Advice Needed Urgently

[ratatouille]

Hi guys, pretty new to these forums so I apologise if this topic is in the wrong place.

I am in need of some urgent advice regarding a friend of mine's son. He has been living here with his father who is British, (he is also British) for the last year. In the last month it has become apparent that he is taking class a drugs with some Thai friends. My friend needs to know how he can legally send his son back to the UK to be with his mother. He is 17. His mother is aware of the situation and wants her son back home, away from the circles he is in here. But far from actually forcing him onto a plane is there anything that can be done.

Advice is needed urgently as the situation is getting out of control and I am not sure that my friend can take much more. If you have any questons that will help you answer me as fully as possible please let me know. Thanks in advance.

[smokie36]

Is he at school or working in Thailand or simply doing nothing?

[Bedrockguesthouse]

Get the mom to come to Bangkok and collect him and take him back

[thaifkrlim]

convince him that class a drugs available in the uk are of better grade and higher quality, when he reaches uk, send him to rehabilitation, persuasion is legal

[Mario2008]

The parents determine the place where a child stays, in Thailand the age of becoming an adult is 21. The father has the legal authority to send him home to live with his mother.

He might want to contact the embassy on how to best proceed if the son doesn't want to cooperate. Immigration can revoke someones permission to stay and send him packing. Not living with his father is enough reason for that, using a class A drug is another one.

[dumball]

The parents determine the place where a child stays, in Thailand the age of becoming an adult is 21. The father has the legal authority to send him home to live with his mother.

He might want to contact the embassy on how to best proceed if the son doesn't want to cooperate. Immigration can revoke someones permission to stay and send him packing. Not living with his father is enough reason for that, using a class A drug is another one.

Mario , what you have posted is VERY sound advise to the father concerning his wayward son , who could find himself in some very compromising situation , the action may sound rather severe to the father , but it is often the case that a parent needs to be ultra strict for the safety and wellbeing of a child , some of us refer to this as LOVE . At this time it will most likely not be appreciated by the son , but on reflection in later years , he may grow to realise that to truly love your children is not always an easy thing to do .

[Ulysses G.]

convince him that class a drugs available in the uk are of better grade and higher quality

He may have you prosecuted for perjury.

[Beetlejuice]

The part I don`t understand is, how is the son managing to stay in Thailand?

If his father is supporting him, all he needs to do is stop the support. Another way, the father could threaten to report his son to the police if he refuses to go back to the UK. The be cruel to be kind approach.

So how does the 17 year old manage to stay in Thailand? And who is supporting him?

Without this knowledge, it is diificult to give an answer to the OP. Or is this going to be another troll thread, where the OP is just wasting everyones time.

[ratatouille]

Thank you for the replies, especially to Mario. I am going to speak to my friend and suggest that he do as you suggested. His son was living with his father for the first few months and then got in with the wrong crowd and left home. He does not work although his thai girlfriend does. He has lost at least a stone in weight since then. His father does truly love him but for his safety and wellbeing he thinks it would be better for him to return to the UK until he grows up and sorts himself out.

[mark45y]

Probably not the same kid but I know one 17 year old Brit son about the same age. He took up with bar girls, they support him, give him gold chains and take him around to show their friends like a new doll.

They kid doesn’t pay for anything, he is doing drugs and riding a Honda 150 motorcycle.

In this young mans case as long as his good looks hold up it costs him nothing to stay in Thailand. The girls fight over him nightly. Blond blue eyes.

Can't say I blame him for wanting to stay in Thailand. Think of what it will be like when he goes home.

[Chunky1]

Shipping a 17 year old boy with a drug habit to live with his single mother is not going to solve any of these problems.

[moe666]

I am sorry but is his father so weak that he doesn't know what to do with a minor. I think it is to late for both of them.

[Beetlejuice]

Probably not the same kid but I know one 17 year old Brit son about the same age. He took up with bar girls, they support him, give him gold chains and take him around to show their friends like a new doll.

They kid doesn't pay for anything, he is doing drugs and riding a Honda 150 motorcycle.

In this young mans case as long as his good looks hold up it costs him nothing to stay in Thailand. The girls fight over him nightly. Blond blue eyes.

Can't say I blame him for wanting to stay in Thailand. Think of what it will be like when he goes home.

WHAT! Bar girls actually supporting a FARANG?

This has to be a first and he must be a prime candiate for a mention in the guinness book of records.

[mark45y]

Probably not the same kid but I know one 17 year old Brit son about the same age. He took up with bar girls, they support him, give him gold chains and take him around to show their friends like a new doll.

They kid doesn't pay for anything, he is doing drugs and riding a Honda 150 motorcycle.

In this young mans case as long as his good looks hold up it costs him nothing to stay in Thailand. The girls fight over him nightly. Blond blue eyes.

Can't say I blame him for wanting to stay in Thailand. Think of what it will be like when he goes home.

WHAT! Bar girls actually supporting a FARANG?

This has to be a first and he must be a prime candiate for a mention in the guinness book of records.

Not usual but not that uncommon. I lived in Pattaya for a couple of years. I met three guys. One was a dive instructor, the kid was the second and the third was a guitar player.

I met two of the guys through their girlfriends not from men talking in a bar.

When I lived in Pattaya I only infrequently went to Falang bars.

If you go to Thai clubs you will see what I am talking about.

[F1fanatic]

Shipping a 17 year old boy with a drug habit to live with his single mother is not going to solve any of these problems.

Unfortunately, this is a v good point... It may be easy to score drugs here, it will be far easier at home.

[relentless]

Is he at school or working in Thailand or simply doing nothing?

take him on a field trip to one of the prisons where most are drugs addicts so he can see where he is going soon.

[mark45y]

Suspend your disbelief for a second and read what I have to say. A 17 year old good looking English kid will get mobbed by Thai young women. I watched it nightly because I knew his dad. Drugs were available from every motorcycle taxi driver. The girlfriends and they changed quite frequently bought him drinks at the bar and then took him to a disco after they got off of work.

This kid was walking on a cloud. Can he ever go back to England? He has every teenage boys dream. It is like being a rock star. No, trip to a prison or stern lecture is going to erase what he has experienced in Thailand.

He is messed up. I don’t know if there is an answer. Certainly not one I can think of.

Look at what happens to grown men here?

Imagine what it is like for a boy.

The best advice is never bring an adolescent boy to Thailand.

[GuestHouse]

It's simple - Your friend should do the following.

Take a photo of his son

Print it onto the top of a piece of A4 paper.

Also on the paper print the name and address of his son

Below that print a statement outlining the son's drug use

Let the son read the document

Place the document in an evelope - let the son witness this

Write address the envelope to the local police station - let the son witness this.

Take the son and the envelope to the local post office.

Stick a stamp on the envelope and post it - Let the son witness it being posted.

Hand the son his passport and a one way ticket back home.

[F1fanatic]

It's simple - Your friend should do the following.

Take a photo of his son

Print it onto the top of a piece of A4 paper.

Also on the paper print the name and address of his son

Below that print a statement outlining the son's drug use

Let the son read the document

Place the document in an evelope - let the son witness this

Write address the envelope to the local police station - let the son witness this.

Take the son and the envelope to the local post office.

Stick a stamp on the envelope and post it - Let the son witness it being posted.

Hand the son his passport and a one way ticket back home.

As Chunky1 pointed out - this probably won't help him.

No offense intended, but I suspect your advice would lead to a complete breakdown in the son/father relationship.

[GuestHouse]

No offense intended, but I suspect your advice would lead to a complete breakdown in the son/father relationship.

I suspect that has already happened. Hence the inability to deal with the problem.

[metisdead]

It's simple - Your friend should do the following.

Take a photo of his son

Print it onto the top of a piece of A4 paper.

Also on the paper print the name and address of his son

Below that print a statement outlining the son's drug use

Let the son read the document

Place the document in an evelope - let the son witness this

Write address the envelope to the local police station - let the son witness this.

Take the son and the envelope to the local post office.

Stick a stamp on the envelope and post it - Let the son witness it being posted.

Hand the son his passport and a one way ticket back home.

As Chunky1 pointed out - this probably won't help him.

No offense intended, but I suspect your advice would lead to a complete breakdown in the son/father relationship.

On the other hand, if it came down to it, would it be better for him to be banged up in prison here, or if his mother tried to get him into re-hab back in UK?

OR what about the father trying to put the kid into re-hab here? I believe there is a sponsor on this site?

[F1fanatic]

It's simple - Your friend should do the following.

Take a photo of his son

Print it onto the top of a piece of A4 paper.

Also on the paper print the name and address of his son

Below that print a statement outlining the son's drug use

Let the son read the document

Place the document in an evelope - let the son witness this

Write address the envelope to the local police station - let the son witness this.

Take the son and the envelope to the local post office.

Stick a stamp on the envelope and post it - Let the son witness it being posted.

Hand the son his passport and a one way ticket back home.

As Chunky1 pointed out - this probably won't help him.

No offense intended, but I suspect your advice would lead to a complete breakdown in the son/father relationship.

On the other hand, if it came down to it, would it be better for him to be banged up in prison here, or if his mother tried to get him into re-hab back in UK?

OR what about the father trying to put the kid into re-hab here? I believe there is a sponsor on this site?

But doesn't the child need to agree to re-hab in either country? It doesn't sound as if that's likely.

Sorry, I've no advice, its an awful situation and I can't see a way out. Addicts rarely admit they're addicts (especially when they're young), until they finally realise that they have no life.

Edited August 17, 2010 by F1fanatic

[metisdead]

It's simple - Your friend should do the following.

Take a photo of his son

Print it onto the top of a piece of A4 paper.

Also on the paper print the name and address of his son

Below that print a statement outlining the son's drug use

Let the son read the document

Place the document in an evelope - let the son witness this

Write address the envelope to the local police station - let the son witness this.

Take the son and the envelope to the local post office.

Stick a stamp on the envelope and post it - Let the son witness it being posted.

Hand the son his passport and a one way ticket back home.

As Chunky1 pointed out - this probably won't help him.

No offense intended, but I suspect your advice would lead to a complete breakdown in the son/father relationship.

On the other hand, if it came down to it, would it be better for him to be banged up in prison here, or if his mother tried to get him into re-hab back in UK?

OR what about the father trying to put the kid into re-hab here? I believe there is a sponsor on this site?

But doesn't the child need to agree to re-hab in either country? It doesn't sound as if that's likely.

Sorry, I've no advice, its an awful situation and I can't see a way out. Addicts rarely admit they're addicts (especially when they're young), until they finally realise that they have no life.

I don't know what age it is in the UK where the parents no longer have control over their childrens decisions (age of consent?), I would think that as he is 17, his parents still have say over matters such as this.

[F1fanatic]

Once they're over 16 in the UK, its not easy (if even possible!). Age isn't that important though - the child can always run away once they think they're about to be forced into something they don't want to do.

I know - I've been there.

[ratatouille]

Thank you for the replies, I have told my friend what people have suggested and hope that he will take the advice. His mother wants to send him to rehab in the UK, whilst he is here in the circle of friends he is in there is no way that he wants to help himself get off the drugs. I particularly like Guest House's reply, I think that may work if the British Embassy can not do anything first. His father clearly does not want a damaged relationship with his son and has been soft on him (refusing to believe what is in front of him) for quite a while. He now realises something needs to be done before the situation gets to a point where it is so bad nothing can be done. Hard love seems the only way right now. Thanks again

[F1fanatic]

Thank you for the replies, I have told my friend what people have suggested and hope that he will take the advice. His mother wants to send him to rehab in the UK, whilst he is here in the circle of friends he is in there is no way that he wants to help himself get off the drugs. I particularly like Guest House's reply, I think that may work if the British Embassy can not do anything first. His father clearly does not want a damaged relationship with his son and has been soft on him (refusing to believe what is in front of him) for quite a while. He now realises something needs to be done before the situation gets to a point where it is so bad nothing can be done. Hard love seems the only way right now. Thanks again

I wish him luck. Hard love is the only way, but I suspect it will not be that easy....

[Chunky1]

i would lock him in a room with his leg chained to something metal for however long it takes for the habit to get kicked. then send him home.

[tigerfish]

i would actually try a different approach. try sitting down with the kid and getting him to tell you why he feels like doing such things.

keeping him here or sending him back to the u.k. aint going to change anything unless you get to the route of the problem.

ie the mother is back in the u.k. and the father is out here in thailand. so begs the question are they divorced or separated and hes pissed off about it. after all he is 17 and its an age where a lot of teenagers show their rebellious side. or is it that maybe the father is hooked up with some new girl half his age and hes venting his disapproval by showing the father that if its o.k. for him to do something immoral in his eyes then why not do the same. maybe he didnt even want to come to thailand in the first place and has been pushed from pillar to post. so thought fuc_k it! he would show his displeasure. or maybe hes just a spoilt little shit that never had to do a hards day work in his life and has been aloud to get away with most things in his life.

who knows! only the parents and most of all the kid knows why he wants to go such extreme measures. so until you address these issues, you aint never going to solve the problem. yes he is still a boy, young in most of our eyes, but to him, hes not. so before any rash decisions are made on behalf of the boy, i suggest you advise the father to have a chat with his son and talk to him like hes an adult.he might be surprised and find out something he didnt know, he may even get a result.

Edited August 17, 2010 by tigerfish

[Ulysses G.]

Probably not the same kid but I know one 17 year old Brit son about the same age. He took up with bar girls, they support him, give him gold chains and take him around to show their friends like a new doll.

They kid doesn't pay for anything, he is doing drugs and riding a Honda 150 motorcycle.

In this young mans case as long as his good looks hold up it costs him nothing to stay in Thailand. The girls fight over him nightly. Blond blue eyes.

Can't say I blame him for wanting to stay in Thailand. Think of what it will be like when he goes home.

WHAT! Bar girls actually supporting a FARANG?

This has to be a first and he must be a prime candiate for a mention in the guinness book of records.

I have seen this a number of times.

[mark45y]

It's simple - Your friend should do the following.

Take a photo of his son

Print it onto the top of a piece of A4 paper.

Also on the paper print the name and address of his son

Below that print a statement outlining the son's drug use

Let the son read the document

Place the document in an evelope - let the son witness this

Write address the envelope to the local police station - let the son witness this.

Take the son and the envelope to the local post office.

Stick a stamp on the envelope and post it - Let the son witness it being posted.

Hand the son his passport and a one way ticket back home.

Don’t know about your town but in my town the cops sell the drugs. Might be an unwise move to involve the BIB.