The Funny Things She Says

[sunholidaysun1]

I was watching Animal planet with a Thai lady friend in the week, the documentary was about King Penguins. My friend asked me , " what do you call them " I said , Penguins, Oh she said ,nearly the same ,we call them Pinkwins ,hahahahha. She then said , not all animals we call the same, you call Zebra - Zebra, we call them Giraffe , I nearly died laughing so much .

Giraffe !? .... I'm dying laughing now ........... Hope its not true

True 100% , but so funny , I stilllaugh when thinking about it .

[jubby]

I was watching Animal planet with a Thai lady friend in the week, the documentary was about King Penguins. My friend asked me , " what do you call them " I said , Penguins, Oh she said ,nearly the same ,we call them Pinkwins ,hahahahha. She then said , not all animals we call the same, you call Zebra - Zebra, we call them Giraffe , I nearly died laughing so much .

Giraffe !? .... I'm dying laughing now ........... Hope its not true

True 100% , but so funny , I stilllaugh when thinking about it .

No, I mean they don't really call a Zebra a Girraffe here do they

[sceadugenga]

It's a pretty important thing, the wife and I discuss zebras and giraffes on an almost daily basis.

[waza]

A friends thai wife asked him, Thai dog speak woof woof, what Englisg dog speak? and if thai dog meet english dog can they talk?

[jubby]

It's a pretty important thing, the wife and I discuss zebras and giraffes on an almost daily basis.

It may not be a pretty Important thing Scea. But if its true it speaks Volumes . to me anyway

[sceadugenga]

I suppose it's important to keep a sense of linguistic superiority with this type of thread.

Personally I'm just pleased that the Thais don't bust a gut laughing at some of the things I try to say in their language.

[jubby]

I suppose it's important to keep a sense of linguistic superiority with this type of thread.

Personally I'm just pleased that the Thais don't bust a gut laughing at some of the things I try to say in their language.

'linquistic Superiority' !? ...... If it funny its funny, Let em laugh

Anyway, I'm just a dumb Sexpat, not a 'Mover and shaker'. What do I know !? . ... Give me another 10-15 years to work on my delusion

[Paul888]

A friends thai wife asked him, Thai dog speak woof woof, what Englisg dog speak? and if thai dog meet english dog can they talk?

I wonder about that myself also to be honest.

[Tim207]

I was looking at earrings with my (now ex) wife. There were two pairs that she really liked so she asked if she could get them both. I wanted to jokingly ask her "how many piercings do you have in your ears?". What I actually asked with my limited vocabulary was "how many holes do you have?". The sales girls all cracked up my wife turned red and I stood there wondering what the he11 was going on until my wife explained.

.

[harsu]

A friends thai wife asked him, Thai dog speak woof woof, what Englisg dog speak? and if thai dog meet english dog can they talk?

I wonder about that myself also to be honest.

If I remember correctly, modern sound analysis techniques have shown that dogs do 'talk' with different regional accents - eg a dog from Liverpool speaks with a higher pitch than many other areas in th Uk. Probably find that they can all communicate well, but might struggle a bit with some of the subtleties! There is no misunderstanding the meaning of a bite on the bum.

[jubby]

A friends thai wife asked him, Thai dog speak woof woof, what Englisg dog speak? and if thai dog meet english dog can they talk?

I wonder about that myself also to be honest.

If I remember correctly, modern sound analysis techniques have shown that dogs do 'talk' with different regional accents - eg a dog from Liverpool speaks with a higher pitch than many other areas in th Uk. Probably find that they can all communicate well, but might struggle a bit with some of the subtleties! There is no misunderstanding the meaning of a bite on the bum.

Dogs with a Scouse accent. !? Your Sh .... err. ... 'Kidding' me Harsu

What Dialect do your Greyhounds (or are they Lurchers, I forget.) Anyway, what Dialect do they speak with ?

[harsu]

A friends thai wife asked him, Thai dog speak woof woof, what Englisg dog speak? and if thai dog meet english dog can they talk?

I wonder about that myself also to be honest.

If I remember correctly, modern sound analysis techniques have shown that dogs do 'talk' with different regional accents - eg a dog from Liverpool speaks with a higher pitch than many other areas in th Uk. Probably find that they can all communicate well, but might struggle a bit with some of the subtleties! There is no misunderstanding the meaning of a bite on the bum.

Dogs with a Scouse accent. !? Your Sh .... err. ... 'Kidding' me Harsu

What Dialect do your Greyhounds (or are they Lurchers, I forget.) Anyway, what Dialect do they speak with ?

They're ex-racing greyhounds. Barney was Irish bred, so I imagine he has a soft Irish brogue mixed in with some Yorkshire (did a lot of racing around there), and Poppy - well a nice Doric twang. Anyway, we can understand them perfectly. 'What's that stuff on the outside of trees, Barney? 'Bark'. 'How would describe the texture of it, Barney?' 'Ruff'.'

[RedBullHorn]

Me and my kid was watching TV and the wife was busy lecturing his brother on the phone about him having an affair with a co-worker in the factory,

my wife was siding with her brother's wife and promised her that she'd straighten him out because it looks like her brother was ready to dump her and his kids for that girl.

My wife was so carried away in her conversation on the phone that she blurted out loud and clear...with or without think :

"hey, you've 2 kids, where is your sense of resposibility,

you are a father and you have a wife too...how can you do this (affair) to your wife !?!!

Look...if it's just for fun and for just a while it's ok...but you mustn't decide that you want to

call it quit with your wife and kids...."

I look at my kid and obviously he over heard it too and look at me with a wicked grin...

(me)..." What !?!!...What do you mean if it's just for fun and just for a while then it's OK !?!!...So you're approving it...then can i do it too ? "

Holding the phone to her ear and looking at me astonishingly ...she suddenly had a jump and for that moment had a lost of words as she realised

what she had just said and quickly tried to correct it....not to her brother but to me :

"No no no...err..i mean...err..NO !...Not to you, you cannot !!! "...she broke down laughing, my kid and i laughed so much...

I pursued on,

(me)..."But i thought you said it OK ? "

(her, turning around still holding the phone) " NOooo...i mean him, you cannot !!! "

My kid laughed so hard that he fell off the sofa ~

Edited October 26, 2010 by RedBullHorn

[bifftastic]

I was watching Animal planet with a Thai lady friend in the week, the documentary was about King Penguins. My friend asked me , " what do you call them " I said , Penguins, Oh she said ,nearly the same ,we call them Pinkwins ,hahahahha. She then said , not all animals we call the same, you call Zebra - Zebra, we call them Giraffe , I nearly died laughing so much .

Giraffe !? .... I'm dying laughing now ........... Hope its not true

True 100% , but so funny , I stilllaugh when thinking about it .

No, I mean they don't really call a Zebra a Girraffe here do they

no mate it's 'maa laai' basically means 'patterned horse'

[jubby]

They're ex-racing greyhounds. Barney was Irish bred, so I imagine he has a soft Irish brogue mixed in with some Yorkshire (did a lot of racing around there), and Poppy - well a nice Doric twang. Anyway, we can understand them perfectly. 'What's that stuff on the outside of trees, Barney? 'Bark'. 'How would describe the texture of it, Barney?' 'Ruff'.'

Irish. Thats close to scouse . I was just thinking that maybe they may be able to assist Soap rounding people up into that Hash Circle thing that he tries so hard to do by himself. I've only seen a 100% Failure rate. But if they can't understand Him like the rest of us, Its a pointless exercise

Thanks Biff. patterned Horse . Nice

And RBH, I agree with everything your Wife says

Edited October 26, 2010 by jubby

[harrry]

And RBH, I agree with everything your Wife says

He probably does too. It leads to a quieter life.

[lannaman]

Mrs Lman comes into the house and in rather an alarmed way says," There's snail in the tar".

Well I think,"I know she's scared of geckos, snakes and spiders, but SNAILS! and what tar?"

Then we go outside to the pickup and there it is:- "THERE'S A NAIL IN THE TYRE".

[woralak]

Er indoors;;;;;; (Sun 21st) We go wat to give suffering to monk,you come wit or what ?.

Me;;;;;;;;; Eh

Er indoors;;;;;;Yeah you give suffering to monk wit me yes.

Me;;;;;;;Do you mean offering ?.

Er indoors;;;;Yes and say prayer.

So we bought a plastic bucket with all the goodies and went and did our thing,on our return she said;;;;;;I think the monk was very happy wit his suffering,i replied and said yes darling he was a very happy monk for sure,hey ho.

[jubby]

Brilliant Woralak. I bet she gives you 'Suffering' morning, noon and night

[woralak]

Brilliant Woralak. I bet she gives you 'Suffering' morning, noon and night

Hey Jubbs just got back from Mea Sai/CR,and yes she does most days (bless er) .

[jubby]

Brilliant Woralak. I bet she gives you 'Suffering' morning, noon and night

Hey Jubbs just got back from Mea Sai/CR,and yes she does most days (bless er) .

Which mea was that again marra !? ..... Ducks and sharp knifes spring to mind

[ImageDude]

My lovely wife once gave me some classic directions one evening when we were going to a new restaurant. "We should went to the road behind the where we have been before " . . . err. .ok

Cheers

ImageDude

[kandahar]

So many of these postings sound familiar. If I haven't heard them in person, word for word, I have heard something very close from my better half. They all bring smiles to my face.

A couple of days ago, the wife got up very early. She fumbled around in the dark and turned on her laptop and plugged in a nice set of headphones that I recently bought. She wanted to hear her music and her youtube files.

Eventually, the sun came up and I got out of bed. She was about to register a compliant with me concerning the headphones. She had been suffering a pain from the headphones on one side of her head and she wanted to ask me why I had bought such a crappy set. As she removed them from her head and started to pose her question, she realized that the left side earphone was turned the opposite way and the hard backside was against her ear while the soft speaker side was facing outwards. She really didn't want to tell me about that but she got so tickled at herself that she felt compelled to tell me what was so funny. She had been listening to her files for quite a while at that point. We go through things like this often.

[Michaelaway]

Today, I happened to look in our refrigerator, and saw that the cucumbers, lettuce & basil in the vegetables drawer had frosted-over for some reason; these veggies were now ready for the trash bin. So, I asked my wonderful, sweet, loving, helpful, clever and intuitive Thai girlfriend, Cat, "Sweet heart, look at this; what do you think happened here...? Her answer kinda tickled me:

"...Kaw, darling- it's because the air in the drawer got too cold..."

(ohhhh, ok- I get it now...thanks)

[ginooooo]

The funny things they do.

Wife's family, being country folks, and maybe the bank did not explain to them but just before 2000 (Y2K), we had about 15k in the local bank saved for retirement in Phayao. Because of the computer scares about banks having problems with software, we called Thailand and to the family to take everything out and buy a truck before Jan 1, 2000. Well, being country folks, I guess they do not do or know about casher's checks, they took it all out in baht currency, 2 bags full of money, rode a motorcycle to Phayao to the local Toyota dealer, laid the 2 bags of money down and said-I want a truck. I thought it was funny as hell and still have the pickup truck. Hmmmmmmm-I wonder when the dealer saw all that baht, if we got the best deal.

[ianf]

When my ex-wife first came to England we drove past a field of sheep: "Darling", she said "I did not know you had furry pigs in England".

She'd also misname rabbits (her favourite animal). Driving down a quiet clean country lane in Buckinghamshire we saw loads of rabbits by the side of the road, hopping happily. "Why you have so much rubbish on your road?" she asked. "There's no rubbish that I can see", I replied. "Yes, there are many rubbish jumping around" she answered.

Finally we saw large bales of hay wrapped in black polythene neatly arranged across a field.

"You know what they are, do you love?" I asked.

"No!" she answered.

"In England we have Giant rabbits that only come out at night time, and that is rabbit poo, their droppings."

She was nonplussed and didn't respond so I chose not to push it.

A few weeks later we were about to drive down the same country lane at night time. "please don't go down there" she pleaded.

"Why ever not?" I asked.

"I'm frightened of the giant rubbish" she said.

Still cracks me up one divorce and 16 years later!

[kandahar]

I'm resting and she decides to trim my eyebrows a bit. As she is trimming, she stops and looks into my left eye.

She: What is that in your eye?

Me: I dunno. I don't feel anything.

She: I know what it is. In Thailand, if you have that in your eye, it means you have been looking at someone naked.

Me: Cmon, hon!

She: No, really, it means that.

I still have no idea what she saw in my eye but now I'm working hard to avert my eyes when naked people walk past.

Edited December 11, 2010 by kandahar

[Paul888]

Are we to read into this that your wife doesn't let you look at HER naked kandahar?

[kandahar]

Are we to read into this that your wife doesn't let you look at HER naked kandahar?

I allow a lot of latitude in the interpretations of my writings here. So, I won't answer that one.

But this is a fact. She knows almost all of the little superstitions here and has great fun screwing with me when she notices something I am doing, or have done, that brings one of them to her mind. I have doubts as to how seriously she takes any of them because she always has this little mischievous smile when she imparts this info to me.

[harrry]

has great fun screwing with me when she notices something I am doing, or have done, that brings one of them to her mind. I have doubts as to how seriously she takes any of them because she always has this little mischievous smile when she imparts this info to me.

Good thing you are not an aussie kandahar or that statement would take a lot of latitude. boasting?