What a funny fellow is Humphrey da da da da da da da...... Poor Old Fat Cat got the axe for not having pants, was he not?

Actually it was Humphrey - Fat Cat just lost his friends Playschool is no longer around also, can't imagine why with lyrics such as "Open wide, come inside, it's playschool"

How about when you ask in English "Do you speak English?" they don't mess about with "Mai chai or a Mai dai" but with a very good English, No.

I ain't got a clue about anything what you’re saying so I asked my uncle to explain it all. He asked me to send this message as he ain’t allowed to write nothing more himself cos he got banned.

“From Professor Sebastian Mortimer, Corpus Christi College, Oxford.

My dear friends and colleagues, how terribly busy I have been of late and how little time I have had to enjoy the pleasant ruminations and meanderings present on this most charming of websites.

Of course, any dialogue pertaining to the science of linguistics is of enormous interest to my colleagues and I here at Oxford, and it is with much pleasure that I have read and re-read the comments of those who have invested so much of their time and effort to post.

Sadly however, a dark cloud seems to have manifested itself over the usual gaiety and frivolity which I find so welcome on these pages. The cloud I speak of is, of course, that most thoroughly verbose of gentlemen, Dr Hiram Klonkey. Might it not be the case that the individual to whom I refer is an imposter. Might he not be one of those ridiculous characters who, armed with little more than a good thesaurus, take it upon themselves to present to the public at large a semblance of education and learning which all too often they do not in fact possess. I’m sure I am most certainly not alone in feeling that a little elucidation as to this individual’s academic background would be immensely welcome.

As ever, I convey my warmest regards (and seasons greetings) to that doyen of visa expertise, Dr Pat Pong. More so than ever, I am firmly of the opinion that without his finely balanced blend of opinion and objectivity, what a desert of tedium and mis-information this site would be!”

As ever, I convey my warmest regards (and seasons greetings) to that doyen of visa expertise, Dr Pat Pong. More so than ever, I am firmly of the opinion that without his finely balanced blend of opinion and objectivity, what a desert of tedium and mis-information this site would be!”

As ever, I am deeply humbled at recognition from such a world authority. I too have reservations as to the bona fides of ole Hiram.

locker rooms at golf clubs

lakeview: male locker / female locker

palm hills: lockers man / lockers woman

FWIW I thought Cali Dave, Hiram, Johnny Moron were/are the same fellow. This thread has been fun from the get-go. It remains so. Even the Doc dropped his shorts and plummeted in to the level of his aging breasts. (about hip level).

Hiram I think your use of English sucks very big, so I have forwarded your details to Hoover for consideration as the mew model.

Would that Be Thaiglish...as I coined... I do find my english going down hill while on Sanook. I find not only the sentence styly but how we mouth the words and mix with Thai most interesting. If you cannot pronounce the english word like a Thai you wond be understood. There is a Thai bar in Honolulu where I have great fun speaking Thaiglish with the Darlings. Great Fun! (Sanook)

Hiram's real name is Bates. Master Bates.   

I am not quite sure how to penetrate the meaning of this baseless assertion. The good lady wife (Mrs Klonky) has reserached the Klonky ancestry to 8 generations going back to our origins in Lithuania. There is not a single member of the illustrious Bates family shown, so I hardly see how I could be a relative. Some mistake perhaps? Just a thought!

Hiram I think your use of English sucks very big, so I have forwarded your details to Hoover for consideration as the mew model. 

If I read this in any way correctly some not inconsiderable measure of insult is intended. One really has to wonder where the spirit of the festive season has gone. O Tempora! O Mores! Just a thought!

“From Professor Sebastian Mortimer, Corpus Christi College, Oxford.

Sadly however, a dark cloud seems to have manifested itself over the usual gaiety and frivolity which I find so welcome on these pages. The cloud I speak of is, of course, that most thoroughly verbose of gentlemen, Dr Hiram Klonkey. Might it not be the case that the individual to whom I refer is an imposter. Might he not be one of those ridiculous characters who, armed with little more than a good thesaurus, take it upon themselves to present to the public at large a semblance of education and learning which all too often they do not in fact possess. I’m sure I am most certainly not alone in feeling that a little elucidation as to this individual’s academic background would be immensely welcome.       

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. This really is becoming distressingly personal. I suspect that the good professor is newly tenured or he would surely recall the groundbreaking (and by no means uncontroversial!) series of lectures that I presented at his distinguished college as recently as 1972. Now universally known as "The Klonky Lectures", these later formed the foundations of monosyntacticism, no less.

I have not had my academic credentials questioned in any way hitherto, and it is difficult to even imagine why I should be the (in no small way) proud recipient of 4 honarary doctorates if there was even the merest whiff of bogusity concerning my pedigree.

I think another lie down in a darkened room beckons, and would in no small measure benefit us all! Just a thought!

and maybe a bit of learning as to how to spell H O N O R A R Y .

Thanks Doc for us who have been here a while and who's grasp on the Engrish lanwage is a trifle rusty for speling H O N O R A R Y slowly, a great help.

I still think Hiram's name is Master Bates. He talks of penetration......No need for that sort of nonsense. Keep it up and slowly impair the vision. He's got very thick glasses now.

When I was a kid(yeah what a memory) I was told that if I did that I would go blind so I said can I do it a little bit and wear glasses?

I heard that there was only two types of person, thems that do it, and thems that tell lies. .

"Global growth may have to rely on the world's economic growth" and "Headline inflation swam up and down between 1.5% and 2.5%" according to today's Bangkok Post.