Big Trouble With Gf

[ray23]

Great story Trip.

But grovel to sort it out?  Why should he have to grovel to someone coz he sent a text to the wrong  number?  Its his gf at fault, throwing him out on the streets, what a pussy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sometimes lifes a lot easier if ya let lady think they're right!!!!!!! ###### hath no fury like a woman scorned (or if she think's she's scorned).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And sometimes life gets a lot worse if you allowed yourself to be pussy whipped so easily. Depsite that fact that your pride is gone, and she will always believe she was right about this and you 'play around' which will come back to you many a time.

I say set her straight about this, and not with a grovel either, the poor guy just spent a night out of his bed coz he sent a text to the wrong person, how mad is that.

Sorry if you disagree but I just can't believe the amount of farang guys out here that are in such fear of their girlfriends.

And then to come on here and ask a bunch of strangers what he should do, like we are all going to flip open the 'thai girls handbook' and give him a speech about loss of face, buddhist traditions and some other cultural differences to show him that its just a simple misunderstanding on his part, he doesn't know the culture and what he should do is this or that.

Facts are facts, she's being out of order, and he aint got the balls to tell her so.

I mean, honestly, a question to all the men - If your gf threw you out on the streets because you accidently pressed the wrong button on a mobile would you go back the next day and grovel to her to get back in the house?

F.uck that, get a bit of self respect.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Every rational person would agree with you. I consider myself to be a rational person too. However, in the past years, living with my thai wife, I have noticed that being rational doesn't always cut the cake. I can only speak for my wife, but she can be so stubborn that she would blow up our entire relationship for, indeed something stupid as mentioned above. I totally agree that this is a bad habit and that sometimes it's a fine line between keeping your self-respect and saving your relationship. For some people on this forum however love and relationships seem to be so cheap that they always come up with "plenty more fish in the sea" slogan. I can only imagine them to be so self centered and shallow that it is indeed very easy for them to move on...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You know this is well said, However I'm sure there will be times when you will have forgive your significant others mistakes. That being said it would be best that both people be ready to do the same. or really don't have much in the first palce.

My experience has shown me, just me, that Thai women really want to control realtionships and they can be very demmanding sometimes just to play some silly game. this is really fine if you enjoy that some do I don't.

I try to put my wifes needs in front of everything else, but I don't view it as a oneway street. I expect the same sort of treatment back. I don't always get it, but when I don't there will be trouble around the homestead. Now if that ever got to the point of her showing me the door, I would move on. Life is to shoprt not to treat your partner with respect and to have that given to you as well.

[Thaipwriter]

Well the OP has not been back here.....

perhaps he has not been able to get back in the house to get to his computer?

[RamdomChances]

The question you have to ask is

Are you a man or a small cheese eating rodent

[themangostays]

excellent. you folks gave me all the avice I needed. Basically I got all macho and said 'if you don't trust me then there is no point in us carrying on. Simple.'

She folded and seemed really happy that I put my foot down.

All part of the cartoon culture that makes up the 'lovin thaildn' theme.

Greate. Thanks for all your help.

So to all you guys who, just like me, get real confused by your thai girl, if the shit hits the fan (and obviously you're inocent of all crimes) break it down to the basics. act like a proper man, be bold and strong and don't simper and beg.

[themangostays]

Ray, I hear what you're saying but you got to chill out a little in your delivery. Plent more fish in the sea...not really. Good girls require effort and patience. And most importantly consideration. Please don't use this forum as a platform to slag off your fellow man. kob koon.

[Boo]

fyi Head snake, none of the women said for him to grovel, thats was some of the guys, the women who posted all said it was a blow up over nothing & better to knock that one the head.

Learn who the posters are before making assumptions. SBK, Nickerelastic, SK1972= women. All others on this topic= men

[Insight]

Sorry to say this after all the "explain it the girlfriend' posts but grow a set of balls man.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Love it! Love it! Love it! My sentiments exactly.

Saying that, I'm doing a wee bit of groveling myself recently, but for more far "solid" reasons. Ain't nobody booting me out the house for sure...

[Tokker]

Great story Trip.

But grovel to sort it out?  Why should he have to grovel to someone coz he sent a text to the wrong  number?  Its his gf at fault, throwing him out on the streets, what a pussy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sometimes lifes a lot easier if ya let lady think they're right!!!!!!! ###### hath no fury like a woman scorned (or if she think's she's scorned).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And sometimes life gets a lot worse if you allowed yourself to be pussy whipped so easily. Depsite that fact that your pride is gone, and she will always believe she was right about this and you 'play around' which will come back to you many a time.

I say set her straight about this, and not with a grovel either, the poor guy just spent a night out of his bed coz he sent a text to the wrong person, how mad is that.

Sorry if you disagree but I just can't believe the amount of farang guys out here that are in such fear of their girlfriends.

And then to come on here and ask a bunch of strangers what he should do, like we are all going to flip open the 'thai girls handbook' and give him a speech about loss of face, buddhist traditions and some other cultural differences to show him that its just a simple misunderstanding on his part, he doesn't know the culture and what he should do is this or that.

Facts are facts, she's being out of order, and he aint got the balls to tell her so.

I mean, honestly, a question to all the men - If your gf threw you out on the streets because you accidently pressed the wrong button on a mobile would you go back the next day and grovel to her to get back in the house?

F.uck that, get a bit of self respect.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i totally agree

why defend yourself when you havent done anything wrong

its happened to me before

i was in a bad relationship and when i started to stand up for myself A i stopped feeling like a pussy and B got more respect.

that was 5 years ago and since then first sign of any mistrust or control and im out of there

i dont see the point of being unhappy for a second when you have the power to do something about it

go back get your stuff and get a girl who trusts you

and be more careful with your phone in future

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I hope Tokker reads and understands this. With all due respect to him... if he has a relationship as he describes, it's not really that much of a relationship.

Certainly compromise is part of any serious relationship and especially marriage, but it's a two way street. It HAS to be reasonable compromise as well.

It is indeed a fine line as he describes, but if he's had the sort of blow-ups like OP describes, it's crossed the line... and once crossed, it will continue to be crossed.

Having said that, we really do need clarification from the OP about that aspect of his post... his place? her place?... elaboration on "thrown out" as well.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

FYI, I don't feel I described my relation in that way that you would have enough information to understand it, let alone be a good judge about it. I never got kicked out of the house, never got chased by my wife with a knife (like I read on this forum a few days ago...). I was just trying to point out that irrational behaviour is not uncommon in LOS (nor anywhere else in the world) and that the macho way is not always the best way to deal with it. Am I a pussy for not having the "my way or the highway" attitude like some people on this forum?

[sbk]

If my husband is dead wrong I expect him to admit it and apologize for it. If I am dead wrong I admit it and apologize for it. In a previous relationship (with a farang I might add) he had to always be right, and I found myself apologizing even when I had done nothing. Not only did I lose respect for myself but I think he lost respect for me. I ended up being resentful and angry because I got sick and tired of always being the one in the wrong. Needless to say the relationship died an unhappy death.

[SK1972]

I was just trying to point out that irrational behaviour is not uncommon in LOS (nor anywhere else in the world) and that the macho way is not always the best way to deal with it. Am I a pussy for not having the "my way or the highway" attitude like some people on this forum?

Irrational behaviour is the ideal word for this.. It was just an innocent SMS which was a mistake and she should just accept it. If it happens again, then she should deck the guy!

Like I said, without trust, no way this relationship is going anywhere. Think about it, does anyone want &lt;deleted&gt; the rest of their life?? The girl will always be suspicious and accusatory.

The guy said it was a mistake. What else does she want? A car? A house? A Piece of land to make up for it?

Edited September 16, 2005 by SK1972

[ray23]

Ray, I hear what you're saying but you got to chill out a little in your delivery. Plent more fish in the sea...not really. Good girls require effort and patience. And most importantly consideration. Please don't use this forum as a platform to slag off your fellow man. kob koon.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Obvously I did write that to strongly, I have been fishing, the catch I have is good.

But mutual respect, courteousy and trust is a must in any relationship for me. Without that what do you have a playmate?

Good Men require the same as a good Woman.

If I slagged anyone, certainly wasn't my attention, for those that felt that I did my sincere apologies.

I simply wrote what I feel I don't recommend it for anyone else. No one else walks my path in life, nor do I walk thiers. Each of us has to decide what is best for our own journey. I will not judge anyone elses approach, so if I conveyed that, then I didn't communicate well.

I will use the from in the best manner that I can as I'm sure you do.

[samran]

I've never understood why so many men put up with high maintainece bunny boilers.

On another note, professionally, personal relationships at the office always end in tears.

[ozzydom]

Ray, I hear what you're saying but you got to chill out a little in your delivery. Plent more fish in the sea...not really. Good girls require effort and patience. And most importantly consideration. Please don't use this forum as a platform to slag off your fellow man. kob koon.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The mangostays,are you sure your reading and commenting on the right posts,? I for one didnt read any of that in Ray 23,s post, In future if your not gonna like the answers you get when you post such a whacky request for help you better stick to writing to Heartbalm or Dorothy Dix.

[Sheryl]

I agree with sk1972 on this one, major overreaction for a very small issue. My husband has received phone calls from old female friends but I certainly wouldn't make an issue out of it as I know I am the only one in his life now. Personally, if I were you, I would discuss with her, not the text, but the reason for the overreaction. Seems there's more issues to this relationship than just some SMS.

Agree with above, there is some reason why this set her off so badly. Do apologize/explain about how it hapened, but also ask her -- nicely and sincerely --to help you understand why she's so sensitive about this...e.g has she had bad experiences with unfaithful men in the past? (Or witnessed it in her family?)

You didn't mention her nationality. If she is Thai, or for that matter any other Asian, I know that fear of infidelity is a often factor in choosing a farang bf, and many of these women have been burned or seen their mothers/sisters/friends burned, by unfaithful men. Also, platonic friendships between men and women are not so common in those cultures so index of suspicion can be unnecessarily high, just a cultural difference that needs to be understoond by both parties.

If on the other hand your gf is Western, the reaction is a little less understandable and she may be unusually insecure for some reason. Still worth talking out....but it is reasonable to expect a western woman to be able to accept your having platonic female friends and to trust you that this is all it is. If she can't, then either she's neurotically insecure or there are other factors in the relationship making her specifically insecure with regard to you. Find out which.

You obviously care about her or you wouldn't have bothered to post this. Have you expressed this caring to her often enough? Women of all nationalities need to have it expressed.

good luck!

[chico]

I've never understood why so many men put up with high maintainece bunny boilers.

On another note, professionally, personal relationships at the office always end in tears.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

22 ears ago, I had to come to BKK to conclude a business, and as we were invited for dinner, they took some of the office girls with them.

later the men went to Patpong, and I asked the boss of the company, why they were going there, if they had such stunning girls in the office :

never forget his answer :

NEVER PUT YOUR PEN IN A COMPANY'S INK!"

[texan_cowboy]

This may sound stupid but I really need some advice on this...yesterday I sent my gf (she works in the same office as me) a text which simply read 'Tired'. However, I buggered up sending it and sent the same message to a totally plutonic female friend of mine at the same time without realising; Leter that evening as we cuddled up to a DVD I got a message back from plutonic friend which read 'Why you tired?'. My gf went stony cold and threw me out of the house. What can I do to sort this out?

HELP!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

First

Second

Third and if that dont work

[ozzydom]

IMHO this is one big troll, in an earlier post themangostays refers to his wife of seven years, now its his g/f,big bit sus to me

[lovejoy]

well spotted oz

with a wife and girlfriend ,at least he has somewhere to go when hes kicked out

if hes lieing to the good people of T.V god knows what hes saying to these women

[Head Snake]

fyi Head snake, none of the women said for him to grovel, thats was some of the guys, the women who posted all said it was a blow up over nothing & better to knock that one the head.

Learn who the posters are before making assumptions. SBK, Nickerelastic, SK1972= women. All others on this topic= men 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I didn't know most of the posters in the Ladies section was guys. My bad.

It sounds like a lot of men around here have already been "trained".

Ladies, if you can ride me for more than 8 seconds, I'll give you a big belt buckle.

About learning who the ladies are before I make an assumption: Could you please put " I am pooying" in your sig?

[Tywais]

Ladies, if you can ride me for more than 8 seconds, I'll give you a big belt buckle. 

That must me embarrassing

[johnh101]

Ladies, if you can ride me for more than 8 seconds, I'll give you a big belt buckle.  

That must me embarrassing

Cheapskate ! !

Why don't you give them the belt as well ! !

[sbk]

fyi Head snake, none of the women said for him to grovel, thats was some of the guys, the women who posted all said it was a blow up over nothing & better to knock that one the head.

Learn who the posters are before making assumptions. SBK, Nickerelastic, SK1972= women. All others on this topic= men 

Well, I didn't know most of the posters in the Ladies section was guys. My bad.

It sounds like a lot of men around here have already been "trained".

Ladies, if you can ride me for more than 8 seconds, I'll give you a big belt buckle.

About learning who the ladies are before I make an assumption: Could you please put " I am pooying" in your sig?

Try looking at the title of the board first, shall you? Why should we put puying in our signature when we are in the LADIES FORUM??

And sonny, 8 seconds is probably about all you are good for anyway

[Head Snake]

Jeez, just having some fun. ]

Back on topic. for you ladies.

[sbk]

Jeez, just having some fun.  ]

Back on topic.  for you ladies.

Yeah, isn't it so sad no one gets your particular brand of "humor"?

[Head Snake]

Yeah, isn't it so sad no one gets your particular brand of "humor"?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not sad at all. I agree it was a goofy thing to post; but, the attempt was to do something or same something goofy to see how people respond. Just as the OP did with his gf. Do you see a response pattern? All of the sudden, Head Snake is the bad guy to some of the posters, just as the op was to his gf.

Now I find the responses I received funny (and I agree to a certain extent warranted); but, I won't let anybody's response ruin my day. Nor do I hold any grudge against any of you.

I hope you see that words or actions can cause a response from either close people or strangers. Its how you respond to their comments that gets you along in life. That's why I say to the op, don't let this woman's words or actions cause too much strife in your day. His initial actions were not in anyway to harm his gf and their relationship.

Have a nice day...

Edited September 20, 2005 by Head Snake

[ray23]

Yeah, isn't it so sad no one gets your particular brand of "humor"?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not sad at all. I agree it was a goofy thing to post; but, the attempt was to do something or same something goofy to see how people respond. Just as the OP did with his gf. Do you see a response pattern? All of the sudden, Head Snake is the bad guy to some of the posters, just as the op was to his gf.

Now I find the responses I received funny (and I agree to a certain extent warranted); but, I won't let anybody's response ruin my day. Nor do I hold any grudge against any of you.

I hope you see that words or actions can cause a response from either close people or strangers. Its how you respond to their comments that gets you along in life. That's why I say to the op, don't let this woman's words or actions cause too much strife in your day. His initial actions were not in anyway to harm his gf and their relationship.

Have a nice day...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Laughter, Me thinks at times we have no much time on our hands

[SDH]

This may sound stupid but I really need some advice on this...yesterday I sent my gf (she works in the same office as me) a text which simply read 'Tired'. However, I buggered up sending it and sent the same message to a totally plutonic female friend of mine at the same time without realising; Leter that evening as we cuddled up to a DVD I got a message back from plutonic friend which read 'Why you tired?'. My gf went stony cold and threw me out of the house. What can I do to sort this out?

HELP!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You've got to be joking?

Everyone who has a Thai's around them wether they be GF's or wannabes knows they scan your mobile at regular intervals (say like whenever it's not in your hand or pocket) If she thinks you're a guilty dawg she would've grabbed for that phone and checked sent messages...Here's the problem, if you're not entirely innocent in the text department you will have deleted messages etc.

Good Luck

[Butterfly]

that's why you need 2 mobiles, one for the wife, and another for the mia nois

As for SMS, always delete "compromising" one before you forget, even if INNOCENT

If you receive a SMS and your wife is next to you, ignore the SMS message and make sure to silence the SMS alert sound or vibrator.

[toastwars]

Women sap your spirit, wallet and your time, stay single