Wai-ing Others

[cdnvic]

Does social status mean how much money one has or is it they have a powerful

position say in the government or something like that?

I think how a person views this reflects their character. To people who find $$$ important above all, you will see them wai "money". Others will wai age, character, and virtue.

To me it would make more sense to wai a 20yr old illiterate who carries someone out of a burning building than the 50yr old exec who watches the whole episode from his BMW.

cv

[sriracha john]

When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a benevolent bunch of farang we are to teach Thais about Thai culture...

[bina]

i get wei'd to.. mostly since i am an employer, but i wei back, briefly always.... i wei deeper to the 'foreman' of the group of course; i get wei'd more by workers that havent seen me for a while where as the ones i talk to every day, do not wei every time, unless they are requesting something, or i bring something (six pack, whatever); also, there is always a race between me and the 'foreman' (huua naa) of the group to give each other a cigarette

we did have a christian thai group that i hosted (will write about THAT later); i wei'd since i was hosting them and they were all older then me .... i wei'd especially deeply when offerred a gift

my 17 yr old daughter , photoing the event was offerred a gift, she wei'd very nicely and received her gift and did not rush off to open it as most israelis do, she put it to the side to open later (i was very proud of her).... all in all, it seems my workers have taught me well (they say i know to 'khap khao' -- serve rice and food like a issaan thai mother also) i learned by getting elbowed by sompong if i didnt do something appropriate

watch and learn, watch and learn

[chownah]

When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a benevolent bunch of farang we are to teach Thais about Thai culture...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In my village helping small children to learn polite etiquette is not considered to be a sign of benevolence, it is the sign of being a good family member or neighbor.

[HarryHacker]

....always when you get pulled over by the traffic cops, works a treat. ;-)

[Nordlys]

Some posters have said to not wai children.  I've been taught that it is always polite to return anyone's wai but it is not impolite to not return a childs wai.  I return wai to children unless preoccupied with something else.....also, very young children who are learning how to wai..I ALWAYS return their wai as this helps them to learn and I also usually reply with 'gehn gehn gehn'  which means something like 'clever clever clever' which is praise that all children love to hear.  When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed with chownah. Just because you're a foreigner doesn't mean you can't be a good role model/example of the customs of the adopted land. I should learn to do that too. Good attitude.

[sadman]

The wai is the Thai greeting and show of respect, indicated by pressing your palms together near your chest and bowing. Why wai? As a foreigner, you will show and receive respect by following this customary greeting, although many Thais will also (somewhat reluctantly) accept a handshake from you.

When I meet my best Thai friends after not seeing them for a while (usually returning from abroad), I initiate the wai, which they return, then they offer their hand and we shake hands. My friends range from the MD of a large company to a restaurant manager, but I see nothing odd in showing my respect and pleasure to see them, no matter what their social station. I respect the person, not the bank balance.

I may well be wrong, but I believe everyone is worthy of respect unless they prove otherwise.

[saraburioz]

Perhaps waiing customs vary in different regions. I live in the north and in my village you don't see people waiing much in thier daily lives. It seems that here people don't wai the people that they see most everyday. It is a rare event when I see my wife waii anyone while in our village. Here it seems that people follow the same rules of waiing that the other posts explain but it is done mostly if you haven't seen the person for some time. For instance if I haven't seen mom for a week I'll wai her on arrival....my wife sees mom every day so she never wais her except for special events like songkhran. Children initiate wais the most....but, for instance, children do not wai the family members they live with upon returning from school but if someone is at their home who does not live there, either a family member or not, the children often will wai the visitor.

Some posters have said to not wai children. I've been taught that it is always polite to return anyone's wai but it is not impolite to not return a childs wai. I return wai to children unless preoccupied with something else.....also, very young children who are learning how to wai..I ALWAYS return their wai as this helps them to learn and I also usually reply with 'gehn gehn gehn' which means something like 'clever clever clever' which is praise that all children love to hear. When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

Sounds like you have a good understanding of the wai, mate. Unlike many others here.

I once had a work colleaugue who called the security guard at work "nong" as he knew so much about Thai etiquette. Plonker, as the guard was about 65 years old and my colleague 35.

it takes a while to learn how to wai, by observing how thais doing it.

I have seen some western guys get waied by their wives in public - careful here, a typical ploy of the Thai woman to make the man feel important, then ask for something. If your gf wais you in public, she is taking the piss.

Carefulwhen starting the wai, as then you will have to continue it. if you stop then you are like to caose some faceloss.

[Tornado]

....always when you get pulled over by the traffic cops, works a treat. ;-)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

aint that the truth.

[Joey Boy]

I find waving @ em and not even bothering to stop works a bit better

[RamdomChances]

Perhaps waiing customs vary in different regions.  I live in the north and in my village you don't see people waiing much in thier daily lives.  It seems that here people don't wai the people that they see most everyday.  It is a rare event when I see my wife waii anyone while in our village.  Here it seems that people follow the same rules of waiing that the other posts explain but it is done mostly if you haven't seen the person for some time.  For instance if I haven't seen mom for a week I'll wai her on arrival....my wife sees mom every day so she never wais her except for special events like songkhran.  Children initiate wais the most....but, for instance, children do not wai the family members they live with upon returning from school but if someone is at their home who does not live there, either a family member or not, the children often will wai the visitor.

Some posters have said to not wai children.  I've been taught that it is always polite to return anyone's wai but it is not impolite to not return a childs wai.  I return wai to children unless preoccupied with something else.....also, very young children who are learning how to wai..I ALWAYS return their wai as this helps them to learn and I also usually reply with 'gehn gehn gehn'  which means something like 'clever clever clever' which is praise that all children love to hear.  When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I dont think its just a northen thing as its pretty much the same as here. Oh I have seen children wai'ing their parents when they come home from school , not that comman though. We get a lot of different people around the shop, a sure fire way of knowing weather I should wai someone is if my mother-in-law introduces me

[sua yai]

Following on from a point Tukyleith made about getting a handshake, rather than a wai.

A number of years ago, my parents came over to see me. They are well travelled, but it was their first time in los. My ex g/f was really worried about how to greet them at the airport. Did she wai or offer a handshake? Did she address them by their Christian names or Mr, Mrs?

I mentioned this in an e-mail to them and got the reply I deserved - "she does what she feels is right and is comfortable with".

I've always followed that principle here. It's natural to wai my wife's mother and father and monks etc.

Other than that, if it dosn't feel right to me, I don't do it, but just say hello etc.

[sbk]

I've got a good wai story too. I was at a cousin's funeral (husband has lots) and the younger brother of my husband's sister-in-law (brother's wife's younger brother just to be confusing) wai'd my husband and nodded his head at me. Which then prompted my husband's aunt to smack him on the arm and say "you wai to Pi Na as well" He promptly wai'd. Guess he figured he didn't need to wai the farang, never mind that I had been living in Thailand about 10 years at that time

I wai to my inlaws when I go back to the US (drop in to say bye and give a wai) as well as when I return. That is it. I see them all the time and it is not necessary. I will wai older relatives when I haven't seen them for some time. But, at my advanced age most anyone younger than me here (social status isn't quite so important out in the boonies) wais me first.

Edited August 17, 2005 by sbk

[terdsak_12]

I wai only as a last resort, as a Farang a polite nod tends to work.

[baht&sold]

Does social status mean how much money one has or is it they have a powerful

position say in the government or something like that?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think how a person views this reflects their character. To people who find $$$ important above all, you will see them wai "money". Others will wai age, character, and virtue.

To me it would make more sense to wai a 20yr old illiterate who carries someone out of a burning building than the 50yr old exec who watches the whole episode from his BMW.

cv

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Couldn't agree more

Anyone read the letter in one of the paper's the other day regarding the admission (finally) by the health minister they were to blame for a botched op which caused a lady lose her sight? There was a photo apparently, showing her waiing the well heeled officials... completely backwards as the letter writer pointed out

[chownah]

Usually whenever I post about the customs or events in our village I later ask my wife to verify what I have posted to be sure its correct....well....I reported incorrectly about children waiing when they return home from school. In our village most do this but it is done very fast...sort of on the run so to speak...and in a sort of abbreviated manner and not waiting for a reply. I guess its so quick and abbreviated that I never noticed it.....sorry for the misinformation.

[tuky]

Usually whenever I post about the customs or events in our village I later ask my wife to verify what I have posted to be sure its correct....well....I reported incorrectly about children waiing when they return home from school.  In our village most do this but it is done very fast...sort of on the run so to speak...and in a sort of abbreviated manner and not waiting for a reply.  I guess its so quick and abbreviated that I never noticed it.....sorry for the misinformation.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The same is true in our home mate. The kids wai a lot more than any of the adults do. I probably get more wais from them than the others too, might have something to do with the first wai, then me asking them to go to the shop to buy beer and ice and then I give them a 10 baht "thank you". Mind you the 10 baht "thank you" always gets a deeper wai than the greeting

[Beachbunny]

well ..who decide??..

well .. just  WAI ..sometime  it make  us have  more advantage (if we do the  right way)  other will adore us na ja

My brother-in-law the professor says this: "what does it hurt you to wai anyone?" It makes them feel good and you don't lose anything, so why not. "

We also wai people who stop their car for us to cross the road when traffic is heavy.

Beachbunny

[chownah]

well ..who decide??..

well .. just  WAI ..sometime  it make  us have  more advantage (if we do the  right way)  other will adore us na ja

My brother-in-law the professor says this: "what does it hurt you to wai anyone?" It makes them feel good and you don't lose anything, so why not. "

We also wai people who stop their car for us to cross the road when traffic is heavy.

Beachbunny

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your brother-in-law seems to be a really friendly guy but there is a good reason to try to wai appropriately. For example, if you waied everyone it would be sort of like if a Thai person went to the US and shook hands with everyone every time s/he met them. The Americans would think the Thai person was a bit peculiar. The Thai person might think "what does it hurt you to shake hands with anyone?" It makes them feel good and you don't lose anything, so why not. " But it would still be awkward and strange to most Americans.

[tuky]

well ..who decide??..

well .. just  WAI ..sometime  it make  us have  more advantage (if we do the  right way)  other will adore us na ja

My brother-in-law the professor says this: "what does it hurt you to wai anyone?" It makes them feel good and you don't lose anything, so why not. "

We also wai people who stop their car for us to cross the road when traffic is heavy.

Beachbunny

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your brother-in-law seems to be a really friendly guy but there is a good reason to try to wai appropriately. For example, if you waied everyone it would be sort of like if a Thai person went to the US and shook hands with everyone every time s/he met them. The Americans would think the Thai person was a bit peculiar. The Thai person might think "what does it hurt you to shake hands with anyone?" It makes them feel good and you don't lose anything, so why not. " But it would still be awkward and strange to most Americans.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Where I work at the moment the handshake is important. The louder the slap when your hands meet the better friend you are. Gets very annoying when your shaking 20+ hands every morning, then again at knock off time.

Freakin stupid if you ask me.

But, cultures are different.

[The Skipper]

OK, I know generally you don't return a Wai to service people.

How about a favorite restaurant or bar?

Do you give one back to some of the staff in senior positions. Manager, your Bartender or Mamasan?

Thais think you are cute or stupid when doing it wrong, no big deal.

[sriracha john]

When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a benevolent bunch of farang we are to teach Thais about Thai culture...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In my village helping small children to learn polite etiquette is not considered to be a sign of benevolence, it is the sign of being a good family member or neighbor.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds like a wonderful place; perhaps we should all move up north. The north is full of good family members and good neighbors.. People should definitely move north. The move to the north would be good decision... definitely.

[AmeriThai]

OK, I know generally you don't return a Wai to service people.

How about a favorite restaurant or bar?

Do you give one back to some of the staff in senior positions. Manager, your  Bartender or Mamasan?

Thais think you are cute or stupid when doing it wrong, no big deal.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not necessary to wai staff, senior or not, at business providing a service. If anything, they should wai you for your patronage. A friendly nod, smile or word of greeting is all that's needed.

Edited August 17, 2005 by AmeriThai

[meadish_sweetball]

When a parent is teaching their very young child to wai to me and the child is not cooperating I will often iniate the wai myself so as to help the child to see what is expected...this seems to be appreciated by the parent.

What a benevolent bunch of farang we are to teach Thais about Thai culture...

In my village helping small children to learn polite etiquette is not considered to be a sign of benevolence, it is the sign of being a good family member or neighbor.

Sounds like a wonderful place; perhaps we should all move up north. The north is full of good family members and good neighbors.. People should definitely move north. The move to the north would be good decision... definitely.

Pssst..... Don't listen to Chownah. The leper zombies have already brainwashed him.

Head South!! Head South before it's too late!!

[sriracha john]

Too late... As we speak there are convoys of heavily-laden busses full of farang heading up North...

They heard it was DEFINITELY a nicer place to be....

[JuniorExPat]

Too late... As we speak there are convoys of heavily-laden busses full of farang heading up North...

They heard it was DEFINITELY a nicer place to be.... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Too much wai'ing up north, very tiring, head south, less effort involved in daily greetings, head south, unquestionably more relaxing.

JxP

[sriracha john]

But well worth the small effort required (or not at all, as most farang don't bother to wai anyway) in order to be around such friendly people. Definitely the people up North are much more friendly and nice. People not in the North are so rude...

Wait a sec...Ohh... look....

there goes yet another busload full of farang heading North...

lucky guys they are..

[britmaveric]

[Tippaporn]

Brit's been itching to use that!

Here's the latest and greatest. Hopefully it'll be available for all soon.