Funniest Jokes

One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!

After five minutes, the same man calls back:

- It is OK, I found another one

Funny Jokes

An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.

She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

The woman gives him her license. The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once,

had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence,

waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes