Talking On Eggshells

[Nam Kao]

Interesting thing happened to my thai wife and myself. We have some freinds

(Thai wife / Falang husband) living in LOS and we call and talk occasionally. I am

still in the US and I like hearing his stories on how he adapts there etc. So 3

weeks ago I was talking to his wife in a pleasant conversation about how I am

preparing to move over. I told her I read alot of websites on Thailand and try

to learn as much as I can. She said "what have you learned?". I said "well I need to

be careful over there, alot of falangs get ripped off". I told her about all the scams

I read about etc. She said "very good you learn about this". Then my wife gets on the

phone with her and she tells my wife "your husband very smart". They end the

conversation and all is fine.

A week later my wife calls her up wanting to ask her something and the Wife

answers the phone and then instantly hangs up on my wife. My wife tries again

and someone else answers the phone and says she is not there. This goes on and

on and my wife is feeling sad. I told my wife what I said and she thinks I may of

offended her by saying that. My wife also said she may be taking this guy for

a ride and she will keep me away from him "because I falang know too much"

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth. Its gonna be interesting

[JemJem]

Well....you may have offended the lady...I don't know the exact words/nature of the conversation so I cannot say much.

By the way, when one hears the remark 'Farang roo mahk'_'Farang knows too much'_ expression in Thailand, it is sometimes really annoying. I mean if it said jokingly, it is all right but if it is said in a negative way, it sure is annoying for the foreigner.

Regards,

Jem

[singa-traz]

I told her I read alot of websites on Thailand and try

to learn as much as I can. She said "what have you learned?". I said "well I need to

be careful over there, alot of falangs get ripped off". I told her about all the scams

I read about etc. She said "very good you learn about this". Then my wife gets on the

phone with her and she tells my wife "your husband very smart". They end the

conversation and all is fine.

...

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth. Its gonna be interesting

Think about it, if you only told her that all you learn about Thailand is how Thai people rip off Foreigners ...

What do you expect ? ... a "Welcome to Thailand" with a smile ... that would be suspicious ...

Keep preparing your relocation

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I told her I read alot of websites on Thailand and try

to learn as much as I can. She said "what have you learned?". I said "well I need to

be careful over there, alot of falangs get ripped off". I told her about all the scams

I read about etc. She said "very good you learn about this". Then my wife gets on the

phone with her and she tells my wife "your husband very smart".  They end the

conversation and all is fine.

...

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth. Its gonna be interesting

Think about it, if you only told her that all you learn about Thailand is how Thai people rip off Foreigners ...

What do you expect ? ... a "Welcome to Thailand" with a smile ... that would be suspicious ...

Keep preparing your relocation

Maybe work on not offending people by denigrating their countrymen. Your biggest worry about getting ripped off here will come from fellow farangs.

[meemiathai]

I will know what to expect from them if I told the people I know in London how I really felt about London! So I think farangs and thais are not much different in this aspect.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth. Its gonna be interesting

Without a 180 degree turnaround your chances here are slim on the upside, nil on the downside. Generalizing in anti Thai sentiment won't have a good outcome for you.

[Candyflip]

It was definitely offended!!!

The stories you have heard here might be true but it does not mean all thai would behave the same.

Saying the nagative thing as the first thing you have learnt about the country is not very wise eventhough its interesting ( for you!). They might wonder why the ###### this farang wanna move to their country if he thinks or learnt that thai people will rip him off. No wonder your wife had been treated like that. It s normal reaction to show that they dont wanna socialize with u.

It is really offended I confirm.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Maerim is now officially a member of the Hate Thai Party albeit that the membership cheque bounced. He'll understand why his post was removed. Well he'd better.

[Pink Mist]

I reckon he's a "closet wowser" too.

[pantarei]

Nam Kao Posted on Sat 2003-12-27, 16:28:13

I told her I read alot of websites on Thailand and try

to learn as much as I can. She said "what have you learned?". I said "well I need to be careful over there, alot of falangs get ripped off". I told her about all the scams I read about etc.

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth. Its gonna be interesting.

I avoid foreigners who inform that the Americans are "warmongers". Don't you?

I have been to Thailand at least 10 times in the last 15 years (business, sanook, sightseeing). I was ripped off ONCE - by a taxi driver. I didn't even argue with him as the amount involved was about US$2.

BTW, on several occasions I overpaid in 7-11s, restaurants, and wasn't even aware of it (I am pretty careless when I make small purchases in Thailand because US$1= 40 baht). The money was returned to me with a smile. People generally focus on their negative experiences (unfortunately).

[parryhandy]

Interesting thing happened to my thai wife and myself. We have some freinds

(Thai wife / Falang husband) living in LOS and we call and talk occasionally. I am

still in the US and I like hearing his stories on how he adapts there etc. So 3

weeks ago I was talking to his wife in a pleasant conversation about how I am

preparing to move over. I told her I read alot of websites on Thailand and try

to learn as much as I can. She said "what have you learned?". I said "well I need to

be careful over there, alot of falangs get ripped off". I told her about all the scams

I read about etc. She said "very good you learn about this". Then my wife gets on the

phone with her and she tells my wife "your husband very smart". They end the

conversation and all is fine.

A week later my wife calls her up wanting to ask her something and the Wife

answers the phone and then instantly hangs up on my wife. My wife tries again

and someone else answers the phone and says she is not there. This goes on and

on and my wife is feeling sad. I told my wife what I said and she thinks I may of

offended her by saying that. My wife also said she may be taking this guy for

a ride and she will keep me away from him "because I falang know too much"

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth. Its gonna be interesting

If hes a good friend get hold of him and find out whats going on .The woman is obviously hiding something.Why stop speaking to you or your wife just because you have made the valid point to this woman that its a "jungle out there".If the situation were reveresed and somebody had said what you said about my country i would not be offended after all you are a foreigner just being careful. Depending on my views I would either agree with you and say yes you have to be careful blah blah or i would disagree and reassure you that everything is ok.The only reason i would disassociate myself from you or your wife is if i had something to hide and your friendship with my partner might lead him to find out things which i do not want him to know.

get on that phone NOW.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Your biggest worry about getting ripped off here will come from fellow farangs.

Despite Parry's intellectual contribution, it remains true that farangs have more to fear from farangs than they do from Thai. Why would those of obviously negative outlooks and anti Thai sentiments, bother to come to Thailand ? It really is beyond me.

[Pink Mist]

I've met guys in Patong you shake hands then count your fingers, most of the Farang seem to have the old "have I got a deal for you" going down.

[parryhandy]

Your biggest worry about getting ripped off here will come from fellow farangs.

Despite Parry's intellectual contribution, it remains true that farangs have more to fear from farangs than they do from Thai. Why would those of obviously negative outlooks and anti Thai sentiments, bother to come to Thailand ? It really is beyond me.

I must admit i have a very negative outlook sometimes about certain aspects of Thailand.But the good things far outway the bad.By sharing views and experiences about the bad things though, hopefully it will help to educate people and so help them not to make similar mistakes and therefore they will only have mainly good experiences and tales to tell.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Then why not indicate a fair balance. You did not.

[KevinN]

I really can not understand why everyone except parryhandy is on this guys ass because he thinks that there are somethings to be wary of and everybody saying "why come here with your negative attitude".

Before I came here to live I had been here on R R and on cargo ships so was not a new thing,,but I had met a couple of females on the web and we talked for the last year that I was still in the states,and was repeatedly warned about being careful when I got here,and this was by Thai women that were university grads that had lived here all or most of their lives and owned large houses in downtown BKK.

I am not worried about thieves and robbers or ripoffs in general,,but my wife makes sure that the car is always locked,even when in the driveway,house is always locked when we even go 2 door down to her sisters, I can't leave my wallet laying on the dining room table without her raising ######,she worries about me leaving my tools,both hand and power on our back porch. I am a farang and aint worried and she is a Thai and worried silly about being ripped off.

Look about when down in town,,do you ever see a Thai get out of their car and walk off with out locking it,? I don't think so,even to walk straight from the car into 7/11 and buy a pack of smokes and never out of sight of the car,so if they don't trust each other,why should this guy coming here green trust them??

And he reads all the threads on here where guys is getting screwed or conned out of their money.

So if that is the case ,,then why is everyone on this guys ass??

[markt]

Rip offs in thailand..........

are they confined to the touristy areas?

[singa-traz]

I really can not understand why everyone except parryhandy is on this guys ass because he thinks that there are somethings to be wary of and everybody saying "why come here with your negative attitude"

...

So if that is the case ,,then why is everyone on this guys ass??

The guy can think whatever he wants ... but telling this to his wife's friend over the phone, and then telling us on this board that he do not understand her reaction ... shows that he has a long way before he can understand Thailand.

Actually, he looks like a perfect target to be scammed, as obviously he did not learn enough

[meemiathai]

The guy can think whatever he wants ... but telling this to his wife's friend over the phone, and then telling us on this board that he do not understand her reaction ... shows that he has a long way before he can understand Thailand.

Spot on!

[sbk]

Agreed singa-traz. True or not it is still rude, in any culture! Imagine how you would feel if she said something equally awful and just as uninformed to you about your home? Put yourself in her shoes and then, perhaps, you can understand her unwillingness to be your friend.

[Axel]

Its so easy to offend these people, even when its the truth.

I avoid foreigners who inform that the Americans are....

I was once asked by a customer, where in my home country one can buy clean, bottled water in preparation for his trip. Actually, I felt offended knowing the hygiene here and there.

Don't ever critisize, even if you are right. Once the people know you, you can discuss but be careful and don't overdo it. By heart every local knows the short comings, why spoil the athmosphere by putting a finger to it?

pantarei, I quoted a part of your post, just to prove my point. Nobody wants to be told about the shortcomings. (I don't want to steal this threat or to start a discussion on your comment, which I shortened)

On the long run, however, I would join in a discussion with foreigners to hear their opinion(s). You don't have to agree to all what they say, however, one big point in travelling, you meet other people and can learn from other opinions. For me it worked, to get out of my national cage and widen my horizon.

[Johnny Moron]

Your biggest worry about getting ripped off here will come from fellow farangs.

Despite Parry's intellectual contribution, it remains true that farangs have more to fear from farangs than they do from Thai. Why would those of obviously negative outlooks and anti Thai sentiments, bother to come to Thailand ? It really is beyond me.

Because it makes them feel superior; it gives them an inflated self-importance; it enables them to make the transition from nobodies to all-knowing intellectuals with the answer to everything.

The letters' page in the Bangkok Post is a fine example of this; fools who would never be published back home are all too often granted column inches in which to air disparaging and ill-informed "views".

An obvious parallel exists at the red light areas. Ordinary men become "handsome'; ageing and obese men learn that they have "good hearts"; misfits discover that they come from "good countries". It's all about ego.

It's pathetic, but it's a reality.

[griser]

My opinion on the matter is two fold.

ONE: He could have delivered the statement in a more politically correct manner. I don't believe it was truly a horrible statement however.

TWO: The lady in question seems quite thin skinned! At the most she should have reacted to the situation by being annoyed rather than breaking all ties.

Since this lady reacted the way she did, she may not be a good choice for a friend in any case! Who needs a hothead that explodes at the slightest provocation.

As most Thai people in my experience are more civil than her I would lean towards her having an alterior motive for the break in communication.

My two cents!

greg

[Nam Kao]

Thanks for the replies.

Well it sounds like I made a mistake saying that, I was very pleasant and

it just came to my mind when i was talking to her. And she agreed whole

heartedly with me.

But it was no more than when was I standing in the US Embassy picking up my

wifes visa and while we waited we talked to 3 young Thai girls with tickets to

NYC for the first time. I told my wife "explain to these girls to be very careful over

there etc". And the girls seemed happy I told them.

All this said, I still believe Thais are thin(ner) skinned and choose your words carefully.

My wife even agrees.

regards

nam

[parryhandy]

Your biggest worry about getting ripped off here will come from fellow farangs.

Despite Parry's intellectual contribution, it remains true that farangs have more to fear from farangs than they do from Thai. Why would those of obviously negative outlooks and anti Thai sentiments, bother to come to Thailand ? It really is beyond me.

Because it makes them feel superior; it gives them an inflated self-importance; it enables them to make the transition from nobodies to all-knowing intellectuals with the answer to everything.

The letters' page in the Bangkok Post is a fine example of this; fools who would never be published back home are all too often granted column inches in which to air disparaging and ill-informed "views".

An obvious parallel exists at the red light areas. Ordinary men become "handsome'; ageing and obese men learn that they have "good hearts"; misfits discover that they come from "good countries". It's all about ego.

It's pathetic, but it's a reality.

You dont know me but i see where your coming from but let me tell you this .Not for a single minute do i consider myself superior , self important etc .I have answered a question (on an anonymous forum) based on my experience on knowing closely people from all walks of life and having lived in Thailand with my wife and our 3 children in a village with a very high number (50+) of farang / Thai relationships.If id have never set foot in Thailand in my life id have still given the same advice.

From what the guy wrote especially the opinion of his wifes (a Thai) the womans reaction wasnt one of a pride hurt nationalist it was the reaction of "he knows the score" ######.Read his post his wife beleived that her friend was taking him for a ride.Thats right his THAI wife not a self important know it all farang .

Give me strength.

[parryhandy]

Thanks for the replies.

Well it sounds like I made a mistake saying that, I was very pleasant and

it just came to my mind when i was talking to her. And she agreed whole

heartedly with me.

But it was no more than when was I standing in the US Embassy picking up my

wifes visa and while we waited we talked to 3 young Thai girls with tickets to

NYC for the first time. I told my wife "explain to these girls to be very careful over

there etc". And the girls seemed happy I told them.

All this said, I still believe Thais are thin(ner) skinned and choose your words carefully.

My wife even agrees.

regards

nam

You said it yourself the reaction from a friend would be yes be careful you can get ripped off in my country like ANY country so why the sudden cold shoulder ?

[parryhandy]

My opinion on the matter is two fold.

ONE: He could have delivered the statement in a more politically correct manner. I don't believe it was truly a horrible statement however.

TWO: The lady in question seems quite thin skinned! At the most she should have reacted to the situation by being annoyed rather than breaking all ties.

Since this lady reacted the way she did, she may not be a good choice for a friend in any case! Who needs a hothead that explodes at the slightest provocation.

As most Thai people in my experience are more civil than her I would lean towards her having an alterior motive for the break in communication.

My two cents!

greg

spot on ! though she didnt act like a hothead did she as you would expect if youd have hurt someones feelings over the phone ?

[KenUdon]

Then why not indicate a fair balance. You did not

Dr P.P. We have had this argument several times I know, but it does work BOTH ways.

If you consider the balance of the replies to NamKaos slightly insensitive conversation with the Thai girl, it is only right for Parryhandy to give an alternative view also. The others did not in general give ANY negative view so why should Parryhandy emphasise a positive?

Incidentally, my Thai wife always is extremely suspicious in any business dealings with a Thai. She herself says they just can not be trusted. Out of the horses mouth?

No, they are not all like that, but to have that view expressed by a Thai must be an indication that there is some substance to it.

Once again, you MUST respect the view of other people here, even if it does not agree with your own. It is very misleading to encourage a rose tinted outlook on all things Thai. There is good and bad here, but I have NEVER seen the slightest negative posting from you. You know the situation here as well if not better than I. If you don't want to tell it as it is.............let others at least have their say without the inference that they are wrong.

Regards

[penelope]

It is interesting ; with upper class Thais "farang roo mak" is a good thing. With lower class Thais / Issanians "farang roo mak" seems to be a bad thing.

[ThaiAdventure]

Then why not indicate a fair balance. You did not

Dr P.P. We have had this argument several times I know, but it does work BOTH ways.

If you consider the balance of the replies to NamKaos slightly insensitive conversation with the Thai girl, it is only right for Parryhandy to give an alternative view also. The others did not in general give ANY negative view so why should Parryhandy emphasise a positive?

Incidentally, my Thai wife always is extremely suspicious in any business dealings with a Thai. She herself says they just can not be trusted. Out of the horses mouth?

No, they are not all like that, but to have that view expressed by a Thai must be an indication that there is some substance to it.

Once again, you MUST respect the view of other people here, even if it does not agree with your own. It is very misleading to encourage a rose tinted outlook on all things Thai. There is good and bad here, but I have NEVER seen the slightest negative posting from you. You know the situation here as well if not better than I. If you don't want to tell it as it is.............let others at least have their say without the inference that they are wrong.

Regards

Me thinks someone has been tugging Dr Pongs strings recently! Certainly over the last few weeks he has been.....lets say, overzealous!