Advice On Divorce For Friend

[tim armstrong]

We have a thai friend (female) who met and married an Ozzy guy via some slightly dodgy dating agency. The marriage was legitimately done in Bangkok. He spent 2 weeks in Thailand. She then went to live with him in a remote part of Oz. Not surprisingly, it didn't work out. She spent 3 weeks in Oz then came back here. All this was nearly 2yrs ago. Since then she has found someone else, but cannot get married until she gets divorced from the first husband. As both parties are now agreeing to the divorce, and neither want any money, property etc.,

1. Can our Thai friend go to her local Amphur, with a signed and witnessed agreement and get a divorce?

2. Does the ex-husband need to be here ?

3. Is there a specific form, and where does she get it from?

4. Is there anything else required ?

All suggestions appreciated.

[gotlost]

My understanding is if they are TOGETHER both go in take their original marriage certificates and end of story. If it is just her she will need an attorney.

[rocketmanbkk]

They need to be together to go to the Amphur Office. If they can it is a 5 minute job, sign away and receive the certificate while they are there. Done and dusted.

Good luck.

[welsh1]

They need to be together to go to the Amphur Office. If they can it is a 5 minute job, sign away and receive the certificate while they are there. Done and dusted.

Good luck.

And they will have to pay a fee of 40baht .and 5 baht to use the photo copier machine ..and like you say it is a 5 min job

[dansat]

I am sorry to say this and i mean nothing bad towards your thai friend. But my advice to your Thai Friend ( who lives in Thailand and who speaks Thai ) would be to either use a phone and call the office or go to the office she needs to go , and ask some questions her self..

I cant understand why some Thai's ( mostly thai's from poorer backgrounds ) are so scared to ask officals easy questions in there own country

[p_brownstone]

I cant understand why some Thai's ( mostly thai's from poorer backgrounds ) are so scared to ask officals easy questions in there own country

Really?

Then you clearly have not been here long at all.

The relationship between Government Officer and a poor Thai is one of Master and supplicant; few Thais with that background will hazard the treatment they know they will receive from an approach - for even the simplest advice - from any Thai Official, however lowly.

Far easier to ask a friendly Farang to go on the Internet and find an answer for them.

Patrick

[tim armstrong]

I cant understand why some Thai's ( mostly thai's from poorer backgrounds ) are so scared to ask officals easy questions in there own country

Really?

Then you clearly have not been here long at all.

The relationship between Government Officer and a poor Thai is one of Master and supplicant; few Thais with that background will hazard the treatment they know they will receive from an approach - for even the simplest advice - from any Thai Official, however lowly.

Far easier to ask a friendly Farang to go on the Internet and find an answer for them.

Patrick

Yes, unfortunately true. This lady is not poor, but not very confident about officialdom. I would rather not get involved, but my wife and I have known this person for a long time and want to see some resolution to this tale, for our benefit as well as hers..

I thought there was a way that divorce could be granted without the presence of the spouse - if he was a farlang living elsewhere, but maybe I'm wrong.

Edited December 10, 2010 by soundman
Fixed quote tags.

[XXpate48USA]

Well, here I am looking for advice as to how to get an easy divorce from a thai lady whom I met on the internet TK. I met her a year ago after chatting for several months. She had told me she was never married before nor had any children. She is a pretty lady and looks younger than her real age of 44. She did tell me she was 38 while chatting for about 5 months.

Since I made the trip to Bkk to meet her everything went good and had a nice time although she did have quite the termper and I assumed she had been spoiled etc. I let it all go and took most of the angry ourtbursts and usually within an hour or so she was back acting nice again.

We traveled and toured around most of Northern Thailand, Chiang Mai was where I had rented a condo and we stayed for 3 months. After 3 months I agreed to get a marriage license and assumed it was the same as in the US. In the USA you buy a license and then can get married at a later date. Welllllll, I quickly learned that by going to the Amphur "you are legally married at that time!!! period and is recognised in USA also. Now, my delemna is after finding out we are married at that exact time of going to the Amphur I learned of her 16 year old child that lived with the grandmother(I was told) but later found that it was her Xhusbands or bf's home. I do know that she and him are not on good terms and have split about 7 years ago. I of course was disheartened and a little angry that I had been lied to about many things.

Her main goal it has come to light that of course "money" and support is what she was looking for although I do believe she did care for me also, but support was the main goal. As you all know all Thai's think falang's are rich. Now, by thier standards I suppose I do look rich. I have a small pension and retired early in America. 120,000Baht total each month although I am still paying for all my bills etc in the USA. She does not seem to comprehend that 4000US per month is not Rich. I left Thailand after her many requests for money and yellow gold. Those items seemed most important rather than finding a nice home to rent in Chiang mai. Her parents live in Sukhothai and now her only answer is that she wants to live with her parents in a complete turn around from the first telling me she would live with me anywhere in Thailand.

The reason I did not want to live in Sukhothai was that her family seemed to think that they had a new unlimited source of funds each time I came to visit with her. Example: In April we went to her familys home in SUK. Her brother had asked her to ask me if he could borrow 13000Baht and would pay me back in 7 days. Ok, I trying to make her happyand be "jai dee" I gave the money and expected at least a small pmt. every month back,but since going on 9 months not a satang has been mentioned or paid back to me. I am not sure if it was her or her brother that had said pay me back in 7 days. Now, I believe it was her trying to show how good and generous I am and that I would just forget about it. Well, I am not a rich man and I do have my own bills.etc.

I left Thailand after only 5 months with her staying at a rented condo. I can't seem to find it in my heart to forgive out and out lies and deciet. I have learned that lieing is just a normal part of thai culture for self precurment. They just think falang are rich and no one can convince them any different. I also found out (she says) that she has a truck payment every month etc. I paid that reluctantly since none of this had been told to me before coming to meet her. I was also talked into buying 2 air conditioners for her parents home and build a new room that was mean't for us to stay in.

My thai wife had told me she had a job in Bkk that paid her 35,000baht per month and she wants me to pay her no 25,000baht per month and live with her family. I have stayed back in the USA now for 7 months with trying to figure out how to get this divorce or anulment without getting hit with half my pension gone. I became so dis-illusioned with the corruption in Thailand that I think it I could not deal with how thier culture operates. It seems to be a norm of her to just tell me what she thinks I need to hear and is always demanding she needs more money etc. I do think it is pressure from her brother and parents to extract as much money as they can from me. At one point she had said " I die soon" when she was angry I had not returned or given her the amount she wanted each month. She has also used very vulgar langauage with me that I would never expect a so called "good thai girl" to use. I have been sending on average about 10,000B a month for food for her and expenses. I am 59 and mostly healthy but I do need some medicines that I have to pay for and she counts the money I spend on medicines(about 8000Vaht) per month as money I spend on myself. Ughh..

With that language and the threat of "I die soon" etc has left me without wanting to return to be with a wife that can say that kind of thing nor take the chance of living with her family to one day not wake up. I do think it was just angry talk, but I am not willing to take that chance. I did think we loved each other when I was with her is how I got so involved the first time. She seems to be very close to this loser brother that I believe is using her to try and get as much as she can from "the Buffalo" stupid falang. Yes, I was very naive when I came to thailand and tried my best to trust in what she told me etc and learn how thier culture works. This was the reason I agreed to help her parents and her brother. I know her brother maybe makes 150B per day and I understand poor because I have been poor before myself and still consider myself only average wages in USA. When I have asked about the 13000baht loan to her, she gets upset and says I am complaining and stinky.

Anyway, I think you can get the just of this blog. I am wanting know some good advice as to how to get completely away from this woman and family without losing my shirt. I don't want to return to "the land of scams" (LOS) and I need to find out if she can go to court and get a judgment on my small pension and if a thai divorce court can have jusisdiction over an americans pension?. This is all she wants from me"money" or for me to stay with her and help make her parents house nice with my money. She refuses to go rent a nice home in CM with me and says thatwe can save if we stay at her parents home. The problem with that is we falang apreciate out own privacy and don't want to feel like a visitor all time time in a home we stay in where the Old man and Old lady(parents) control things while I pay the bills. Sound fun huh?...ughh.....My thoughts are if this lady(my wife) loved me she would be perfectly content to get ourt own home and make it nice and of course help her parents out with a few k per month while we live 300kilos from them. She says yes she will but first she wants the home in Sukhothai fixed up nice FIRST...I told her no problem but I want to have out OWN home first and then we can help make her parents home nice as we go along and visit etc.

Yes, anyone can see what this is about. She knows that one day that will be her home and she wants that done first. My happiness seems to come in down the line somewhere and of course I am being used for the $. sooo, now does anyone know or can give me some advice that if I just stay in the usa, can she go to court in thailand and get a judgment for supoort and be recognised in the usa?....If I felt safe, I would just go to Thailand and go get the easy divorce at the amphur we got marrried in. Buttt, I have visions of her thinking if I have an "accidental accident she becomes hier to my home and possesions in Amerca. I read too many storys of how many falang husbands seem to have suicide attempts jumping from balcony's etc. This does happen in Thailand many times and does not seem to get investigated very thoroughly.

Especially with those remarks about "i die soon" etc. and with the fact her youngest brother 46 can just borrow(steal) 13000baht and then not another word about it. I just think I would be a dead duck to go try making a life with her. Yes, I am totally dis-illusioned with Thaialnd and I just want OUT with getting skinned alive literaly and finacially. Money IS what matters MOST in the( Land of Smiles) I'm not smiling!! and please, if anyone can give me advice on how or what to do to protect myself from this greedy woman and her family and can she get a judgment in a thai court that can take part or half of my pension?....I was only in Thailand for 5 months total and lived in a hotel 3 months after going to the amphur(married). Am I in big trouble or do I have to worry?....I would sure apreciate any advise on any of this.....thanks

[XXpate48USA]

I cant understand why some Thai's ( mostly thai's from poorer backgrounds ) are so scared to ask officals easy questions in there own country

Really?

Then you clearly have not been here long at all.

The relationship between Government Officer and a poor Thai is one of Master and supplicant; few Thais with that background will hazard the treatment they know they will receive from an approach - for even the simplest advice - from any Thai Official, however lowly.

Far easier to ask a friendly Farang to go on the Internet and find an answer for them.

Patrick

Hello, from what I am told. You can file for a divorce and use an atorney for the preliminary's but must be there for the final dissolution.

In other words, an atourney can file for you and submit to the courts and get everything filed and read. Just be careful as to WHO you pick for an attorney. I am not sure but I think "siamleagal" is a failry responsible group. In Thailand one must be careful who you hire because of so many out there trying to get a fast buck legally or illegally. I would do some shopping and ask questions from others who have hired one in Thailand. I am in the same boat....good luck!

[johna]

Well, here I am looking for advice as to how to get an easy divorce from a thai lady whom I met on the internet TK. I met her a year ago after chatting for several months. She had told me she was never married before nor had any children. She is a pretty lady and looks younger than her real age of 44. She did tell me she was 38 while chatting for about 5 months.

Since I made the trip to Bkk to meet her everything went good and had a nice time although she did have quite the termper and I assumed she had been spoiled etc. I let it all go and took most of the angry ourtbursts and usually within an hour or so she was back acting nice again.

We traveled and toured around most of Northern Thailand, Chiang Mai was where I had rented a condo and we stayed for 3 months. After 3 months I agreed to get a marriage license and assumed it was the same as in the US. In the USA you buy a license and then can get married at a later date. Welllllll, I quickly learned that by going to the Amphur "you are legally married at that time!!! period and is recognised in USA also. Now, my delemna is after finding out we are married at that exact time of going to the Amphur I learned of her 16 year old child that lived with the grandmother(I was told) but later found that it was her Xhusbands or bf's home. I do know that she and him are not on good terms and have split about 7 years ago. I of course was disheartened and a little angry that I had been lied to about many things.

Her main goal it has come to light that of course "money" and support is what she was looking for although I do believe she did care for me also, but support was the main goal. As you all know all Thai's think falang's are rich. Now, by thier standards I suppose I do look rich. I have a small pension and retired early in America. 120,000Baht total each month although I am still paying for all my bills etc in the USA. She does not seem to comprehend that 4000US per month is not Rich. I left Thailand after her many requests for money and yellow gold. Those items seemed most important rather than finding a nice home to rent in Chiang mai. Her parents live in Sukhothai and now her only answer is that she wants to live with her parents in a complete turn around from the first telling me she would live with me anywhere in Thailand.

The reason I did not want to live in Sukhothai was that her family seemed to think that they had a new unlimited source of funds each time I came to visit with her. Example: In April we went to her familys home in SUK. Her brother had asked her to ask me if he could borrow 13000Baht and would pay me back in 7 days. Ok, I trying to make her happyand be "jai dee" I gave the money and expected at least a small pmt. every month back,but since going on 9 months not a satang has been mentioned or paid back to me. I am not sure if it was her or her brother that had said pay me back in 7 days. Now, I believe it was her trying to show how good and generous I am and that I would just forget about it. Well, I am not a rich man and I do have my own bills.etc.

I left Thailand after only 5 months with her staying at a rented condo. I can't seem to find it in my heart to forgive out and out lies and deciet. I have learned that lieing is just a normal part of thai culture for self precurment. They just think falang are rich and no one can convince them any different. I also found out (she says) that she has a truck payment every month etc. I paid that reluctantly since none of this had been told to me before coming to meet her. I was also talked into buying 2 air conditioners for her parents home and build a new room that was mean't for us to stay in.

My thai wife had told me she had a job in Bkk that paid her 35,000baht per month and she wants me to pay her no 25,000baht per month and live with her family. I have stayed back in the USA now for 7 months with trying to figure out how to get this divorce or anulment without getting hit with half my pension gone. I became so dis-illusioned with the corruption in Thailand that I think it I could not deal with how thier culture operates. It seems to be a norm of her to just tell me what she thinks I need to hear and is always demanding she needs more money etc. I do think it is pressure from her brother and parents to extract as much money as they can from me. At one point she had said " I die soon" when she was angry I had not returned or given her the amount she wanted each month. She has also used very vulgar langauage with me that I would never expect a so called "good thai girl" to use. I have been sending on average about 10,000B a month for food for her and expenses. I am 59 and mostly healthy but I do need some medicines that I have to pay for and she counts the money I spend on medicines(about 8000Vaht) per month as money I spend on myself. Ughh..

With that language and the threat of "I die soon" etc has left me without wanting to return to be with a wife that can say that kind of thing nor take the chance of living with her family to one day not wake up. I do think it was just angry talk, but I am not willing to take that chance. I did think we loved each other when I was with her is how I got so involved the first time. She seems to be very close to this loser brother that I believe is using her to try and get as much as she can from "the Buffalo" stupid falang. Yes, I was very naive when I came to thailand and tried my best to trust in what she told me etc and learn how thier culture works. This was the reason I agreed to help her parents and her brother. I know her brother maybe makes 150B per day and I understand poor because I have been poor before myself and still consider myself only average wages in USA. When I have asked about the 13000baht loan to her, she gets upset and says I am complaining and stinky.

Anyway, I think you can get the just of this blog. I am wanting know some good advice as to how to get completely away from this woman and family without losing my shirt. I don't want to return to "the land of scams" (LOS) and I need to find out if she can go to court and get a judgment on my small pension and if a thai divorce court can have jusisdiction over an americans pension?. This is all she wants from me"money" or for me to stay with her and help make her parents house nice with my money. She refuses to go rent a nice home in CM with me and says thatwe can save if we stay at her parents home. The problem with that is we falang apreciate out own privacy and don't want to feel like a visitor all time time in a home we stay in where the Old man and Old lady(parents) control things while I pay the bills. Sound fun huh?...ughh.....My thoughts are if this lady(my wife) loved me she would be perfectly content to get ourt own home and make it nice and of course help her parents out with a few k per month while we live 300kilos from them. She says yes she will but first she wants the home in Sukhothai fixed up nice FIRST...I told her no problem but I want to have out OWN home first and then we can help make her parents home nice as we go along and visit etc.

Yes, anyone can see what this is about. She knows that one day that will be her home and she wants that done first. My happiness seems to come in down the line somewhere and of course I am being used for the $. sooo, now does anyone know or can give me some advice that if I just stay in the usa, can she go to court in thailand and get a judgment for supoort and be recognised in the usa?....If I felt safe, I would just go to Thailand and go get the easy divorce at the amphur we got marrried in. Buttt, I have visions of her thinking if I have an "accidental accident she becomes hier to my home and possesions in Amerca. I read too many storys of how many falang husbands seem to have suicide attempts jumping from balcony's etc. This does happen in Thailand many times and does not seem to get investigated very thoroughly.

Especially with those remarks about "i die soon" etc. and with the fact her youngest brother 46 can just borrow(steal) 13000baht and then not another word about it. I just think I would be a dead duck to go try making a life with her. Yes, I am totally dis-illusioned with Thaialnd and I just want OUT with getting skinned alive literaly and finacially. Money IS what matters MOST in the( Land of Smiles) I'm not smiling!! and please, if anyone can give me advice on how or what to do to protect myself from this greedy woman and her family and can she get a judgment in a thai court that can take part or half of my pension?....I was only in Thailand for 5 months total and lived in a hotel 3 months after going to the amphur(married). Am I in big trouble or do I have to worry?....I would sure apreciate any advise on any of this.....thanks

This should be a new topic, but

No you are not married just by visiting the Amphur's office.

To be legally married, you must obtain a letter from your consul saying that you are free to marry, with a certified translation from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

You and your finance then go to the Amphur’s office with these documets, and passport/ID card and register your marriage.

The Amphur will then issue a marriage license.

If you have gone through this process it should not come as a surprise that you left the Amphur's office a married man.

So what did happen ?

[Mario2008]

Under Thai law there is no obligation to pay your wife support. Only for children you might have would one need to pay child support, normally around 3,000 to 6,000 baht a month and chair helath expenses and such.

Thai law only requires that you split the assests (and debts) that where acquired during the marriage. Eeverything you had before the marriage is still your.

If you win 1 million in the loterry before the marriage, she gets nothing from that. Did you win it during the marriage, she is entitled to half of it.

In Thailand you cna only divorce at the amphur if you both agree to divrce, if you can't agree you have to go to court and can only get a divorce on one of the grounds stated in the law.

See more about thai family law, including divorce here: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/313877-thai-family-law/

[XXpate48USA]

Well, here I am looking for advice as to how to get an easy divorce from a thai lady whom I met on the internet TK. I met her a year ago after chatting for several months. She had told me she was never married before nor had any children. She is a pretty lady and looks younger than her real age of 44. She did tell me she was 38 while chatting for about 5 months.

Since I made the trip to Bkk to meet her everything went good and had a nice time although she did have quite the termper and I assumed she had been spoiled etc. I let it all go and took most of the angry ourtbursts and usually within an hour or so she was back acting nice again.

We traveled and toured around most of Northern Thailand, Chiang Mai was where I had rented a condo and we stayed for 3 months. After 3 months I agreed to get a marriage license and assumed it was the same as in the US. In the USA you buy a license and then can get married at a later date. Welllllll, I quickly learned that by going to the Amphur "you are legally married at that time!!! period and is recognised in USA also. Now, my delemna is after finding out we are married at that exact time of going to the Amphur I learned of her 16 year old child that lived with the grandmother(I was told) but later found that it was her Xhusbands or bf's home. I do know that she and him are not on good terms and have split about 7 years ago. I of course was disheartened and a little angry that I had been lied to about many things.

Her main goal it has come to light that of course "money" and support is what she was looking for although I do believe she did care for me also, but support was the main goal. As you all know all Thai's think falang's are rich. Now, by thier standards I suppose I do look rich. I have a small pension and retired early in America. 120,000Baht total each month although I am still paying for all my bills etc in the USA. She does not seem to comprehend that 4000US per month is not Rich. I left Thailand after her many requests for money and yellow gold. Those items seemed most important rather than finding a nice home to rent in Chiang mai. Her parents live in Sukhothai and now her only answer is that she wants to live with her parents in a complete turn around from the first telling me she would live with me anywhere in Thailand.

The reason I did not want to live in Sukhothai was that her family seemed to think that they had a new unlimited source of funds each time I came to visit with her. Example: In April we went to her familys home in SUK. Her brother had asked her to ask me if he could borrow 13000Baht and would pay me back in 7 days. Ok, I trying to make her happyand be "jai dee" I gave the money and expected at least a small pmt. every month back,but since going on 9 months not a satang has been mentioned or paid back to me. I am not sure if it was her or her brother that had said pay me back in 7 days. Now, I believe it was her trying to show how good and generous I am and that I would just forget about it. Well, I am not a rich man and I do have my own bills.etc.

I left Thailand after only 5 months with her staying at a rented condo. I can't seem to find it in my heart to forgive out and out lies and deciet. I have learned that lieing is just a normal part of thai culture for self precurment. They just think falang are rich and no one can convince them any different. I also found out (she says) that she has a truck payment every month etc. I paid that reluctantly since none of this had been told to me before coming to meet her. I was also talked into buying 2 air conditioners for her parents home and build a new room that was mean't for us to stay in.

My thai wife had told me she had a job in Bkk that paid her 35,000baht per month and she wants me to pay her no 25,000baht per month and live with her family. I have stayed back in the USA now for 7 months with trying to figure out how to get this divorce or anulment without getting hit with half my pension gone. I became so dis-illusioned with the corruption in Thailand that I think it I could not deal with how thier culture operates. It seems to be a norm of her to just tell me what she thinks I need to hear and is always demanding she needs more money etc. I do think it is pressure from her brother and parents to extract as much money as they can from me. At one point she had said " I die soon" when she was angry I had not returned or given her the amount she wanted each month. She has also used very vulgar langauage with me that I would never expect a so called "good thai girl" to use. I have been sending on average about 10,000B a month for food for her and expenses. I am 59 and mostly healthy but I do need some medicines that I have to pay for and she counts the money I spend on medicines(about 8000Vaht) per month as money I spend on myself. Ughh..

With that language and the threat of "I die soon" etc has left me without wanting to return to be with a wife that can say that kind of thing nor take the chance of living with her family to one day not wake up. I do think it was just angry talk, but I am not willing to take that chance. I did think we loved each other when I was with her is how I got so involved the first time. She seems to be very close to this loser brother that I believe is using her to try and get as much as she can from "the Buffalo" stupid falang. Yes, I was very naive when I came to thailand and tried my best to trust in what she told me etc and learn how thier culture works. This was the reason I agreed to help her parents and her brother. I know her brother maybe makes 150B per day and I understand poor because I have been poor before myself and still consider myself only average wages in USA. When I have asked about the 13000baht loan to her, she gets upset and says I am complaining and stinky.

Anyway, I think you can get the just of this blog. I am wanting know some good advice as to how to get completely away from this woman and family without losing my shirt. I don't want to return to "the land of scams" (LOS) and I need to find out if she can go to court and get a judgment on my small pension and if a thai divorce court can have jusisdiction over an americans pension?. This is all she wants from me"money" or for me to stay with her and help make her parents house nice with my money. She refuses to go rent a nice home in CM with me and says thatwe can save if we stay at her parents home. The problem with that is we falang apreciate out own privacy and don't want to feel like a visitor all time time in a home we stay in where the Old man and Old lady(parents) control things while I pay the bills. Sound fun huh?...ughh.....My thoughts are if this lady(my wife) loved me she would be perfectly content to get ourt own home and make it nice and of course help her parents out with a few k per month while we live 300kilos from them. She says yes she will but first she wants the home in Sukhothai fixed up nice FIRST...I told her no problem but I want to have out OWN home first and then we can help make her parents home nice as we go along and visit etc.

Yes, anyone can see what this is about. She knows that one day that will be her home and she wants that done first. My happiness seems to come in down the line somewhere and of course I am being used for the $. sooo, now does anyone know or can give me some advice that if I just stay in the usa, can she go to court in thailand and get a judgment for supoort and be recognised in the usa?....If I felt safe, I would just go to Thailand and go get the easy divorce at the amphur we got marrried in. Buttt, I have visions of her thinking if I have an "accidental accident she becomes hier to my home and possesions in Amerca. I read too many storys of how many falang husbands seem to have suicide attempts jumping from balcony's etc. This does happen in Thailand many times and does not seem to get investigated very thoroughly.

Especially with those remarks about "i die soon" etc. and with the fact her youngest brother 46 can just borrow(steal) 13000baht and then not another word about it. I just think I would be a dead duck to go try making a life with her. Yes, I am totally dis-illusioned with Thaialnd and I just want OUT with getting skinned alive literaly and finacially. Money IS what matters MOST in the( Land of Smiles) I'm not smiling!! and please, if anyone can give me advice on how or what to do to protect myself from this greedy woman and her family and can she get a judgment in a thai court that can take part or half of my pension?....I was only in Thailand for 5 months total and lived in a hotel 3 months after going to the amphur(married). Am I in big trouble or do I have to worry?....I would sure apreciate any advise on any of this.....thanks

This should be a new topic, but

No you are not married just by visiting the Amphur's office.

To be legally married, you must obtain a letter from your consul saying that you are free to marry, with a certified translation from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

You and your finance then go to the Amphur's office with these documets, and passport/ID card and register your marriage.

The Amphur will then issue a marriage license.

If you have gone through this process it should not come as a surprise that you left the Amphur's office a married man.

So what did happen ?

Thank you, for your reply, Johna

I did go to the embassy and get the "freedom to marry" afidavit! We had a local visa agency do the work. I just assumed that we needed this to get the license. When we finally went to the anphur, we had all the papers needed, passport and other documents.

In the amphur no one spoke enlgish and I depended on her to do the talking and when I asked what the papers said, she just said she would tell me after we are done. I trusted her! I know, I know. I was very stupid for not having someone translate. In America two people go to the local court building and buy a license and I assumed it was the same. I did not want marriage at that exact time although I did agree to marry her and get the license. Then later have the ceromony (I was naive) yessssssss or stupid

Now, the next day I questioned her as to what the papers said and she said she would get it translated for me.

After hearing her call and talk to this youg lady (16 yrs old) I wondered why she and her had so many phone calls to each other. I asked who and why she called so much. I then started thinking something else, that this may be someone other than a young girl she was close to and wanted to help her. Ok, I finally said "that is your own daughter, right" my wife said no, it is her brothers child and she feels the need to help her. She then went on to explain that she wrote down on the marriage papers the girls name. I asked why would you write down her name if she was not your own daughter since this was between her and I only(I thought).

Finally, I just looked her straight in the eye and said "she is your daughter, right" and she gave me the dear in the headlights look.

She then confessed. I then assumed the reason for all the lieing about this young girl, In thailand I think that thai men think a women is used merchandise if they have a child or have been married before. Ok, I thought about it and I understood and I told her it is no problem, "I understand and forgive you" just always tell the truth. We falang understand and don't think the same as (some/most) thai men and can easily accept a relationship from the past. At any rate, her daughters name was now on our marriage papers.( I never met or saw this child) Now I am thinking am I going to be responsible for child support for this 16 year old girl now?....Of course anyone would know I am not the blood father as I had only been in Thailand for a few months and never 16 years ago to be the father. But not knowing the Thai laws, did I sign anything that says I will support this child and be legally binding? I think it was just a marriage license we got (I hope).

We did both get a copy of a legal paper and I now know that it is an actual marriage license, so yes, we are legally married. Thailand I know we can just go back to the amphur to get a legal divorce BUT with the threats she had given me more than once. I know thai ladys have a reputation for angry outbursts, but "I die soon"..hmm....I don't think it is wise for me to go back to try to do this amicably. I don't know another soul in Thailand other than her family and I am sure they are not pleased with me for being gone so long. I would have been back with her in Thailand back in july if she hadn't kept lieing to me about where she was. I literally asked her 10 times, are you sure you are still in Sukhothai and she said yes yes...honest. I knew for a fact she was staying in Bkk with her daughter at the home she and her X lived in. Her X has another wife and lived in another province but let her stay there to visit her daughter while waiting for me to come back. Now, I ask myself do I want to go back to be with a lady that can not tell me the simple truth? How can there be a happy trusting life when all trust is gone.

I have stayed back in the USA since may and I do know she had another profile on TLL that she said was an old profile etc. I noticed she had another falang(on msn) she had talked to from there. She told me she was just on there to close that account(SURE) ughh.

So you can see why I just want out of this without losing my home and money. I do believe she wants me to come back but I am afraid to stay at her parents and familys home because of all of this. I feel bad for her being poor and understand some thai people are always in survival mode, but I don't want to be just another "statistic" I have lost any trust and could never be able to trust especially when most of the people that call her are called 'cousins" and 99% are male cousins.

That is the reason I wanted to stay and live in Chiang mai becuase of privacy reasons and I figured that if this woman really cared for me and loved me she would have no problem. I understand a woman wants security etc. which is normal but now she says she does not like Chiang mai and will only live in BKK or Sukhothai. Why the change? and if she is with me, then what is wrong with that? She says we can save money if we stay in her parents house. But the problem with that is many cousins and family always are coming and going. That is ok but I want my OWN home and we can visit her family just a couple hours away. Am I wrong?

I told her I needed to learn to speak thai better and then I would not mind if I was able to communicate better. I said I wanted to find a nice house and then buy a condo in Chiang mai and then later maybe we could move back to her town when I don't feel so much like an "outsider" I suppose the whole problem is she wants to call all the shots and tell me what we need to do even though I am the one who has to juggle the money to fit things so i don't lose my shirt and home. I think it is a lot cheaper to live in CM than Bkk or at her parents where the family always has another reason for needing money...ughhhh.....

We agreed at first to live in Cm and send money to her parents every month to help which I thouht was a good gesture. My question is)is there really a truck pmt) i asked to see the contract but to date I have seen anything. I just have her word for what her bills are.

Sorry for rambling on and on. .....ok, I tried my best to do everything to help her family.

back to the question, am I Iiable to pay her or get a judgement on me for support of her? I have decided I don't want to deal with the culture that can not be honest with me and just sees me as a way to live better.....I have no plans of getting married again or going back to Thailand unless there is a drastic change in her attitude and I feel safe. Can anyone tell me what my options are besides going back to thailand and trusting that she will willingly go get an easy divorce. Can I just stay in the USA and not worry anymore?

I am to the point of being a basket case..hehe....I realise i am not helping myself by still sending money to help her but on the other hand I feel sorry for her being in her situation also. Sending her money has put a strain on myself and my bills here in America also.

I do realize that she can show that she has depended on me for money for that last 8 months and maybe this could hurt me in a civil divorce case. I probably should just cut all ties and let her find someone else who can let her control all the situation but I am pretty certain this is why she is still single(so to speak). I am the kind of fellow that takes care of my own people and am generous on top.

But, when I lose all trust and her brother can just burn me without even trying to pay a tiny tiny bit back, where is the "thank you" at?

what kind of respect for me is that?.....where could I fit in except close to the ATM.....hmmm....thanks for reading this........anymore opinions will help.....thanks

[XXpate48USA]

Well, here I am looking for advice as to how to get an easy divorce from a thai lady whom I met on the internet TK. I met her a year ago after chatting for several months. She had told me she was never married before nor had any children. She is a pretty lady and looks younger than her real age of 44. She did tell me she was 38 while chatting for about 5 months.

Since I made the trip to Bkk to meet her everything went good and had a nice time although she did have quite the termper and I assumed she had been spoiled etc. I let it all go and took most of the angry ourtbursts and usually within an hour or so she was back acting nice again.

We traveled and toured around most of Northern Thailand, Chiang Mai was where I had rented a condo and we stayed for 3 months. After 3 months I agreed to get a marriage license and assumed it was the same as in the US. In the USA you buy a license and then can get married at a later date. Welllllll, I quickly learned that by going to the Amphur "you are legally married at that time!!! period and is recognised in USA also. Now, my delemna is after finding out we are married at that exact time of going to the Amphur I learned of her 16 year old child that lived with the grandmother(I was told) but later found that it was her Xhusbands or bf's home. I do know that she and him are not on good terms and have split about 7 years ago. I of course was disheartened and a little angry that I had been lied to about many things.

Her main goal it has come to light that of course "money" and support is what she was looking for although I do believe she did care for me also, but support was the main goal. As you all know all Thai's think falang's are rich. Now, by thier standards I suppose I do look rich. I have a small pension and retired early in America. 120,000Baht total each month although I am still paying for all my bills etc in the USA. She does not seem to comprehend that 4000US per month is not Rich. I left Thailand after her many requests for money and yellow gold. Those items seemed most important rather than finding a nice home to rent in Chiang mai. Her parents live in Sukhothai and now her only answer is that she wants to live with her parents in a complete turn around from the first telling me she would live with me anywhere in Thailand.

The reason I did not want to live in Sukhothai was that her family seemed to think that they had a new unlimited source of funds each time I came to visit with her. Example: In April we went to her familys home in SUK. Her brother had asked her to ask me if he could borrow 13000Baht and would pay me back in 7 days. Ok, I trying to make her happyand be "jai dee" I gave the money and expected at least a small pmt. every month back,but since going on 9 months not a satang has been mentioned or paid back to me. I am not sure if it was her or her brother that had said pay me back in 7 days. Now, I believe it was her trying to show how good and generous I am and that I would just forget about it. Well, I am not a rich man and I do have my own bills.etc.

I left Thailand after only 5 months with her staying at a rented condo. I can't seem to find it in my heart to forgive out and out lies and deciet. I have learned that lieing is just a normal part of thai culture for self precurment. They just think falang are rich and no one can convince them any different. I also found out (she says) that she has a truck payment every month etc. I paid that reluctantly since none of this had been told to me before coming to meet her. I was also talked into buying 2 air conditioners for her parents home and build a new room that was mean't for us to stay in.

My thai wife had told me she had a job in Bkk that paid her 35,000baht per month and she wants me to pay her no 25,000baht per month and live with her family. I have stayed back in the USA now for 7 months with trying to figure out how to get this divorce or anulment without getting hit with half my pension gone. I became so dis-illusioned with the corruption in Thailand that I think it I could not deal with how thier culture operates. It seems to be a norm of her to just tell me what she thinks I need to hear and is always demanding she needs more money etc. I do think it is pressure from her brother and parents to extract as much money as they can from me. At one point she had said " I die soon" when she was angry I had not returned or given her the amount she wanted each month. She has also used very vulgar langauage with me that I would never expect a so called "good thai girl" to use. I have been sending on average about 10,000B a month for food for her and expenses. I am 59 and mostly healthy but I do need some medicines that I have to pay for and she counts the money I spend on medicines(about 8000Vaht) per month as money I spend on myself. Ughh..

With that language and the threat of "I die soon" etc has left me without wanting to return to be with a wife that can say that kind of thing nor take the chance of living with her family to one day not wake up. I do think it was just angry talk, but I am not willing to take that chance. I did think we loved each other when I was with her is how I got so involved the first time. She seems to be very close to this loser brother that I believe is using her to try and get as much as she can from "the Buffalo" stupid falang. Yes, I was very naive when I came to thailand and tried my best to trust in what she told me etc and learn how thier culture works. This was the reason I agreed to help her parents and her brother. I know her brother maybe makes 150B per day and I understand poor because I have been poor before myself and still consider myself only average wages in USA. When I have asked about the 13000baht loan to her, she gets upset and says I am complaining and stinky.

Anyway, I think you can get the just of this blog. I am wanting know some good advice as to how to get completely away from this woman and family without losing my shirt. I don't want to return to "the land of scams" (LOS) and I need to find out if she can go to court and get a judgment on my small pension and if a thai divorce court can have jusisdiction over an americans pension?. This is all she wants from me"money" or for me to stay with her and help make her parents house nice with my money. She refuses to go rent a nice home in CM with me and says thatwe can save if we stay at her parents home. The problem with that is we falang apreciate out own privacy and don't want to feel like a visitor all time time in a home we stay in where the Old man and Old lady(parents) control things while I pay the bills. Sound fun huh?...ughh.....My thoughts are if this lady(my wife) loved me she would be perfectly content to get ourt own home and make it nice and of course help her parents out with a few k per month while we live 300kilos from them. She says yes she will but first she wants the home in Sukhothai fixed up nice FIRST...I told her no problem but I want to have out OWN home first and then we can help make her parents home nice as we go along and visit etc.

Yes, anyone can see what this is about. She knows that one day that will be her home and she wants that done first. My happiness seems to come in down the line somewhere and of course I am being used for the $. sooo, now does anyone know or can give me some advice that if I just stay in the usa, can she go to court in thailand and get a judgment for supoort and be recognised in the usa?....If I felt safe, I would just go to Thailand and go get the easy divorce at the amphur we got marrried in. Buttt, I have visions of her thinking if I have an "accidental accident she becomes hier to my home and possesions in Amerca. I read too many storys of how many falang husbands seem to have suicide attempts jumping from balcony's etc. This does happen in Thailand many times and does not seem to get investigated very thoroughly.

Especially with those remarks about "i die soon" etc. and with the fact her youngest brother 46 can just borrow(steal) 13000baht and then not another word about it. I just think I would be a dead duck to go try making a life with her. Yes, I am totally dis-illusioned with Thaialnd and I just want OUT with getting skinned alive literaly and finacially. Money IS what matters MOST in the( Land of Smiles) I'm not smiling!! and please, if anyone can give me advice on how or what to do to protect myself from this greedy woman and her family and can she get a judgment in a thai court that can take part or half of my pension?....I was only in Thailand for 5 months total and lived in a hotel 3 months after going to the amphur(married). Am I in big trouble or do I have to worry?....I would sure apreciate any advise on any of this.....thanks

This should be a new topic, but

No you are not married just by visiting the Amphur's office.

To be legally married, you must obtain a letter from your consul saying that you are free to marry, with a certified translation from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

You and your finance then go to the Amphur's office with these documets, and passport/ID card and register your marriage.

The Amphur will then issue a marriage license.

If you have gone through this process it should not come as a surprise that you left the Amphur's office a married man.

So what did happen ?

Thank you, for your reply, Johna

I did go to the embassy and get the "freedom to marry" afidavit! We had a local visa agency do the work. I just assumed that we needed this to get the license. When we finally went to the anphur, we had all the papers needed, passport and other documents.

In the amphur no one spoke enlgish and I depended on her to do the talking and when I asked what the papers said, she just said she would tell me after we are done. I trusted her! I know, I know. I was very stupid for not having someone translate. In America two people go to the local court building and buy a license and I assumed it was the same. I did not want marriage at that exact time although I did agree to marry her and get the license. Then later have the ceromony (I was naive) yessssssss or stupid

Now, the next day I questioned her as to what the papers said and she said she would get it translated for me.

After hearing her call and talk to this youg lady (16 yrs old) I wondered why she and her had so many phone calls to each other. I asked who and why she called so much. I then started thinking something else, that this may be someone other than a young girl she was close to and wanted to help her. Ok, I finally said "that is your own daughter, right" my wife said no, it is her brothers child and she feels the need to help her. She then went on to explain that she wrote down on the marriage papers the girls name. I asked why would you write down her name if she was not your own daughter since this was between her and I only(I thought).

Finally, I just looked her straight in the eye and said "she is your daughter, right" and she gave me the dear in the headlights look.

She then confessed. I then assumed the reason for all the lieing about this young girl, In thailand I think that thai men think a women is used merchandise if they have a child or have been married before. Ok, I thought about it and I understood and I told her it is no problem, "I understand and forgive you" just always tell the truth. We falang understand and don't think the same as (some/most) thai men and can easily accept a relationship from the past. At any rate, her daughters name was now on our marriage papers.( I never met or saw this child) Now I am thinking am I going to be responsible for child support for this 16 year old girl now?....Of course anyone would know I am not the blood father as I had only been in Thailand for a few months and never 16 years ago to be the father. But not knowing the Thai laws, did I sign anything that says I will support this child and be legally binding? I think it was just a marriage license we got (I hope).

We did both get a copy of a legal paper and I now know that it is an actual marriage license, so yes, we are legally married. Thailand I know we can just go back to the amphur to get a legal divorce BUT with the threats she had given me more than once. I know thai ladys have a reputation for angry outbursts, but "I die soon"..hmm....I don't think it is wise for me to go back to try to do this amicably. I don't know another soul in Thailand other than her family and I am sure they are not pleased with me for being gone so long. I would have been back with her in Thailand back in july if she hadn't kept lieing to me about where she was. I literally asked her 10 times, are you sure you are still in Sukhothai and she said yes yes...honest. I knew for a fact she was staying in Bkk with her daughter at the home she and her X lived in. Her X has another wife and lived in another province but let her stay there to visit her daughter while waiting for me to come back. Now, I ask myself do I want to go back to be with a lady that can not tell me the simple truth? How can there be a happy trusting life when all trust is gone.

I have stayed back in the USA since may and I do know she had another profile on TLL that she said was an old profile etc. I noticed she had another falang(on msn) she had talked to from there. She told me she was just on there to close that account(SURE) ughh.

So you can see why I just want out of this without losing my home and money. I do believe she wants me to come back but I am afraid to stay at her parents and familys home because of all of this. I feel bad for her being poor and understand some thai people are always in survival mode, but I don't want to be just another "statistic" I have lost any trust and could never be able to trust especially when most of the people that call her are called 'cousins" and 99% are male cousins.

That is the reason I wanted to stay and live in Chiang mai becuase of privacy reasons and I figured that if this woman really cared for me and loved me she would have no problem. I understand a woman wants security etc. which is normal but now she says she does not like Chiang mai and will only live in BKK or Sukhothai. Why the change? and if she is with me, then what is wrong with that? She says we can save money if we stay in her parents house. But the problem with that is many cousins and family always are coming and going. That is ok but I want my OWN home and we can visit her family just a couple hours away. Am I wrong?

I told her I needed to learn to speak thai better and then I would not mind if I was able to communicate better. I said I wanted to find a nice house and then buy a condo in Chiang mai and then later maybe we could move back to her town when I don't feel so much like an "outsider" I suppose the whole problem is she wants to call all the shots and tell me what we need to do even though I am the one who has to juggle the money to fit things so i don't lose my shirt and home. I think it is a lot cheaper to live in CM than Bkk or at her parents where the family always has another reason for needing money...ughhhh.....

We agreed at first to live in Cm and send money to her parents every month to help which I thouht was a good gesture. My question is)is there really a truck pmt) i asked to see the contract but to date I have seen anything. I just have her word for what her bills are.

Sorry for rambling on and on. .....ok, I tried my best to do everything to help her family.

back to the question, am I Iiable to pay her or get a judgement on me for support of her? I have decided I don't want to deal with the culture that can not be honest with me and just sees me as a way to live better.....I have no plans of getting married again or going back to Thailand unless there is a drastic change in her attitude and I feel safe. Can anyone tell me what my options are besides going back to thailand and trusting that she will willingly go get an easy divorce. Can I just stay in the USA and not worry anymore?

I am to the point of being a basket case..hehe....I realise i am not helping myself by still sending money to help her but on the other hand I feel sorry for her being in her situation also. Sending her money has put a strain on myself and my bills here in America also.

I do realize that she can show that she has depended on me for money for that last 8 months and maybe this could hurt me in a civil divorce case. I probably should just cut all ties and let her find someone else who can let her control all the situation but I am pretty certain this is why she is still single(so to speak). I am the kind of fellow that takes care of my own people and am generous on top.

But, when I lose all trust and her brother can just burn me without even trying to pay a tiny tiny bit back, where is the "thank you" at?

what kind of respect for me is that?.....where could I fit in except close to the ATM.....hmmm....thanks for reading this........anymore opinions will help.....thanks

And another thank you to mario2008............I apreciate the input!!

[XXpate48USA]

Well, here I am looking for advice as to how to get an easy divorce from a thai lady whom I met on the internet TK. I met her a year ago after chatting for several months. She had told me she was never married before nor had any children. She is a pretty lady and looks younger than her real age of 44. She did tell me she was 38 while chatting for about 5 months.

Since I made the trip to Bkk to meet her everything went good and had a nice time although she did have quite the termper and I assumed she had been spoiled etc. I let it all go and took most of the angry ourtbursts and usually within an hour or so she was back acting nice again.

We traveled and toured around most of Northern Thailand, Chiang Mai was where I had rented a condo and we stayed for 3 months. After 3 months I agreed to get a marriage license and assumed it was the same as in the US. In the USA you buy a license and then can get married at a later date. Welllllll, I quickly learned that by going to the Amphur "you are legally married at that time!!! period and is recognised in USA also. Now, my delemna is after finding out we are married at that exact time of going to the Amphur I learned of her 16 year old child that lived with the grandmother(I was told) but later found that it was her Xhusbands or bf's home. I do know that she and him are not on good terms and have split about 7 years ago. I of course was disheartened and a little angry that I had been lied to about many things.

Her main goal it has come to light that of course "money" and support is what she was looking for although I do believe she did care for me also, but support was the main goal. As you all know all Thai's think falang's are rich. Now, by thier standards I suppose I do look rich. I have a small pension and retired early in America. 120,000Baht total each month although I am still paying for all my bills etc in the USA. She does not seem to comprehend that 4000US per month is not Rich. I left Thailand after her many requests for money and yellow gold. Those items seemed most important rather than finding a nice home to rent in Chiang mai. Her parents live in Sukhothai and now her only answer is that she wants to live with her parents in a complete turn around from the first telling me she would live with me anywhere in Thailand.

The reason I did not want to live in Sukhothai was that her family seemed to think that they had a new unlimited source of funds each time I came to visit with her. Example: In April we went to her familys home in SUK. Her brother had asked her to ask me if he could borrow 13000Baht and would pay me back in 7 days. Ok, I trying to make her happyand be "jai dee" I gave the money and expected at least a small pmt. every month back,but since going on 9 months not a satang has been mentioned or paid back to me. I am not sure if it was her or her brother that had said pay me back in 7 days. Now, I believe it was her trying to show how good and generous I am and that I would just forget about it. Well, I am not a rich man and I do have my own bills.etc.

I left Thailand after only 5 months with her staying at a rented condo. I can't seem to find it in my heart to forgive out and out lies and deciet. I have learned that lieing is just a normal part of thai culture for self precurment. They just think falang are rich and no one can convince them any different. I also found out (she says) that she has a truck payment every month etc. I paid that reluctantly since none of this had been told to me before coming to meet her. I was also talked into buying 2 air conditioners for her parents home and build a new room that was mean't for us to stay in.

My thai wife had told me she had a job in Bkk that paid her 35,000baht per month and she wants me to pay her no 25,000baht per month and live with her family. I have stayed back in the USA now for 7 months with trying to figure out how to get this divorce or anulment without getting hit with half my pension gone. I became so dis-illusioned with the corruption in Thailand that I think it I could not deal with how thier culture operates. It seems to be a norm of her to just tell me what she thinks I need to hear and is always demanding she needs more money etc. I do think it is pressure from her brother and parents to extract as much money as they can from me. At one point she had said " I die soon" when she was angry I had not returned or given her the amount she wanted each month. She has also used very vulgar langauage with me that I would never expect a so called "good thai girl" to use. I have been sending on average about 10,000B a month for food for her and expenses. I am 59 and mostly healthy but I do need some medicines that I have to pay for and she counts the money I spend on medicines(about 8000Vaht) per month as money I spend on myself. Ughh..

With that language and the threat of "I die soon" etc has left me without wanting to return to be with a wife that can say that kind of thing nor take the chance of living with her family to one day not wake up. I do think it was just angry talk, but I am not willing to take that chance. I did think we loved each other when I was with her is how I got so involved the first time. She seems to be very close to this loser brother that I believe is using her to try and get as much as she can from "the Buffalo" stupid falang. Yes, I was very naive when I came to thailand and tried my best to trust in what she told me etc and learn how thier culture works. This was the reason I agreed to help her parents and her brother. I know her brother maybe makes 150B per day and I understand poor because I have been poor before myself and still consider myself only average wages in USA. When I have asked about the 13000baht loan to her, she gets upset and says I am complaining and stinky.

Anyway, I think you can get the just of this blog. I am wanting know some good advice as to how to get completely away from this woman and family without losing my shirt. I don't want to return to "the land of scams" (LOS) and I need to find out if she can go to court and get a judgment on my small pension and if a thai divorce court can have jusisdiction over an americans pension?. This is all she wants from me"money" or for me to stay with her and help make her parents house nice with my money. She refuses to go rent a nice home in CM with me and says thatwe can save if we stay at her parents home. The problem with that is we falang apreciate out own privacy and don't want to feel like a visitor all time time in a home we stay in where the Old man and Old lady(parents) control things while I pay the bills. Sound fun huh?...ughh.....My thoughts are if this lady(my wife) loved me she would be perfectly content to get ourt own home and make it nice and of course help her parents out with a few k per month while we live 300kilos from them. She says yes she will but first she wants the home in Sukhothai fixed up nice FIRST...I told her no problem but I want to have out OWN home first and then we can help make her parents home nice as we go along and visit etc.

Yes, anyone can see what this is about. She knows that one day that will be her home and she wants that done first. My happiness seems to come in down the line somewhere and of course I am being used for the $. sooo, now does anyone know or can give me some advice that if I just stay in the usa, can she go to court in thailand and get a judgment for supoort and be recognised in the usa?....If I felt safe, I would just go to Thailand and go get the easy divorce at the amphur we got marrried in. Buttt, I have visions of her thinking if I have an "accidental accident she becomes hier to my home and possesions in Amerca. I read too many storys of how many falang husbands seem to have suicide attempts jumping from balcony's etc. This does happen in Thailand many times and does not seem to get investigated very thoroughly.

Especially with those remarks about "i die soon" etc. and with the fact her youngest brother 46 can just borrow(steal) 13000baht and then not another word about it. I just think I would be a dead duck to go try making a life with her. Yes, I am totally dis-illusioned with Thaialnd and I just want OUT with getting skinned alive literaly and finacially. Money IS what matters MOST in the( Land of Smiles) I'm not smiling!! and please, if anyone can give me advice on how or what to do to protect myself from this greedy woman and her family and can she get a judgment in a thai court that can take part or half of my pension?....I was only in Thailand for 5 months total and lived in a hotel 3 months after going to the amphur(married). Am I in big trouble or do I have to worry?....I would sure apreciate any advise on any of this.....thanks

This should be a new topic, but

No you are not married just by visiting the Amphur's office.

To be legally married, you must obtain a letter from your consul saying that you are free to marry, with a certified translation from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

You and your finance then go to the Amphur's office with these documets, and passport/ID card and register your marriage.

The Amphur will then issue a marriage license.

If you have gone through this process it should not come as a surprise that you left the Amphur's office a married man.

So what did happen ?

Thank you, for your reply, Johna

I did go to the embassy and get the "freedom to marry" afidavit! We had a local visa agency do the work. I just assumed that we needed this to get the license. When we finally went to the anphur, we had all the papers needed, passport and other documents.

In the amphur no one spoke enlgish and I depended on her to do the talking and when I asked what the papers said, she just said she would tell me after we are done. I trusted her! I know, I know. I was very stupid for not having someone translate. In America two people go to the local court building and buy a license and I assumed it was the same. I did not want marriage at that exact time although I did agree to marry her and get the license. Then later have the ceromony (I was naive) yessssssss or stupid

Now, the next day I questioned her as to what the papers said and she said she would get it translated for me.

After hearing her call and talk to this youg lady (16 yrs old) I wondered why she and her had so many phone calls to each other. I asked who and why she called so much. I then started thinking something else, that this may be someone other than a young girl she was close to and wanted to help her. Ok, I finally said "that is your own daughter, right" my wife said no, it is her brothers child and she feels the need to help her. She then went on to explain that she wrote down on the marriage papers the girls name. I asked why would you write down her name if she was not your own daughter since this was between her and I only(I thought).

Finally, I just looked her straight in the eye and said "she is your daughter, right" and she gave me the dear in the headlights look.

She then confessed. I then assumed the reason for all the lieing about this young girl, In thailand I think that thai men think a women is used merchandise if they have a child or have been married before. Ok, I thought about it and I understood and I told her it is no problem, "I understand and forgive you" just always tell the truth. We falang understand and don't think the same as (some/most) thai men and can easily accept a relationship from the past. At any rate, her daughters name was now on our marriage papers.( I never met or saw this child) Now I am thinking am I going to be responsible for child support for this 16 year old girl now?....Of course anyone would know I am not the blood father as I had only been in Thailand for a few months and never 16 years ago to be the father. But not knowing the Thai laws, did I sign anything that says I will support this child and be legally binding? I think it was just a marriage license we got (I hope).

We did both get a copy of a legal paper and I now know that it is an actual marriage license, so yes, we are legally married. Thailand I know we can just go back to the amphur to get a legal divorce BUT with the threats she had given me more than once. I know thai ladys have a reputation for angry outbursts, but "I die soon"..hmm....I don't think it is wise for me to go back to try to do this amicably. I don't know another soul in Thailand other than her family and I am sure they are not pleased with me for being gone so long. I would have been back with her in Thailand back in july if she hadn't kept lieing to me about where she was. I literally asked her 10 times, are you sure you are still in Sukhothai and she said yes yes...honest. I knew for a fact she was staying in Bkk with her daughter at the home she and her X lived in. Her X has another wife and lived in another province but let her stay there to visit her daughter while waiting for me to come back. Now, I ask myself do I want to go back to be with a lady that can not tell me the simple truth? How can there be a happy trusting life when all trust is gone.

I have stayed back in the USA since may and I do know she had another profile on TLL that she said was an old profile etc. I noticed she had another falang(on msn) she had talked to from there. She told me she was just on there to close that account(SURE) ughh.

So you can see why I just want out of this without losing my home and money. I do believe she wants me to come back but I am afraid to stay at her parents and familys home because of all of this. I feel bad for her being poor and understand some thai people are always in survival mode, but I don't want to be just another "statistic" I have lost any trust and could never be able to trust especially when most of the people that call her are called 'cousins" and 99% are male cousins.

That is the reason I wanted to stay and live in Chiang mai becuase of privacy reasons and I figured that if this woman really cared for me and loved me she would have no problem. I understand a woman wants security etc. which is normal but now she says she does not like Chiang mai and will only live in BKK or Sukhothai. Why the change? and if she is with me, then what is wrong with that? She says we can save money if we stay in her parents house. But the problem with that is many cousins and family always are coming and going. That is ok but I want my OWN home and we can visit her family just a couple hours away. Am I wrong?

I told her I needed to learn to speak thai better and then I would not mind if I was able to communicate better. I said I wanted to find a nice house and then buy a condo in Chiang mai and then later maybe we could move back to her town when I don't feel so much like an "outsider" I suppose the whole problem is she wants to call all the shots and tell me what we need to do even though I am the one who has to juggle the money to fit things so i don't lose my shirt and home. I think it is a lot cheaper to live in CM than Bkk or at her parents where the family always has another reason for needing money...ughhhh.....

We agreed at first to live in Cm and send money to her parents every month to help which I thouht was a good gesture. My question is)is there really a truck pmt) i asked to see the contract but to date I have seen anything. I just have her word for what her bills are.

Sorry for rambling on and on. .....ok, I tried my best to do everything to help her family.

back to the question, am I Iiable to pay her or get a judgement on me for support of her? I have decided I don't want to deal with the culture that can not be honest with me and just sees me as a way to live better.....I have no plans of getting married again or going back to Thailand unless there is a drastic change in her attitude and I feel safe. Can anyone tell me what my options are besides going back to thailand and trusting that she will willingly go get an easy divorce. Can I just stay in the USA and not worry anymore?

I am to the point of being a basket case..hehe....I realise i am not helping myself by still sending money to help her but on the other hand I feel sorry for her being in her situation also. Sending her money has put a strain on myself and my bills here in America also.

I do realize that she can show that she has depended on me for money for that last 8 months and maybe this could hurt me in a civil divorce case. I probably should just cut all ties and let her find someone else who can let her control all the situation but I am pretty certain this is why she is still single(so to speak). I am the kind of fellow that takes care of my own people and am generous on top.

But, when I lose all trust and her brother can just burn me without even trying to pay a tiny tiny bit back, where is the "thank you" at?

what kind of respect for me is that?.....where could I fit in except close to the ATM.....hmmm....thanks for reading this........anymore opinions will help.....thanks

And another thank you to mario2008............I apreciate the input!!

Not to mention today I found that she had gone to the"procescuters office to file some sort of thing which I can not decipher as it is in thai.

Now I am a little suspicious of an illegal filing to get me arrested upon rerturning to maybe get some $ for whatever false charge she had come up with...oh boy.....I would be a dead duck in her town if that happened. But, why was her email address attatched to something from the human right =prosecuting attorneys office?....hmmmm......Now I am really afraid. I now and thinkng if I come back I get arrested for whatever offense she has filed and then I pay to get out of it......how sneaky some can be......knowing that she can not get anything from a divorce then maybe this way she can squeeze me good......a falang charged in thailand would never stand a chance.

Am going back?.....haha....oh surrrrrrrrre.......all I can read is that it was last week and was at the prosecuting attorneys office......why didn't she mention this to me???....we talk every day....ughh....Iasked her about this and just got some lame excuse of looking for a job....

Ok, I've had enough.....i translated part of it and it said something about a young lady and ....profile-1062 I think and inquiring about something.....why is it I can't get a REAL answer to what it is and why she went there?.....I have heard about Thai ladys filing false charges to do whatever on falang husbands.....yikesssssssssss....

why would this place be a place she had gone without telling me a word about it.....โดย สำนักงานอัยการพิเศษฝ่ายคุ้มครองสิทธิ....action profile u 1060

Edited December 10, 2010 by XXpate48USA

[johna]

สำนักงานอัยการพิเศษฝ่ายคุ้มครองสิทธิ.

Special Rights Protection Division Office of Attorney General

http://www.humanrights.ago.go.th/

[XXpate48USA]

สำนักงานอัยการพิเศษฝ่ายคุ้มครองสิทธิ.

Special Rights Protection Division Office of Attorney General

http://www.humanrights.ago.go.th/

Thank you! Yes, that was why I was wondering a to why she had told me some jibberish about a job etc. and also asked if I had been in her email. I thought later that maybe it was some trouble she had gotten herself into. She wouldn't say much. I asked her when her daughters birthday was ec. and she was evasive and not wanting to tell me for some reason.

So all I know when I typed her email address into google that came up http://www.humanrights.ago.go.th and the a cached page written in Thai and was done in November 17 at that office and clearly her email address was on the form. Maybe I am too paranoid but I have just heard too many story's and also too many lies from my wife...Yes, I wish there was a way to get this divorce without having to

go back to Thailand. As anyone can see, I am just not sure about any of this. The prosecuting atorney could have been for something else she or her daughter was involved with. That was the reason I had asked her about why she had gone to that office.

Her reasoning about job hunting just didn't ad up, since this was the "human right" special prosecutors office. There was mention of a young girl with a birthday that was not my wifes.

I apreciate the imput from all of you and the information that in Thailand there is no requirement for support of an X wife ot wife that can be enforced, Only child support which naturally I can see., So as long as I just let her file in time, I think 12 months. She can get that on her own. She can get the money from the Brother that borrowed from me as far as I see it. That seems fair since I paid almost 100,000baht towards helping parents and brothers etc. This is just a sad state of affairs when a culrure does not look at lieing as lieing. It is looked at as a way to "avoid conflict" ..But this does not make a good marriage. When there is no trust, then what do you have?....But, this is not USA and is thier way. I suppose a person has to be a certain type to be able to handle always wondering "if" that was true or this was true or whatever. Sad situation. I understand poor and I feel sympathy for many in that situation. I of course would have been more than willing to "offer" my help rather than being expected or asked for money all the time. It does not give me a "fuzzy" feeling knowing I am there for one main purpose and on the rung of importance down the line from #1 parents#2 siblings#3 her child#4 the dog#5 and I am in there after these as far as importance...hmm..

Thanks again!...I think the start of this thread was a man in Oz that was pretty much in the same boat as me. If he does not plan on getting married again. Then he can just stay put and let her deal with it. Most times it seems that when a falang marrys a Thai lady and brings her to His country, the lady usually starts missing home(3-4) months, and her family and heads back or stays and divorces the fellow in his country which is a big mistake because then he would be responsible to pay for her since he sponsored and signed an afifavit ofsupport and has to put his wife as total hier to his asertts(everything) and it is best to go live in Thailand if it works out between the two and he is lucky enough to meet an honorable Thai lady without the greed involved,. My best advice to any man attempting to go live and marry a Thai to Never Never live close to her family. You will be sucked dry until you are broke and or disillutioned with life in LOS. Be ready at all times to watch your wallet and always have a good attorney at hand. Don't loan any money...give it! if you can afford it. You most likely will never see a satang back so the best way is to just help and don't worry but never over extend yourself to help someone. It will be expected over and over....Always have a way back home!!!!!...If your lady loves you, she will happily live with you anywhere in Thailand!!!...after all, YOU traveled half way around the world for her, now why can't she live a few hours drive from the rest of the family?....aren't You family too?........And always remember love=money in LOS.

[TAWP]

You are not liable for child support for her child, only if you legally adopted her.

And that isn't done on a marriage form.

[dmax]

have just asked the wife about this, she said they both have to be there, go to amphur, sign the papers, in and out in 20 minutes. simples !!!

Edited December 11, 2010 by dmax

[XXpate48USA]

have just asked the wife about this, she said they both have to be there, go to amphur, sign the papers, in and out in 20 minutes. simples !!!

Thanks! knew it was easy to do that way. As I stated obove the threats I have gotten has made me reluctant to go back since she is the only person other than her brothers that I know there and with the straight out lies to get money I just don't feel comfortable being at her home by myself and her family. The only way she could get anything from me(Now) is with the accidental accident. I do believe some of those threats as to "I DIE SOON" was just a spoiled 43 year old angry, spoiled, thai girl(I HOPE). But what would you do? go back and take that chance?...or just sit tight and stay in the USA.

I had just read a thread about lieing and this is one reason that no one (us falang's) can ever know what the truth of anything is once you hear so many lies and have been out and out cheated to get a loan. There was never any intention of paying that back. It was just what her brother had to tell me to get the cash loan. Now he is driving a newer car and supposedly has quit his job according to her. But, I think I just helped him make part of his down payment etc. Has no intentions of giving me a satang back.

The thread I had just read sure hit home talking about the lies. Soon you will never know what is true and what isn't. I don't believe there is a chance in heck of ever having any trust and of course it's just the money and support. I do feel better knowing that I haven't lost half of my income pension foever.

The stupid part of that whole thing is that I have always been a generous person and have always been for the underdog. I never have a problem giving or loaning anything I have as long as I am not just being scammed. I have come to the conclusion that most of us falang are looked at as being stupid and will give help when asked. They think it is stupidity and don't understand it is "heart" and generousity. ...I have to call it quits, but I do feel sad that she can not be forthright and honest about anything. I suppose it's is why so many marriages fail in a thai/falang relationship. It's a tough call for me, but is best to use my head rather than my heart in this situation. The funny part of it all is I would have given anything I had to help out as long as the responsibilitys of the bills and everything was paid first. That does not seem to fit into Thai thinking, at least with her. If I send 20,000baht it is gone fast and if I send only 5000 to help with food etc. then I am called stinky...hehe...who knows, ya can't win either way and as long as any trust is not there, what is left?.....you by yourself half way around the world with a wife(and her family) that is supposed to be a "best friend" as well as wife and love. ...It's just money......very sad.....

Why do thai people always feel a need to lie even when it is nothing that important? I don't get it!....I am not about to spend the rest of my young(or last of my vital years) wondering if I am being lied to about this or that. ....No one can build on that kind of relationship. Nor will I go live with her parents when I am in my late 50's and used to my own home. Nope, just won't and can't do it. There was never a problem helping her parents or visiting often or even living fairly close(we agreed first). But I think as long as we lived close to her family I would be chewed up and spit out and when I am so worn out, and broke, I would be dumped for a newbie......just my gut feeling and I am sticking with it.

I will say it is a hard thing to do to just tell her goodbye and end it like that but. Is a wife supposed to say "F__you" when she is angry?

or demand I live where she says? Is that a man or is that a man that has lost all self respect that could let himself be pushed around and told whatever to get what she wants?

I know even in America I never was talked to like that and I had always thought that thai ladys had some sort of respect for thier husbands and tried hard to please etc. I have always been a fair and not demanding man and always had a lady that treated me much better than that. I never had to look for a womans attention and never had a problem with a woman being interested in me. Why have I let this little Thai lady be that way to me? hmm-they are good at it!!....making you care about them!

I think I have let too much slide by and not taken a tough enough stand and now she thinks that threats will make me get back in line. ,,hmm.....she sure has the wrong idea about me....It was/is a very learning experience for sure. ...well, pay day is close so the phone calls everyday are getting nicer. hehe.......

I will say, I feel bad for her but I think she never got taught how to treat a man and she was the youngest child and only girl out of 6 kids so she was spoiled in a lot of ways. I do believe that her parents used her to go work because she is very beautiful and pretty and see her as as "money maker" whether it be by snagging a falang or whatever means they can get the money and don't think about the concequences of what that pressure has done to her life. I just see too much greed from her mother and father and youngest brother(48) .....In thai culture it is brainwashed into the daughters to do what ever it takes to get the money and send it home. I think she wants to run away but just can't ....it's too ingrained into herself and the culture for her to say NO, I am having my own life......she told me her mother said she was afraid i would sell her if she came to tour in my country usa......what?.....does her mother see her as a commodity?.to sell? my god!....I think yes!!...her mother is 80yrs old.

Why is it her that has to get the car pmt for the truck her whole familyn uses?....is that just a lie?...is it all just a lie?....and the two air conditioners I paid for and had installed are not being used. Why? because I am not there to pay the electric bills and I am sure they will be sold in time because the "old man" does not want to pay the electric bills when using them.

.and I am supposed to go figure all of that out myself without any proof of anything....ughh..... I will say that having a thai wife will drive you nuts trying to figure out what is what...ughh,...

I have asked to see the contract of the car loan....but to this day , nothing to show me. ...why haven't she introduced me to her 16 year old daughter after half a year?....let alone tell her daughter anything etc......she said it would be too tramatic for her daughter to learn she is married to me.....WHAT?.....16 years old?.....can't take in the idea her mother has a new life?......

does all this sound like I am seeking counsel?..haha.....sorry.....I just wanted to get some input from other people who have had similar experiences and some "outside advice" of what I have gotten myself into......thanks for everyone that has replied....I do apreciate it!!!.........:jap: