Bought Your Wife! Your Response?

[Ulysses G.]

"

Hi All,

Today while in conversation with two other men both in their late 50s, one said to the other that he should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me!

In 4 years living here in Ireland with my wife I have never had anything negative said to me before.

I was shocked and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. However I was not prepared and didn’t know how to respond properly, somewhere between totally ignoring the comment and kicking the sh1t out him.

How do you / would you react?

Foggy

"

Why would you be concerned about what strangers think about you? You don't know them. You have no obligations to them. Their opinions are completely irrelevant.

Although I agree with you, there are not many men who would not get angry at someone insulting their wife for no good reason. 

[Foggy Dew]

Hi All,

Thanks for your replies, especially those who “got” what I was on about.

In my original post I said I let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. What I did not say was that he apologized for his comment. He rents a property from me and is usually on every few weeks looking for some small thing or other, I don’t expect to hear from him for some time now and he knows he won’t get much cooperation from me for a while to come.

If he was ten or fifteen years younger I would have considered hitting him, but as it stands I would have more to lose if I did assault him.

By the way there is not a significant age difference between me and my wife but even if there was it does not give anyone the right to pass such comments.

I do believe that if someone disrespects my wife that I should not let it go or just laugh it off as if they have a right to do that because she is Thai.

This is the first time this happened to me in 4 years and when I thought about it after I was curious to know how some of you would react.

Foggy

Edited June 28, 2010 by Foggy Dew

[bangkokburning]

I think where you meet a person has a great deal to do with your future forward. Aside from "meeting her in a bar" meaning..."is she a (ex) prostitute"? There is a saying in the US - you never want to meet your love in a bar. It will never last. I tend to agree. I think the question was legitimate. Many, many bar girls ARE no dam_n good. This by my experience proves true now more than ever. I left that scene because I was really unhappy with all of them and came to few the lot as no dam_n good. This is not 1975 or 85 or 95.

My girlfriend and I met in a nat'l park, camping. She's perfect for me. Find an interest and you will find your girl. Sadly if your only interest is drink, that is the kind of girl you will get. One that is OK with that scene and one that will (possibly) tolerate excessive drinking.

For some guys here (here) a woman out of the bar is a perfect match in so many ways and if it works - great. Me, never.

There will always be ignorant people smirking and what not - but maybe some of it is deserved. Did you come here for a year or two and find a girl in a bar and take her back? Worse, a long holiday. This would raise even my eyebrow.

[Forethat]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

Answer: no, but I met yours at one

:clap2:

[sarahsbloke]

It will obviously come as a shock to you, but old men with young wives revolt most Westerners - OUR culture tells us that we marry for love.

Most won't actually be rude enough to say anything.

And this is what i fail to understand, why so obsessed by what other people do, why do you think your culture is right (or the only culture to be right).

My wife is 20 years younger than me, but looks 30 years younger, why would I want a woman my age?

OK for you youngsters to only fancy women your own age, but why do we older men have to give up on sex?

As for love, vastly over-rated, especially when the woman who once loved you goes for a western divorce.

Edited June 29, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Mosha]

All this reminds me of a chat with a workmate. He claimed he'd never payed for sex. I said he was wrong. When he said again he had never paid. I said"So you just walk up to a bird, and ask her for the leg over?" (This was at work remember) "Well no" he replied" I have to take her out for a few times." To which I said. "..and spend money on her, when all you want is sex. So why not cut to the chase and offer her money for the leg over."

[petedk]

An old time bar-owner in Chiang Mai used to tell everyone how he'd gone to a village where he'd never been before. They trotted out all the single women who stood in line and he'd pointed to one and paid cash on the barrel-head for his wife.

They were together for years and had a lovely daughter. Eventually she left him for a younger man, but I can not say that I blamed her.

What a load of rubish.

It's bullshit stories like this that gives Thailand a bad name!

I think your "old' time bar owner" mate has had a few too many in his time

It's not such a bull shit story as you make it out to be.

I also saw a TV documentary in Denmark about a couple of Danes who came over to buy wives. They were quite disgusting people, dirty, never fully dressed and always had a cigarette in the mouth. They came over bought wives and took them back to Denmark. The wives couldn't speak English, the men couldn't either.

The TV interviewed the girls and they said that they didn't love the men but that they were happy to have someone take care of them. Later when they learnt to speak Danish they developed some kind of affection for their husbands.

The girls managed to get decent jobs and divorce the men but still remained friends.

I personally know a guy who bought 2 wives here.

He came over, looked through a catalogue, paid money to meet and marry a girl. He took her back to his country but after a few years later he was bored with her and threw her out.

He came back to Thailand and bought another wife. He decided to stay here but after 2 years he died suddenly of a "heart disease" or whatever they called it. He was in his mid-thirties.

[Ulysses G.]

It will obviously come as a shock to you, but old men with young wives revolt most Westerners - OUR culture tells us that we marry for love.

Most won't actually be rude enough to say anything.

And this is what i fail to understand, why so obsessed by what other people do, why do you think your culture is right (or the only culture to be right).

My wife is 20 years younger than me, but looks 30 years younger, why would I want a woman my age?

OK for you youngsters to only fancy women your own age, but why do we older men have to give up on sex?

As for love, vastly over-rated, especially when the woman who once loved you goes for a western divorce.

Good post SB, and it is not unknown for young women to fall in love with old farts from time to time.

[Loz]

I know I cannot change the automatic assumption in some quarters that if you have a Thai wife that you got her in a bar or by mail order. Some people believe all Irish are drunks and all Scots are tight with money etc. That’s life.

But what gives them the right to insult both of us by jokingly saying that “I bought my wife” in my company?

My original question still stands, how do you reply / react to such an insult?

You can always make new friends.

I'm black, and if someone calls me the "N" word, I don't consider them "friend" material. If someone stands by the guy who called me that word, I cast them in the same light. I am not so hard up for friends that I need twunts like that in my circle. I suggest you adopt a similar approach to friendships regarding your domestic arrangements. If folk don't accept your life choices (as long as you are not a sociopath) then find folk that do.

Next Question?

[Berkshire]

I know I cannot change the automatic assumption in some quarters that if you have a Thai wife that you got her in a bar or by mail order. Some people believe all Irish are drunks and all Scots are tight with money etc. That's life.

But what gives them the right to insult both of us by jokingly saying that "I bought my wife" in my company?

My original question still stands, how do you reply / react to such an insult?

You can always make new friends.

I'm black, and if someone calls me the "N" word, I don't consider them "friend" material. If someone stands by the guy who called me that word, I cast them in the same light. I am not so hard up for friends that I need twunts like that in my circle. I suggest you adopt a similar approach to friendships regarding your domestic arrangements. If folk don't accept your life choices (as long as you are not a sociopath) then find folk that do.

Next Question?

I always thought the "N" word was tantamount to "fighting words." Back in the states, if a Caucasian person was to say the "N" word within earshot of an African-American, there was going to be trouble. You're a pretty understanding guy, considering the history of that word.

[Loz]

It is a very provacative word, ideed. But I have come to realise that many people using it do so with great ignorance of the ramifications of its use.

I have learned to check myself so that I don't lose anything I value, while at the same time checking them off the list of people I'd brake for on a zebra crossing.

you can't beat these people. As Thomas Fuller put it: It is madness for the sheep to talk peace with the wolves. Youcan't change peoples agendas all the time so spend the precious time you have with people who you don't want to change.

Back on topic:

If I had a wife, and someone dissed my wife along the lines of she was a who.re, I would actually be more offended thant if someone called me the N word. In no uncertain terms I WOULD exact revenge in a way they were unlikely to see coming.

It would be like insulting my parents. Some places you just DON'T go.

[bangkokburning]

If your hygiene is good, not overweight, no really bad (bad!) habits, eat Thai food (important), are semi open to the culture and have a stable income (you need not be rich) - your chances are that you can find a decent woman, even many years younger. Takes lots of time and a life outside Pattaya.

Many girls now don't even stay with the guy for the five years. The new trick is to call the cops on the guy for beating them. This is classic for Pinays in states now and I hear the Thai women are doing it as well. They get shelter, out of the house and expedited citizenship. You get a record. Lovely..

[robblok]

It is a very provacative word, ideed. But I have come to realise that many people using it do so with great ignorance of the ramifications of its use.

I have learned to check myself so that I don't lose anything I value, while at the same time checking them off the list of people I'd brake for on a zebra crossing.

you can't beat these people. As Thomas Fuller put it: It is madness for the sheep to talk peace with the wolves. Youcan't change peoples agendas all the time so spend the precious time you have with people who you don't want to change.

Back on topic:

If I had a wife, and someone dissed my wife along the lines of she was a who.re, I would actually be more offended thant if someone called me the N word. In no uncertain terms I WOULD exact revenge in a way they were unlikely to see coming.

It would be like insulting my parents. Some places you just DON'T go.

So what would happen if someone said yo N. (insert the bad word) your wife is a wh** .. i guess instant death

And just that we understand each other this was said in jest and in no way would i say something like that for real.

I haven't bought my wife and i'm not sure how i would react to someone calling her that. I am not a violent person so i think i would just make some verbal comments.

[Daewoo]

OP - There is a saying - "He doeth protest too much" or something, i.e. your reaction might be seen to indicate that you did, in fact, buy your wife, or somehow feel that you did... or else, you are concerned that many people might feel that is how you 'got her'...

Maybe some things cut a little too close to the bone, and that is why you are so upset... I guess it depends how good friends these guys were, and whether you would make simillar comments about them...

I lost my job at the start of the year, very distressing time for me... Wife and 3 young kids and all the stresses that western society can provide... I specifically asked my mates not to make jokes about it, but they still did... Jokes aren't funny unless they are a little bit true...

So, I guess my reaction would most probably have been to make a joke at their expense... "I didn't pay, 'cause I am adorable, most guys pay 20,000 baht 'cause they are old, the Japanese pay 200,000 baht 'cause they have small dicks, disagreable, ugly, useless old cun_ts like you should expect to pay a million"

Daewoo

[onnut]

anytime someone disrespects ur wife u have the right to punch him, this is an understanding between all gentlemen. i am not saying u have to slug the guy, but u are within your rights to do so.

I agree

Some tit told my wife to f off last night when she tried to take his order in HER restaurant. And said he did not want thai idiots messing up his order. She was very upset about it but was shocked and just left him there as they do!!! When she told me I said she should of called me because I was only down the road.

I would of enjoyed bouncing him down the road!

[uptoyoumyfriend]

two replies come to mind:

she's actually just my girlfriend right now but we'll get married as soon as she turns 16 !

i didn't really buy her -it's a lease- that way i can trade her in for a new one very 5 years !

[ozzieovaseas]

Folks on here could always answer " Well if you bought yours I hope you kept the receipt."

:rolleyes:no returns in LOS..didnt you know??

[sirluke1944]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

I've been married to my Amazing Thai Godess for more than twelve years now, we have homes in the U.K as well as in LOS, Before we married She told me " It's easy to buy Love in Thailand, but not so easy to buy a Heart " Thank God we met eachother, she has and still is my inspiration, just wished more on here could have my luck.

[teddy_bare]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

If only you'd replied 'No, that's where I met yours!'

[hawthorne]

I went for the long-term mortgage on mine. Paying in monthly installments it seems. Love you dear.

My credit must have been lousy I was not given the installment option. I probably could not afford the interest rate any way.

[mahtin]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

I've been married to my Amazing Thai Godess for more than twelve years now, we have homes in the U.K as well as in LOS, Before we married She told me " It's easy to buy Love in Thailand, but not so easy to buy a Heart " Thank God we met eachother, she has and still is my inspiration, just wished more on here could have my luck.

Most don't waste their time here.

There's infinitely more than the nay-sayers and Esarn-bashers would have you believe.

[Pushit]

Arrr Jim Lad!!

[mahtin]

Arrr Jim Lad!!

Thank you for the moral support.

[SuperstarStatus]

Hi All,

Today while in conversation with two other men both in their late 50s, one said to the other that he should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me!

In 4 years living here in Ireland with my wife I have never had anything negative said to me before.

I was shocked and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. However I was not prepared and didn’t know how to respond properly, somewhere between totally ignoring the comment and kicking the sh1t out him.

How do you / would you react?

Foggy

So basically you where too scared to say or do anything about it, so you come vent on a forum?

Or deep down did it hit you maybe that was a true statement he said?

[rgs2001uk]

Hi All,

Today while in conversation with two other men both in their late 50s, one said to the other that he should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me!

In 4 years living here in Ireland with my wife I have never had anything negative said to me before.

I was shocked and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. However I was not prepared and didn't know how to respond properly, somewhere between totally ignoring the comment and kicking the sh1t out him.

How do you / would you react?

Foggy

So basically you where too scared to say or do anything about it, so you come vent on a forum?

Or deep down did it hit you maybe that was a true statement he said?

"and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable."

Seems straight forward enough to me.

May be he is a Thai guy, and because he didnt have 15 of his friends to back him up like most Thai men he chose to ignore it.

[SuperstarStatus]

Hi All,

Today while in conversation with two other men both in their late 50s, one said to the other that he should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me!

In 4 years living here in Ireland with my wife I have never had anything negative said to me before.

I was shocked and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. However I was not prepared and didn't know how to respond properly, somewhere between totally ignoring the comment and kicking the sh1t out him.

How do you / would you react?

Foggy

So basically you where too scared to say or do anything about it, so you come vent on a forum?

Or deep down did it hit you maybe that was a true statement he said?

"and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable."

Seems straight forward enough to me.

May be he is a Thai guy, and because he didnt have 15 of his friends to back him up like most Thai men he chose to ignore it.

Doubt it, Thai man doesn't have money to buy or would need to buy a Thai womans love, when two Thais love each others it's so natural.

[dginoob]

Look at it from the other side of the coin.

My friend Sam is old and fat and ugly. He was a fish monger in Boston for years.

He saved his money. He now lives in Thailand. He will live here till he dies.

Not only did he buy (sin sot) his wife, he thought it was a blue light special and he bought a bunch of them. You can do that here with village ceremonies.

He lives in Chiang Mai, Bangkok and another place. He has a wife and home in each place.

Sam leases all his homes from one Thai guy who he bankrolled as a developer. Sam owns the company Treaty of Amity or something like that.

He tells his families that he has business and lives with each family for three months. For the remaining three months he lives in Pattaya and plays around.

He is 65 and all his wives are between the ages of 18 and 22 that he met in bars. They are all beautiful. Except of course for his American wife who divorced him thinking he had no money and was tired of waiting for a payoff.

Sam had a unique way of saving money, fascinating actually which is why I know him.

But that's another story.

He upsets western women for obvious reasons.

But why does Sam upset normal guys who come to Thailand and marry normal women.

Is it because if his one of his wives does something he doesn't like he gets a different one?

Is it because in addition to his wives he plays around?

I realize reading your post that you give off negative vibrations towards old men with young wives. You don't like it. It bothers you.

Why would it bother you?

What I want to know is what is Sams unique way of saving money!!?? I need some tips as I am absolutely useless in this regard.

Mark

[rgs2001uk]

Hi All,

Today while in conversation with two other men both in their late 50s, one said to the other that he should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me!

In 4 years living here in Ireland with my wife I have never had anything negative said to me before.

I was shocked and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. However I was not prepared and didn't know how to respond properly, somewhere between totally ignoring the comment and kicking the sh1t out him.

How do you / would you react?

Foggy

So basically you where too scared to say or do anything about it, so you come vent on a forum?

Or deep down did it hit you maybe that was a true statement he said?

"and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable."

Seems straight forward enough to me.

May be he is a Thai guy, and because he didnt have 15 of his friends to back him up like most Thai men he chose to ignore it.

Doubt it, Thai man doesn't have money to buy or would need to buy a Thai womans love, when two Thais love each others it's so natural.

Oh thats just so cute, "when two Thais love each others it's so natural".

What happened to your wife? Didnt pay sin sot, good man.

Take it your wife chose the love you short time option and not the usual I love you long time some Thai woman are famous for.

[SuperstarStatus]

Lol. Why so bitter?

[rizla]

You can always make new friends.

I'm black, and if someone calls me the "N" word, I don't consider them "friend" material. If someone stands by the guy who called me that word, I cast them in the same light. I am not so hard up for friends that I need twunts like that in my circle. I suggest you adopt a similar approach to friendships regarding your domestic arrangements. If folk don't accept your life choices (as long as you are not a sociopath) then find folk that do.

Next Question?

Lets set the record straight first, i have never and will never use the N word to a black person...But as a point of note, where i come from in the Uk, there isn`t a lot of coloured folks, BUT, what i did see which got my back up was the raising trend of reverse racisim, when coloured folks were using this card to better themselfs, and not on merit, but on the fear factor....that i didn`t like, and when they were exposed to it , offcourse they denied anything of the sort...but in a lot of cases it was so blaytant that it was obvious to all....regards

Edited June 29, 2010 by rizla