Concerned (please Advise)

[Col.Kurtz]

Concerned Falang,

When I read you're follow-up I was The good Col. here recommends you move your sweet ass out of that apt. ASAP soldier! I know the whole family is there and you may feel pressured into staying. <deleted> that. What's more important? Her family or your cock? I thought so! I wouldn't sleep one wink with her around me! Since the family is there already, and you don't want to create a scene (my feeling based on your post), wait until they all leave - then split! Never regret what you can't walk away with in 60 seconds! Keep us posted and watch your cock!

[wilson steer]

Please read my thread 'a sinister cover up' above I started this post about penis cutting 4 or five months ago. Then it was ridiculed. It must be taken seriously, almost every falang who has lived in Thailand for a few years will have heard of this act....

[singa-traz]

And if you have one of these in your kitchen ... Destroy it NOW !

[surin]

Please read my thread 'a sinister cover up' above I started this post about penis cutting 4 or five months ago. Then it was ridiculed. It must be taken seriously, almost every falang who has lived in Thailand for a few years will have heard of this act....

Wilson Steer.....You should really know about genital detachment, using the name 'Steer"...Isn't that a castrated bull?

[surin]

There now is a new meaning in Thailand, when a bloke is described as not being "All There"!!

[Spellbound]

An Ode to he that is Oh so concerned

Life in Thailand I thought was just getting better.

Well at least until I read your forum letter.

I read again and again your cry for help.

and Jesus Christ it made me yelp.

You write, you just want your space and go a-lone,

all that happens is your Girl Friend begins to moan.

On your return, she’s mad and changes her tone,

and you didn’t even give a “dog a bone”

So after some fun in soi cowboy, that’s not to far,

beer inside you and feeling good decided to get a taxi car.

Going home you order please stop at this “Karaoke Bar”

pay the meter and walk into that door that’s always A-jar.

Inside this bar you order yet another beer,

furthest from your mind is your greatest fear.

Not even a thought about your man-hood gear,

now I think you want shed a tear.

Your cry for help has been heard far and wide,

the crazy girl friend thinks you’ve lied.

Her trust for you has surely died,

now your man-hood you must be denied.

Her family has come “we hope” to your defence,

they care only for there pay-out of a few pence.

But to stay there would make no sense,

get out off there fast and use pru-dence.

We give you advice with our entire blessing,

but you leave here all thinking and guessing.

But please get out now, and stop this messing,

or you’ll be the one that ends up cross-dressing.

You have to leave right now this “nutter”,

a knife can go thru your dick like butter.

Oh my god I can hear you mutter,

she’ll just throw it in the gutter.

A proverb says, “A stitch in time saves nine”,

if you don’t want our advice, that’s just fine.

Stay at your peril, but please don’t whine,

all I can tell you is I’m very attached to mine.

I ask you now, to just sit and think,

when you hear those knives go jink jink.

Your little member can be gone with just a blink,

O’h my God, what’s happened to Mr Pink.

Oh by the way, no help from that company we call Pfizer,

you know, those little blue pills they make us no wiser.

Good for making living with a sexy Thai lady a whole lot nicer.

But for god’s sake man get rid off that <deleted> LIQUIDISER

[Dove]

Hey Buddy, If I were you I wouldn't sleep at night or near her. All the replies I see are real and I have read many news articles about jealous Thai wives/lovers. The problem with thai women I find is that they are at either extremes, full of love or full of anger.

I remember clearly the case of the guy who was a sleep to wake up in pain and to learn that his lover had removed his penis, chopped it in a chopper it and fed it to the ducks. Morale of the story " Don't eat Thai roast ducks" no I am just kidding. And to think that you actually finance the future destruction of your manhood.

I guess your best bet is to get out of town or get an armoured chasity belt until she has forgotten the issue.

Another word of caution, if she gets to loving do not accept any blow jobs from her for the moment.

Good luck buddy.

[Ugots2Believe]

Excellent, Spellbound ! (Applauding)

[Davidcharles]

MY TWO PENNY WORTH -

BUY A GOOD STRONG JOCK STRAP AND WEAR IT AT ALL TIMES.

ALSO BUY A FALSE STRAP- ON - COCK THAT LOOKS REAL, SO THAT IF SHE HAS A GO AT YOU, IT WON'T HURT.

AND IF INSPITE OF ALL PRECAUTIONS, SHE DOES MANAGE TO CUT IT OFF, TAKE SOLACE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WILL NEVER GO BALD!

[ray23]

Buddy I wouldn't have stayed with that chick for another second, if you think the family is there to help you, think again they will protect her no matter what it costs you. Do what ever you have to do to get out that situation. These guys have all told you the truth, this chick will kill you to save face does that sound like a person who has her head screwed on straight. Your first reaction was correct, get out of dodge and now. If you have to the cops can help you get your stuff out. May cost you a bit, but you probably came here with a fwe siutcases and survived and more then likely can again. I had similar problem not to this extent all it took was a vague threat. I moved fired the housekeeper, didn't contact anyone only two people in the world knew where I was. Rented a house in another name had all the utilties put in someones elses named, It took opnly three months and few baht to get all squared away. Hired a convincing con artist who said he was an attorney, to deal with her and the family. I never spoke to her and as far as she knew I had went back to the states. I had to get a motorcycle signed off, not just any bike a custom phantom, one that i had done all the work on myself and I wanted on my name. I only moved ten KMS this was in Udon a much smaller town and she never found me. When you go out that door that loving family is something else you have to deal with. Time is on your side if you get out, if you stay, you are going to pay through the nose even if she doesn't kill you. Right now you are no longer in control of your life, get the control back adn ebjoy your life here. There are plenty of girls in Thailand not just the bar girls that you mentioned.

Life is much to short move on while you can find your happiness

[wilson steer]

David Charles, as much as enjoy reading your posts please write in lower case, capitals is deemed as shouting on message boards.

The strap-on idea is quite good but wouldn't that leave two protruding members? thus just reducing the chances to 50/50 %? Also regarding the baldness issue, surely that would be regarding the removal of the testes? Eunuchs rarely go bold because testosterone is lowered and as result androgens are lowered, so baldness is unlikely. There are no bald eskimos or innuit as they are now called.

[Concerned Falang]

Update, I am posting this before, I read any more posts from on this forum and make me even more paranoid. So please forgive me if I have missed anything.

Well the situation has changed and now I am very ###### confused, as I said earlier I was to sleep with my “brother-in-law” downstairs whilst my GF slept off the drink. Well I can tell you I awoke at 5ish only to find my brother in law fondling me. I was ###### horrified. After sitting up rathar fast, all he kept saying was zip-zip mai bem rai. (Now I don’t know whether he is Bi or not, or what he was looking for) but he has stayed like a shadew with me all day.

Anyway, he is the least of my worries right now, The GF has informed me she was only angry because she thinks she is pregnant, and was scarred that I was leaving her.

I have told the family that everything will be OK, and they can go home, but I have been informed they are staying until Sunday just to make sure the GF has settled down.

I have written this fast, as my GF has nipped out with the mother, and luckily the rest of the family cant read English, so I apologise for any stupid spelling mistakes.

Again Thank you for your help, and I still have my passport with me, just in case.

[wilson steer]

Perhaps your brother-in-law is fondling you whilst it is still there? My serious recommendation is that break all ties with this relationship as quickly as possible and relocate to a different part of Thailand, get a new SIM card, be secretive with your new address and get a brand new girlfriend who you check out mentally first before she moves in with you. I am serious!!

[Guest ka1234]

I have seen this before. He can't see the forest for all the trees. Everyone else see the danger, but the person in the center of it all will just continue running into the wall. He is in a state where he will not listen to any bystanders because he is hoping that his girlfriend is an exception to the rule.

Btw, there was another cock-chopper just a few days ago. She cut it off, chopped it and flushed it down the toilet. Her explanation to the police was she was protecting other women from her husband. No word in English language newspapers AFAIK, but Thai Rath reported on it.

[Col.Kurtz]

Let me get this straight......you woke up at around 5am and your brother-in-law was playing "lets find the pee-pee" with your dick? And you're still there? What a f*cked up family! Jeeeesh.

Ka1234 hit the nail on the head! Listen up "Concerned Falang" because you may not get another chance. You need to grab your shit and leave. Go for a walk and don't come back. You're either going to get your "pee-pee" cut off by this crazy girl when the family leaves or you're gonna get raped by your brother in law! I can't believe this shit! Run boy run!

[SoCal]

Maybe the sister is not feeding "it" to the ducks as we thought, but instead promised it to the brother. Brother just wants to get a quick "look see" at what he is getting. Brother now imagining all the interesting uses- door stop, hood ornament, etc.

I don't know, all starting to sound like the Thai version of the movie Deliverance. Maybe one of you can put pen to paper and make some money.

The fact that this chap is still there tells you it is either a troll, or he is the crazy one.

[plachon]

Concerned's story gets curiouser and curiouser! Or horrendouser and horrendouser. And he says the bro-in-law's nocturnal gropings are the least of his worries! He's having second thoughts about moving out and thinks things could perhaps work out with the G/F, despite all the advice to the contrary posted. It's a tragi-comedy in the making, that could surpass even Bud's pre-arrival ramblings for human interest factor. The strange part is, I don't think the guy is a troll, so please Concerned, if you do decide to stay against the grain of logic, then at least keep us updated on a regular basis! I'm hooked waiting for the next juicy installment. Quack! Quack!

[sidzz]

Hmmmmmmm.

No word from concerned falang for a while... hope he's still in one piece (sorry!)

If you are there 'concerned falang' you dont only have to FEAR your chicken swilling girlfriend or fondlind 'brother-in-law'...................

Where did you g/f get the idea for buying the liquidizer?????????? from her mother!!!

I guess if you stay in this situation much longer... one night the brother will fondle it out of your trousers, your g/f will skillfully remove it and good ol' betul nut chewing mum will be in the kitchen revving up the blender!!!!!!!!

RUN and be free 'concerned falang'

[dr_Pat_Pong]

It seems his status now is UNCONCERNED

[rabkk]

It seems his status now is UNCONCERNED

At this time he is too busy with his brother-in-law...

[surin]

Maybe he should take up the relationship with the Brother-in Law...just in case the gf gets to lop off his man-hood...and his life is not entirely wasted!

[sidzz]

How do you get half a pound of meat out of a fly???????????

[maniac_bkk]

I feel for this poor guy, he is trapped at least until Sunday when the Hillbillies go home, AND HE KNOWS IT.

Until Sunday he is trapped BY THE FAMILY to make sure the ATM is here to stay.

As for the brother-in law !! well I want to ask is he a faggot, is he married and if he is married, is he married to our friends girlfriend? ( we all know this happens )

I am just thinking this because as stated he was gropeing, make me think he wonders what his WIFE is really getting.

I can emagine for one minute this guy does not know he has real poblem, and he is just holding tight until he has the chance to get out of there.

[Marshy]

How can he be a brother in law if it's a girlfriend? Somthing is a--miss.

[Marshy]

miniac---ahh you beat me to it.

[Never Never land]

Just take the TOURIST POLICE THERE finish all the contracts with the house and get a new one in secret in another part of town. But tell them you going abroad. Maybe go to Phuket for a month or 2. Then while they are there move everything and keep on smilling she will soon get over you and found another waling talking ATM machine trust me i dont the same thing.

You may loose money but staying in Thailand should be fun not a living ######!

[Marshy]

Another strange thing is------in the topic of this thread he says my TGF has (joked) about-------------were is the jokeing?

[Dove]

Concerned Falang,

My advice is not to trust any Thai women or even gay for the moment.

Imagine this scenario.

After this incident you are scared depressed, drinking down your sorrows you meet this stunning lady. She touches you and every time she touches you she excites you more. You are totally excited you invite her to a hotel for the night. She accepts and you are sex starved you need to explode so you bring her to the nearest hotel. She doesn't speak except that she mourns and the more she mouurns the more excited you get.You must have her.

She strips her top and you cannot resist her beautiful breast, you have to suckle her nipples and as you do you are also too pissed to note the the slightly bitter taste of the parts. You never even realized that she is actually a man. You suddenly feel dopey and fall asleep as she strokes you to your er...... Suddenly the lights are out. You are dead asleep from suckling the laced nipples.

He dresses up opens the door to let in your TGF and her mother. Together they tie your naked body to the bed. Your Tgf ties a Tourniquet around your c_ck. Her mother drools as she thinks of the fat duck she going to roast in a forthnight. The duck that was to be fed with Falang plotein. An ancient Thai secret to produce ducks with meaty firm necks with and Falang Plotein is known to add at least three and half inches in length to the neck. (Duck necks are a Thai delicacy roasted or boiled in dark Soy sauce, the ladies just love sucking the heads and chewing on the tongue and little brain, good with a little Thai whiskey to enhance the taste.)

After she has finished with the Tourniquet her mother helps pull your little member to make it as long as possible, she adjusts the Tourniquet. Then the sexy gay passes your tgf a sharp pair of kitchen scissors that cuts anything, steel plates glass heets, you name just like advertised on TV. Then they turn on the TV at the highest possible volume and snip. You let out a loud scream. The neighbours cannot differentiiate it from a scream of pain or joy with the loud TV on. Your member falls off, blood flows but not to heavily, she applies a Friar's Balsom soaked sanitary napkin on your groin to stop the bleeding. What's left in the area is a bag good housing two balls good enough to be a tobacco pouch if removed cleaned and dried with salt. Anyway the balls would make a good bowl of Thai noodle soup. But she wasn't keen on noodles tonight anyway so decide to leave the bag of balls. What would she do with a bag to house pipe tobacco anyway. Tenderly, she fits you with an adult diaper. She unties you but you are too weak to grab her in your anger, you try to get up you but fall and faint .

Meanwhile, your Tgf and accomplices picks up and skewers your lost member with a bamboo satay stick and head for the nearest sausage stall and gets it barbequed. When it is done they dip it in the best Thai chilli sauce (the least they could do to honor your lost- they could have used free chilli sauce from Kentucky) and chop it up with basil leaves, mix it with rice and fed it to the duck. They make sure that they use the latest Korean chopper that ensures clean and fine mince.(Anyway what's the difference you won't feel the pain as it is already lost). Well, the duck ate it all up, by nautre the duck knew that it was good for it's growth.

Finally, you get up in the morning fortunately, she used a clean new pair of scissors-no infection, fortunately you didn't die from bleeding because she did a good job. You are given medical treatment and have to leave the hospital without a membership and you will not be able to log in anywhere-poor man. They propose to fit you with the latest artificial member. It's the latest development by Thai scientists, it operates with 6 speeds works with cells from a life jacket. All you need is sea water to activate the cell to work for a weekend-the battery is imported and the brand name is Cialis-not yet approve for sale at all shops in Thailand but available over the internet if replacement is required. Amazing thing is that it works on urine too if the salt content is high enough. As a novelty a glowing head could also be attached as well as other thermo controlled ones with different shaped heads some even with hair on top.

Two weeks later you are losing your sanity, your tgf feels gulty and she comes pleading for your forgiveness and after a change of heart you forgive her and return home with her. She offers to pay for your attachment paying for it by working at Soi Cowboy as a salt and pepper shaker.

Finally, she know that she will live happily ever after with your new member as she had never experienced better performance when you had the live member playing and imagine it glows in the dark too.

In celeberation for the joy in her daughter you have given, her mother roast a duck fed on Falang plotein for dinner and you all feast and lived happily ever after. As her mother sucks and bites on the extra long duck neck and head she brags about her bionic Falang son-in-law.

End of "faily" tale.

Question, who would rather be the the memberless bionic man or the duck that was given a chopped up member dipped in the best Thai chilii sauce, with rice and basil leaves to be fattened up and slaughtered and roasted and eventually eatened by the man who lost his member.

Answer. Neither. Get the first ticket out of Thailand, come back next year, go to Laos, only thing is that you might lose a foot walking in the fields but not your membership. Thai girls are a close and dangerous lot, you never will know who is working with her or when she will strike. Even if she smiles she may be harboring a bleeding heart awaiting revenge.

Run Falalang Run.

[HEXtaB]

What's your GF's name? "Som"? Now that would be humorous

(if you don't "get" it, don't ask)

Another wind up, I fear. What 's next, a decapitated buffalo's head in your bed?

Mr.Vietnam is still winning though

[Spellbound]

This story just gets better and better,

I can’t wait for your next letter.

Now the family is here to guard your little man,

her brother tries to feel as much as he can.

If this were me, I would of ran, ran, ran,

far away now he’s your new number 1 fan.

We all a wait your new posting this day,

just to find out if her brother is gay.

Your bed you’ve made so you must lay,

and prey tell us how you keep this “brother” at bay.

When you sleep tonight, I suggest not on your back,

this makes it a harder for them feel your pack.

For in your house knives you do not lack,

just in case they come tonight to hack,hack,hack.

While we sleep your little man will get hard,

so tonight I suggest you stay well on your guard.

You’ll feel cold steel and then get marred,

and little pinky thrown in the back yard.

It seems like Sunday is the day of bliss,

so wai to mother and a good-bye kiss.

Should this family make your penis a-miss,

can you tell us all how your gunna a piss.

So my friend I wish you well,

come Sunday and only time will tell.

I ask , can you get over this living helll,

if not half of Bangkok will hear you yell.

? what do you call a collection of male genataila stacked on top of each other ?

A SCROTUM POLE