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Bro'S Before Hoe'S


trisailer

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"If you aren't interested in alternative viewpoints, why did you post? Did you think everyone would feel the same?"

I am interested in other viewpoints. I just haven't heard any yet. Only accusations that I must be gay if I bring it up which proves my point that men are not able to talk about feelings and apparently would rather kill themselves

It's easy to see why.

Real men shouldn't have feelings anyway. Next thing, you'll be saying we should read Mills and Boon

Certainly, real men don't have feelings of superiority...

SC

A real man enjoys reaching between other men's legs, putting his head between two men's thighs, and pushing with all his might. In fact, the second-rows are the biggest men in the team. Tallest, anyway.

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I'm not surprised that this topic has generated the kinds of responses that it has. After all this is Thailand the place where men come to find their perfect woman. Just one problem though. Many get much more than they barganed for because they are such needy souls. Thai women are accustomed to men who are not looking to solve their mans problems. Oh, they put on a good show but every one I talked with think that farang men are soft. They tell me that more often than not farang men are looking for a mommy and the girls are happy to assume the role as long a the money flows.

All you men out there are so happy and balanced that it's very strange that so many are jumping off buildings and letting yourselves be led around by your noses. As a reader of TV I see an endless parade of men failing to navigate this place and ending up wrecks and all joking aside I think that the lack of real connection between men is a major cause. You don't know what you don't know and you and you can't learn anything new with your mind closed.

The science supports my view, but why would anyone want to consider science?

What direction do you look when you're at a public urinal?:unsure:

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And while there is nothing inherently wrong with discussing masturbation with another guy, no, I personally would not feel comfortable having a discussing about that.

Since I moved to Thailand whenever I'm in the mood, some Thai woman jumps me, I dream about the days when I could have a wank on my own.

I suspect there are far less wanke_rs in Thailand, than there are in the western world.

On baring your feelings

Only women and gay men do that, or feel the need to do that.

If you are a guy and you want deep and meaningful discussions with men, you are gay, OK so maybe you don't know you are gay yet!

OK, fair enough, I give up.

Men that want to talk about their feelings are obviously gay, not sensible....

Men obviously go through emotions but can contain that within themselves. They're doing themselves no emotional damage at all....

The reason why men don't talk is because you women never shut up ! :blink:

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Sorry to say this, but what rubbish! Western women are nearly always (there's always the exceptions) true and trustworthy.

The true & trustworthy ones all hid from me when I was looking!

I must have mixed with the wrong sort of western women.

Yes, you must. nearly all of my female friends stood by their husbands through thick and thin. It was the husbands that let them down...

Its a known fact that women stick with men who listen 'who they think are listening' to them...there's only so much a man can take.

All the women i knew split when it got thin, but when it was thick they really enjoyed the ride.

Edited by KRS1
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And while there is nothing inherently wrong with discussing masturbation with another guy, no, I personally would not feel comfortable having a discussing about that.

Since I moved to Thailand whenever I'm in the mood, some Thai woman jumps me, I dream about the days when I could have a wank on my own.

I suspect there are far less wanke_rs in Thailand, than there are in the western world.

On baring your feelings

Only women and gay men do that, or feel the need to do that.

If you are a guy and you want deep and meaningful discussions with men, you are gay, OK so maybe you don't know you are gay yet!

OK, fair enough, I give up.

Men that want to talk about their feelings are obviously gay, not sensible....

Men obviously go through emotions but can contain that within themselves. They're doing themselves no emotional damage at all....

The reason why men don't talk is because you women never shut up ! :blink:

I don't think I would ever admit to listening.,..

A wise monkey sees no eveil, hears no evil and speaks no evil

A real man says nothing, and hears less.

SC

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I don't think I would ever admit to listening.,..

A wise monkey sees no eveil, hears no evil and speaks no evil

A real man says nothing, and hears less.

SC

thanks for catching that, i went back and made an edit in captions.

See, we listen.:lol:

Edited by KRS1
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I am replying direct regarding the accusation my father is a bad man for taking to me with a leather belt. This could not be further from the truth. He was and still is, at 73yrs a model father. I would not have changed a moment on this earth with him. I do not have to ask my children what it is like for me to punish them. I have my own methods, and a leather belt ain't used. But that is the point. I still grew up normal. I passed nothing on as you obviously are challenged with. Entirely false statement on your part, actually utter BS. I still know that I deserved the punishment I got. I was a rat-bag. I was naughty and copped the consequences. I did however choose my own path as to how to punish my daughters. Now, if I had a son, there is a good chance a leather belt might have been used. Then again, maybe not. The point is. I am normal and can deal with my own lot, where for some reason you can't. I guess you've just got a couple of screws loose. I suggest tighten them up without pharmaceuticals, therapy or groups. This is a path exercising your own brain training it to become a decision maker with the doubts you live with. I love my dad, you hate yours. I feel sorry for you..

As for suicide, it's for wimps. My best friend did so, and he is an utter f8king asshol_e for doing so. It was real fun dealing with his father, wife, brother, 25 staff and 7 year old daughter. I am happy for as many to go and do this as they want. If they are so stupid to leave responsibility to other that have to sweep up the mess them good riddance. Enough of your statistical crap and I feel sorry I live in a society on the brink. Go jump!

High dose of Paranoia there? I don't think he said your father was a bad man, and that it was a direct accusation. Perhaps your more insecure that you realise, judging from the relatively aggressive tone of your post. It is not fine for adults to hit adults in society, but by your reasoning it is fine for an adult to hit a child, just because they "deserve it" Is that because they are bigger than them, and they can. Whats the intrinsic difference between hitting a child or an adult? Are they not both people? Sounds more like bullying to me. It teaches that hitting someone is a legitimate way to express your opinions/emotions about a problem or matter. And it would seem that you have accepted that trait yourself as you said ,

"Now, if I had a son, there is a good chance a leather belt might have been used...."

There are many other ways to discipline a child, and taking chunks out of them is not one them. Certainly don't think it is a chapter in the "Good Parenting Handbook"...

Redfx.....no you are the one thats off here, trisailor did go on to call jayjay's father terrible things.

This touchy feely crap of dealing with kids is a load of crap, time outs etc don't work, nothing says you messed up like a smak on the bum, its like a reset switch.

I was smacked as a child and it did'nt effect Me, its just this new age crap.....my daddy hit Me and now I can't control my own aggression, or I drink too much, what a load of crap. My father smacked Me and I have never raised my hands to anyone in aggression ( apart from in a boxing ring and it was sparring )

What makes a real Man is a person that is willing to make his own destiny, a person who is willing to accept responsibility when they screw up.

From what I have seen trisailor you don't posses these qualities.

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None of you have offered a alternate explanation of why men seem to be having so much trouble navigating modern life. Why are so many men killing themselves instead of asking for help? How is it that so many men who come here to Thailand can't seem to manage to enjoy the fun that is here without losing the plot. Some of the guys that I know here are falling for the most obvious scams and misunderstand Thailand and Thai women. We've all appreciated the "girlfriend experience" here. It is what makes Thai women so attractive and they know it.

Western women keep telling men that they want a sensitive man, one who can show emotion and cry like they do. They don't; and if we do it with them they will see it as weakness. Many men struggle with "what women want" and I know it makes men crazy trying to figure it out. That's the problem. We shouldn't be worrying about what women want we should be learning what makes a strong man. If we focus on our role as men and cultivate integrity than we are insulated from womens inappropriate demands. The stronger we make ourselves the stronger the relationship. Thai women complain about Thai men being not as sensitive as farang men and some of us see that as a plus for us, but it's not.

I've heard it said that "the man is the head of the family and the woman is the heart" I think thats a good statement. If we are the head than that means that we have a leadership role. Great leaders understand that in order to sustain the respect of those who are lead there are things we don't do. Maintaining respect has it's own set of rules and they are the same for leadership roles in a relationship. It's lonely at the top, but it doesn't have to be. I was fortunate to have older men who I respected mentor me. They didn't do "mens work" they learned it by leading men. The product was the same. The principles of honor and integrity as core values to cultivate were the same.

Unfortunately these kind of men are harder to find these days and so we are left with books that help us to align ourselves. I just finished Eugene Sledge's "with the old breed" one of the books that was the basis for the Pacific series. The company commander Yak Yak was one of those great leaders and I can understand why he was so loved by his men. Another of my hero's is Earnest Shackleton who led a expedition to antartica and under the most difficult conditions imaginable brought all his crew back alive. There are thousands of these kind of leaders who I admire. The question is; can men be great leaders and also have outlets where it is safe for them to re-balance themselves. Sledge had a very difficult time readjusting to normal life. He was fortunate to have a father who understood the horrors of war and a best friend who was a veteran. I think that he could have also benefited from processes that assist men with achieving balance.

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I think it's interesting that many people respond to the original poster with sarcastic implications of homosexuality, which says far more about them than about him.

In fact, he's just a man who seems to have had problems coming to terms with modern western feminism. And as such his experiences probably chime with those of 95% of the male expat community in Thailand - in many cases, it's why they came here.

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If i , had been a high flying exec , had travelled on some kind of special boat , had survived masturbation group therapy , had time to read a lot of books , had a direct line with the deceased , a natural danger revealing sense and bullet proof skin , I would be well happy with that and probably looking for a new hobby like playing the uke or whatever .

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Redfx.....no you are the one thats off here, trisailor did go on to call jayjay's father terrible things. I called him an abuser, that's what the law calls him. Thats what the science calls him. Why bother with science if we refuse to consider the information it produces?

This touchy feely crap of dealing with kids is a load of crap, time outs etc don't work, nothing says you messed up like a smack on the bum, its like a reset switch. It wasn't a "smack on the bum" it was a belt. When you hit a child you rob him of value. Where can you go with hitting? If a smack on the bum is appropriate what about when they do something really bad? Hitting a child is always done out of frustration. We should see that frustration as a measure of our own failure to mold our kids by learning how to be better parents. There is nothing touchy feel about being a strong role model.

I was smacked as a child and it didn't effect Me, its just this new age crap.....my daddy hit Me and now I can't control my own aggression, or I drink too much, what a load of crap. My father smacked Me and I have never raised my hands to anyone in aggression ( apart from in a boxing ring and it was sparring ) Not everyone who was hit has problems in life but the science says that the odds are great that it will so why risk it when the kid is born with a desire to please his father. Both of my kids were strong willed which just made me work harder to find appropriate ways of correcting their behavior. Men don't know if they were screwed up but the evidence is crystal clear in the science. Depression and anxiety are widespread and there is a direct link to abuse.

What makes a real Man is a person that is willing to make his own destiny, a person who is willing to accept responsibility when they screw up.

From what I have seen trisailor you don't posses these qualities. Please share with me what qualities you think I don't posses. I am saying the same thing as you are about making your own destiny and accepting responsibility for your actions. I submit that educating ourselves about what it means to be a strong man who commands the respect of our kids so we don't have to hit them should be the goal. Accepting responsibility is exactly what I'm talking about

Edited by trisailer
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"In fact, he's just a man who seems to have had problems coming to terms with modern western feminism. And as such his experiences probably chime with those of 95% of the male expat community in Thailand - in many cases, it's why they came here."

I admit that I'm not the greatest writer but lets get a basic fact straight! I engaged in a process to examine myself 20 years ago. As a result I have lived and I am living a happy balanced life. I continue to be open to self exploration and I am not afraid if considering different points of view. I don't know where you get the idea that I'm in crisis. I stated that my personal issues were effecting me 20 years ago and I did something about.

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"If i , had been a high flying exec , had travelled on some kind of special boat , had survived masturbation group therapy , had time to read a lot of books , had a direct line with the deceased , a natural danger revealing sense and bullet proof skin , I would be well happy with that and probably looking for a new hobby like playing the uke or whatever"

See, now your starting to get it! That's the whole point. I love the life I have I don't need a new hobby because it is enough just to be who I am.

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Redfx.....no you are the one thats off here, trisailor did go on to call jayjay's father terrible things. I called him an abuser, that's what the law calls him. Thats what the science calls him. Why bother with science if we refuse to consider the information it produces?

This touchy feely crap of dealing with kids is a load of crap, time outs etc don't work, nothing says you messed up like a smack on the bum, its like a reset switch. It wasn't a "smack on the bum" it was a belt. When you hit a child you rob him of value. Where can you go with hitting? If a smack on the bum is appropriate what about when they do something really bad? Hitting a child is always done out of frustration. We should see that frustration as a measure of our own failure to mold our kids by learning how to be better parents. There is nothing touchy feel about being a strong role model.

I was smacked as a child and it didn't effect Me, its just this new age crap.....my daddy hit Me and now I can't control my own aggression, or I drink too much, what a load of crap. My father smacked Me and I have never raised my hands to anyone in aggression ( apart from in a boxing ring and it was sparring ) Not everyone who was hit has problems in life but the science says that the odds are great that it will so why risk it when the kid is born with a desire to please his father. Both of my kids were strong willed which just made me work harder to find appropriate ways of correcting their behavior. Men don't know if they were screwed up but the evidence is crystal clear in the science. Depression and anxiety are widespread and there is a direct link to abuse.

What makes a real Man is a person that is willing to make his own destiny, a person who is willing to accept responsibility when they screw up.

From what I have seen trisailor you don't posses these qualities. Please share with me what qualities you think I don't posses. I am saying the same thing as you are about making your own destiny and accepting responsibility for your actions. I submit that educating ourselves about what it means to be a strong man who commands the respect of our kids so we don't have to hit them should be the goal. Accepting responsibility is exactly what I'm talking about

You are judging Jay jay's father by todays standards yet this happened maybe 30 years ago, need I say more .....its just a crazy thing to say.

The kids of today become the adults of tommorow and I can tell you in Australia we are in a lot of trouble, I am not talking as a 60 year old Male either I am 35 and the kids of today have 0% respect for the law, for others and for themselves.

A good smack would do them good.

As for you ,well you have plenty of issues, I can't help you with them but please don't judge others based on your own twisted view of the World and how We fit into it.

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"If i , had been a high flying exec , had travelled on some kind of special boat , had survived masturbation group therapy , had time to read a lot of books , had a direct line with the deceased , a natural danger revealing sense and bullet proof skin , I would be well happy with that and probably looking for a new hobby like playing the uke or whatever"

See, now your starting to get it! That's the whole point. I love the life I have I don't need a new hobby because it is enough just to be who I am.

Every day is a school day .

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"In fact, he's just a man who seems to have had problems coming to terms with modern western feminism. And as such his experiences probably chime with those of 95% of the male expat community in Thailand - in many cases, it's why they came here."

I admit that I'm not the greatest writer but lets get a basic fact straight! I engaged in a process to examine myself 20 years ago. As a result I have lived and I am living a happy balanced life. I continue to be open to self exploration and I am not afraid if considering different points of view. I don't know where you get the idea that I'm in crisis. I stated that my personal issues were effecting me 20 years ago and I did something about.

Fair play to you trisailor. And i agree you do consider other points of view unlike other self serving, up their own ar*e, twa*s on here.

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None of you have offered a alternate explanation of why men seem to be having so much trouble navigating modern life. Why are so many men killing themselves instead of asking for help? How is it that so many men who come here to Thailand can't seem to manage to enjoy the fun that is here without losing the plot. Some of the guys that I know here are falling for the most obvious scams and misunderstand Thailand and Thai women. We've all appreciated the "girlfriend experience" here. It is what makes Thai women so attractive and they know it.

I did, but you didn't pay attention, no point doing a mens group if you only talk and never listen to others.

Read my post about western men being marginalized and restricted access to sex.

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Western women keep telling men that they want a sensitive man, one who can show emotion and cry like they do. They don't; and if we do it with them they will see it as weakness. Many men struggle with "what women want" and I know it makes men crazy trying to figure it out. That's the problem. We shouldn't be worrying about what women want we should be learning what makes a strong man. If we focus on our role as men and cultivate integrity than we are insulated from womens inappropriate demands. The stronger we make ourselves the stronger the relationship. Thai women complain about Thai men being not as sensitive as farang men and some of us see that as a plus for us, but it's not.

I was reading an article about genetic drift in modern man.

It was saying that the modern womans preference to breed with violent and dangerous men was selecting the human species for the qualities of increased violence.

It then went on to point out the increasing tendency for wars and mass destruction in the 20th centenary was pretty much the fault of women and their breeding preferences.

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You are judging Jay jay's father by todays standards yet this happened maybe 30 years ago, I completly agree that it was a different standard 30 years ago. All the boys that I grew up with were getting beaten. need I say more .....its just a crazy thing to say.

The kids of today become the adults of tommorow and I can tell you in Australia we are in a lot of trouble, I am not talking as a 60 year old Male either I am 35 and the kids of today have 0% respect for the law, for others and for themselves. Again I agree and that's what makes this such an important topic. Young men will respect authority if the authority figures are worthy of respect. What saved me was not the beatings but the people who I respected and wanted to be like.

A good smack would do them good. The science and my own experence says otherwise. It is a fact that the reason that so many young men are in trouble is because parents are not doing their job. They are not doing their job because they don't have the proper skills and seem unwilling to recognize their own failure and do something about it.

As for you ,well you have plenty of issues, Your the second one who claims I have issues. Please enlighten me with what issues you think I have. I can't help you with I didn't come here looking for help if your reading comprehension skills were up to snuff you would know that. them but please don't judge others based on your own twisted view of the World and how We fit into it.

I think we all agree that the world is screwed up I raised this topic to discuss why. What do you think? Most of us know men who we respect and trust and who we would gladly do anything for. What is it that makes them that way? I feared my father but I never respected him. How is it that we would be willing to enter the gates of hell with some men and not others?

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I think we all agree that the world is screwed up I raised this topic to discuss why. What do you think? Most of us know men who we respect and trust and who we would gladly do anything for. What is it that makes them that way? I feared my father but I never respected him. How is it that we would be willing to enter the gates of hell with some men and not others?

Men being marginalized!

We no longer have a purpose in life so we all go crazy!

(purpose being wife, family, protector, provider)

At least in Thailand and Asia we men still have a chance at playing that game.

Edited by sarahsbloke
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I think to be clear. I don't think anyone has made comment about communicating your feelings as being gay.

I think the gay comments came from the OP's reference the 7yr old child sex, talking about masturbation in a group environment, and then the recommendation that men should get drunk and try it.

That is the gay part.

Talking about how you feel. Not gay

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Before I came to Thailand I was fortunate to have been a member of a mens group of 12 men who were interested in examing what it means to be a man and how to balance ourselves to achieve a happy life

I'm so sorry if my comment sounds discriminatory in any way, but I have to ask:

Are you American??

:D does sound american

mmmmmm... Is Boy George and Elton John American?

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I think we all agree that the world is screwed up I raised this topic to discuss why. What do you think? Most of us know men who we respect and trust and who we would gladly do anything for. What is it that makes them that way? I feared my father but I never respected him. How is it that we would be willing to enter the gates of hell with some men and not others?

Men being marginalized!

We no longer have a purpose in life so we all go crazy!

(purpose being wife, family, protector, provider)

At least in Thailand and Asia we men still have a chance at playing that game.

Agreed. And none of us needed to share our feelings to recognize this. Trisailer will be mortified...

Edited by gregb
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Before I came to Thailand I was fortunate to have been a member of a mens group of 12 men who were interested in examing what it means to be a man and how to balance ourselves to achieve a happy life

I'm so sorry if my comment sounds discriminatory in any way, but I have to ask:

Are you American??

:D does sound american

Damned if he don't sound American!

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Reading the responses to my post makes it clear why men are responsible for so much wreckage in society.

If this topic makes you uncomfortable or 6.7% more gay than you better stop reading now because this next post may put you over the edge. If you think that being beaten with a leather belt was OK for you than I suggest you ask your children how they felt about it when you did it to them because you were 100 times more likely to beat your own kids. You don't just get over it, you pass it along.

Raising the issue of what it means to be a strong, honorable man in the modern world should not threaten your sexuality unless you already have some doubts. There is a world of information out there on this topic because most men seeking balance are not afraid of self examination. I stated that I am a better man because of my exploration of the topic and I know that my son is a far better man because I made the effort and not pass down to him the dysfunction that is the direct result of mens failure to get a grip.

Ignorance truly is bliss and I am well aware of that. You don't know what you don't know and if your happy to live with that and the products of your ignorance have at it. The statistics which record the wreckage of mens inability to navigate their lives clinging to ignorance are staggering. If you were all so well adjusted I would think that suicide, depression, anxiety, domestic violence, and the multitude of compulsive behaviors would not exist. Unfortunately they do.

  • Every 17 minutes another life is lost to suicide. Every day 86 Americans take their own life and over 1500 attempt suicide.
  • Suicide was the eighth leading cause of death of all Americans, the third leading cause of death for young people 15-24.
  • For every two victims of homicide in the U.S. there are three deaths from suicide.
  • There are now twice as many deaths due to suicide than due to HIV/AIDS.
  • Between 1952 and 1995, the incidence of suicide among adolescents and young adults nearly tripled.
  • White men accounted for 72% of all suicides. Women are more likely to attempt suicide. However, men are four times more likely to die from suicide than are women.
  • Suicide accounts for l in 100 deaths. The majority of those who die in this way are men.
    A worrying recent trend is the increasing rate of suicide among younger men (a trend not seen among young women). The majority of these men have not asked for help before their deaths.
  • Social isolation: those who kill themselves often live alone and have little contact with others. They may have been recently widowed or have never married
  • The reasons why the number of men taking their own lives has risen in recent years are far from clear. All of the proposed explanations share a common feature – the changing role of men in society.
  • Boys don't cry
    In many societies, expressing emotions, for example sadness, fear, disappointment or regret, is seen as being less acceptable for boys than girls.
  • Troubling new data show there are an average of 950 suicide attempts each month by veterans who are receiving some type of treatment from the Veterans Affairs Department.
  • Since WW2 more veteran men have died from suicide than from war.
  • Here's another telling statistic that validates men's mental health. Between 600,000 and 6 million women are victims of domestic violence each year, and between 100,000 and 6 million men, depending on the type of survey used to obtain the data. The health-related costs of intimate partner violence exceed $5.8 billion each year.
  • I don't know what the statistics for men behaving badly in Thailand are but I'm guessing that it is worse. One only has to read the endless stories of men who come here and go off the rails. The US State Department has recently added a requirement for a K-1 visa that the sponsor has not been convicted of domestic violence. No doubt they saw a problem with mens inability to cope with the demands of a multicultural relationship.

There's more. Twenty percent of women and ten percent of men are physically abused by men. Depression and anxiety are the fastest growing medical conditions in the US. Over half the population are on antidepressants and sleep aids already. There is a direct connection between these conditions and the growing obesity problems.

These terrible issues are the direct result of mens "isolation" and their misunderstanding of modern mens roles. The numbers are roughly the same for gay men as straight men. The latest growing problem is male on male rape in the military.

So again I ask what is wrong with trying to learn something about the issues that produce all this wreckage? I don't mean to suggest that everyone should go out and join a mens group. It worked for me 20 years ago, but I give it little thought these days. I only raised the issue because I am wittiness daily to pathetic men who seem to lack an ounce of dignity and honor.

If your life is happy and balanced, good for you. It is likely due to having strong male role models. If you are one of the many who think it gay to have an open mind well, I feel sorry for you.

73% of all statistics are made up on the spur of the moment

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Well Sir, I did not know it could be that difficult to be a man. Sure a shackle is missing somewhere in your life. Seminars ? Could be a visit to a psychiatrist would pay off better.<br>To be a man is to LIVE. Cool your head in a bucket of water before you'll kick off the bucket.<br>If you are not interested to investigate your wife at night, then maybe change for a more sexy one or for a more naughty, or for a younger one, or both...<br><br>Maybe a reason you came to Thailand as your case " the difficulty to be a MAN ", seems to be quite common in this country ?<br><br>Whatever don't try to recall your problems to ALL the males of the Creation. Most live their lives with no wonders, or at least no wonder concerning their gender...<br><br>Men would understand men better ? There are 1001 sorts of men. Frankly, I'm not much interested with men of your sort...<br>Women would not understand men ? No problem: we are to COMPLETE one each others. It's the Law of Nature...<br>

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