A Thai Guy Who Would Like To Have A Farang Boyfriend

[note133]

I met my old friend who is Thai same as me recently, and we really had a deep conversation. He was like looking for a serious LTR with the right Farang, he did what he could I guess it wasn't good enough. He posted his profile into some gay dating websites, and he though it was free. However, when someone interested in my friend and sent him a message, that when he found out he had to pay in order to read the message or to be connected. He thought he was tricked by the website because it claimed to be 100 percent free. Anyway, he was very upset and he cannot read any messages from the people who interested in him. Because he has no credit card and very simple he cannot afford. My question is If he is looking to have LTR with Farang , I mean a serious relationship not just sex or one night stand , which website will you advise? Do you know any gay dating websites which you don't have to pay in order to be connected. Or especially a website for a Farang who is looking for a Thai or Asian people. Any advices, any suggestions will be appreciated. Thank you and have a nice day

[Pawpcorn]

I personally know that the "tagged' website brings results... and it's free... Good Luck!!!

[orchis]

plenty of free websites around. google/ ask a friend.

[AyG]

A couple of sites spring to mind.

Gaydar (www.gaydar.co.uk) has a reputation for being a place for meeting for casual sex, though it can also be used to find someone for a long term relationship. Your profile needs to make clear what you're looking for (i.e. love, not a casual fling), and if you're Asian you probably need to do the approaching - however difficult that may feel.

The other site is Fridae (www.fridae.com) - though it only seems to work with Internet Explorer.

Both sites are free for basic use (to the best of my knowledge).

[pauleddy]

gayromeo.com and planetromeo.com are free (they are twin sites)

they are busy in Thailand. Caucasians use them too. Some of the Thais on there are semi-escorts.

Gaydar is busy in Europe, but I have never found it busy in Thailand.

Manjam.com has some Thai and farangs in BKK, but I think it's better for Malaysia--but still OK.

Gay.com has a live chatroom in Thailand. At any time, there are 10 or 20 guys on there. It's free but u pay for advanced features.

Silverdaddies.com is free (pay more for features) and is for young want old/old want young. Fairly busy here but busy for USA.

Good luck to "your friend".

Eddy

[note133]

gayromeo.com and planetromeo.com are free (they are twin sites)

they are busy in Thailand. Caucasians use them too. Some of the Thais on there are semi-escorts.

Gaydar is busy in Europe, but I have never found it busy in Thailand.

Manjam.com has some Thai and farangs in BKK, but I think it's better for Malaysia--but still OK.

Gay.com has a live chatroom in Thailand. At any time, there are 10 or 20 guys on there. It's free but u pay for advanced features.

Silverdaddies.com is free (pay more for features) and is for young want old/old want young. Fairly busy here but busy for USA.

Good luck to "your friend".

Eddy

[note133]

Thank you so much everyone especiall Eddy. I really appreciate it. Not only I can help my friend, but I also help myself as well. We were and we are like almost in the same spot. When you hit to the bottom of your life, you will find the courage to do something new and different. And the result could be something that you have been waiting for all your life.

By meeting new people and try something different, may help us to find the exit.

If my friend and I can overcome the difficulties, and be able to settle a new life again.I will never ever for get your help. When someone gives you a hand in the most difficult situation, you will always......always..... always.... remember that hand for a long....long time

Thanks everyone again

[Ijustwannateach]

If your friend is genuine I would suggest that he look for foreigners who are employed in the country and who have demonstrated some engagement with Thailand. They will be difficult to find and probably not the majority of the foreigners on the aforementioned websites. Good luck.

[pauleddy]

If your friend is genuine I would suggest that he look for foreigners who are employed in the country and who have demonstrated some engagement with Thailand. They will be difficult to find and probably not the majority of the foreigners on the aforementioned websites. Good luck.

ye, all rather difficult--or can be in 70pc of cases. Town consists of many cohorts. At the ends of a certain spectrum we have avaricious bar boys in Soi 4 who bum drinks and go to DJ. Their idea is to find a farang who will pay drinks. they will then go back to the guys place and decide 1. whethr to ball the guy amd lift his portable computr later when he is asleep (This happened 3 tines to a frined)---or 2 maybe the mobile. zThese boys are dumb, and the cops get them unless they move on.

zthere is also the long game--the guy meets you a few nights and even buys drinks. zAfter a week he needs money for mothrs tablets, zyou are trusted and a relationship is carded soon.

Another one dear to my heart is the alkie-ligger. he will drag you all over town to opening nights and free booze. He is like a PR man, Eventually, you could feel obliged to pay for drinks. Job done. Maybe sex, maybe not.

The best ones and smoothes are the 4-5 yeerer. they find out that you can 80% keep them and they move in. You pay the condo 33,000b but he is from isaan and gives 6000to hi mom, leaving hin 4,000 for phone cards to chat all day to his sistuhs while you work. You buy hinm a car after 3 yrs and you pay the uncles heart operation. You may not see all if the receipts, because th nasty brothers channel soem away for cards and cheap whisky.

Lets have more? There are but a few.......

Eddy

You are an ATM. Write 100 time during detention

[petergawin]

We are two guys, one Thai and one Farang who have succesfully lived together for 6 years we would be really happy to be your freind's and maybe help you with some dating?? If you want to contact us we will be happy to help as there are many problems you can come across.

Thank you so much everyone especiall Eddy. I really appreciate it. Not only I can help my friend, but I also help myself as well. We were and we are like almost in the same spot. When you hit to the bottom of your life, you will find the courage to do something new and different. And the result could be something that you have been waiting for all your life.

By meeting new people and try something different, may help us to find the exit.

If my friend and I can overcome the difficulties, and be able to settle a new life again.I will never ever for get your help. When someone gives you a hand in the most difficult situation, you will always......always..... always.... remember that hand for a long....long time

Thanks everyone again

[scorecard]

If your friend is genuine I would suggest that he look for foreigners who are employed in the country and who have demonstrated some engagement with Thailand. They will be difficult to find and probably not the majority of the foreigners on the aforementioned websites. Good luck.

Agree with Ijustwannateach, and I'll add a further point.

I've noticed many times that the 'message' from the person looking for a partner (both from Thai people and from western people, both gay and straight) is what I will call a 'one-way' message.

For example:

Mr A writes 'I want someone who will take care of me'.

In other words, Mr A has made no indication whatever that he (Mr A.) wants to love / care for the other person.

I suspect that the 'one-way' message would be a quick 'turn off' for many people who are interested to read these messages.

Further comments very welcome.

[SweatiePie]

There are innumerable places in Thailand where Thais can meet farangs and vice-versa - they don't have to be gay bars or gay web-sites.

99% of those Thais I know who use gay websites are what one poster recently politely described as "commercial", in one way or another - they are looking for financial support, short or long term; in most cases (but certainly not all) this means the maximum input for the minimum output.

On the other hand 99% of those farangs I know who do the same are what are commonly known as "cheap charlies" looking for cheap or, preferably, free sex.

Those who are genuinely the 1% who are exceptions have a 99% chance of being immediately disappointed, without even considering long term compatability.

Get out, get a life, and you may be lucky (whoever you are).

.

[paulfromphuket]

I met my Thai partner on gay romeo but we the chatted for two months on MSN before finally meeting.

We have never looked back I work he works we take care of the home together Don't right off the free contact sites there are some genuine people in there.

And BTW that was three years ago.

Edited October 15, 2010 by paulfromphuket

[JohnLeech]

Given the numbers using the sites, Paul, I think Sweaty's probably got the numbers about right.

When things work out, however they start, there isn't really any way to properly describe the feeling - and I don't knock anyone's background, or how they met, as long as the relationship works for those in it. My Thai partner and I have been together for eight years, and we couldn't be from more different backgrounds.

[Ijustwannateach]

If your friend is genuine I would suggest that he look for foreigners who are employed in the country and who have demonstrated some engagement with Thailand. They will be difficult to find and probably not the majority of the foreigners on the aforementioned websites. Good luck.

Agree with Ijustwannateach, and I'll add a further point.

I've noticed many times that the 'message' from the person looking for a partner (both from Thai people and from western people, both gay and straight) is what I will call a 'one-way' message.

For example:

Mr A writes 'I want someone who will take care of me'.

In other words, Mr A has made no indication whatever that he (Mr A.) wants to love / care for the other person.

I suspect that the 'one-way' message would be a quick 'turn off' for many people who are interested to read these messages.

Further comments very welcome.

I'm afraid that the 'take care of me' phrase is most likely to be code for a Thai expression ('liam du', sorry, don't have Thai characters where I am now) which literally means to take care of but also coloquially means to 'support', as in most likely financially). Frankly speaking, even if it were not financial, and only emotional support (which is also what many younger men are looking for from older partners) I don't find that such an arrangement gives me enough, and I would assume in either case seeing such an ad that the person wasn't a good long term prospect.

[SweatiePie]

Given the numbers using the sites, Paul, I think Sweaty's probably got the numbers about right.

Quite - I wasn't saying its impossible, just unusual.

It would acually be quite interesting to know just how those in long term "cross-cultural" reationships (sorry, I can't think of a better way of putting this) met and how they met any previous Thai partners (or farang partners, if you're Thai).

I have never been to a "gay bar" here, although I have in Hong Kong and the UK, but I meet a lot of farangs socially anyway particularly at receptions and parties. I used to think that most of them were scared of me because I am so openly gay (OK, "flamboyant", JL) until I realised that unless they are particularly well educated and travelled themselves they seem to be frightened of anyone who is, particularly if they are Asian. Conversely I have never met so many farangs who appear to be very consertaive and happily married but who are still firmly locked in the closet, who would never dare go into a gay bar anywhere but who start drooling as soon as we meet and who are desperate for a short fling!

Note133, I can't really help with advice on "a serious LTR with the right Farang" as I've never had one (or wanted one, as distinct from several!) but if you need a shoulder to cry on then drop me a PM (in Thai or English).

[Ijustwannateach]

An off-topic message quoting a moderation PM has been deleted with its responses. I should point out that quoting PM's publicly is pretty much a banning offense. Please be familiar with the rules before posting.

[khunbaobao]

My suggestion to note133's friend would be the same as I'dshare with anyone, anywhere. When it comes to looking for a partner:

1) think about the type of partner you really want (longterm relationship, sex friend, casual open relationship, financial help)

2) think about what YOU can add to the relationship(committed love, salary from your job to share, housekeeping skills, etc)

3) do some research - as note was doing here (ask couplesyou know or meet, search online)

4) be "OK" with yourself (nobody's going to repairyou). If you love yourself, it shows.

5) don't try to force it with each person you meet. When thetime and circumstances are right, it will happen

...and - most importantly - look where you'd be more likelyto find the type of partner you think will meet your needs and wants.

Here's a basic example: if you would have trouble trusting aman to be faithful, I would suggest not approaching regulars in a gay sauna. Ifyou don't drink alcohol and do not want to be with someone who parties a lot,don't hang around the bars looking for a partner. Do some volunteer work with agay organization, join some social groups, let your gay friends know the typeof partner you're looking for.

What I mean is, Gayromeo is probably not a good spot to finda monogamous, long term partners

Edited October 18, 2010 by khunbaobao

[Ijustwannateach]

EXCELLENT advice, KB. Welcome to the forum.

[khunbaobao]

Thank you for the welcome.Between posting something on my own site daily and trying to wade through the nonsense on a few others (some days that takes hip boots) I don't have much time to peruse ThaiVisa - but I'm planning a trip there again soon and am trying to do a couple of NEW things so I'm browsing around for ideas and viewpoints.Back on topic, though - it seems to me that it's going to be somewhat of a trial by fire for a person from an Asian culture to join with a Western one. Certainly there are similarities, but some of the key values I've seen in Asian guys are sadly lacking in the West. Now, once an Asian is Westernized some of that goes out the window! bao-baoMy Thailand blog

Edited October 27, 2010 by khunbaobao

[paulfromphuket]

Given the numbers using the sites, Paul, I think Sweaty's probably got the numbers about right.

Quite - I wasn't saying its impossible, just unusual.

It would acually be quite interesting to know just how those in long term "cross-cultural" reationships (sorry, I can't think of a better way of putting this) met and how they met any previous Thai partners (or farang partners, if you're Thai).

I have never been to a "gay bar" here, although I have in Hong Kong and the UK, but I meet a lot of farangs socially anyway particularly at receptions and parties. I used to think that most of them were scared of me because I am so openly gay (OK, "flamboyant", JL) until I realised that unless they are particularly well educated and travelled themselves they seem to be frightened of anyone who is, particularly if they are Asian. Conversely I have never met so many farangs who appear to be very consertaive and happily married but who are still firmly locked in the closet, who would never dare go into a gay bar anywhere but who start drooling as soon as we meet and who are desperate for a short fling!

Note133, I can't really help with advice on "a serious LTR with the right Farang" as I've never had one (or wanted one, as distinct from several!) but if you need a shoulder to cry on then drop me a PM (in Thai or English).

Just as I said, not impossible and don't right off these sites, don't go and meet that same evening as an example.

Get to know people if your looking for a relationship. With the language issue it's better to talk on line at first even if like my guy thet do speak good english, more can be understood by text.

I had a very good understanding of how my partner thinks after two months on line which is why we met.

Obviously for a kwik shag these sites are good too but I don't use them anymore.