Land Of Smiles? Have I Landed In The Wrong Country?

[Ulysses G.]

Where I grew up, the local rednecks found it amusing to splash animals with gasoline and start them on fire. Cruelty is far from an exclusively Thai trait.

[mark45y]

Not too long ago (40 years) there was a war in Laos. The Thais and Americans on one side and the Pathet Lao and Vietnamese on the other side. The brutality of that war was little publicized. Thais are good soldiers as were the hill tribe people who fought on the Thai side. Every time the Americans started to get the hang of Asian war making, some PC types complained about the brutality of it all and to stop throwing severed heads around and paying people for ears.

Thais may be brutal but in the Asian way of things no more brutal than any other adjoining nations. Western sensibilitites sometimes cloud the true nature of the culture and see only what they want to see.

[ThaiTrav]

Perhaps the financial results of their recent closing of the airport,bombings fires,curfews is starting to kick in!! Som Nom Na!

[ThaiTrav]

Perhaps the financial results of their recent closing of the airport,bombings fires,curfews is starting to kick in!! Som Nom Na!

[F1fanatic]

Where I grew up, the local rednecks found it amusing to splash animals with gasoline and start them on fire. Cruelty is far from an exclusively Thai trait.

Happy to say that where I grew up nobody was that cruel.

[bermondburi]

Listen to Mark, bermondburi. He speaks the truth in many things. You can disagree all you want, but if 50% of what he says is true then you better pay heed. Mark hasn't said you are wrong and neither will I, but at least be aware that you can make all the plans you want and live up to your own high ideals, and still have it all taken away from you without anything you can do about it.

You know what "rope a dope" is? It is a fighting style that can be used by an older fighter to beat a younger stronger man.

Rope a dope in relationships has been perfected in Thailand by the fairer sex. It is not a quick victory sometimes it takes years. The Thai smile is a major component of the rope a dope style. Which is why I mention it here and of course I would never go off topic.

That is a good assessment. Asians have a LOT of patience when it comes to what they hope for and have planned. Someone once asked a Chinese general how long the war would take. His answer was "How long do you want to wait... one day, one week, one month, one year, or 100 years. It will take as long as it takes to get the job done. There is no time limit. Westerners have to be aware of that.

At 33 you are only a child in an adult form. We wish you the best and hope nothing goes wrong in your life. You've got at least a 50 - 50 chance, and there's not a dam_n thing you can do to change it... no matter how well you plan.

Interesting analogy, the " rope a dope " thing. Sort of like a women reeling you in over a long time. I'll take my chances though. Better to have loved and lost than to never have tried, that's the way I look at it. Bit difficult to see what my wife could be reeling me in for. Financially I can't lose out here with the way my stuff is organised and that isn't going to change. Emotional blackmail over my kids, I could see that happening though. But in theory anyway as long as I'm a good husband and father to the children then why should anything change. I can't see my wife having another man ( I know everyone is laughing at this ) but if you knew her then you would see why. She's just not that sort of girl.

So anyway, I'll take 50-50. Good odds, if only the same odds were in a casino they would never be empty. Instead we'll just have to play in the casino of life. Life's a gamble at the end of the day, just depends how much you're in for.

[bermondburi]

YOUR NAME SAYS IT ALL

what's wrong with my name ?

[bermondburi]

The Thai economy has bloomed and diversified. To ingratiate oneself with a foreigner is only one of the options for escaping poverty. Perhaps that's why Thais don't seem to smile as much as they used to.

This may be off-topic but picture a split scene:

On the left is Mark45 with Thai girls sitting on his lap, forlornly holding an empty whiskey bottle.

On the right is Bermondburi with his children sitting on his lap, equally hoping for some attention.

They're not going to get any. The two men are busy writing to each other with as much care as they would write love letters - no spelling mistakes or errors of grammar - careful attention to the construction of paragraphs and the comprehension of their replies.

They could easily get a smile from those by their side; another bottle of whiskey or another game but they prefer to write to each other. They love the challenge.

That's the way I see it. I'm not criticising. It's interesting. It makes me wonder whether Thais smile less at us because they have learned that we don't or can't see the challenge behind the surface of their smile?

Pure speculation of course

I don't have a computer at home and I have a lot of free time at work so it gives me something to do, and what better way to spend your day than on Thaivisa. As for the English, if you're going to write something then you might as well do it properly. I take that as a compliment.

[mstribling]

Listen to Mark, bermondburi. He speaks the truth in many things. You can disagree all you want, but if 50% of what he says is true then you better pay heed. Mark hasn't said you are wrong and neither will I, but at least be aware that you can make all the plans you want and live up to your own high ideals, and still have it all taken away from you without anything you can do about it.

You know what "rope a dope" is? It is a fighting style that can be used by an older fighter to beat a younger stronger man.

Rope a dope in relationships has been perfected in Thailand by the fairer sex. It is not a quick victory sometimes it takes years. The Thai smile is a major component of the rope a dope style. Which is why I mention it here and of course I would never go off topic.

That is a good assessment. Asians have a LOT of patience when it comes to what they hope for and have planned. Someone once asked a Chinese general how long the war would take. His answer was "How long do you want to wait... one day, one week, one month, one year, or 100 years. It will take as long as it takes to get the job done. There is no time limit. Westerners have to be aware of that.

At 33 you are only a child in an adult form. We wish you the best and hope nothing goes wrong in your life. You've got at least a 50 - 50 chance, and there's not a dam_n thing you can do to change it... no matter how well you plan.

Interesting analogy, the " rope a dope " thing. Sort of like a women reeling you in over a long time. I'll take my chances though. Better to have loved and lost than to never have tried, that's the way I look at it. Bit difficult to see what my wife could be reeling me in for. Financially I can't lose out here with the way my stuff is organised and that isn't going to change. Emotional blackmail over my kids, I could see that happening though. But in theory anyway as long as I'm a good husband and father to the children then why should anything change. I can't see my wife having another man ( I know everyone is laughing at this ) but if you knew her then you would see why. She's just not that sort of girl.

So anyway, I'll take 50-50. Good odds, if only the same odds were in a casino they would never be empty. Instead we'll just have to play in the casino of life. Life's a gamble at the end of the day, just depends how much you're in for.

There it is.

[domprz]

The Thai economy has bloomed and diversified. To ingratiate oneself with a foreigner is only one of the options for escaping poverty. Perhaps that's why Thais don't seem to smile as much as they used to.

This may be off-topic but picture a split scene:

On the left is Mark45 with Thai girls sitting on his lap, forlornly holding an empty whiskey bottle.

On the right is Bermondburi with his children sitting on his lap, equally hoping for some attention.

They're not going to get any. The two men are busy writing to each other with as much care as they would write love letters - no spelling mistakes or errors of grammar - careful attention to the construction of paragraphs and the comprehension of their replies.

They could easily get a smile from those by their side; another bottle of whiskey or another game but they prefer to write to each other. They love the challenge.

That's the way I see it. I'm not criticising. It's interesting. It makes me wonder whether Thais smile less at us because they have learned that we don't or can't see the challenge behind the surface of their smile?

Pure speculation of course

I don't have a computer at home and I have a lot of free time at work so it gives me something to do, and what better way to spend your day than on Thaivisa. As for the English, if you're going to write something then you might as well do it properly. I take that as a compliment.

You're right to take it as an implied compliment. I enjoy your posts and your verbal tussles with Mark are entertaining. It's obvious that you both stimulate each other at a social/intellectual level despite, or because of, the communication being antagonistic in nature.

I guess my (obscure) point was to illustrate a potential quandary in cross-cultural relationships. It's that you probably understand and communicate more effectively with Mark than with your wife, simply because you have a similar background and a good command of the same language. Same for her and the Thais she socially interacts with.

It's not a show-stopper but worth a thought or two.