Another Use For Duct Tape

After serenading fans with some of her greatest hits, Streisand mocked President Bush.

A few dozen people began to heckle her with one man shouting, "What is this, a fund-raiser?"

An incensed Streisand shot back, "Why don't you shut the f- - - up. If you can't take a joke, why don't you leave and get your money back."

Chapter 21 - Return From The Wilderness

1- And on the four thousand three hundred eighty first day after The Diva wandered off in to the wilderness, vowing never to return, she appeared as though a vision before the multitude at Newyark.

2- And the people were blinded by the beauty of her voice and the cutting wit of The Diva and they fell to the ground worshipping at her feet as she basked in the glow of love and affection from the gathered tribes of Newyark.

3- But there arose a clamor from the sheeple when The Diva began a long, lengthy, boring comedy routine that was intended to poke fun of Emperor Bush, whom The Diva had declared to be sent from Satan years earlier.

4- The noise from the crowd threatened to overwhelm The Diva and her hypnotic voice and a mighty din arose in the multitude as their impatience grew with the stomping of feet and shouting of insults.

5- The Diva looked out upon the gathered sheeple and delivered a message of quiet moderation, saying to them in the holy tongue “Shut the fok up! Shut up if you can’t take a joke!”

6- And lo, the sheeple were shamed and stood with heads bowed and the voices of the crowd of sheeple were silenced in dread fear of having offended The Diva and some pleaded with her to resume.

7- The Diva looked out upon the penitent gathering of unwashed poor and felt pity in her heart. She then sang to them to calm their fears and peace reigned over the gathering in Newyark.

8- But there was a great and evil plan brewing in the Emperor’s palace in Warshton that would ....

(From: “The Book Of Babs”, 21:1-8 — The rest of the text of this chapter of the Book Of Babs was lost in the First Islamic War Of 2008. Archeologists hope to one day find more copies in the rubble around Sanfrisco - Encyclopedia Britannica, 735th Edition, 2285 AD

FEMA Checks Are In

FEMA Checks Are In

Very funny indeed.

I recall, whilst driving through France, a Rolls Royce with English numberplates towing a caravan

Later, in Spain I saw the same RR with assistance of the Roadhelp guys.....

LaoPo

FEMA Checks Are In

Brilliant !

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....STOP IT PLUTO..........THIS IS GOOD GUY

LaoPo

"No I wasn't dead. Took some time off to work on my Atkins diet"

My long lost cousin!

He May Be Poor But Can Still Afford Shoes

...but can't sneak back home drunk without waking the wife

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Look in here lil' orphan. That's what I used to kill your father, muther, lil' brutha and sistah. Cut 'em all right in half. Cool huh? I still have the spent shells in my pocket, want 'em? Now pull the trigger and do granny a favour will ya?

Edited October 12, 200619 yr by Tony Clifton

Pigs going to market

Wow, that's un-real! How many pigs are there?

things get a little out of hand at the thaivisa christmas party:

You Ain't Woman Enough

Nothin' like some good ol' shit-kickin' music

Redneck Birth Control

May not be work safe...

Link

Maybe it should be titled Redneck Chastity Belt.

Very funny Boon!

Some interesting times are lying* ahead of us....

*

LaoPo

"You can take them out of the country ... ."

Redneck Birth Control

May not be work safe...

Link

Maybe it should be titled Redneck Chastity Belt.

Oh my word!!!

Redneck Birth Control

May not be work safe...

Link

Maybe it should be titled Redneck Chastity Belt.

Oh my word!!!

Crikey ..... no bikini line problems though.... ouch

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I love dogging....

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Budget cuts affect the soft core porn version of 'The Twin Towers'

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Penrith? Are you sure the town isn't named Monica?

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Ohh look Ma.... genuine Egyptian cotton

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Ah, that's where she keeps it!

Notice from Welsh Tourism Board

On leaving Wales you may find some local customs strange

Ref: Culture Shock Cumbria

Since when is Cumbria in Wales.... Duh!

Since when is Cumbria in Wales.... Duh!

It isn't

On leaving Wales

Sack the Ice Cream man...