How To Tell My Wife She Is Too Fat?

[IMA_FARANG]

Some things you might try:

1. If you have room in your house, get an stationary exercise bike. Set it up and use it yourself. Tell her you think you're getting a little heavy and its good exercise for you. She might get the hint.

2. Seriously overweight people don't go to gyms and aerobic classes for a reason. It's because they KNOW they look fat, and no matter how the instructors try to hide it, the fat person knows (at least in their perception) he/she is regarded as a fat/lazy/stupid/ignorant slob by the thin people at the gym. I know whereof I speak, I've been there. The fact that your wife is "joking" about her weight, shows she is in denial mode. It's better to laugh at yourself, than to have another person laugh at you. So you start her exercising at home with you, away from judgemental eyes.

3. She had 3 children, gained weight each time, but then lost it through exercise. Question: Why not now? I'll be blunt, she was interested enough then to take the effort to lose weight for you. Why isn't she interested now? Think about it.

( hint: you're not sexually interested anymore in her because of her weight, you say? Well maybe she knows that, she's scared

that even if she does lose weight you won't love her anymore. So let her know you still do care for her. It's not a one-way street you know.)

Marriage isn't easy is it.

[bangkoklight]

Sod all of this. Get a new wife. Jeez! You support her (probably), and then she gets fat on you. People are fat because input is greater than output - simple.

[Johnniey]

Sod all of this. Get a new wife. Jeez! You support her (probably), and then she gets fat on you. People are fat because input is greater than output - simple.

That seems like a 'fattist' thing to say - I doubt it's that simple.

She's my wife - we support each other. Financially I support the family now because we decided that she stop working

until the youngest is in Prathom School. She has a good career with potential to earn more than I.

It's a very delicate issue - thanks for all the 'food for thought'

We have a strong relationship and I'll love her until the day she dies. It's just that I want an attractive wife and a good sex life. I've never cheated on her since we've been married but have to admit the urges of getting a 'sexy massage' have been strong recently. Maybe because I want to 'show her'.

I must be crap at maths or can't read in between the lines, in the opening post you said your wife was 35, and "yes she is older"...Quoted below..

She is older than she was 13 years ago not older than me.

[sbk]

Yup. Aging happens, funny that isn't it?

Anyway, since you love your wife and you have a strong relationship it can't hurt to suggest she see a doctor and make sure there isn't some underlying health issue causing the weight gain.

[BasementCat]

I absolutely agree with sbk and others concerning possible underlying health issues. Could be a hormone imbalance thing, if so then workouts will not help at all. Blood test and visit to a doctor is what the lady needs.

[MB1]

Sod all of this. Get a new wife. Jeez! You support her (probably), and then she gets fat on you. People are fat because input is greater than output - simple.

That seems like a 'fattist' thing to say - I doubt it's that simple.

She's my wife - we support each other. Financially I support the family now because we decided that she stop working

until the youngest is in Prathom School. She has a good career with potential to earn more than I.

It's a very delicate issue - thanks for all the 'food for thought'

We have a strong relationship and I'll love her until the day she dies. It's just that I want an attractive wife and a good sex life. I've never cheated on her since we've been married but have to admit the urges of getting a 'sexy massage' have been strong recently. Maybe because I want to 'show her'.

I must be crap at maths or can't read in between the lines, in the opening post you said your wife was 35, and "yes she is older"...Quoted below..

She is older than she was 13 years ago not older than me.

Got ya johnnie, I'm up to speed now, I must have been having a blonde moment, ahh go on then it was a grey one.

Try and resist the urge to cheat, IMO it won't make the situation any better, it might just make it worse, I've had urges to cheat on TG and it's tempting at times with all that's on offer and ready available, but then I think why spoil a good relationship for the sake of a sha*.

Good luck.

[kenallday]

The best way to talk to your loved one about such an issue is to be considerate and direct, tell her you love her and then say something like you are a big fat slob and you need to lose 50kg or your out you porker. please ensure there are no sharp things nearby when you gently give her the good news

[gotlost]

Tell here to lose the weight OR lose you.

[OOB]

The best way to talk to your loved one about such an issue is to be considerate and direct, tell her you love her and then say something like you are a big fat slob and you need to lose 50kg or your out you porker.

Well that's certainly direct...I'm less sure about the considerate though!

Did make me cry with laughter!

[Thongkorn]

Sorry she just needs an extra arse hole.

[Lumumba]

Take her to JASPAL clothing store and get every good dress on the racks and shove her into the changing room and wait at the door to show you how each one looks on her. Bring a cam too.

My ex gf got married and had 2 kids and doubled her weight. That was a close call.

Fat girls are moody and over sensitive, who needs that.

[StreetCowboy]

Sorry she just needs an extra arse hole.

Maybe you'd be kind enough to stand in, though bigamy is still an offence here.

It seems this thread has one too many...

I think her husband is trying to be considerate and thoughtful, and I don't think your comment was particularly constructive.

For the OP

I suppose you can't tell your wife she is too fat; all you can do is let her know you love her, and let her find out for herself.

SC

[boynamedsue]

Sorry she just needs an extra arse hole.

For the OP

I suppose you can't tell your wife she is too fat; all you can do is let her know you love her, and let her find out for herself.

SC

the thing is he doesnt love her anymore because shes fat

[StreetCowboy]

8>< SNIP - NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

For the OP

I suppose you can't tell your wife she is too fat; all you can do is let her know you love her, and let her find out for herself.

SC

the thing is he doesnt love her anymore because shes fat

Tough. He doesn't have an option, she's his wife. If he can't love her, he'll just need to pretend. And if he can't do that, then he'll have to stand by her anyway. And if he can't do that, she's better off without him, becuase one arsehol_e's enough for anyone. At least he's lucky that he can hope she'll lose the weight again.

SC

[Johnniey]

Sorry she just needs an extra arse hole.

For the OP

I suppose you can't tell your wife she is too fat; all you can do is let her know you love her, and let her find out for herself.

SC

the thing is he doesnt love her anymore because shes fat

Love is nothing to do with physical appearance. I do love her and will until the days she dies as I said before. I don't find her attractive and I feel embarrassed walking around with a fat, which in my opinion is ugly, wife.

I had a long talk about it and the food. I said that I wanted her to see someone from Overeaters Annonymous. I tried to explain that her that I think she's eating due to underlying causes(which a doctor could find), maybe the same way some people use drugs or alcohol. She didn't take this at all well so I'll let it rest for a while and buy an exercise bike. On reflection, I probably shouldn't have said this

[andD]

a chang fridge magnet?

[StreetCowboy]

8>< SNIP - NESTED QUOPTES DELETED ><8

Love is nothing to do with physical appearance. I do love her and will until the days she dies as I said before. I don't find her attractive and I feel embarrassed walking around with a fat, which in my opinion is ugly, wife.

I had a long talk about it and the food. I said that I wanted her to see someone from Overeaters Annonymous. I tried to explain that her that I think she's eating due to underlying causes(which a doctor could find), maybe the same way some people use drugs or alcohol. She didn't take this at all well so I'll let it rest for a while and buy an exercise bike. On reflection, I probably shouldn't have said this

Maybe you cold think of it as practice for many years in the future, when she's old? Nobody notices fat, or old, or ugly, wives, so there's no need to be embaressed. Obviously, you'd be as well not to flaunt her, and parade her like a trophy wife, but that maybe wasn't your style anyway.

I suppose at least after posting on this thread, you can cheer yourself up with the knowledge that at least you're not an ignorant, inconsiderate thoughtless &lt;deleted&gt; like most of us.

I think she still looks nice, anyway,particularly when she's laughing,

(just a guess...)

SC

[missTHAI]

look at the bright side fella. chances are she will be faithful. not many guys lust after a 5 ft. over 200 lbs. thai girl.

ps he is like the rest of us &lt;deleted&gt;. he does call her fat, and ugly wife

Edited April 25, 2010 by missTHAI

[StreetCowboy]

look at the bright side fella. chances are she will be faithful. not many guys lust after a 5 ft. over 200 lbs. thai girl.

ps he is like the rest of us &lt;deleted&gt;. he does call her fat, and ugly wife

If I felt like a &lt;deleted&gt; every time I called someone fat, or ugly, I'd stop talking to myself.

There's nothing wrong with being observant.

SC

[Sheryl]

There is so much wrong with the responses this post has generated that it hardly seems worth a response.

But here goes:

1. At 100 kg, you do not need to "tell" her she is fat. She knows that.

2. She should indeed get a physical check-up which includes a thyroid panel to rule out physiological cause.

3. Assuming she checks out OK then she is compulsively eating to relieve stress/depression. Simple lack of exercise doesn't get a woman to 100 kg. She either has a metabolic problem or is compulsively overeating. People eat to relieve stress, sadness, depression anxiety etc despite the fact that it makes them fat for the same reason people smoke despite the fact that it can kill them: because it gives immediate relief.

Above all, people instinctively overeat when they feel unloved.

The worst thing you can possibly do is to increase her unhappiness by complaining about her appearance, pressuring her to lose weight or otherwise making her feel unloved. All of these will just make her eat more.

It would be useful to try to get a handle on how she is feeling, though. She may be having adjustment difficulties. She may be lonely. Etc. Have a heart to heart, not about her weight but about her and how she's feeling. And what you might be able to do to help with that.

If she is depressed, should consult a doctor for possible medication as well as see a therapist.

[Johnniey]

look at the bright side fella. chances are she will be faithful. not many guys lust after a 5 ft. over 200 lbs. thai girl.

ps he is like the rest of us &lt;deleted&gt;. he does call her fat, and ugly wife

She's 170cm which is pretty tall actually.

Sheryl - great advice - thanks for the reply.

[Thongkorn]

Sorry she just needs an extra arse hole.

Sorry I apologise, about my remark, I was just trying to be Humerouse, beauty is in the eye of the holder. Inside is sometimes better than the outside. Unfortunately you have to look at the outside.

[Patsycat]

Jeez, some of the male answers are horrible. And I suppose they are all the same Adonis shapes they were when they were young. And they haven't had three kids either.

Good luck to you and your wife.

[SoiGirlHunter]

When i got my first mia noi the first comment from the wife was "wow she is so lek (skinny)" and went on a diet/excercize craze

and shrunk right down to mia noi's size in about a month.

I love this country!

[MrWiggle]

Buy her a pair of red skin tight pants and ask her if she thinks her arse looks big in these...

[sbk]

Trolls one and all patsy. Sad but true. They really need to get a life

[Johnniey]

I had a long heart -to-heart with my wife last night and she told me that after our last child, she started taking some slimming medicine. She said that as she stopped taking it now there is a yo-yo effect. Also with our last child she hasn't been able to get to aerobics and other activities with friends.

I told her I was worried and wanted to see a doctor. She was happy to see that I cared but said to wait and that it might be a good idea for her to join me in the gym when the kids go back to school in a week or two. Bingo! If there is no weight loss then she'll go and see a doctor.

The weird thing about this talk was that I told her never to take slimming medicine again and I'd love her whatever shape she was - I actually meant it!

[Boo]

good for you johnniey, it reinforced the proof that you have a strong relationship & her admittance to the problem & the slimming medicines shows her willingness to make soem changes. I hope it all works out for you both.

[StreetCowboy]

I had a long heart -to-heart with my wife last night and she told me that after our last child, she started taking some slimming medicine. She said that as she stopped taking it now there is a yo-yo effect. Also with our last child she hasn't been able to get to aerobics and other activities with friends.

I told her I was worried and wanted to see a doctor. She was happy to see that I cared but said to wait and that it might be a good idea for her to join me in the gym when the kids go back to school in a week or two. Bingo! If there is no weight loss then she'll go and see a doctor.

The weird thing about this talk was that I told her never to take slimming medicine again and I'd love her whatever shape she was - I actually meant it!

Well done, and apologies for (not really on behalf of, but I'm sorry for) all the eejits.

SC

[FarAwayBen]

I just consulted my wife on this matter and she said "tell him take her go Slim Up Center. Slim Up Center number one for make you skinning. All super star go Slim Up Center."

I believe the place is in Bangkok. What it involves, we can only guess.

here's the spot: http://www.bangkokresidents.com/lifecenter.html

the TV told her it only takes a few days so I'm guessing surgery and/or vacuum

Edited April 26, 2010 by FarAwayBen