Fawlty Towers

[kayo]

From IMDB Database

Memorable Quotes from

"Fawlty Towers" (1975)

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Basil Fawlty: Is something wrong?

German Guest: Will you please stop talking about the war?

Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.

German Guest: We did not!

Basil Fawlty: Yes you did, you invaded Poland.

----------sil Fawlty: This is typical. Absolutely typical... of the kind of...

[shouting]

Basil Fawlty: ARSE I have to put up with from you people. You ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot, while I'm trying to run a hotel here. Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not, you're all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to complain about, aren't you? Well let me tell you something - this is exactly how Nazi Germany started. A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble. Well I've had fifteen years of pandering to the likes of you, and I've had enough. I've had it. Come on, pack your bags and get out.

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Basil Fawlty: Will you be dining here tonight in this unfashionable dump?

Mr. Johnson: No, I wasn't planning to.

Basil Fawlty: No, not really your scene is it?

Mr. Johnson: I wanted to try a place in town... anywhere you recommend?

Basil Fawlty: What sort of food did you want... fruit or...?

Mr. Johnson: Any place I can get French food?

Basil Fawlty: Yes, France I believe. They seem to like it over there. The swim would certainly sharpen your appetite. You'd better hurry, the tide leaves in 8 minutes.

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Basil Fawlty: Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.

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[the Major is in the bar with a rifle, stalking a rat. Basil is behind him, unaware of what the Major is doing]

Basil Fawlty: Can I help you at all Major...?

Major Gowen: Don't move!

[Points the rifle at Basil]

Major Gowen: ...Vermin

[basil mishears and rolls eyes]

Basil Fawlty: We haven't got any this week, Major.

Major Gowen: Hm?

Basil Fawlty: ...No Germans.

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German Guest: Can we help you?

Basil Fawlty: Oh, you speak English.

German Guest: Of course.

Basil Fawlty: Ah, wonderful! Vonderbar! Ahh! Please allow me to introduce myself, I am the owner of Fawlty Towers. And may I welcome your war... your war... you all... and hope that your stay will be a happy one. Now, would you like to eat first, or would you like a drink before the war... AHH! Er... trespassers will be tied up with piano wire... SORRY, SORRY!

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Basil Fawlty: Walnuts! That's a laugh! Easier to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce than a walnut in this bloody kitchen!

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Basil Fawlty: [overseeing dinner, he approaches a table where Mrs. Heath is eating with her son Ronald] Everything all right here?

Mrs. Heath: Well...

Master Heath: [cutting in] I don't like the chips. The chips are awful.

Basil Fawlty: Really? How so?

Master Heath: They're the wrong shape and they're just awful.

Mrs. Heath: Ah, he's very clever... rather highly strung.

Basil Fawlty: [forcing himself to smile] Highly strung... Yes, he should be.

Master Heath: [to Basil] These eggs look like *you* laid them. Haven't you got any *proper* chips?

Basil Fawlty: These *are* proper French-fried potatoes. The chef is Continental.

Master Heath: Couldn't you get an English one?

Mrs. Heath: Why don't you just eat one or two, dear?

Master Heath: Because they're the wrong *shape*.

Basil Fawlty: Oh, my... What shape do you prefer? Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape? Amphibious landing-craft shape? Poke-in-the-eye shape?

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Mr. Arrad: Excuse me.

Basil Fawlty: Yes?

Mr. Arrad: Look, we've been waiting here for about half an hour now, I mean I gave the waiter our order...

Basil Fawlty: Oh, *him*. He's hopeless, isn't he?

Mr. Arrad: Yes, well I don't wish to complain, but when he does bring something he's got it wrong.

Basil Fawlty: You think I don't know? I mean, you only have to eat here. We have to live with it. I had to pay his fare all the way from Barcelona, but you can't get the staff you see. It's a nightmare.

Mrs. Arrad: You were supposed to be complaining to *him*.

[IMA_FARANG]

From IMDB Database

Memorable Quotes from

"Fawlty Towers" (1975)

The episode when Manuel got drunk and had a hangover.

Manuel was in the dining room on the floor underneath a table, moaning.

Fawlty says to him,"Manuel, why don't you go to your room? I'll help you."

"Oh no, Mr Fawlty", says Manuel, "If it's all the same to you, I'll just lie here and die on my own"

Having had a hangover like that, I know what he means

[mnoorsapl]

Is something wrong?