Ex Wife Wants Too Much Money For Kids

[sarahsbloke]

That seems to leave no space to put the wealthy Thai people who own houses worth 20 million plus - those are the ones I would class as rich Thais, although I guess it is hard to apply Western labels over here (and has nothing to do with the OP's question so we probably shouldn't be debating it here!).

Mr Marx did the definition for middle class, it's those that don't actually produce any objects with their hands.

'The petty bourgeoisie', 'small capitalists' or 'small proprietors,' people who could gravitate toward either the Bourgeoisie or the Proletariat depending on individual circumstances.

Edited May 1, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[WyattEarp]

That must be a troll. 3000 baht/month is less than what I give my kid in pocket money.

10,000 middle class? An unskilled worker, security, taxi driver, bell boys, supermarket checkout girls and staff like that get 10,000 baht/month. Middleclass Thais easily earn 40-60,000 baht/month or more. Doctors and lawyers much more. And they are not yet in the "rich" class.

I'd suggest the OP to pay what the mother asks if he loves his children. It's still a lot less than a European court would set.

[inthepink]

That seems to leave no space to put the wealthy Thai people who own houses worth 20 million plus - those are the ones I would class as rich Thais, although I guess it is hard to apply Western labels over here (and has nothing to do with the OP's question so we probably shouldn't be debating it here!).

Mr Marx did the definition for middle class, it's those that don't actually produce any objects with their hands.

'The petty bourgeoisie', 'small capitalists' or 'small proprietors,' people who could gravitate toward either the Bourgeoisie or the Proletariat depending on individual circumstances.

If you want to look at historical definitions then anybody who has to work for a living is working class. My point is, as Wyatt Earp says, that 10k is not a lot of money and can be earned by unskilled workers. Somebody with a good pitch for a som tam stall in Bangkok would make more than 10k a month. Middle management employees for large companies would be classed as rich in your taxonomy, leaving those who earn 100k-500k as what?

Edited May 1, 2011 by inthepink

[Penefattore]

i realise my responsibilities with my thai family and the kids arn,t even mine.

The fact you are a weak fool with a lot of money to waste (not for long I guess) doesn't mean other members have to be the same.

[nocturn]

i realise my responsibilities with my thai family and the kids arn,t even mine.

The fact you are a weak fool with a lot of money to waste (not for long I guess) doesn't mean other members have to be the same.

oddly, i don't consider any money spent on my daughter wasted.

[Boo]

4500 baht a week for 2 kids, seems reasonable to me. or are they expected to live a subsistence level? it's certainly better than you wold get away with if your wife & kids were in UK.

[andrewbkk]

i realise my responsibilities with my thai family and the kids arn,t even mine.

The fact you are a weak fool with a lot of money to waste (not for long I guess) doesn't mean other members have to be the same.

Excellent post.

[thequietman]

i realise my responsibilities with my thai family and the kids arn,t even mine.

The fact you are a weak fool with a lot of money to waste (not for long I guess) doesn't mean other members have to be the same.

Excellent post.

well done. what an articulate and informaive response. thank goodness thaivisa has members with a wealth of knowledge as regards this matter and we are trully blessed with this long and well thought out response. more please more. maybe an answer like, good or yes or well done. we all wait with baited breath for your long winded response.

[JUDAS]

4500 baht a week for 2 kids, seems reasonable to me. or are they expected to live a subsistence level? it's certainly better than you wold get away with if your wife & kids were in UK.

My cost for my two children per month:

Rented house: 4k

Electric: 3k

School costs including books/uniforms/fees etc: 3k

Car running costs, insurance, fuel, maintenance etc and depreciation: 12k

Food including snacks etc: 9K?

Cable TV and internet: 1k

Water and Gas: 400 Baht

Wear and tear on household items etc: 2K?

Doctor/dentist etc: 1k

I know I've missed out a lot of things, holidays, birthday, special treats etc. I make that 35,400 Baht per month which has actually surprised me, didn't realise small people were so expensive

[Wallaby]

How much is the ex putting in for the kids? It shouldn't all be about the father.

How much will SHE pay if HE has the child? Would you all think the thai girl will give the amounts some of you are suggesting?

[Mario2008]

Typical amount of child support is somewhere bewteen 3,000 and 6,000 a month, with parents sharing the cost for education and medical care.

But it are your children and with that also your responsibility, and one should take care of them according to his ability and not simply the minimum ammount a Thai court would award.

[Shurup]

It depends on many things... First off, does his ex allow him to see his kids? Does she spend most of the $$ on kids? If Both answers YES, I would send as much as needed up until it hurts my lifestyle. If Both NO, I wouldn't be sending much at all, probably as much as she would get if went through the Thai court. YES/NO or NO/YES would take too long to explain here so I won't bother.

[phutoie2]

i realise my responsibilities with my thai family and the kids arn,t even mine.

The fact you are a weak fool with a lot of money to waste (not for long I guess) doesn't mean other members have to be the same.

Excellent post.

I do like a good laugh on a Monday morning -" I realise my responsibilities with my Thai family "

I would like to contribute a thought out, clever insightful response but my ribs are still hurting

[JUDAS]

How much is the ex putting in for the kids? It shouldn't all be about the father.

How much will SHE pay if HE has the child? Would you all think the thai girl will give the amounts some of you are suggesting?

It's all relative. 20k to someone making 200k is not really an issue but, somewhat different paying 20k when on an income of 30k a month. It's not possible to give a definitive figure as we all have different circumstances, my only criteria would be that my children lifestyle should not suffer if at all possible. And yes, if the tables were turned, my wife could definitely afford to pay the same to me, she owns a number of businesses. In our situation, I would think we would split all child costs.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Wow. Big thanks to SBK for pointing me to this topic.

You're all wrong.

Clearly there's no single amount. Also, whatever the amount, I would not make this a blind monthly transfer and then expect everything to end up just fine. Clearly it depends on the level or responsibility shown by the mother, and the level of trust you have in her. Reading between the lines, this doesn't look like it's very high.

Here is what I would do, on the assumptions that:

1. I want the best for my kid

2. I could not completely trust the mother to spend most of the money on the kid

Suppose I wanted my kid to go to a good school, eat good food, be safe, etc. Then I would make sure that part of the money is paid directly to the school she is attending. This can easily be 10K a month or even more. (Or less, of course, depending on the school). I would also make sure someone could keep an eye on things, and that I had visitation rights. These are all conditions on which I would pay any amount.

To be honest, 100 GBP / 20K baht is not totally unreasonable especially if you insure that most of it gets spent on your child's education and upbringing. She will need clothing, swimming lessons, any other hobbies or clubs. I can easily spend 20K on that .

Bottom line is that it is up to you. You set the amount, you specify the things it gets spend on. Then it would be wise to add a little just for your ex wife to spend.

[cdnvic]

The price of an absent father far outweighs any financial shortfall these kids will suffer.

[sarahsbloke]

The price of an absent father far outweighs any financial shortfall these kids will suffer.

They almost all have absent fathers who contribute nothing.

Most money given for the children are spent on the mother.

Why should foreigners behave any differently?

I know many middle class Thais, accountants, schoolteachers, nurses, policemen.

With two educated parents working the family income is rarely over 25,000bht a month.

Some of these posts make me think the posters all live in gated communities and never go out, only hearing stories from their Thai wifes about how much everyone else is earning.

For those equating middle class with wealthy, think again, middle class is about the type of work people do, nothing to do with the wage they are paid for doing it.

Edited May 2, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[Penkoprod]

Some of these posts make me think the posters all live in gated communities and never go out, only hearing stories from their Thai wifes about how much everyone else is earning.

That's so very, very true...well said

In fact, the OP will have more of an idea about how much he spent on his kids, and an estimate about how much he might spend/would have spent in the future than all the barrack room lawyers on here that bandy figures about.

Penkoprod

[transam]

The price of an absent father far outweighs any financial shortfall these kids will suffer.

Unfortunately in LOS it's been my experience that MANY, MANY Thai fathers, errrrr, disappear eh, so for me it's the norm here.

[Boo]

same as in the west then

[sarahsbloke]

same as in the west then

In the west most fathers appear to be driven off.

In Thailand the fathers seem to choose to leave.

[transam]

same as in the west then

In the UK you pay, hunted down to pay for your kids. Here it's a bit different.

My point was most people l come in contact with here, the fathers aren't around, it seems the norm and don't think it matters much to kids as it is the norm.

[Boo]

In the west most fathers appear to be driven off.

or chose to dissapear to another country & start again?

[transam]

In the west most fathers appear to be driven off.

or chose to dissapear to another country & start again?

For some of us, yes, we had to start again. Nobody, even you don't know what's around the corner in your fuure.

[Boo]

my point only is that a common occurance in many countries that when a relationship breaks down the father walks away from not only his wife but his children too. not a thailand only issue.

[gregb]

my point only is that a common occurance in many countries that when a relationship breaks down the father walks away from not only his wife but his children too. not a thailand only issue.

It's also quite common in Thailand for the mother to abandon her children to the care of the father. I actually know 4 single farang fathers raising their kids alone because the mother simply ran off. And I don't know that many people. For 4 of them to be single fathers is quite remarkable. Granted, these weren't exactly the most respectable ladies to begin with, but then the men you are talking about aren't exactly the most respectable members of society either.

Common occurrence or otherwise, both sexes are equally capable of shirking their responsibilities for their own selfish purposes. The question comes down to the child, and what is in his best interest. And that is a truly difficult problem, especially when money gets involved. People get greedy, and start thinking of themselves first. I would tend to trust the Thai courts judgement here more often than not, because they at least consider the welfare of the child first in all of their decisions. This is actually much more enlightened than the systems used in the West.

[sarahsbloke]

In the west most fathers appear to be driven off.

or chose to dissapear to another country & start again?

When a wife drives a man off and starts playing, the 'you can't see your children game', not much point in hanging around unless you like mind games.

My solicitor advised me that I might regain some rights after about 5 years of court battles (the average, he said)

But I have created an entirely new family within 2 years, saving me 3 years and I have 100% access to my new family and a wife 1/2 my previous wifes age.

A good deal IMHO.

Edited May 2, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[Boo]

I agree with you gregb, we know 3 thai men who are raising their kids with help from their extended thai families when mum ran off to a supposedly better life or just because....

I am not suggesting that women don't leave too only that it isn't only some thai men who don't support nor see their kids when a relationship breaks down so posters here should remember that when claiming moral parental superiority

[Boo]

A good deal IMHO.

And I'm sure your kids in UK will be glad for you having saved so much time & inconvienence

[Thongkorn]

i have in my own mind what i think is acceptable, I will always look after my kids financially but the question is can she do anything to get more money from me with her in thailand and me in the uk?

Thanks

The answer to your question is no, she cannot do more to you in Thailand. The answer to your question is yes, she can do more to you in the UK, if she can find a way to become represented there..

How would she pay for an expensive Solicitor in England , i would say if she can afford an English solicitor then you are paying to much.