How Many Ex Farang Boyfriends Is Too Many

[StreetCowboy]

I think 1 previous, is 1 too many.

Thai ladies learn to take charge of weak western men very quickly.

Best not to have a previous western male spoil it for you.

I'm sure many will disagree with me, but Thai guys just don't take the same shit, that many of us allow.

I 100% agree, but i would also like to advice the poster, not to blame the other bloke, he din't rape her, she went willingly

aim all of your anger at her, she deserves it. Now what you have to do is apply to the Thai courts to obtain some type of custody or failing that access

to you're son. Best of luck

I thought OP was planning on being the 'other bloke'

SC

[GooEng]

umm, i'd just like to like to add that i think it's a commonly held misconception amongst farang guys here that thai men are not subjected to the same sort of money grabbing behaviour and other "eccentricities" by thai women that we are.

well i have a good few thai mates and i can say for a fact that they often get exactly the same sort of treatment by the women here that farang men do. the difference seems to be that the thai blokes give as good as they get and generally have a less self-pitying view of it, where as farangs(even those who SHOULD KNOW BETTER) tend to whine about it incessantly.

Edited November 12, 2010 by joe ekkamai

[sarahsbloke]

umm, i'd just like to like to add that i think it's a commonly held misconception amongst farang guys here that thai men are not subjected to the same sort of money grabbing behaviour and other "eccentricities" by thai women that we are.

well i have a good few thai mates and i can say for a fact that they often get exactly the same sort of treatment by the women here that farang men do. the difference seems to be that the thai blokes give as good as they get and generally have a less self-pitying view of it, where as farangs(even those who SHOULD KNOW BETTER) tend to whine about it incessantly.

Edited November 12, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[andrewbkk]

I think 1 previous, is 1 too many.

Thai ladies learn to take charge of weak western men very quickly.

Best not to have a previous western male spoil it for you.

I'm sure many will disagree with me, but Thai guys just don't take the same shit, that many of us allow.

I 100% agree, but i would also like to advice the poster, not to blame the other bloke, he din't rape her, she went willingly

aim all of your anger at her, she deserves it. Now what you have to do is apply to the Thai courts to obtain some type of custody or failing that access

to you're son. Best of luck

Nope. No anger at all. Sure, initially there was. But not now.

I wrote to STICKMAN and told him abut this. He said that it is actually illegal here in Thailand for a man to have sex with another man's wife. He suggested suing.

Problem is -- of course -- we were never married.

Regarding custody, no. I'll let that go. I think the best way forward is to refrain from all contact for several months and then gradually try to develop some sort of friendship in order that my son's mother and I can establish a kind of pseudo family.

At first I read numerous horror stories about the emotional effects of divorce on young children. But when I spoke to "real" people in the "real" world, the general consensus was that children are much more adaptable than most people realize and are able to adjust to divorce or separation surprisingly quickly with little or no long term damage.

Getting back to my original post though, I'm fairly sure now that this type of thing would NEVER have happened had my ex not had a history of farang exes.

Next time I will be very careful. If a new girl comes along and says that she broke up with a former farang boyfriend because "he didn't take care of me or my family properly" I will understand. Basically the ex didn't pay the green because either he didn't want to pay or he simply got bored paying it, and then she buggered off.

And in all probability, he's much better off without her. Let's be honest gentleman, who wants to live with a parasite.

Edited November 12, 2010 by andrewbkk

[guavagirl]

I am assuming that most of you men have dated a farang lady at some point in your life. Did any of these ladies ask you for money at any point? Especially right at the start of the relationship?

[IanForbes]

I am assuming that most of you men have dated a farang lady at some point in your life. Did any of these ladies ask you for money at any point? Especially right at the start of the relationship?

Money? No, but they certainly expected me to wine them and dine them... at my expense of course. Then, after we got married they wanted the big house on the hill with all the furnishings.

How many women have been invited out for supper and then asked to pay her half of the bill? What about all those trophy women who hang around the wealthy men hoping to hook one? They certainly aren't looking for the part time mechanic at a local garage. They go where the money is. Then, there are all groupie women who hang around celebrities and sports stars.

The average looking Joe or Jane eventually just get together because there are few other options. They get married, have a so-so sex life, both gain about 40 extra pounds and settle down to a life of boredom. Then, 20 years down the road they wonder what happened. I see it all the time in America, Australia and the UK.

You can't compare what goes on in Thailand with what happens in western countries.

[khunsiam]

I feel for you too Andrew...do you know if he's married to a belgian woman? I'm in Belgium, might do you a favor if you like.

[sarahsbloke]

I am assuming that most of you men have dated a farang lady at some point in your life. Did any of these ladies ask you for money at any point? Especially right at the start of the relationship?

They didn't ask at the very start, most of them waited until the next morning!

[IanForbes]

Gee, I share my Thai girl friends with many men. Either that or the other guys share them with me. We don't compare stories but everyone seems happy. As long as I've got the money the girls are happy and they Keep me happy. You can't wear them out and there are always replacements. I'm not sure what the problem is here. I guess some men just don't like to share. Hey, when I was married to my first wife ( Australian) it was like little Peyton Place with all the goings on within my wife's group of friends. Everyone was shagging everyone else. I stayed out of it, but came to realize what hypocrites so many people are. I'm sure glad she freed me up to endulge myself. Life has never been so good.

[andrewbkk]

Gee, I share my Thai girl friends with many men. Either that or the other guys share them with me.

Sorry to break it to you, but you don't have any Thai girlfriends. What you have are "hangers on", parasites and prostitutes. There's not necessarily anything wrong with that. If you're happy with superficial "relationships" then go for it. Be happy.

I'm not sure what the problem is here. I guess some men just don't like to share.

That's a very curious comment. My guess is that you don't have children.

[khunsiam]

Right on, Andrew! Ian is talking about working girls at work and no kids involved.

I found a picture of a wedding ring:

[IanForbes]

Gee, I share my Thai girl friends with many men. Either that or the other guys share them with me.

Sorry to break it to you, but you don't have any Thai girlfriends. What you have are "hangers on", parasites and prostitutes. There's not necessarily anything wrong with that. If you're happy with superficial "relationships" then go for it. Be happy.

I'm not sure what the problem is here. I guess some men just don't like to share.

That's a very curious comment. My guess is that you don't have children.

I've got two grown offspring that I'm very close to and 3 grand kids. If I want a friend to talk to I'll pick another man. We've got more in common. If I want a bed mate then I'll pick an attractive woman who enjoys sex. My girlfriends are just that ... female and friends. I wouldn't call any of them parasites. I reserve that term for politicians, a few large corporation CEOs, most CEOs of banks, and some lawyers. The ladies provide a service and are good at what they do. That is more than I can say for many people.

[fishman]

so would a string of exThai BFs be ok?

What difference would it make if she wasn't a bar girl?

[IanForbes]

so would a string of exThai BFs be ok?

What difference would it make if she wasn't a bar girl?

I understand entirely where you are coming from. What does it really matter how many ex-boyfriends there are if the lady spends good qualtiy time with you? I know lots of men who have fat, bitchy wives who never screw around on them. Of course, they seldom screw their husbands either. Who wants someone who looks like the back end of a buffalo if they are also miserable to get along with? I would say that at least 60% of North Americans get 30 pounds or more overweight after they get married. That goes for both men and women. I look around when out shopping and can't say I would take any more than 10% of them home with me if I could have any any of them from 17 to 70. Give me the Thai bar girl any day. At least I know what I have for a short time and I can pay them to leave afterward. It's not so easy getting rid of a wife, and I can guarantee it's a whole lot more expensive.

As far as I can see the only reason to be married is having children. You've got to do some thorough searching before finding a woman who will be a good mother and also a reasonable wife. And, after you are married, you can pretty much kiss off all your freedom for the next 25 years or more.

[andrewbkk]

I've got two grown offspring that I'm very close to and 3 grand kids. If I want a friend to talk to I'll pick another man. We've got more in common. If I want a bed mate then I'll pick an attractive woman who enjoys sex. My girlfriends are just that ... female and friends. I wouldn't call any of them parasites. I reserve that term for politicians, a few large corporation CEOs, most CEOs of banks, and some lawyers. The ladies provide a service and are good at what they do. That is more than I can say for many people.

Hey dude -- good to hear you're close to your children. That's a sign of a real man.

You say "My girlfriends are just that ... female and friends". At this point our terminology differs. I don't regard women like this as girlfriends.

As for parasites, you talk about politicians and lawyers. But you missed out ex-wives?!

Enjoy your time in Thailand.

[andrewbkk]

Right on, Andrew! Ian is talking about working girls at work and no kids involved.

I found a picture of a wedding ring:

Yep -- seen that photo and many others like it.

But I'm over all of that now. It all kicked in about four months ago, but it took much less time than I initially thought to get good again.

I used to read some really helpful stuff on a forum called loveshack.org. There's actually a wealth of intelligent, well-written information out there regarding infidelity, divorce and separation.

These days I focus much more on my son. I picked him up from school today. He looks like a proper little farang boy and he seems just fine!

[StreetCowboy]

Sorry to harp back to the Original Post but "Ex-Farang"? They can't ALL have gone bush, surely?

SC

Like ex-parrots.... or ex-patriots....

SC

[Panhandler007]

Andy,

Thats an old and tired story in Thailand! Watch out

[StreetCowboy]

Andy,

Thats an old and tired story in Thailand! Watch out

THat's why we let it sleep so long; the thread will get all grumpy now you've woken it up...

SC

[ableguy]

I say 1 is too many.

IMO there is something not quite right with a girl who will date only Westerners and Not Thai's....

That said I'm sure there are many good relationships out there where the GF has ex Western boyfriends, but to be honest, of the couples I know where the lady has had Western Ex BF's I have also wondered about her motives.

Bingo! The motive is money. Many of these girls are little more than prostitutes in disguise.

Wow what perception, everything in Thailand is money, everything.

[ableguy]

I've got two grown offspring that I'm very close to and 3 grand kids. If I want a friend to talk to I'll pick another man. We've got more in common. If I want a bed mate then I'll pick an attractive woman who enjoys sex. My girlfriends are just that ... female and friends. I wouldn't call any of them parasites. I reserve that term for politicians, a few large corporation CEOs, most CEOs of banks, and some lawyers. The ladies provide a service and are good at what they do. That is more than I can say for many people.

Hey dude -- good to hear you're close to your children. That's a sign of a real man.

You say "My girlfriends are just that ... female and friends". At this point our terminology differs. I don't regard women like this as girlfriends.

As for parasites, you talk about politicians and lawyers. But you missed out ex-wives?!

Enjoy your time in Thailand.

Quite a civilised chat, congrats

[zzaa09]

The answer is the same as the answer to this question: "For normal farang men (or "real" farang men), how many ex Thai girlfriends is too many?"

Yes. Perfectly alright for us but not for them......

[IanForbes]

The answer is the same as the answer to this question: "For normal farang men (or "real" farang men), how many ex Thai girlfriends is too many?"

Yes. Perfectly alright for us but not for them......

Which reminds me of that old line... "I'm not married, but my wife is."

[corkman]

I say 1 is too many.

IMO there is something not quite right with a girl who will date only Westerners and Not Thai's....

That said I'm sure there are many good relationships out there where the GF has ex Western boyfriends, but to be honest, of the couples I know where the lady has had Western Ex BF's I have also wondered about her motives.

Bingo! The motive is money. Many of these girls are little more than prostitutes in disguise.

I disagree with the idea that "there is something not quite right with a girl who will date only Westerners and Not Thai's", on the basis of:

( a ) Thai men can treat their women like shit (to be blunt, sorry) - generally, a western man will treat a woman better. So, some girl who has had a bit of exposure to western culture (which can happen in many ways) and has bad experience with an ex-thai boyfriend or a close frined has had a bad experience, then the Western expeirence seems the way to go.

( b ) Lots of girls study over seas..... Europe, America, etc. Well I know lots of girls that have. During their time there many have adapted to "our" culture, and while there found the liberation that all their younf western fellow students found......

( c ) It is no doubt true that money is a motivating factor...... but back in the real world did you ever notice how all the classy looking, sexy, best looking women seem to go for the stock brokers, solicitors, accountants, etc. ............ conversely, blokes do the same back in the real world - if you know you're a high roller you don't pick up a rotten looking girl, generally.......... are they all "prostitutes in disguise"? Moreover, I do not find it as distasteful that Thai women are as biased as they are toward seeking financial security...... Thailand and Thai culture is not the same as ours, and quite literally if you don't have the money to survive then you won't......

Seriously guys - "a fool and his money are easily parted" ....... if you are fool enough to fall for a crass gold digger, well what can I say...... everyone wants the finer things in life...... but rather than asking yourself "is she dating me bacuase I am a farang", perhaps ask yourself "is she dating me because I am the nicest farang she could find"...... and how different is that from many other realationships?

People can't keep up an act forever.... if you find yourself in doubt, then take you time...... if she's a shark she will show her true colours sooner or later...... if she "appears" to be keeping her options open, then keep yours open too, and see how she reacts! Thai's and particualrly Thai women (even those that have spent alot of time in the west) are extremely jealous creatures - if your beloved continues to "make" new male farang friends and keeps up the realtionship with the ones she has, then you have to ask yourself her motives....... because she won't be a happy bunny with you if you've got a string of potential candidates on your speed dial list!

Edited March 20, 2011 by corkman