Living In A Village Advise Please

[Khutan]

<snip>I have heard stories of cross border bandit raids - is this an issue in your village?<snip>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You hear of the odd drunk and drug dealer stumbling around somewhere, the police round them up very quickly.

On the brighter side, when its good, its really good. You can wander around the village, sit down with almost anyone and have a drink. Its very relaxing, and a great place.

We had a BBQ pig a month or so ago, I purchased the bigger one simply because I knew "Friends" would turn up. I calculated it would take about 14 hours to cook the pig (stuffed with apples and chickens). A few of the neighbours volunteered to turn the pig all night and keep the charchol at the correct heat. Sure they joined in, and I gave the a 6-pack of Lao_kao, but it was a very nice thing.

I suppose to summarise, the people are nice, but by my standard they are totally indifferent. The other problem is what is polite in Central Thailand may not be polite in the deep reaches of Issan.

So yes I put up with all the down side, because the up side is so good.

[WhiteShiva]

When you marry a Thai girl, especially from Isaan, you get the family too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here here Derek, some people seem to forget this fact of marrying a Thai girl.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Forget it at at your peril!

It is the most important thing to REMEMBER!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dunno if I neccessarily agree with this much quoted myth. My wife is from a small village just outside Khorat, and most of her family (parents included) live there. She and her sister (also living in bangkok) helps them out with a few thousand bath a month, occasionally more (hospital visits, etc), but she has put her foot down several times over what she considers unreasonable demands. She has also told relatives that I don't make much money ( ), and is actually quite protective of me.

Sure, her family is important to her, but not to the extent that it leaves me behind in any way. The same goes for me and my family, half a world away. She feels a duty towards her parents and her grandmother, but that is as far as it goes. No handouts to distant relatives, and a modest (but quite adequate) allowance to her parents.

To belive that you have a duty to support the extended family, or to cater for your in-laws every wish is horse manure - it has nothing to do with culture, and I doubt very much if any Thai man would have accepted it. So why do you?

[daleyboy]

When you marry a Thai girl, especially from Isaan, you get the family too.

Here here Derek, some people seem to forget this fact of marrying a Thai girl.

Forget it at at your peril!

It is the most important thing to REMEMBER!

Dunno if I neccessarily agree with this much quoted myth. My wife is from a small village just outside Khorat, and most of her family (parents included) live there. She and her sister (also living in bangkok) helps them out with a few thousand bath a month, occasionally more (hospital visits, etc), but she has put her foot down several times over what she considers unreasonable demands. She has also told relatives that I don't make much money ( ), and is actually quite protective of me.

Sure, her family is important to her, but not to the extent that it leaves me behind in any way. The same goes for me and my family, half a world away. She feels a duty towards her parents and her grandmother, but that is as far as it goes. No handouts to distant relatives, and a modest (but quite adequate) allowance to her parents.

To belive that you have a duty to support the extended family, or to cater for your in-laws every wish is horse manure - it has nothing to do with culture, and I doubt very much if any Thai man would have accepted it. So why do you?

I dont believe i mentioned anything about supporting extended family My wife and i help support her mother and father, because they look after my step daughter. I also think you will find Thai men DO help support the family, maybe not to the extent of a farang but then they dont have as much money.

Just glad i dont have you as an in-law. You might not be rich as i am not rich but i dont see what is wrong with helping support your family. And it is YOUR family as well.

[ray23]

I'm still looking for a tall, skinny orphan.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I got a short skinny orpahn highly recommend it LOL

[pnustedt]

I also think you will find Thai men DO help support the family, maybe not to the extent of a farang but then they dont have as much money.

Certainly, three men in my wife's family (brother, and two bro's-in-law) do what they can to help support the family. They all live in close proximity. Likwise, my wife's bro. would do what he could to help support his wife's family (I reckon that's where some of my fridge contents disappear to ).

Another bro. who moved away doesn't do much to help tho.

[WhiteShiva]

When you marry a Thai girl, especially from Isaan, you get the family too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here here Derek, some people seem to forget this fact of marrying a Thai girl.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Forget it at at your peril!

It is the most important thing to REMEMBER!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dunno if I neccessarily agree with this much quoted myth. My wife is from a small village just outside Khorat, and most of her family (parents included) live there. She and her sister (also living in bangkok) helps them out with a few thousand bath a month, occasionally more (hospital visits, etc), but she has put her foot down several times over what she considers unreasonable demands. She has also told relatives that I don't make much money ( ), and is actually quite protective of me.

Sure, her family is important to her, but not to the extent that it leaves me behind in any way. The same goes for me and my family, half a world away. She feels a duty towards her parents and her grandmother, but that is as far as it goes. No handouts to distant relatives, and a modest (but quite adequate) allowance to her parents.

To belive that you have a duty to support the extended family, or to cater for your in-laws every wish is horse manure - it has nothing to do with culture, and I doubt very much if any Thai man would have accepted it. So why do you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I dont believe i mentioned anything about supporting extended family My wife and i help support her mother and father, because they look after my step daughter. I also think you will find Thai men DO help support the family, maybe not to the extent of a farang but then they dont have as much money.

Just glad i dont have you as an in-law. You might not be rich as i am not rich but i dont see what is wrong with helping support your family. And it is YOUR family as well.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you had bothered to read my posting properly, you would have noticed that we do in fact help support the family.

My point is that there is a big difference between helping to support and basically opening your wallet to the whole village (which is seems some people are doing). My wife's parents are in their mid fifties, and neither of them work, nor do they want to. Ditto for most of the other villagers. So while I have no problem with my wife and her sister sending them a few thousand baht a month each to support them (and help out in case of emergencies), I think that is enough. As do my wife. And her sister.

I am reasonably well off, thanks to hard work, but see no need to throw money away. Also, I intend to support my kids until they have finished whatever education they want, and want to have enough left over for me and my wife to avoid being a burden to them later.

Do I want to jeopardize my children’s education or my retirement to support a luxurious lifestyle for people who are to &lt;deleted&gt;' lazy to support themselves? No way!! Am I willing to help them live a reasonably comfortable life as long as it keeps them from pestering my wife with requests? - Yes.

However, I am blessed inasmuch as I don't have to make these decisions - my wife has got the whole shebang under control. That's one of the reasons I married her - she is real tough when she has to!

As for what Thai men do? - lets ask them - there are a few on this forum. Come on guys - what do you do? Heng?

[Sir Burr]

To belive that you have a duty to support the extended family, or to cater for your in-laws every wish is horse manure - it has nothing to do with culture, and I doubt very much if any Thai man would have accepted it.  So why do you?

Spot on Whiteshiva.

We give my wife's parents a small allowance every month. Unless there is an absolute emergency nobody else from the family gets a thing. If there are any requests, we look at them on a case by case basis and 99.9% of them get turned down. We work hard for our money and bludgers are not tolerated.

I remember being told that it was my "duty" to support the family by someone. When I asked if members of my wife's family would be willing to send money to my parents back in the UK, they looked at me as if I was from another planet.

[Nam Kao]

Sir Burr your a smart man

>>>I remember being told that it was my "duty" to support the family by someone. When I asked if members of my wife's family would be willing to send money to my parents back in the UK, they looked at me as if I was from another planet.

Soi Falang is a one way street

Edited July 25, 2005 by Nam Kao

[pnustedt]

>>>I remember being told that it was my "duty" to support the family by someone. When I asked if members of my wife's family would be willing to send money to my parents back in the UK, they looked at me as if I was from another planet.

My father is in his 80s but still runs his own business in UK employing 20+ employees, makes xxmill$ p.a. - my mum-in-law also in her 80s, head of a family producing rice, mangos, etc. I am sure that if ever my parents were hungry they would be suffocated by a deluge of mangos and rice

[jrincon17]

My T/W and I live C/M but have bought extra land and are having plans drafted to build in the T/W,s village in Northern Esaan. We visit there regularly and find the people and relly,s pretty friendly but now my mate who has lived in a similar village for 3 years is giving me the big "DONT DO IT".

It seems that all went ok for a period but now he is expected to be the benefactor of the whole village, he supports hisT/W and her extended family (up to 18 mouths) but now its at the point where villagers just turn up, have a chat with his family and walk out with bags of food etc then the wife hits him up for cash to restock their own larder.

He buys green feed for their cows and the brother in laws go in the truck to collect it but it comes back 1/2 empty, the excuse, man in village no have grass for his cows so we give. His tractor,motor bike, slasher are all missing, lent out to villagers and invariably come back wrecked with no offer of repair,when he fronts his T/W about these things she says Thai people give from heart no expect them to fix,we have them have not. They live in the family house so his hands are tied a bit.

Now I am a pretty charitable bloke and dont mind helping in emergencies but I consider my home and property my castle.The new home will be in my name on land leased from my wife and she understands (I hope)that it will not be an "open house" 24/7 as I want some privacy.

Now can I expect my situation to evolve into a similar predicament as my mates or is his case a "one off" ???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[/quote

If she truly loves you she will undestand what you tell her and abide by your thoughts. Yes you can help the family but only when you can not a monthly allowance but when you can . Just protect what is yours DONT LET PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU

[mcfester]

To the guys that want to build huge walls around their houses.....Thai society especially in villages is an open house society...people will drop by all the time, (not always to bludge food, drink or money) By building the physical barriers you are also building social barriers...you are isolating yourself and telling the villagers that you dont want to be a part of their society. That is when the problems start.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not quite so, when I built a wooded fence around our house/land to keep the dogs/chickens and Thais out others followed suit and built the same.

The problem was the Thais used our land as a passage way through to the other side of the village, driving through on motorbikes etc, because of this no grass would grow. Now a lot of the houses have got nice gardens and plants around as before they only had bare land full of rubbish.

Now we've got a brick wall, full height at sides and back and half height at front, people still come round, we don't give out freebies but we share food etc, if the mother in law goes baby bamboo hunting up the hills she shares it, a few days later some poeple will come round and give us fish etc.

Just because you have a wall doesn't mean you are isolating yourself and telling the villagers that you dont want to be a part of their society. You might be telling them that you don't want them in your house, which is the case with me, I've got a lot of expensive stuff in my house and I don't want every tom dick and harry walking in, once an old lady just walked straight into the house, nobody knew her or what village she was from, I ushered her out and made it clear to her and all the rest of the people in hearing distance not to just walk in someones house, obviously the neighbours where shocked but when my wife explained to them that nobody knows this lady (she was from up north and came south selling stuff) and that she might be casing houses for her family to rob they all understood, especially as there had been a number of breakins at the time.

Now i've got a dog thats trained to attack on the word KILL , nobody just walks through our land anymore but when I walk around the village people give me just the same respect/greetings as before we had any walls or killer dogs.

Village life is great but you have to be firm, once they understand you they give you just as much respect, and most will learn from you and follow suit, as has happened in our village.

[Khutan]

As you can see from the photos I posted before, Barbed wire and bamboo works well. It is a partial visual barrier, but a full physical barrier for chickens and buffalo's

[Nam Kao]

I was out on my motorcy driving deep into the boon docks. I checked my watch

and it was 10am so I think, Time for a chang. So I see this broken down place

(most of the homes in this area are shacks) with beer signs and some tables. I pull

in and no one is outside except for this 50ish Thai guy. I walk in and he looks at

me funny as i sit down. I said "Pee Pee Beer Chang". He looks at me wierd and

I say "No chang? Beer Sing?". So he goes inside and comes out with a Chang

and gives it to me. I ask "You have food?" motioning like i am eating with a fork.

I ask "you have menu"?. He looks at me strange again and i am thinking "Maybe

this guy dont like falang". Anyways he disappears for 10 minutes and returns with

a plate of food and i wolf it down and ask for more beer. I had one more and

asked where is your loo?. He points inside the shack. OK now time to leave I

motion like i am asking for a bill? He looks blankly at me. I pull out money

and try to give him but he motions no i dont want. I am thinking "Did i cross

over into Laos or something. I nervously left 200bt on the table waved goodbye and

took off.

A couple weeks later I am out riding with a thai neighbor and we stop at the

same place. Same guy is outside. I ask for Chang. The guy speaks thai

with my neighbor. My neighbor comes over to me and explains "This not

restaurant or bar, THIS IS HIS HOUSE.

[Darkling]

Money lending.   Not prostitution.

Sorry, misunderstood your area of expertese

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Quite a mistake to make! !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Prostitution is money giving isn`t it?

[dereklev]

I was out on my motorcy driving deep into the boon docks. I checked my watch

and it was 10am so I think, Time for a chang. So I see this broken down place

(most of the homes in this area are shacks) with beer signs and some tables. I pull

in and no one is outside except for this 50ish Thai guy. I walk in and he looks at

me funny as i sit down. I said "Pee Pee Beer Chang". He looks at me wierd and

I say "No chang? Beer Sing?". So he goes inside and comes out with a Chang

and gives it to me. I ask "You have food?" motioning like i am eating with a fork.

I ask "you have menu"?. He looks at me strange again and i am thinking "Maybe

this guy dont like falang". Anyways he disappears for 10 minutes and returns with

a plate of food and i wolf it down and ask for more beer. I had one more and

asked where is your loo?. He points inside the shack. OK now time to leave I

motion like i am asking for a bill? He looks blankly at me. I pull out money

and try to give him but he motions no i dont want. I am thinking "Did i cross

over into Laos or something. I nervously left 200bt on the table waved goodbye and

took off.

A couple weeks later I am out riding with a thai neighbor and we stop at the

same place. Same guy is outside. I ask for Chang.  The guy speaks thai

with my neighbor. My neighbor comes over to me and explains "This not

restaurant or bar, THIS IS HIS HOUSE.

Now that is funny! !

[Darkling]

I'm still looking for a tall, skinny orphan.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Darkling]

I was out on my motorcy driving deep into the boon docks. I checked my watch

and it was 10am so I think, Time for a chang. So I see this broken down place

(most of the homes in this area are shacks) with beer signs and some tables. I pull

in and no one is outside except for this 50ish Thai guy. I walk in and he looks at

me funny as i sit down. I said "Pee Pee Beer Chang". He looks at me wierd and

I say "No chang? Beer Sing?". So he goes inside and comes out with a Chang

and gives it to me. I ask "You have food?" motioning like i am eating with a fork.

I ask "you have menu"?. He looks at me strange again and i am thinking "Maybe

this guy dont like falang". Anyways he disappears for 10 minutes and returns with

a plate of food and i wolf it down and ask for more beer. I had one more and

asked where is your loo?. He points inside the shack. OK now time to leave I

motion like i am asking for a bill? He looks blankly at me. I pull out money

and try to give him but he motions no i dont want. I am thinking "Did i cross

over into Laos or something. I nervously left 200bt on the table waved goodbye and

took off.

A couple weeks later I am out riding with a thai neighbor and we stop at the

same place. Same guy is outside. I ask for Chang.  The guy speaks thai

with my neighbor. My neighbor comes over to me and explains "This not

restaurant or bar, THIS IS HIS HOUSE.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nam Kao

Thats a brill story, made me laugh. I just love this forum.

[bino]

I was out on my motorcy driving deep into the boon docks. I checked my watch

and it was 10am so I think, Time for a chang. So I see this broken down place

(most of the homes in this area are shacks) with beer signs and some tables. I pull

in and no one is outside except for this 50ish Thai guy. I walk in and he looks at

me funny as i sit down. I said "Pee Pee Beer Chang". He looks at me wierd and

I say "No chang? Beer Sing?". So he goes inside and comes out with a Chang

and gives it to me. I ask "You have food?" motioning like i am eating with a fork.

I ask "you have menu"?. He looks at me strange again and i am thinking "Maybe

this guy dont like falang". Anyways he disappears for 10 minutes and returns with

a plate of food and i wolf it down and ask for more beer. I had one more and

asked where is your loo?. He points inside the shack. OK now time to leave I

motion like i am asking for a bill? He looks blankly at me. I pull out money

and try to give him but he motions no i dont want. I am thinking "Did i cross

over into Laos or something. I nervously left 200bt on the table waved goodbye and

took off.

A couple weeks later I am out riding with a thai neighbor and we stop at the

same place. Same guy is outside. I ask for Chang.  The guy speaks thai

with my neighbor. My neighbor comes over to me and explains "This not

restaurant or bar, THIS IS HIS HOUSE.

Very funny indeed!! Made me laugh out loud! So loud that I woke up the GF, and had to explain what is so funny. She thoought it was pretty funny too!

Edited July 25, 2005 by bino

[ray23]

I was out on my motorcy driving deep into the boon docks. I checked my watch

and it was 10am so I think, Time for a chang. So I see this broken down place

(most of the homes in this area are shacks) with beer signs and some tables. I pull

in and no one is outside except for this 50ish Thai guy. I walk in and he looks at

me funny as i sit down. I said "Pee Pee Beer Chang". He looks at me wierd and

I say "No chang? Beer Sing?". So he goes inside and comes out with a Chang

and gives it to me. I ask "You have food?" motioning like i am eating with a fork.

I ask "you have menu"?. He looks at me strange again and i am thinking "Maybe

this guy dont like falang". Anyways he disappears for 10 minutes and returns with

a plate of food and i wolf it down and ask for more beer. I had one more and

asked where is your loo?. He points inside the shack. OK now time to leave I

motion like i am asking for a bill? He looks blankly at me. I pull out money

and try to give him but he motions no i dont want. I am thinking "Did i cross

over into Laos or something. I nervously left 200bt on the table waved goodbye and

took off.

A couple weeks later I am out riding with a thai neighbor and we stop at the

same place. Same guy is outside. I ask for Chang.  The guy speaks thai

with my neighbor. My neighbor comes over to me and explains "This not

restaurant or bar, THIS IS HIS HOUSE.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Now that is funny! !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That is just village rides and why I love it so much, you will get adventures you never dreamed of this has to be the best I have seen.

[loong]

Nam Kao

Funny story , but is it really true?

Yes, anyone will always feed you, in fact many would miss a meal in able to feed you.

But you stumbled across a Thai villager with not only 1 but TWO Beer Changs in his fridge? Never been seen before.

Maybe he went next door to the Farang neighbour's fridge

[Dragonman]

Nam Kao

Funny story  , but is it really true?

Yes, anyone will always feed you, in fact many would miss a meal in able to feed you.

But you stumbled across a Thai villager with not only 1 but TWO Beer Changs in his fridge? Never been seen before.

Maybe he went next door to the Farang neighbour's fridge

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So this is what keeps happening to my beer. I thought I couldn't drink that many

[bannork]

I sort of half and half agree with this, it does help at least initially if you wife/GF is your first line of defence, you should try however IMHO try to swich that to yourself as soon as you can, if anyone wants anything here my wife just tells them to come and ask me. It saves her having to try and make excuses and most of the time they wont even bother to ask me. You wont get much respect out of Thai men by being seen to be your wifes puppet.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ram,

That would depend on whether you could speak Thai and the local dialect may be different again. I wonder how many falang's whould attempt to live in a small village with little Thai language skills?

Cheers BaanOz

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes mate you are right, thats why I said " it does help at least initially if you wife/GF is your first line of defence" because in this initial period most people are unliklely to speak much Thai. I firmly belive however anyone considering moving to live in a Thai village should make some effort to learn some thai before going there and then continue to pick it up as you go along.

I certainly could'nt speak much thai when I came to live here(in the village). I'd only been in the country about 3 months before moving up, but once the decision was made I enroled for a months worth of thai classes, 1 hour a day one on one lessons and I even did my homework!! It was only a couple of thousand Bhat, probably the best money I've spent here. Although my Thai was still minimul when I came here it did give me a very good base to carry on learning.

What you have to remember is that if you move to a thai village, very few (if any) people will speak english. If you dont bother to learn to speak Thai you will be virtualy 100% reliant on your partner for everything.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Congraulations, well done. That is good advice if your going to live anywhere in Thailand other then the tourist areas. Even in areas like Udon if can not speak Thia you are very limited in business dealings of any kind and you have cut yourself off from the majority of the community around you. Even the best meaning wife who has no business experience can get you into some very interesting positions, in conducting business.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm afraid Thai is not enough, in Udon and many parts of the north-east, the villagers speak Issan, the young ones speak Thai as well, but to understand the locals talking amongst themselves you have to be able to speak Issan. And I don't believe anyone who says it's similar to Thai, there's a lot of differences. I take the Bangkok-Udon train every 2 or 3 weeks, in the second class compartment I hear the middle class Udon Thanians rattling away in central Thai, they wouldn't deign to speak Issan, that's the peasants' language, not the sophisticated urban dwellers', but it's what is spoken upcountry.

Regarding living upcountry, apart from having decent in-laws, a point already mentioned, it also helps if you love the country life. Many of the villagers will be rice, sugar cane, cassava, fish, cattle, pig, etc, farmers, at night hunting for frogs, fish, birds, grasshoppers, etc. If you are interested in such activities, you'll endear yourself to the locals, apart from having a good time!

[Martin]

Some things seem to be the same all over the world, and one of them is this disdain of those who live the life of rural villagers by the urban dwellers who consider themselves "sophisticated".

For many years before I ever knew that I would discover rural Thailand, I had been saying "'Peasant' is not a rude word in my vocabulary"; and spending last winter working in Bangkok really riled me. The sneering attitude of a lot of Bangkokians towards Issaan is an unpleasant aspect of Thailand.

People from Issaan can manage to live the life of the city dweller; but, if push came to shove, the city dwellers would be largely incapable of living happily in Issaan.

All this veneration of mere 'book learning' is a great con job, perpetrated by the city slickers on their primary-productive cousins.

[ray23]

Some things seem to be the same all over the world, and one of them is this disdain of those who live the life of rural villagers by the urban dwellers who consider themselves "sophisticated".

For many years before I ever knew that I would discover rural Thailand, I had been saying "'Peasant' is not a rude word in my vocabulary"; and spending last winter working in Bangkok really riled me. The sneering attitude of a lot of Bangkokians towards Issaan is an unpleasant aspect of Thailand.

People from Issaan can manage to live the life of the city dweller; but, if push came to shove, the city dwellers would be largely incapable of living happily in Issaan.

All this veneration of mere 'book learning' is a great con job, perpetrated by the city slickers on their primary-productive cousins.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Living in Issan not in a village but Udon itself I couldn't agree more. However I don't see that makes the farrangs resposibilty to care for the entire family, uncles aunts cousins and friends who pop in. Truth is most of my friends are Issan people they work hard and don't look for handouts. That being said no one can live life without needing help from time to time that is a differerent thing altogether.

A perfect example of a Issan productive Issan family is our housekeeper, a widow with two teenage daughters. Instead of sending them off to the bar to work, she sends them to school. Do I help yes I do as she has earned it, she never asked I saw the need and felt I could help someone who would help herself. That I don't mind at all. But if the wifes family were to show up and decide they were going to park in my house instead of working that I would mind. You know these people know more about surviving in this country then we ever will.

The cultural differences these people have with eachother is nothing that we can do anything about.

[edd]

I was just reading through the posts when i came to this, I almost lost my mouse!

Could you imagine the reaction if a MAN had said this?

I made it clear to him that I didn't see why I was responsible for his family when I had my own & that I would be ok if he wanted to send them money he earnt

My G.od he would have have his n.uts shot off by the female section of Thai Visa

But of course these days men are limited to what they can say.

[bkkmadness]

Nice to see this thread back up top again. After 6 months of not being able to visit the the gf's hometown we both have a bit of time and are popping up there for a few days and I can't wait. Go chill out playing with a kite over the fields with some friends there, swim in the river, get that motorbike zooming about the countryside, tons of great food from morning til night, and of course the evening drinking and card games.

Actually taking my brother and his gf up there this time so that'll be cool since he's never been off the tourist track in Thailand. I think village life is one of the best parts of Thailand life and loads of expats here miss out on it. Think it'll be 10 days up there for Songkran as well!

[phusingpete]

Nice to see this thread back up top again. After 6 months of not being able to visit the the gf's hometown we both have a bit of time and are popping up there for a few days and I can't wait. Go chill out playing with a kite over the fields with some friends there, swim in the river, get that motorbike zooming about the countryside, tons of great food from morning til night, and of course the evening drinking and card games.

Actually taking my brother and his gf up there this time so that'll be cool since he's never been off the tourist track in Thailand. I think village life is one of the best parts of Thailand life and loads of expats here miss out on it. Think it'll be 10 days up there for Songkran as well!

I agree.Village life is one of the best aspects of living in Thailand.I live in a small village between SriSa Ket and Surin.A few Farang around to chat to if required but mostly Thais who speak Cambodian.Only ever had one problem with relatives and money when the wifes sister pocketed 20,000 baht which was meant to pay bills while we were in the uk.She later asked to borrow some money to buy land,which we declined.Sure I lend money to various people on occasion and have always been paid back.

At first we stayed in my wifes sisters house(different sister) with the open eaves(never new birds could create so much mess) and the squat loo out back.Not comfortable,so I decided to build a house,great project,designed it myself had construction drawings made up by a Thai friend (who refused payment) he also managed the project as it was being built by a talented builder.Could not have done this in England.Now I am really comfortable have frequent visitors who do not help themselves to my things or raid my fridge.Rarely see the wifes family unless they are invited although they are always welcome.

Yes I have built a wall around the house,I want a garden and need to keep the cows,buffy's dogs and chickens out.This has not created any ill will and I do not feel I am a social pariah.I have brought some things over from UK,such as cd's,art books and materials and really feel I have made a home here not just built a house.

I am now having a small bungalow built for mil in place of her delapidated wooden shack.I suggested she has some nice coloured roof tiles,but she wants corrugated iron.I suggest she have an electric shower for those cold mornings,no she just wants cold water and a plastic ladel..When we are away mil and family move in to look after the house,never had a problem and the house is always clean on our return.recently stayed in Srisaket overnight on our return the two bottles of

chang were still in place!!!!!!

Mabe I'm just lucky...I love it here...

Nam kao, great story.I understand how you could make that mistake,many of the houses (shacks)round here have sun shades hanging at the front which are actually large advertising banners for beer or soft drinks.My wife enjoyed it to.......cheers

[bannork]

I'd forgotten this was an old thread until I looked at the dates! Then I realised after reading all the horror stories how lucky I am, and I wondered why.

1. A lovely,but firm wife, plus great relations, everybody pulls their weight.

2. I've obviously never had much money, just a teacher on 40,000 baht a month, supporting the wife and 3 kids, ie little spare.

3.I'm farang- lao in that I loved Issan, its music, people and the farming life years before I met the missus, I wasn't a city farang suddenly transplanted to the sticks as it were.

I think these 3 factors have gone a long way to making my life happy in Issan.

[ben01]

one thing i cant get my head round is people giving , albeit small amounts, of cash like pocket money to the family, from where my tw is from they rarely need money, mostly exchanging of rice / sarongs etc... is this really a good habit to get into..? surely enticeing them to look after themselves would be better...

[Donz]

Just tell them, if you break this i break you