English As She Is Spoke

[PETERTHEEATER]

There is a website www.engrish.com that specialises in Japanese products bearing English language text made hilarious through spelling and grammar mistakes.

I while away the time in markets whilst my (Thai) wife is shopping looking for similar examples. There are many; one in front of me now is a familiar site on supermarket and DIY shelves:

‘To be fix the woollen glue on your love things – bubble pack – 12 pieces’

Not genital adornments or a condom substitute but protective pads for furniture legs.

Two years ago, upcountry, I saw on a female’s Tee shirt ‘Hibernian Supporters Club – Glasgow’

On a sports bag – ‘Scud diving’ (coincided with the Gulf War)

What English language translations have you seen that make you laugh?

[gburns57au]

There is a website www.engrish.com that specialises in Japanese products bearing English language text made hilarious through spelling and grammar mistakes.

I while away the time in markets whilst my (Thai) wife is shopping looking for similar examples. There are many; one in front of me now is a familiar site on supermarket and DIY shelves:

‘To be fix the woollen glue on your love things – bubble pack – 12 pieces’

Not genital adornments or a condom substitute but protective pads for furniture legs.

Two years ago, upcountry, I saw on a female’s Tee shirt ‘Hibernian Supporters Club – Glasgow’

On a sports bag – ‘Scud diving’ (coincided with the Gulf War)

What English language translations have you seen that make you laugh?

Hotel in Pattaya......"No Gambling......ALL OWED".......

[tuky]

Some safety signs I came across in Korea

[PETERTHEEATER]

I would have a stricture if that lot fell on me! (Who's been at the Adobe Photoshop with the head transfers then?)

In my early working days in The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia I saw a new model black Cadillac bearing an arabic/English registration plate which read 'King Doom of Saudi Arabia'

[PETERTHEEATER]

Just remembered the instruction booklet for a Japanese kerosine room heater which inculded the warning:

'In case of earthquake remain tranquil'

[tuky]

I liked this one so much I bought the company

[mnoorsapl]

ELECTRIC SHICK?

[lampard10]

I liked this one so much I bought the company 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh....razor sharp wit there Leith

[IMA_FARANG]

There is a website www.engrish.com that specialises in Japanese products bearing English language text made hilarious through spelling and grammar mistakes.

I while away the time in markets whilst my (Thai) wife is shopping looking for similar examples. There are many; one in front of me now is a familiar site on supermarket and DIY shelves:

‘To be fix the woollen glue on your love things – bubble pack – 12 pieces’

Not genital adornments or a condom substitute but protective pads for furniture legs.

Two years ago, upcountry, I saw on a female’s Tee shirt ‘Hibernian Supporters Club – Glasgow’

On a sports bag – ‘Scud diving’ (coincided with the Gulf War)

What English language translations have you seen that make you laugh?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A classic one from China;

Seems a Chinese company that used the sign of a Golden Rooster made a drink that was intended for women to help them feel better during their monthly downs.

The translation from Chinese to English was:

Every woman wants a Golden Cock.

[Crossy]

Not really foreign-glish but amusing anyway:-

When working in Hong Kong's new airport most mornings we followed a ratty old Toyota Hiace bearing the inscription on the side 'Wah Kit Engineering'.

I always wondered if they had any tools other than a hammer.

For the slow ones "Whack it Engineering" OK????

[johnh101]

In Dubai there is a lebanese bakery called "Chuckpuke"

[the scouser]

From the Taipan hotel (BKK) welcome pack:-

"If you want babysister please contact reception."

Scouse.

[Insight]

The one that gets me a bit is the popular Bangkok motor company:

KIA Motors

(Killed In Action!)

/edit - Just checked - it's not just Bangkok, it's worldwide (never heard of them before here though). Still, daft choice for a name...?

[meadish_sweetball]

This wont be as funny for you Anglos, but when I found KUK drinking water on Koh Phangan I couldn't stop laughing.

Swedish 'kuk' meaning 'cock' in English.

Another one that had me sniggering the first time I saw them was the huge TOA signs ('toa' is short for toalett - toilet in Swedish...).

"Do not play the firework inside hotel." is also pretty good.

"You will be serviced in the standard manner." a sticker in some Songthaews in Chiang Mai, leaves room for your imagination.

In terms of interesting dishes on the menu, I have also seen 'Nazi Goreng', 'Flesh Juice' (Japan) and 'Fried crap' (Thailand).

[chuchok]

There is quite an upmarket resturant on the Auckland water front called cin cin on quay.

[Artisi]

An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He

had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a

hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did

excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning, whichever one

used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next

morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the

cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached

her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you

or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like shit."