Girl Girl Relationships On The Increase...?

[jasonr3255]

Been coming to LOS for 6 yrs and cant help noticing how many young Thai girls seem to be hooking up with "tom boy" style girls.

Now some people are bound to shoot me down for this but I am confused how it seems to be confined to young upper educated bangkoknians and not your average issan lady from the village holding hands with her lover. Now where I come from in the "UK" the good old fashioned lesbian was always you're lower class heavily tatooed beer swelling dyke living on the estate who would never shy to give her geezer bird a good old kiss in public. I might add, you never see the upper class in the UK displaying their affection for their female lovers the same way. Yet in Thailand it's the polar opposite, you only see the upper class showing this off..!

Can someone please shed some light...?

[Soutpeel]

Well...this post is going to last a long while...LOL

[kkkq]

ive seeen many avg looking thai girl with what appears to be a tom boy girl(no boobs to speak of, so hard to tell if boy or girl).

ive never seen an upper class thai babe with her female lover in public!

[IanForbes]

Although I haven't noticed it, it wouldn't surprise me considering the options for the young women.

[somtampet]

There are 2 bars in Pattaya catering for the tomboy types.

Must say,i havent seen an upperclass lesbian in an estate bar lol

[thaibeachlovers]

And where, prey, do you see all this "action"? The only Hiso ladies I've seen around would be unichix at MBK. I wouldn't know where else to see Hiso girls.

[GarryP]

You learn something everyday. I had never heard of "geezer bird" before today. How appropriate.

I have not seen it so much in the hi-so or low-so as the mid-so community.

[CarlBkk]

It's on the increase on all social levels here. I'd go far as to say that if there was a lesbian survey, Thailand would come very near the top in the world. Over the last 6 years I've seen a noticeable increase, maybe because it's more culturally acceptable...maybe because of the higher ratio of females to males in this country...maybe because of sensitive broken hearts or maybe it's a craze. I'd go more with the latter. Lesbian relationships here differ from in the West: here there is a "dee" (the more feminine one, indistinguishable from a straight girl) with a "tom", who is often indistinguishable from a young boy. Many "dek neaw" uni students have this relationship as well as higher social classes. Some look like divorced or jilted women who've "turned". However, I don't know of many hi-so family names who are toms and dees, but there are definitely some.

The "tom" will be very protective of their partner and often treat them as an older guy might treat their young gf...with gifts and jealousy and treats and cheating. They are openly more affectionate (and sometimes crude). A whole lot of complicated love triangles, cheating and pain exists in these relationships from what I've seen.

The proportion of Thai girls who have had a lesbian experience in early Uni or late school days is surprisingly high....this may me from being subject to an unwanted crush to a full-blown dorm affair, and some become "dees" as a result until they mature.

[JimmyTheMook]

There are 2 bars in Pattaya catering for the tomboy types.

Must say,i havent seen an upperclass lesbian in an estate bar lol

Location of said bars ?

[jasonr3255]

It's on the increase on all social levels here. I'd go far as to say that if there was a lesbian survey, Thailand would come very near the top in the world. Over the last 6 years I've seen a noticeable increase, maybe because it's more culturally acceptable...maybe because of the higher ratio of females to males in this country...maybe because of sensitive broken hearts or maybe it's a craze. I'd go more with the latter. Lesbian relationships here differ from in the West: here there is a "dee" (the more feminine one, indistinguishable from a straight girl) with a "tom", who is often indistinguishable from a young boy. Many "dek neaw" uni students have this relationship as well as higher social classes. Some look like divorced or jilted women who've "turned". However, I don't know of many hi-so family names who are toms and dees, but there are definitely some.

The "tom" will be very protective of their partner and often treat them as an older guy might treat their young gf...with gifts and jealousy and treats and cheating. They are openly more affectionate (and sometimes crude). A whole lot of complicated love triangles, cheating and pain exists in these relationships from what I've seen.

The proportion of Thai girls who have had a lesbian experience in early Uni or late school days is surprisingly high....this may me from being subject to an unwanted crush to a full-blown dorm affair, and some become "dees" as a result until they mature.

Thanks for the reply, it is an interesting subject mind..!

[kevkev1888]

Can someone please shed some light...?

Yes your observations and conclusions, both in Thailand and the UK are just plain WRONG!

[DP25]

I'm not sure how you know these people you see are "upper class"

[jasonr3255]

I'm not sure how you know these people you see are "upper class"

The clothes they wear is a good indication they are above the poverty line, and in Thailand that is upper class. As I reiterate in my earlier statement you do not see two young female lovers clearly showing affection for each other who are from the north east catch my drift... general rule of thumb if it walks like a duck.........

[DP25]

Ahh, I see. You're one of those farang who think anyone that isn't tattoo covered bar girl dressed for work is upper class

[jasonr3255]

Ahh, I see. You're one of those farang who think anyone that isn't tattoo covered bar girl dressed for work is upper class

My wife is a tatoo'ed bar girl are you saying that she isn't upper class now...?

[givenall]

I have few friends that are with Tomboys and all tell me they will go and marry a guy if they find a nice man to take care of them. To me they are really not Lesbian, only surviving in this world. Is like having a partner to have a better life. They can’t trust most of Thai guys, but they can trust gals. Although they may have a misperceptions about a Tomboy (others girl in general) they are good and bad ones too. I conclusion whatever takes to have a better life

[somtampet]

You shouldn't be looking at young underaged girls anyway.

I find it highly offensive how foreigners look and think about thai girls.

<deleted> are you talking about.

You dont have to be on a thai forum do you,but where is osmebody talking about underage age girls for farangs,this post is about lesbians <deleted>

[somtampet]

There are 2 bars in Pattaya catering for the tomboy types.

Must say,i havent seen an upperclass lesbian in an estate bar lol

Location of said bars ?

WHY,do you fancy a night out there lol

[IanForbes]

You shouldn't be looking at young underaged girls anyway.

I find it highly offensive how foreigners look and think about thai girls.

Who said anything about looking at underaged girls? I don't think everyone except paedophiles look at underage girls in a sexual manner, and that is a LONG way off this topic.

However, many people (including women themselves) ofter refer to young women as "girls". I've heard many western women over the age of 40 say to each other... "Come on girls, lets take a swim (or whatever else is on their mind)"

[centrico]

I am given to understand that some of these Lesbians are in these relationships because they no longer trust men. Men who dumped them and the kids to run off with a new woman. Appears they still want love and affection and sex too but feel happier with another woman. One female I know would be happy to have another relationship with a man and she hopes to do so in the future when she finds a reliable one. Meantime she has a girlfriend. Could be there are others in the same boat.

Most restaurants and bars have female couples. It is obvious they are in a relationship together but I have never seen them flaunt it in public or that they are so called Hi-So as the OP suggests.

Besides. What is wrong with girl on girl relationships? The OP scared he is going to lose out on a bit??

[johnh101]

I am sure there are far more "Toms" around from say 10 or 15 years ago, but at the smae time I am convinced that the number of LadyBoys has also gone up massively.

Do you reckon this is just due to changing attitudes or is it something in the Singha ?

[Birdman]

Looks like the op made his research based on 2 or 3 window shoppings through Paragon while enjoying a sandwich.

[davethailand]

I can see what the op is getting at as I have also noticed this but I wouldn't always link it to the upper class or teenagers.

Here in Pattaya its growing also and I have to be honest when I say that I find it a bit weird.

Edited April 22, 2010 by davethailand

[Boo]

post deleted as thai toms have nothing to do with western women. find a new record, yours seems to be broken & has become boring.

[Boo]

went to a concert last night in a thai pub up here in the sticks. No hi so people really, some country middle class but no one driving a beemer or anything. It was me, hubby, his best friend & wife plus about 300 other thai people. Around 10% were "tom" even the bar manager was a tom.

I remarked to hubby that there seems to be a lot of lesbians these days, he said, no not really, just they are able to show it now.

[somtampet]

Everywhere you look there are toms,katoys and gay thai guys,even up country.Someone suggested it was the water,contaminated with the female pill.

Edited April 22, 2010 by somtampet

[bkkjames]

Let's face it. Normal Thai girls have two choices.

1) Hope that some male will fly her away to a life of no work, shopping and no cooking and cleaning

2) Be the object of desire of a short-haired overweight butch of a thing that buys her new phones 2x a month

Conclusions:

1) While she doesn't really fancy the finger licking good type, with a new phone she can make sure she tells everyone about it, over and over and over again.

2) While na-lak when in hi-school, the 30 yr old local male with his bossy demeanor and his daddy's money is not the kind of thing to fill sleepless nights filled with hopes of married laziness and poofy hair.

Sign me up.

[IMA_FARANG]

You're making assumptions based on your western Farang cultural stereotypes. It has never been unusual for Thai girls to have close female friends. To assume they do it because it is a sexual thing is wrong. I'm not deneying there is some of that in Thailand, but I remember seeing teen-aged girls in Bangkok holding hands in 1977....and that was long before any "increse" or "trend" you think you noticed.

Frankly it has nothing to do with any sexual thing. It is simply that now, especially among teenage girls, it is more acceptable to hold hands or touch when in public. They are just friends, there isn't anything sexual implied in it, and frankly if you knew any of these girls and could talk to them they would just laugh at you for your assumptions.

There was a time in Thailand, and not that long ago when any woman wearing shotrs or even pants wold have been regarded with suspicion. Obviously she must be "easy" or "loose" for wearing other than a dress outside her house. At least that was the assumption then. Of course, it wasn't true. Even 40 years ago no "good" Thai woman wore pants...and especially not shorts...outside of the house. Just go to any of the shopping malls in Bangkok now, and see how that has changed.

What you're seeing now is just that holding hands, and touching is more acceptable now in public. Thai females, and especially teenagers, have always had close friends...and for two girls to do a "sleepover" to sit up all night and gossip about boys and giggle has always been part of Thai culture. Perhaps the increasing prosperity, and the rise of a middle class with the money to do such things,has made it more common...but it has nothing to do with any change in sexual roles. It is just that the teenagers have more time and money to spend on their friends now.

My Thai G/F is 60 years old now. Her sister is 1 year younger. They grew up in a Thai farm family, not wealthy. They slept together on a mat on the floor with a couple of blankets for warmth until they were well past their teens. It was just what was done, there were no beds for them, and they had to sleep together...because that is all there was.

Now teenagers in Bangkok, and elsewhere with a bit of money, can have their own room. So they bring their friends over to stay with them....they sit up all night and talk about the teenage things they have in common. When they are both tired, they sleep in the same bed. Don't confuse it with anything sexual. It isn't.

My G/F's grand daughter is just turning 13. I'm starting to see her and her friends...talking and giggling about their "secrets". t's part of being a teenager.

[Boo]

I think you will find for a lot of older women from poorer economic situations that sharing a bed with a sister for female relative was quite normal in their childhood. In UK right after WWII when my mum was born she & her older sister & same age cousin shared a double bed (my nan & her sister married twin brothers & everyone shared a big house where all the girls or boys of each of parentage shared rooms/beds, they were stupid poor too, add in a joint eventual offspring of 17 kids & you can imagine the hardship) & as they recount it only got to sleep 2 in a bed when the older sister married then both girls got married within a few weeks of each other too & never knew what it was to sleep alone. And teenage girls the world over hold hands, giggle & have sleepovers. This isn't a thai-centric thing.

[manjara]

In Thailand my daughters never sleep alone and when we go back to Europe and they can have their own bed, they complain about 'mai mi puan' and end up sleeping together anyway.

As far as lesbians (and katoeys and gays) go, I think that it has become more acceptable now (much more so than in the west) and therefore more people choose it. Look at ancient Greece, where homosexuality was the norm (though probably a lot of them were bisexual).

I haven't seen any demographic trend in this, it seems to affect all classes, but as someone mentioned before, the lesbian girls (as opposed to the 'geezer birds') do seem to switch between female and male partners.