How Thai Girls And Thai's In General Think?

[atyclb]

I agree with the dude who says stay away from girls with tattoos.

The typical streotypical/bigoted/generalisation response I have come to expect on TV.

Per the tattoo shown...Mrs Soutpeel has one similar which was done after we were married, prior to meeting me, she had none, so where does that put your theroy now ??

Usually the farangs who shout the loudest about girls/tattoo's/Issan/Bargirls etc etc have the most to "hide" about their relationships.....

Let me say I know Thai uni grads (real not pseudo) with that style tattoo left shoulder. Religious in nature. I have yet to see it on ethnic Thai-Chinese girls.

Thai girls with multiple exposed tattoos tend to be service girls. Have known some artist types that have exposed tattoos, even from good families with money, though it is not common.

A service gal with multiple exposed tattoos told me she did many of them while drinking and also emulating white western guys with tattoos because the belief is white = high class.

In all honesty, if the huge sex industry did not exist there would not be nearly so many expats living here, or even interested in the country.

But now that everyone is here, we try to analyze and become the experts on women.

For me the great majority of women here are boring, regardless of social status, and I have experience with all stratum.

Even if you get a physically attractive female friend if she is not interesting, dynamic, have personality, etc etc, it gets dull. I guess the saving grace is when she is upscale and not in need of your/our money. That can be a better experience. Typically my local friends have studied abroad and have "outside the box" thinking and outside interests, hobbies, musical instruments, sports, etc.

In actuality the educational process creates a society of many robotic like people, shy, afraid to make a social mistake, in addition to the lack of cognitive abilities. A culture rife in corruption and cheating further damages society. Often these Thai friends also say they feel disillusioned and alienated if not fed up in their own country. Complain about erratic unreliable behavior, lack of punctuality, inappropriate affect, but attribute it to a sad truth, that is the reality of education and indoctrination.

Perhaps the fact that a multitude of educated Thai males have dreamed about getting a Japanese wife should tell us something.........

Many expats here are retired and for them all the entertainment venues sure may be much better than life in the suburbs of EC or USA. Actually I dont disagree with them. Seems there can be those who say walk through Siam Paragon and the likes thinking/ hoping/ praying the very nice upscale gals will come on to them as the entertainment venue ones do. I can see the dream and the frustration in their faces. Actually I may have had some of those very same emotions when first staying in the country. Those feelings are long gone, replaced by disinterest.

I personally don't believe it is realistic believing we can be like Michael Douglas'es; having much younger women akin to Catherine Zeta Jones; accomplished, upscale, well to do, dynamic and sophisticated.

For those that seek a wife or gf I wish you the best of luck. If you make a date I hope she shows up on time if at all, or hopefully calls you to say she is late or not going.

[StreetCowboy]

I agree with the dude who says stay away from girls with tattoos.

The typical streotypical/bigoted/generalisation response I have come to expect on TV.

Per the tattoo shown...Mrs Soutpeel has one similar which was done after we were married, prior to meeting me, she had none, so where does that put your theroy now ??

Usually the farangs who shout the loudest about girls/tattoo's/Issan/Bargirls etc etc have the most to "hide" about their relationships.....

Let me say I know Thai uni grads (real not pseudo) with that style tattoo left shoulder. Religious in nature. I have yet to see it on ethnic Thai-Chinese girls.

Thai girls with multiple exposed tattoos tend to be service girls. Have known some artist types that have exposed tattoos, even from good families with money, though it is not common.

A service gal with multiple exposed tattoos told me she did many of them while drinking and also emulating white western guys with tattoos because the belief is white = high class.

In all honesty, if the huge sex industry did not exist there would not be nearly so many expats living here, or even interested in the country.

But now that everyone is here, we try to analyze and become the experts on women.

For me the great majority of women here are boring, regardless of social status, and I have experience with all stratum.

Even if you get a physically attractive female friend if she is not interesting, dynamic, have personality, etc etc, it gets dull. I guess the saving grace is when she is upscale and not in need of your/our money. That can be a better experience. Typically my local friends have studied abroad and have "outside the box" thinking and outside interests, hobbies, musical instruments, sports, etc.

In actuality the educational process creates a society of many robotic like people, shy, afraid to make a social mistake, in addition to the lack of cognitive abilities. A culture rife in corruption and cheating further damages society. Often these Thai friends also say they feel disillusioned and alienated if not fed up in their own country. Complain about erratic unreliable behavior, lack of punctuality, inappropriate affect, but attribute it to a sad truth, that is the reality of education and indoctrination.

Perhaps the fact that a multitude of educated Thai males have dreamed about getting a Japanese wife should tell us something.........

Many expats here are retired and for them all the entertainment venues sure may be much better than life in the suburbs of EC or USA. Actually I dont disagree with them. Seems there can be those who say walk through Siam Paragon and the likes thinking/ hoping/ praying the very nice upscale gals will come on to them as the entertainment venue ones do. I can see the dream and the frustration in their faces. Actually I may have had some of those very same emotions when first staying in the country. Those feelings are long gone, replaced by disinterest.

I personally don't believe it is realistic believing we can be like Michael Douglas'es; having much younger women akin to Catherine Zeta Jones; accomplished, upscale, well to do, dynamic and sophisticated.

For those that seek a wife or gf I wish you the best of luck. If you make a date I hope she shows up on time if at all, or hopefully calls you to say she is late or not going.

I remember now why I drink on my own.

SC

[IanForbes]

What the OP really seems to be asking is; why he can't find a normal relationship in Thailand. Well for one thing his concept of normal is not the same as then one held here. So what he is actually looking for is an unusual relationship in Thailand. He is looking for someone he can relate to, someone who will get him, and not keep doing things opposite to what makes sense to him.

The entire process here is warped by the difference in how westerners think, feel, decide, and act, compared to how Thais think, feel, decide, and act. And of course these things also vary person to person.

A major barrier to westerners finding simpatico relationships here is that in the west people meet others through interaction in their own social and work environments. This gives an opportunity to make reasonable judgments about what kind of person someone is before the potential relationship stress moves in and ups the ante. Westerners also share similar decision making abilities and most are are used to making independent choices.

In an east west situation this sort of thing just doesn't happen very often. In Thailand the westerner is always the outsider, the exotic, the atm, the sugar daddy, or some other possibly unfair stereotype. And even if your lady doesn't really see you that way herself and the two of you have developed some understanding; her friends will continually pour advice into her based on their own stereotypes and perception. This is the minefield, Thais and the advice of peers is major source of frustration to the westerner.

I won't pretend I fully understand this problem but what I have seen is Thais are very uncomfortable with saying I don't know. Because of this, discussions about life's little problems are usually driven by the first suggestion that comes up, no matter how ridiculous it may be. Apparently it is not proper to discard anyone's suggestion (among peers) so whatever advice comes up first is usually just supported and accepted as the best way to go. So instead of carefully thought out advice you get knee jerk reactions being accepted as wisdom so no one loses face. This problem is magnified when the person giving advice is a superior. A boss, a parent, an older sibling, or an official, has tremendous power over the decision making of individuals here. This leads to the situation where the advice or commands being given may not even logical, in fact they might even be contrary to what the individual believes, but will still be carried out without hesitation.

So if you want to have a relationship with a Thai, remember that you are entering into a complex situation and you have to leave a lot of room for misunderstanding. It is like dating someone with split personalities, you never know how any situation will be processed. If you have no patience, you should quit now.

Best post i have read on Thai Visa.

Agreed. Canuckamuck's post should be required reading for any male visiting Thailand.

I know this is an old thread dug up after a year's absence, but that is a jewel of information.

[David006]

"But, there are many similarities to North American women... or women in general. Yah gotta luv em.

..nice Ian..that saves a lot of writing...

a few hundred Farangs making judgement on a few thousand or million Thai ladies because somehow they feel they are being hard done by......then there are others like maybe you and me who know or have learned ( ongoing work in process)most of the risks and problems with women in general and accept them..'cos?? ...Well since there seems to be a tendency to quote lines from movies here I will do the same ..some old guy said to Robert Redford in the movie "Havana" something like..."women are everything all the rest is bullshit"...works for me..personally I love all Thai women because they are what they are...mostly beautiful with wonderful skin, funny, etc etc.....warts and all..!!

Maybe one should have had to have been married to a western woman once or twice to realise the "joy" of these Asian beauties...

Edited September 15, 2011 by David006

[David006]

What the OP really seems to be asking is; why he can't find a normal relationship in Thailand. Well for one thing his concept of normal is not the same as then one held here. So what he is actually looking for is an unusual relationship in Thailand. He is looking for someone he can relate to, someone who will get him, and not keep doing things opposite to what makes sense to him.

The entire process here is warped by the difference in how westerners think, feel, decide, and act, compared to how Thais think, feel, decide, and act. And of course these things also vary person to person.

A major barrier to westerners finding simpatico relationships here is that in the west people meet others through interaction in their own social and work environments. This gives an opportunity to make reasonable judgments about what kind of person someone is before the potential relationship stress moves in and ups the ante. Westerners also share similar decision making abilities and most are are used to making independent choices.

In an east west situation this sort of thing just doesn't happen very often. In Thailand the westerner is always the outsider, the exotic, the atm, the sugar daddy, or some other possibly unfair stereotype. And even if your lady doesn't really see you that way herself and the two of you have developed some understanding; her friends will continually pour advice into her based on their own stereotypes and perception. This is the minefield, Thais and the advice of peers is major source of frustration to the westerner.

I won't pretend I fully understand this problem but what I have seen is Thais are very uncomfortable with saying I don't know. Because of this, discussions about life's little problems are usually driven by the first suggestion that comes up, no matter how ridiculous it may be. Apparently it is not proper to discard anyone's suggestion (among peers) so whatever advice comes up first is usually just supported and accepted as the best way to go. So instead of carefully thought out advice you get knee jerk reactions being accepted as wisdom so no one loses face. This problem is magnified when the person giving advice is a superior. A boss, a parent, an older sibling, or an official, has tremendous power over the decision making of individuals here. This leads to the situation where the advice or commands being given may not even logical, in fact they might even be contrary to what the individual believes, but will still be carried out without hesitation.

So if you want to have a relationship with a Thai, remember that you are entering into a complex situation and you have to leave a lot of room for misunderstanding. It is like dating someone with split personalities, you never know how any situation will be processed. If you have no patience, you should quit now.

Best post i have read on Thai Visa.

Agreed. Canuckamuck's post should be required reading for any male visiting Thailand.

I know this is an old thread dug up after a year's absence, but that is a jewel of information.

yup spot on...key seems to be patience and a good dose of persistence...."changes in latitudes changes in attitudes"..it ain't always easy...but if you want something bad enough......

and of course quitting is always there for you...but knowing when to hold or fold is yet another challenge...

[kerryk]

I agree with the dude who says stay away from girls with tattoos.

The typical streotypical/bigoted/generalisation response I have come to expect on TV.

Per the tattoo shown...Mrs Soutpeel has one similar which was done after we were married, prior to meeting me, she had none, so where does that put your theroy now ??

Usually the farangs who shout the loudest about girls/tattoo's/Issan/Bargirls etc etc have the most to "hide" about their relationships.....

Let me say I know Thai uni grads (real not pseudo) with that style tattoo left shoulder. Religious in nature. I have yet to see it on ethnic Thai-Chinese girls.

Thai girls with multiple exposed tattoos tend to be service girls. Have known some artist types that have exposed tattoos, even from good families with money, though it is not common.

A service gal with multiple exposed tattoos told me she did many of them while drinking and also emulating white western guys with tattoos because the belief is white = high class.

In all honesty, if the huge sex industry did not exist there would not be nearly so many expats living here, or even interested in the country.

But now that everyone is here, we try to analyze and become the experts on women.

For me the great majority of women here are boring, regardless of social status, and I have experience with all stratum.

Even if you get a physically attractive female friend if she is not interesting, dynamic, have personality, etc etc, it gets dull. I guess the saving grace is when she is upscale and not in need of your/our money. That can be a better experience. Typically my local friends have studied abroad and have "outside the box" thinking and outside interests, hobbies, musical instruments, sports, etc.

In actuality the educational process creates a society of many robotic like people, shy, afraid to make a social mistake, in addition to the lack of cognitive abilities. A culture rife in corruption and cheating further damages society. Often these Thai friends also say they feel disillusioned and alienated if not fed up in their own country. Complain about erratic unreliable behavior, lack of punctuality, inappropriate affect, but attribute it to a sad truth, that is the reality of education and indoctrination.

Perhaps the fact that a multitude of educated Thai males have dreamed about getting a Japanese wife should tell us something.........

Many expats here are retired and for them all the entertainment venues sure may be much better than life in the suburbs of EC or USA. Actually I dont disagree with them. Seems there can be those who say walk through Siam Paragon and the likes thinking/ hoping/ praying the very nice upscale gals will come on to them as the entertainment venue ones do. I can see the dream and the frustration in their faces. Actually I may have had some of those very same emotions when first staying in the country. Those feelings are long gone, replaced by disinterest.

I personally don't believe it is realistic believing we can be like Michael Douglas'es; having much younger women akin to Catherine Zeta Jones; accomplished, upscale, well to do, dynamic and sophisticated.

For those that seek a wife or gf I wish you the best of luck. If you make a date I hope she shows up on time if at all, or hopefully calls you to say she is late or not going.

I remember now why I drink on my own.

SC

Half measures availed us nothing.

[atyclb]

I agree with the dude who says stay away from girls with tattoos.

The typical streotypical/bigoted/generalisation response I have come to expect on TV.

Per the tattoo shown...Mrs Soutpeel has one similar which was done after we were married, prior to meeting me, she had none, so where does that put your theroy now ??

Usually the farangs who shout the loudest about girls/tattoo's/Issan/Bargirls etc etc have the most to "hide" about their relationships.....

Let me say I know Thai uni grads (real not pseudo) with that style tattoo left shoulder. Religious in nature. I have yet to see it on ethnic Thai-Chinese girls.

Thai girls with multiple exposed tattoos tend to be service girls. Have known some artist types that have exposed tattoos, even from good families with money, though it is not common.

A service gal with multiple exposed tattoos told me she did many of them while drinking and also emulating white western guys with tattoos because the belief is white = high class.

In all honesty, if the huge sex industry did not exist there would not be nearly so many expats living here, or even interested in the country.

But now that everyone is here, we try to analyze and become the experts on women.

For me the great majority of women here are boring, regardless of social status, and I have experience with all stratum.

Even if you get a physically attractive female friend if she is not interesting, dynamic, have personality, etc etc, it gets dull. I guess the saving grace is when she is upscale and not in need of your/our money. That can be a better experience. Typically my local friends have studied abroad and have "outside the box" thinking and outside interests, hobbies, musical instruments, sports, etc.

In actuality the educational process creates a society of many robotic like people, shy, afraid to make a social mistake, in addition to the lack of cognitive abilities. A culture rife in corruption and cheating further damages society. Often these Thai friends also say they feel disillusioned and alienated if not fed up in their own country. Complain about erratic unreliable behavior, lack of punctuality, inappropriate affect, but attribute it to a sad truth, that is the reality of education and indoctrination.

Perhaps the fact that a multitude of educated Thai males have dreamed about getting a Japanese wife should tell us something.........

Many expats here are retired and for them all the entertainment venues sure may be much better than life in the suburbs of EC or USA. Actually I dont disagree with them. Seems there can be those who say walk through Siam Paragon and the likes thinking/ hoping/ praying the very nice upscale gals will come on to them as the entertainment venue ones do. I can see the dream and the frustration in their faces. Actually I may have had some of those very same emotions when first staying in the country. Those feelings are long gone, replaced by disinterest.

I personally don't believe it is realistic believing we can be like Michael Douglas'es; having much younger women akin to Catherine Zeta Jones; accomplished, upscale, well to do, dynamic and sophisticated.

For those that seek a wife or gf I wish you the best of luck. If you make a date I hope she shows up on time if at all, or hopefully calls you to say she is late or not going.

I remember now why I drink on my own.

SC

LOL

[atyclb]

One gal I know says "money is God". She is a bonafide uni grad speaking english very well and also seems resentful of hi-so people but expresses gratitude of being born with pale complexion, She's shopping for a husband but wants handsome, slim, high education, sophisticated, no tattoos, no drinking/smoking, and financially secure.

Money does seem to be over-emphasized in society here. I think it is related to their patronage system and perception of image over substance, apparent fading of Budhist teachings, and little to no penetration of philosophy from the likes of Ghandi, Mandela, MLK, or any one of a number of others. Also it seems the music that has high penetration is rap / hip hop as opposed to music with a moral/ social message.

A song called "I want to be a billionaire" is very popular.

[stardancer]

they learn alot of their behaviour and situational responses from brain dead soaps on t.v.

they can be changed, but it takes a lot of work, and the girl has to be worth the investment.

yes, you have to choose wisely and carefully, in my experience, i suggest starting with a girl

who doesnt smoke or drink or have tattoos, that will point you very far in the right direction.

absolutelytrue, a lot of 'family' time is spent with the family watching these moronic soap s on TV.........and thye think its real life...

I agree with the soaps, but I dont think smoking, drinking and tattoo's have any thing to do with it. My wife and one of our friends are from wealthy thai families and look down on those type of girls, there both snobs really, but after a full day of viewing those brain dead soap's and litsning to that crap thai music you can be 100% sure when you get home anything can happen. Its like if everything in our life is going along nicely, easy, enjoying family life, there not happy until they creat a soap type dramma. I thought it might have changed a year on from our son being bourne but I am told by the husbans of many thai/farang marrages it's not going to change......

[samran]

Ah, we are talking abut bar girls. There are available, non bar girls out there you know?

No, we are talking about hi-so Thai Chinese girls who were educated at boarding school in England and did their MBA's at Harvard or MIT.

That is the profile most TV posters hang out with.

[atyclb]

Ah, we are talking abut bar girls. There are available, non bar girls out there you know?

No, we are talking about hi-so Thai Chinese girls who were educated at boarding school in England and did their MBA's at Harvard or MIT.

That is the profile most TV posters hang out with.

Precisely

[Headgame]

Stay away from girls with tattoos - are you kidding? 2006 Survey Shows 24 Percent of Americans Ages 18-50 Are Tattooed - The Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology

I know I'm from California and have only lived in TH for a year but seriously some of the views on Thai women expressed on this forum are just plain weird.

Many of you just need to get out a little more.

OK, my Thai lady is 30 years younger than me (I'm 67), from Isaan, grade 8 education, dam_n good looking and I met her in a bar. To read the posts, I have committed all of the mistakes BUT I did so with my eyes wide open and with no illusions. My lady has had a life with many challenges that I have difficulty relating to but can empathize. She started working at age 13 in a factory in Bangkok and had many similar jobs until her marriage ended four years ago and she faced a number of decisions on how to support her children. I do not judge her decisions. She has taught herself to speak, write and read quite good English so we don't have many communication issues that we can't work through.

She and I have a great relationship but with no illusions. I'm a retired attorney but by no means well off - government pension (read divorced in CA at the depth of the recession). Even with so many differences my lady and I have lots in common. We both love movies, going to the cinema, music, current events, cooking, eating, and going out Saturday nights, hitting the clubs and having a good time. Occasionally she hits me up for a few thousand baht for the kids or this or that. I don't get all uptight that she's scamming me or after my money. Geez that's about $60 USD, really nothing to me and a lot to her. dam_n, I can buy her a dress and a pair of shoes for 4 or 500 baht and she thinks I'm the most wonderful man in the world - $15 USD.

Guys, you gotta stop being so paranoid about money and at least do the conversion. If you can't afford to treat your lady once in a while - stay single and get a cat.

My lady does display many of the somewhat baffling Thia female behavior but I guess since I'm older, seen it all, and from California, so I'm quite laid back and just wait for it to pass. I've now met many Thai people, mainly female, and have found them to be very good natured and for the most part just wanting to have a better life which of course means from a security or financial perspective. My western wife was no different in that respect except in what it actually took to make her happy and it was a lot more than a few thousand baht. My lady and I are making some progress on being able to talk about "feelings" but that's going to be a longer road. Do I understand how she thinks? Starting to, after a year and nothing overly different except this is Thailand not the USA, so I always have to try to understand the cultural issues that may be impacting her thought process.

I guess my point is - you can make many odd relationships work. Just my story and if it were to all end tomorrow, I started off with no illusions and all would be just fine. I'm still living in Thailand and love it.

Sorry if a little rambling and maybe off topic in parts.

[rubin]

i've noticed that Thais are generally thinking ''Thai way''.

[kerryk]

Stay away from girls with tattoos - are you kidding? 2006 Survey Shows 24 Percent of Americans Ages 18-50 Are Tattooed - The Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology

I know I'm from California and have only lived in TH for a year but seriously some of the views on Thai women expressed on this forum are just plain weird.

Many of you just need to get out a little more.

OK, my Thai lady is 30 years younger than me (I'm 67), from Isaan, grade 8 education, dam_n good looking and I met her in a bar. To read the posts, I have committed all of the mistakes BUT I did so with my eyes wide open and with no illusions. My lady has had a life with many challenges that I have difficulty relating to but can empathize. She started working at age 13 in a factory in Bangkok and had many similar jobs until her marriage ended four years ago and she faced a number of decisions on how to support her children. I do not judge her decisions. She has taught herself to speak, write and read quite good English so we don't have many communication issues that we can't work through.

She and I have a great relationship but with no illusions. I'm a retired attorney but by no means well off - government pension (read divorced in CA at the depth of the recession). Even with so many differences my lady and I have lots in common. We both love movies, going to the cinema, music, current events, cooking, eating, and going out Saturday nights, hitting the clubs and having a good time. Occasionally she hits me up for a few thousand baht for the kids or this or that. I don't get all uptight that she's scamming me or after my money. Geez that's about $60 USD, really nothing to me and a lot to her. dam_n, I can buy her a dress and a pair of shoes for 4 or 500 baht and she thinks I'm the most wonderful man in the world - $15 USD.

Guys, you gotta stop being so paranoid about money and at least do the conversion. If you can't afford to treat your lady once in a while - stay single and get a cat.

My lady does display many of the somewhat baffling Thia female behavior but I guess since I'm older, seen it all, and from California, so I'm quite laid back and just wait for it to pass. I've now met many Thai people, mainly female, and have found them to be very good natured and for the most part just wanting to have a better life which of course means from a security or financial perspective. My western wife was no different in that respect except in what it actually took to make her happy and it was a lot more than a few thousand baht. My lady and I are making some progress on being able to talk about "feelings" but that's going to be a longer road. Do I understand how she thinks? Starting to, after a year and nothing overly different except this is Thailand not the USA, so I always have to try to understand the cultural issues that may be impacting her thought process.

I guess my point is - you can make many odd relationships work. Just my story and if it were to all end tomorrow, I started off with no illusions and all would be just fine. I'm still living in Thailand and love it.

Sorry if a little rambling and maybe off topic in parts.

There are tattoos and there are tattoos. I think when evaluating a person from another culture it is wise to look at that cultures view of tattoos. There are stylish small tattoos, religious tattoos and bar girl tattoos. They are all different.

I think most Thai people would advise against a long term relationship with a woman who has worked as a prostitute. Not from a moral standpoint but from a practical standpoint. Same holds true in my opinion about a Thai woman who speaks and writes English and advertises her availability on line.

But I am not talking about individuals only odds.

You can bet the number 7 or bet the pass line. Up to you.

Speaking Thai and living and working in Thailand and finding a woman through family connections greatly increases your odds of a long relationship. If that is your goal.

I am not looking for a wife or a long term relationship so for me living with a well educated hi so, so called good girl was just a fact finding mission. I have lived with hookers and good girls; loved them all.

I have heard a lot of hard luck stories from good girls and I must admit there were times I wanted to say, “Why don't you go to work in a bar? You obviously like to **** and since you are doing me you must not be too particular.” I have seen ladies working in a bar at 60 still doing OK, not a big draw but they are making ends meet.

I hope your relationship works out. Good luck.

[welsh1]

Money money money it's all about money !!!!!! Will do anything for it!!!!

One gal I know says "money is God". She is a bonafide uni grad speaking english very well and also seems resentful of hi-so people but expresses gratitude of being born with pale complexion, She's shopping for a husband but wants handsome, slim, high education, sophisticated, no tattoos, no drinking/smoking, and financially secure.

Money does seem to be over-emphasized in society here. I think it is related to their patronage system and perception of image over substance, apparent fading of Budhist teachings, and little to no penetration of philosophy from the likes of Ghandi, Mandela, MLK, or any one of a number of others. Also it seems the music that has high penetration is rap / hip hop as opposed to music with a moral/ social message.

A song called "I want to be a billionaire" is very popular.

she might have a very long Waite tell her

[welsh1]

i've noticed that Thais are generally thinking ''Thai way''.

No shit Sherlock !!

[MrHammer]

This is my OPINION, so no need to get worked up if disagree, but sometimes I think Thai's never progress mentally from their teenage years.

Certainly a lot of the ones I have met act like teenagers ( me, me, me ) with no thought for the consequences of what they do. But then, for me that's part of the charm of Thai women.

I don`t know if you where referring to me but I am not saying you are wrong but do you have the same exposure to western girls as you do to Thai girls ? If you don't then how can you make the comparison ?

I've had more experience with young western women than thai girls and I honestly think that Thai women are much saner and emotionally healthy than your average western girl.

[JurgenG]

If you're are serious about your future in Thailand, make Thai friends.

The bests are those with double culture, either born or educated abroad. They understand both side and can really help you with the "translation".

A lot of frustration arise because of misunderstandings, on one side, the other or both.

[WebBangkok]

I know plenty of girls who plan for the future in my circle of friends, but they are also very successful too in there business. Also some who only think about this month, but they are generally poorer, perhaps thats why those girls are poorer.

[atyclb]

If you're are serious about your future in Thailand, make Thai friends.

The bests are those with double culture, either born or educated abroad. They understand both side and can really help you with the "translation".

A lot of frustration arise because of misunderstandings, on one side, the other or both.

This has been my experience also.

[atyclb]

Money money money it's all about money !!!!!! Will do anything for it!!!!

One gal I know says "money is God". She is a bonafide uni grad speaking english very well and also seems resentful of hi-so people but expresses gratitude of being born with pale complexion, She's shopping for a husband but wants handsome, slim, high education, sophisticated, no tattoos, no drinking/smoking, and financially secure.

Money does seem to be over-emphasized in society here. I think it is related to their patronage system and perception of image over substance, apparent fading of Budhist teachings, and little to no penetration of philosophy from the likes of Ghandi, Mandela, MLK, or any one of a number of others. Also it seems the music that has high penetration is rap / hip hop as opposed to music with a moral/ social message.

A song called "I want to be a billionaire" is very popular.

she might have a very long Waite tell her

LOL........ do they believe in re-incarnation or being re-born perhaps? She wasn't moved by learning how slim and handsome I was a few decades ago.....

[tink2mutt]

Stay away from girls with tattoos - are you kidding? 2006 Survey Shows 24 Percent of Americans Ages 18-50 Are Tattooed - The Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology

I know I'm from California and have only lived in TH for a year but seriously some of the views on Thai women expressed on this forum are just plain weird.

Many of you just need to get out a little more.

OK, my Thai lady is 30 years younger than me (I'm 67), from Isaan, grade 8 education, dam_n good looking and I met her in a bar. To read the posts, I have committed all of the mistakes BUT I did so with my eyes wide open and with no illusions. My lady has had a life with many challenges that I have difficulty relating to but can empathize. She started working at age 13 in a factory in Bangkok and had many similar jobs until her marriage ended four years ago and she faced a number of decisions on how to support her children. I do not judge her decisions. She has taught herself to speak, write and read quite good English so we don't have many communication issues that we can't work through.

She and I have a great relationship but with no illusions. I'm a retired attorney but by no means well off - government pension (read divorced in CA at the depth of the recession). Even with so many differences my lady and I have lots in common. We both love movies, going to the cinema, music, current events, cooking, eating, and going out Saturday nights, hitting the clubs and having a good time. Occasionally she hits me up for a few thousand baht for the kids or this or that. I don't get all uptight that she's scamming me or after my money. Geez that's about $60 USD, really nothing to me and a lot to her. dam_n, I can buy her a dress and a pair of shoes for 4 or 500 baht and she thinks I'm the most wonderful man in the world - $15 USD.

Guys, you gotta stop being so paranoid about money and at least do the conversion. If you can't afford to treat your lady once in a while - stay single and get a cat.

My lady does display many of the somewhat baffling Thia female behavior but I guess since I'm older, seen it all, and from California, so I'm quite laid back and just wait for it to pass. I've now met many Thai people, mainly female, and have found them to be very good natured and for the most part just wanting to have a better life which of course means from a security or financial perspective. My western wife was no different in that respect except in what it actually took to make her happy and it was a lot more than a few thousand baht. My lady and I are making some progress on being able to talk about "feelings" but that's going to be a longer road. Do I understand how she thinks? Starting to, after a year and nothing overly different except this is Thailand not the USA, so I always have to try to understand the cultural issues that may be impacting her thought process.

I guess my point is - you can make many odd relationships work. Just my story and if it were to all end tomorrow, I started off with no illusions and all would be just fine. I'm still living in Thailand and love it.

Sorry if a little rambling and maybe off topic in parts.

Great post Headgame - very honest, relevant to the OP and informative for other people reading this very entertaining thread.

IMHO it's all about give and take. Both parties have a give a lot and take less than they give - in any culture.

And as other posters have said - patience - and loads of it.

You still can't beat a Thai wife/GF no matter what the challenges!!

[soomak]

Ah, we are talking abut bar girls. There are available, non bar girls out there you know?

Agree... Maybe what people have mistakenly assume is that Bargirls represent all Thai women. First of all there are about 30 million women in Thailand and during your visit the few women in a certain trade have molded your mind. People are so different they can not be put in one bag. You can find any type of woman you want in Thailand. They do not all sit and work in bars, so if you want something different you must go out and be adventurous. Broaden the mind Skywalker.

Belive it or not some Thai women are Doctors, Teachers, Nurses, Technicians, Librarians, merchants, farmers, cooks, house keepers, and waitresses ( bargirls ) etc etc.

Maybe another topic but I have never had a Lady Taxi driver in Thailand?

Yes, there are such women, but VERY FEW are interested in a relationship with a foreigner. Particularly if they are young & cute, a rare situation.

That is not completely accurate,

out of the eight Thai woman I've met so far for romantic purposes, there was 1 accountant, 1 bank branch manager, and 1 teacher, so I guess educated Thai woman are interested in foreigners.

[Pedzie]

This is my OPINION, so no need to get worked up if disagree, but sometimes I think Thai's never progress mentally from their teenage years.

Certainly a lot of the ones I have met act like teenagers ( me, me, me ) with no thought for the consequences of what they do. But then, for me that's part of the charm of Thai women.

I don`t know if you where referring to me but I am not saying you are wrong but do you have the same exposure to western girls as you do to Thai girls ? If you don't then how can you make the comparison ?

I've had more experience with young western women than thai girls and I honestly think that Thai women are much saner and emotionally healthy than your average western girl.

I would agree 100% with that

[philliphn]

I have read many interesting and insightful thoughts in this thread.

I would like to add a few thoughts of my own.

When one speaks of cultures or groups of people. Of course one has to speak to a certain extent in generalizations. With the understanding that there are variances between people within any culture, or group. The interactions that make up Human cultural development are complex. Speaking about generalizations in itself does not make the generalization invalid. If it did we could not have the scientific study of Sociology. How else could one study groups of people. I say this as a person with a Masters in Sociology. Groups of people do have similarities in their perceptions, thought processes, and the resulting conclusions, that they from their cultural perspectives reach.

Understanding cannot come without having an open mind. We cannot, if we only view things from our own ethnocentric perception, reach much of an understanding of people of different cultures than our own.

To some of us the differences that form cultural variations. Are the things that make things more interesting. To others these are the things from which nightmares, and frustrations are formed.

As a wise man has previously said. It is often better to rent then to buy!

Edited September 19, 2011 by philliphn

[Kilgore Trout]

But for the most part, it just seems like Thai girls would rather just be alone, poor and single, rather than change, do what is normally expected in a relationship

I see your point, its like when the workers at a store would rather ignore me or snicker at me when I'm trying to buy a 20-30k item, including stores run by their owners, rather than pretend like they are interested in me and acting like someone who appreciates a customer buying something.

[StreetCowboy]

...

You still can't beat a Thai wife/GF no matter what the challenges!!

There's not many among us aspire to be wife beaters, I'm sure.

SC

[Jebhead]

Has that girl in the bottom picture got a tache?

FYI you could take dog turd down walking st and it would look better than most the girls there so i would not flatter yourself too much.

JH

Are you including the ladies who work in the bars or just the ones who sleep in the street?

The ones in the bars too, of course there are a few diamonds in the rough but not many!

It's all relative tho, if you're an old man of course they will look pretty but majority of them are damaged goods.....

JH

[a99az]

Think?

[kerryk]

Has that girl in the bottom picture got a tache?

FYI you could take dog turd down walking st and it would look better than most the girls there so i would not flatter yourself too much.

JH

Are you including the ladies who work in the bars or just the ones who sleep in the street?

The ones in the bars too, of course there are a few diamonds in the rough but not many!

It's all relative tho, if you're an old man of course they will look pretty but majority of them are damaged goods.....

JH

Can you tell if they are damaged just by looking?

I didn't know that about the old guys. You mean an ugly 18 year old gets better looking as a guy ages? I kind of think if you put an ugly 18 year old naked go go dancer next to a good looking go go dancer I could tell the difference but maybe I am wrong.