Help Please

[noworries]

Dear friends, I need some help here. I was supposed to go to nakhon phanom to look for my ex-gf that I had broken up with and lost contact with 1 year ago. However, I was not able to travel to Nakhon Phanom to look for her as I was unable to get my Thai-speaking friend to go along with me on that journey. As such, I ended up going to BKK and Pattaya with another friend. As it was our first trip to Pattaya, we had a walk around Walking Street and of course had a look around the massage joints that were there.

This is where the situation turned on its head. At one of the massage joints, I actually saw my ex-gf working at the place. She saw and recognised me and she ran off to take cover in the girls changing / dressing room. I tried to no avail to speak to her. The captain asked her 3 times but she refused to come out to speak to me. I then told the captain to pass her a message that I was going off and that she could come out and continue working. As such, I went out and waited for my friend to finish his round before going off. Well enough of my story telling, to the point now i guess.

I want to help her get out of the situation she is in. I do not know the reason why she is working in this line again (she was a legal pro in SG previously but had already left after 8 months here). I know that things could have changed alot for her from the time we finished up to now, and that is why she is back in this business again. But I want to help her get out of it. I plan to write her a letter and post to my driver / guide in Pattaya and request his help in passing it to the captain at the massage joint and hopefully, to her.

Questions that i have are:

Will she be able to return to SG (if ever at all) after having worked here before as a legal pro?

What can I do to help my case that I'm serious about her and really want to be together with her whether in SG or not?

I really want to be able to talk to her and prove my sincerity. However, this seems to be the only way i have of communicating with her. As such, I would like to maximise this opportunity so I really would appreciate any help or advice that I can get.

Much gratitude in advance.

[TheWorldandI]

I have a similar case with you. I pity my ex and want to help out atleast get her to a stable point. But what the heck you cant teach an old dog a new trick. For the pass couple of months she has been complaining "no money" etc. I send down the money. The complaining is getting too much so I offered her a job she said no money to come to BKK , I sent down the money. New story came up she has to feed the kwai. I said f it send me my books she said send me back what you take from me(see my thread below). I think you will just waste your money and time like I did.

[yabaaaa]

Me too for many years I sent my g'f about 30000 a month and she told me she was helping her Brother in his bar, it came as a big shock to me when i found her still working but I hooked up with one of her friends and now we are married. She still lives in Pattya and isnt working in the bar now, I send her the 30k now and will be visitng her soon this one is a good girl and fortunately her Brother also runs a bar which keeps her busy, she only meets and greets customers.

I sure am glad Im not being taken for a sucker.

[TheWorldandI]

Me too for many years I sent my g'f about 30000 a month and she told me she was helping her Brother in his bar, it came as a big shock to me when i found her still working but I hooked up with one of her friends and now we are married. She still lives in Pattya and isnt working in the bar now, I send her the 30k now and will be visitng her soon this one is a good girl and fortunately her Brother also runs a bar which keeps her busy, she only meets and greets customers.

I sure am glad Im not being taken for a sucker.

being in the same shoe I will hold back my chuckle.

[smokie36]

These bugs just keep mutating and forming new strains of extortion....you have to hand it to them for a light education they make up for in cunning!

[mrdeedee]

now guys are admitting their gf's are bargirls and the like what is going on here?

ps. if she your ex just stay out of her life:rolleyes:

[mrdeedee]

Me too for many years I sent my g'f about 30000 a month and she told me she was helping her Brother in his bar, it came as a big shock to me when i found her still working but I hooked up with one of her friends and now we are married. She still lives in Pattya and isnt working in the bar now, I send her the 30k now and will be visitng her soon this one is a good girl and fortunately her Brother also runs a bar which keeps her busy, she only meets and greets customers.

I sure am glad Im not being taken for a sucker.

how many times have i heard she doesnt go with customers...........im sure every now and then its true:lol: :lol:

[longstebe]

Move on.

[jackr]

Maybe she doesn't want/need helping out. Regardless, why would you want the hassle? How about a nice steady woman in a normal/boring job with no (less) baggage far away from Pattaya?

[BillR]

sad state of affairs when a bar/massage girl won't talk to you.

[TheLaughingMan]

utterly frickin ridiculous... AS PER THE USUAL.

STOP DATING HOOKERS YOU MORONS

[Dakhar]

She ran away, refused to talk to you (OP)

I'd say she does not want your help, end of story....

I am not sure if u noticed, but there are thousands of girls in the same situation...

If being "charitable" does it for you... you can deposit money in my bank account

[mahtin]

Is this thread reserved for trolls or can anybody play?

[robblok]

Me too for many years I sent my g'f about 30000 a month and she told me she was helping her Brother in his bar, it came as a big shock to me when i found her still working but I hooked up with one of her friends and now we are married. She still lives in Pattya and isnt working in the bar now, I send her the 30k now and will be visitng her soon this one is a good girl and fortunately her Brother also runs a bar which keeps her busy, she only meets and greets customers.

I sure am glad Im not being taken for a sucker.

Im sure that is not your story although not the one you told here before. But there are guys enough who think that their bar girl only greets and meets customers.. but the girl forgets to say she meets them in bed.

[mrdeedee]

Maybe she doesn't want/need helping out. Regardless, why would you want the hassle? How about a nice steady woman in a normal/boring job with no (less) baggage far away from Pattaya?

i doubt a nice steady women wants dealings with a sex tourist:lol: :lol: ..

[Lammbock]

To the OP:

Leave your fingers off. Go on with your life. I can see from here that it will not be a happy end for you.

[techno]

Just move on and forget her. She does not need your help as she is enjoying her job. Plenty of other girls around who would appreciate your help

[spud1]

I,d say go save her from her life of immorality,it's obvious that's what she wants.You will then be spared a place in heaven.

[SiangDeeMahk]

boys.. Boys.. BOYS!!!!!

::::::shakes his head, and mutters: jeez.. not another thread about a heartbroken Farang and his missing sexworker??::::::

Listen, and try to get this through your fat western heads, my brothers:

THESE ARE PROSTITUTES.

I'm sorry, but THAT'S what they ARE!

They <removed> for MONEY. That's ALL they do. They don't CARE about you, or LOVE you. They CANNOT, and WILL NOT ever be fair, kind, equal, honest, or truly loving, in any way, other than in a show/performance DESIGNED to get you to part with MORE MONEY. Nearly ALL OF THEM will never be anything other than a mechanism that lives to get money for f_cking.

They have a single daily cycle: They <removed>, they get money, they spend it on beauty treatments, surgical body enhancements, designer drugs, mobiles, tattoos, send some home to the family, and then go get primped and polished in order to hook more men, for more money; and the cycle continues. Most of them have no other means, no other skills, and no other options. Some of them may already (or soon will) despise the cycle, but be unable to escape it. Others will happily ride it straight to an untimely death. (And a precious few will actually get out in a timely fashion, and go on to other hopefully better things). But for sure, while they're hookers, they will never be truthful, trustworthy, or loyal. It's simply not in their mandate, to do that. Because doing those things doesn't serve to reap the greatest possible amount of money from men (and that's the straight and true job description of a whore), so STOP EXPECTING THEM TO DO THOSE THINGS.

They're HOOKERS. You should really just accept the fact that you are not any more special to (ANY of) them, than ANY OTHER MAN who also has money in his pocket. I know it's difficult to accept this, cause it feels SO GOOD when a really sexy younger girl seems to like you, and enjoy your company, your body, laughing at all your jokes, and having "incredible" sex with you. I bet you believe that you're the only customer that she orgasms (or ever orgasmed) for, huh?? (even though it's always faked, for every customer), and I bet she smiles a lot, too (don't tell me you don't understand the wildly varying kinds of smiles in the LOS?)

But, here's the TRUTH: She's not letting you touch her cause she likes you. I'm sorry; she's NOT. It's all just a show. She's ONLY overlooking the fact that a stranger is repulsively touching her beautiful private parts, because she's getting many times MORE cash to overlook it, than she would be if she was working in an office, or a 7-11. She's just delivering the redlight service you're paying her to deliver. (That is, unless you leave her alone with your wallet in view as you shower, only to find she's cleaned it out and split by the time you get out of the shower)

They don't love you, they're never going to love you. They will never speak the truth, or truly be loyal to you. Maybe to their out-of-sight drunk/addict abusive Thai BF or husband, ALWAYS to their shameless Thai family (who quite often pimped them out, in the first place), but NEVER to you.

Stop this pathetic lovesick madness.. They are WORKING GIRLS. They're performing a service for monetary compensation. Just the same way that YOU do, when you go to YOUR job. Don't tell me you've never had a job that required you to show some forced, fake enthusiasm?? Is it really so hard to believe that's exactly what she's doing to you??

They're sexworkers, folks. You PAY them, you <removed> them; business is now complete? You LEAVE them.

I'll draw you a further analogy:

Hookers are like Roller Coasters.

You buy a ticket to ride, (and of course, the faster, newer and more exciting the coaster; the higher the price of the ticktet), and you go sit in the front seats and strap some protection onto your body (to avoid ending up with temporary or permenant damage to it). As the first car seductively ramps up the excitment (as it climbs up the hill), you become breathless and giddy with anticipation of the extacy and pleasure you're about to experience as it teases you the whole way up. And then.. it launches wildly from the top! And as it goes through it's rythmic spins, dips, loops and thrilling ups and downs, you hang on for dear life and totally enjoy it, and since there's no one in front of you, you get to feel like the coaster is running JUST FOR YOU, and gosh, doesn't that make you feel SPECIAL?! Then, after the RIDE IS DONE, you GET OFF, and WALK AWAY, to rid yourself of the dizzyness, and to return to a normal state. No one stays either seated in the coaster, or standing on the plattform, in the hopes of driving one of the funny little cars off the crazy rails, and onto the highway to get back home with it.

You DON'T BRING ROLLER COASTERS HOME.. GET IT???

Now, don't get me wrong.. I'm not passing judgment on working girls; they just do what they do, and I'm not criticizing that. I'm not even against men using their services. I think it's a perfectly equitable business, and that any person should be free to choose what is it they do or don't do with their own (or their customer's) bodies. Additionally, my comments go for working girls ANYWHERE in the world.. (though, the Thai ones are certainly some of the best schemers and liars (aka: actresses) in the world).

I just get bent all to pieces when stiff-dicked, hormone-blinded, spineless sods try to say it's LOVE. Enough with that crap already.

They're whores (cause that's their JOB!); They don't REALLY love (or even like) you. So stop thinking that they do.

PERIOD. End of story.

Specifically, to the OP:

I'm confused.. you're still so desperately in love with your ex, that just cause your Thai-speaking buddy wouldn't travel with you, you ABANDONED YOUR ENTIRE RECOVERY EXPEDITION TO FIND HER, for a trip to Pattaya, instead??

Let me tell, you; That's some special kind of Effed up love, my brother.

If I was you, and I really DID love her, I'd have hired a translator/private tourguide, and gone straight to Nakhon Phanom (and STAYED THERE) until I found her. I could understand if you'd gone there, and after searching for a month or 2, or 3, you couldn't find her... (and then after hiring a private investigator; even HE couldn't find her), you had decided to just move on with your life.. But you didn't even TRY to go find her!!

I don't think you really wanted to get back with her. I think, instead of writing a letter to her, you should write one to yourself, and ask yourself, honestly, if you really wanted to get back with her, or if you just started feeling bad once you saw her again (in a non-flattering return to a less-than-savory career choice). Additionally, how can you really "show her sincerity" in a letter, when you only found her because you hadn't even BOTHERED to actually go to look for her where she was supposed to be (in Nakhon Phanom), but instead, were cruising "happy ending shops" in Pattaya?? That ought to really impress her.

You referred to your ex as now being a "legal pro". You said that you re-discovered her working in a massage shop? Let me address several issues that brings to my mind.

1) There is no such thing as a "legal professional prostitute". Prostitution is ILLEGAL in Thailand, and (as far as I know, in any Asian or Middle-Eastern country, and in most western countries as well)

2) I do differentiate between a licensed/accredited massage therapist (especially if they're working in a high end Spa, Hotel, or religiously significant health/massage center like Wat Po), and some amateur (but pretty) 18 year old giving hand jobs under the camouflage of a "Proper (yet actually sleazy) Massage Shop". The real therapist isn't a sexworker. That being said, I make a much wider and greater differentiation between massage girls that may occasionally perform a firm-handed happy ending, and CAREER LBFMs, that cheat, lie, steal, and predatorily <removed> men for cash (often, several a night), with no limits, and zero scruples.

Although I still consider them both to be sexworkers (for performing sexual acts on a stranger for money), I do think that the massage girl can (if she desires to), fully, and successfully shed that line of work, and then (fully free from that emotional poison), go on to have perfectly normal, healthy, honest, and balanced relationships afterwards. I do not, and will NEVER believe that career hardcore prostitutes can ever "move on" completely from that vocation; to have normal, healthy committed relationships. I can only see them as now having an unnatural mental link between their genitals and cash, instead of a natural one between their genitals and love.

I don't think the hooker's typical "money<-->genitals" link is easily broken (once firmly enmeshed in the mind of a hardcore sexworker). And consequentially, I think the creation and longstanding existence of that link prohibits those girls from being able to truly love, cherish, honor or respect ANY MAN who makes overtures to get into her pants (even the ones who may actually love her, and only desire intimacy with her, in the name of love).

It seems to me, that with most hardcore prostitutes, the link lasts forever. Even after the hooking days are long over. That's my continuing observation, based on my knowing some older Thai women, (that I am reasonably sure were former sexworkers via their fairly obvious mannerisms, alcoholism, bargirl-English, low education, and frequently inexplicable secretive behavior), who also seem quite clearly in their current relationship only for the bounty it brings them (and demonstratively do NOT love their S/O's)

Back to the OP's question for help: Since I don't know what kind of massage shop your ex was working at (or how full the "full service treatments" really are there), I can't say if she's "recoverable" from this relapse to (a possibly minor corner of) the sex industry, or not. The only other thing I'll say is, if she ran and hid from you, and absolutely REFUSED, at length, on repeated attempts, to come out and face you, talk to you, or talk to a mediator between the two of you.. I'd say things don't look good for you and her.

I know those of you who have ended up coupling with (or marrying), former prostitutes are going to flame me hard, but I'll still stand by my statement; that if the serious , and you were unable or unwilling to continue to provide whatever it was that originally tore these former hookers away from a life of easy cash to be with you, 90% of them would end up going back to it, in one form or another. Possible exceptions could include ladies now 30+ years out of the sex business, with serious involvement in some other viable business that takes its place...?

Just my slightly generalized opinion. But I calls it like I sees it.

[MrRichard2009]

Funny post man ...... I think I am in the minority though when I say I agree ! lol

[sillyman99]

Funny post man ...... I think I am in the minority though when I say I agree ! lol

I wanna know how he got all of his information.

Edited September 6, 2010 by sillyman99

[Westerner]

SiangDeeMahk, Brilliant post and absolutely spot-on !

[welsh1]

Just move on and forget her. She does not need your help as she is enjoying her job. Plenty of other girls around who would appreciate your help

Maybe she already as a few other falangs already helping her,,,.and with the extra money she makes massaging she dont need any extra help.

[SiangDeeMahk]

Funny post man ...... I think I am in the minority though when I say I agree ! lol

I wanna know how he got all of his information.

Well, frankly?

After bi/tri-annually traveling to (and eventually living for extended periods of time @ my apartment in) Bangkok for nearly the last 6 years,

(and reading TV and other Thai -related news & forums for basically the same period),

and having a monogamous, committed relationship with (an AMAZINGLY CUTE) Thai national,

it turns out that even though she isn't and has never been a sexworker (but has a career that sometimes brings her into proximity with some of them),

it's really not that difficult to make simple, accurate observations of what's going on around me.

Especially with something as obvious and omni-present as the ubiquitous sex industry, in Bangkok/Pattaya/Phuket, Thailand.

Furthermore, as to your barely veiled insinuations, I put it to YOU, sir:

Does even a utterly mediocre reporter have to fire a handgun into his own brain, in order to accurately compose a story detailing the events that took place at a (occasionally startling, and rather messy) game of Russian Roulette??

How about marine biologists? Do they actually have to be bitten (or perhaps, eaten completely) by sharks themselves, in order to compile accurate statistics regarding the frequency of great white shark attacks at the great barrier reef in Australia?

And what about Police Detectives? Do they have to actually be former criminals charged, convicted and incarcerated for Grand Larceny, in order for them to deduce who it was who robbed a bank????

Mmm.

Ah-ha.

Right.

Exactly.

::::game-clock says: BZZZT!:::: Ok, and thats all the time we have for this game! Sorry you didn't win, but come back and try again sometime!

[thaimate]

Me too for many years I sent my g'f about 30000 a month and she told me she was helping her Brother in his bar, it came as a big shock to me when i found her still working but I hooked up with one of her friends and now we are married. She still lives in Pattya and isnt working in the bar now, I send her the 30k now and will be visitng her soon this one is a good girl and fortunately her Brother also runs a bar which keeps her busy, she only meets and greets customers.

I sure am glad Im not being taken for a sucker.

I know this girl I am sure and you are right she does not go with customers from her bar ,however when she is in the bar next door

[loong]

What's a legal Pro in SG??

[spud1]

SDM, how long have you been waiting for a chance to give us all your sermon.Praise the lord the saviour is here.

Edited September 6, 2010 by spud1

[sillyman99]

Just move on and forget her. She does not need your help as she is enjoying her job. Plenty of other girls around who would appreciate your help

Maybe she already as a few other falangs already helping her,,,.and with the extra money she makes massaging she dont need any extra help.

I think it's great that so many Farangs are so generous to Thai women, spread the wealth around, good luck to the women, from the state of many of the Farangs I see with Thai women, they deserve a Medal for sticking it out, payment or no payment.

I think most of the ardent negative posts come from jealous, poorer Farangs who wish that someone would send them a few extra Baht per month.

You guys want a pension plan and as much money as you can get for your old age right ?

So why should Thai people be any different, and if I could have amassed a small fortune by shagging old ladies for money, believe me, I would have done it.

Lets put it this way, how many guys here would have liked to be a porn star when they were young, making money from sex ?

C'mon guys, be honest, most of you would have done it for free, so don't be so hard on people who do whatever it takes to get by, you, like me, are fortunate in life, we have lived in different circumstances to many.

Was your mother walking 20Kms to get clean water to drink so you never died, no, of course not, but many many people live this way in the world, and if some African Nations had women as attractive as Thai women are, they too would be full of western sex tourists complaining about how the women only want their money, but thats why the western men are there in first place ain't it !!!!!

I know many western women who work in Tokyo as hostess workers, they come from affluent countries, yet can make a fortune in the nightlife scene in Japan, good luck to them also.

So many Men are willing to put working women down, yet if the roles were reversed, how many Men would be taking women for every $ they could get ?

Men are willing to pay for sex, women know this, ugly girls can have sex by just hanging out in a Pub or club, guaranteed that if she wants sex, she'll get it, and she won't pay either, plus get free drinks.

Ugly men don't have that same luxury, so they have to pay money for sex and no free drinks, that's what pisses men off so much.

Edited September 6, 2010 by sillyman99

[sillyman99]

What's a legal Pro in SG??

Qualified Lawyer ?

[MrRichard2009]

Ok well what is "SG" ?