasn't to my taste either.

I can see you going onto another forum now and starting a "Do forum posters hold grudges" topic.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Errm, I also used the covert name Aum as well since this was her online name for the day.

Quite literally the "all women are the same" thing is sexist, but ok, lets all be honest not too much of a bad thing like some racial discrimination isn't always a bad thing, I myself will say "farang do this" and "thais are like this" because I don't seriously believe any of this.  But you seem to?

I suppose my point is what will you do with the outcome of the results of this topic Scamp?  You said before you didn't want to take the matter further with Aum because of previous experience with Thai people, perhaps you should give the girl a chance based on her being an individual.

I think if everybody said "yep Scamp, all Thais hold grudges" then that would be your belief from now onwards and thats stupid, and you would firmly believe this Thai girl would hold a grudge against you because a load of people on a net forum said so because she's Thai.

Why ask a load of people on the net about it?  Surely with your experience of Thai people you can decide yourself whther they all hold grudges on not.  These generalisations are pretty stupid and totally not factual most of the time, well all of the time really.

BTW dont take this all too personally Scamp, Im disagreeing with you post here, why would I take that onto further topics with you?  I don't disagree or agree with someone because of their name, but based on what they say.  This is hardly an online fall out, man you really are too sensitive.

I don't hold grudges Scamp over a disagreement, though have to say your previous posting about the Thais when you left Thailand wasn't to my taste either.

I can see you going onto another forum now and starting a "Do forum posters hold grudges" topic.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bear in mind I didn't really like her as a person, regardless of the fact she was Thai or not, and I just couldn't be bothered to discuss it with her... Her hubby, then yes, as i've known him about twelve years and I'd rather discuss it with him as that's the friend I value the most.

Your right that I can be over sensitive at times, though more over defensive in this case but that's just one of my many faults, you'll generally find that other Scamps are the same.

Anyway, seriously - I wasn't ASKING anything on here, but seeing if others agreed that the Thai's are slightly different to us when it comes to forgiving and forgetting, now surely it isn't racist to say they are different to us in some areas.

If they were the same, they wouldn't be Thai.

Generalising is not racial discrimination, it's a generalisation that the Aussies love beer or that the Israelis are unfriendly and that the Japanese are robotic workers but it's as racist as it is 100% accurate.

I posted here to see if mine was a shared opinion, now despite my online shortcomings, I'd say that your one was being a little too overly PC which is not something Thailand generally is which is one of the reasons I love it.

Other than that Maddie, I've always enjoyed your posts and I suppose because of that I give more of a toss if we have a little spat, but only flamers, Scamp bashers and idiots are allowed to call me an ass*ole and I've never known you to be either.

That's not to say I'm not, I AM an ass*ole I AM - but you don't know that.

I'm not a racist though, you don't know that either but I do.

Edited May 28, 2005 by The Gentleman Scamp

[bkkmadness]

Ok Scamp, I follow your reasoning, I just don't think its a very good topic like most about "are all Thais this" because despite being a different culture they are all individual and one Thai person can act totally different from another, so theres the answer to your question.

And yes, you was being an a.sshole for saying she was badly spoken in her own home, it was rude of you as a guest in her home.

[The_Moog]

I can see you going onto another forum now and starting a "Do forum posters hold grudges" topic.

I don't think so.

*Banned*.

He appears exclusively here now.

Bit like Elvis in Vegas.

[bkkmadness]

Moog, I wasn't referring to that forum, just any forum as a joke, by the way, dont think he was banned from that forum either, just a slap on the wrist suspension.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Ok Scamp, I follow your reasoning, I just don't think its a very good topic like most about "are all Thais this" because despite being a different culture they are all individual and one Thai person can act totally different from another, so theres the answer to your question.

And yes, you was being an a.sshole for saying she was badly spoken in her own home, it was rude of you as a guest in her home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You see, I don't think that was bad, and if anyone she was the only one who did.

It wasn't nice for anyone to see her swearing all the time and because she's a little difficult to live with by her own admission (and others) and because I knew her very well and because I was only staying there a few days - I thought I'd be the one to mention it lightheartedly which I did... That didn't cause any problems, she listened to me but didn't really say much.

Should I have mentioned it to her outside the front door?

Anyway - this is still irrelevant to the topic, I was an ass*ole for getting drunk in her home and being a clumsy &lt;deleted&gt;, I wouldn't have done it in Thailand... For starters, I can handle the beer out threre.

Well, it was cider actually but nevermind.

Edited May 28, 2005 by The Gentleman Scamp

[bkkmadness]

Ciders lethal Scamp, stay off it!

I think really not mentioning it all would have been the best bet. If her hubby dont like it, let him sort it out, he married her.

To insult someone while you are staying at their house though as their guest is a big no no though.

[Totster]

I wouldn't have done it in Thailand...  For starters, I can handle the beer out threre.

Well, it was cider actually but nevermind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Strange that... I can handle my drink better in LOS also...

Just been thinking, I hope you didn't introduce your friend to this site... he/she may be having an interesting read now...

totster

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Shhhh... Thomas is reading.

[bkkmadness]

Shhhh...  Thomas is reading.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

for some reason I found that bloody funny Scamp, I dont usually actually start laughing when I read something on here but that done it. Maybe its all the T.Merton bashing of late I keep seeing, or maybe the character of T. Merton himself.

Good to have a few characters on a forum, come on Tommy.

[Thomas_Merton]

Shhhh...  Thomas is reading.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thomas can't read.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Shhhh...  Thomas is reading.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

for some reason I found that bloody funny Scamp, I dont usually actually start laughing when I read something on here but that done it. Maybe its all the T.Merton bashing of late I keep seeing, or maybe the character of T. Merton himself.

Good to have a few characters on a forum, come on Tommy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm glad I finally got a positive reaction from you today.

As for TM, I thought he would have got stuck into this as he, like myself, is an ass*ole who is forever being bashed and flamed.

On a more serious note, would be interesting to hear from some more Thai's also.