Are You A Compulsive Cheater?

[BambinA]

So is it just me or is everyone a dawg cheater like me???

no...when i have BF , i hve never ever cheated on him

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So, you are an angel after all, huh? Devil girl is just an act is it?

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but its true

Personally I think, if you cheat on your partner, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did, you would never want to cause them hurt or humiliation.

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agree with Boo na ja

but thing is different alil bit between guys and girls ..(ok i dont mean who is better than whom)

for guys (mostly..but not all) can have sex when h-orny ...that time brian is lower down to the organ lower the navel ..so they can do it even, love or not .. so its easilier for guys to cheat on partner

girls.. we need more than that (we need to have familiar , comfy, and have a good feeling with that guy in a level, and impress with the guy ...)

and from this reason .. no doubt after have sex.. girl will be sunk in her emotion and can fall in love with guy..coz we just think he is a special person (and also think ..guys'd think in the same way as us) .. but..fact is ..sometime guy just dont even care...

just want to make his lil brother cry ..

[TRIPxCORE]

A man's true nature is not to be monogamous.  It is a man's nature to spread his seed into anything he can.  That's just the way it is and our bodies will never change.  Over time, people have placed these rules of monogamy on ourselves to show loyalty to our partners.  It never started out this way but it has become this way. 

I do believe a person should remain loyal to one he/she loves or cares about.  But at the same time, it is also possible for one to love or care deeply about more than one person at a time too.  Lots of grey area in this matter IMO.

Have I ever cheated?  No.  Have I come close before?  Yes!  I don't feel bad about it because the person was someone I care about and have real feelings for.

Where did you find this wonderful revelation about man's true nature? Do they talk about woman's true nature too?

Don't sit there and act like you don't know what I mean. If you truly do not know, go read.

[Fast Eddie]

I'm with Boo on this one. If you love someone then you are considerate of their feelings. If you are a  serial cheater then  it's best to be straight with the girl from the start. Then, its her choice to put up with you or not. But don't fool yourself (or her) that you love the girl if you are willing to cheat on her ...again and again.

I guess it goes without saying that I am not a cheater then? 

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But if you are honest with your partner from the start about your philandering ways, surely this is no longer 'cheating'?

If no lies are involved, is it not possible to love the girl whilst still being open to other sexual liasons?

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Yes, but this rarely goes both ways. Just because a person is honest doesn't mean the behavior is acceptable for the partner, agreed? Just because there isn't a lie being told doesn't make it "not cheating" when the partner in the relationship is unhappy with the behavior. Look at it from the other side of the coin, how would you feel if the tables were turned and your lady said, "Hey, I feel like screwing around. You don't mind since I've told you, do you?"

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I guess, in that situation, i would have a choice as to whether i found that definition of a relationship acceptable. If she's told me what she's going to be doing i can't possibly claim that she is 'cheating' in any way, whether i am happy with it or not. If i don't like it, i can move on. Surely 'cheating' implies some form of dishonesty?

I agree that the number of people who are happy with such a relationship are in the minority, it would seem.

[tuky]

I spent 4 years with a girl from Singapore (member XXX knows her) and she cheated on me twice.

I was in LOVE, I could not even think about anything else, even after I knew she had cheated on me, which took place often. I guess I kind of expected it as she was a very sexual person.

I had several woman during that time throw themselves at me (literally) but I never relented (*regret*) as I was in love.

Now, when I think back I realise I wasted too much time, life is short.

I am now married to woman who is my best friend we get along well, we work together well and we have great babies.

However, I will never let myself get into the position I was in before, love is not worth it, friendship is a whole lot better.

Good luck XXX (you know who you are)!!!

[custard]

Id 'make love' with my gf but 'have sex' with other girls.

But of course she wouldn't be allowed to do the same lol.

[Thaipwriter]

how many partners cheat either on a regular basis on you, or have cheated, or think about and attempt to cheat on you on a continuing basis

Would it be too big a generalisation to state that Asian partners take the attitude that "what you dont know about cant hurt you?"

My experiences have made me feel this way, so much so in fact i am sitting in my JCB typing this.

[BambinA]

By the way, she deserves all the unhappiness she gets, along with her b1tch of a mother, funnily enough she was the one that cheated, yet she blames me for the break up. Women are strange yeah?

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just some

[jrincon17]

So is it just me or is everyone a dawg cheater like me???

no...when i have BF , i hve never ever cheated on him

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Did he say woman or man or whatever . Hide the Buffalo's

[jrincon17]

I have only had one serious relationship so far but I'd be telling lies if I said I didn't cheat. It is no excuse but it was towards the end of the relationship and my friends encouraged me to go out for some drinks, at the time it sounded better than looking at the phone all night.

A few drinks later I got chatting to a male my friends had brought along on purpose and before you know it we ended up kissing but I didn't let it go any further. It's still classed as cheating though and I confessed all. It dosen't make it any better but I'd rather tell the truth than carry a burden.

But at the end of the day I'm still a teenager I shouldn't be taking life so seriously It's a whole learning process.

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huh teenager ?

[quadricorrelator]

A man's true nature is not to be monogamous.  It is a man's nature to spread his seed into anything he can.  That's just the way it is and our bodies will never change.  Over time, people have placed these rules of monogamy on ourselves to show loyalty to our partners.  It never started out this way but it has become this way. 

I do believe a person should remain loyal to one he/she loves or cares about.  But at the same time, it is also possible for one to love or care deeply about more than one person at a time too.  Lots of grey area in this matter IMO.

Have I ever cheated?  No.  Have I come close before?  Yes!  I don't feel bad about it because the person was someone I care about and have real feelings for.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May I offer my opinion on this?

I share part of your view. I think that part of man's nature is to spread his seed. But, there are many other parts of his nature which conflict and compete with the "seed spreading" part of his nature.

For example, part of man's nature is to remain loyal to those he loves, and to avoid hurting those we love, and to reduce the chance of destroying the family unit, and to reduce the chance of spreading disease, etc. etc. It is impossible to completely satisfy all parts of our nature simultaneously.

In other words, I believe that believe that man has many parts of his nature which conflict. We can never fully be at peace because of this.

The proper balance for an individual depends on his goals and his situation at the time.

[Mighty Mouse]

All you guys and gals who classify yourselves as loyal, loving, non-cheaters, please leave the forum and go and polish your halo's. They're looking a little tarnished.

Let me ask you this: You are sitting in a crowded room/bar with your partner by your side. You look across at a most attractive person on the other side of the room/bar.

Do you mentally undress that person? Do you imagine yourself in bed with that person and making U turns under the sheets? Do you find such thoughts stimulating?

Is there a difference in physical cheating as opposed to mental cheating?

Do you fantasies about others whilst making love to your partner?

Honest answers required, no cheating please.

[OxfordWill]

Yea..I don't buy it either Mighty Mouse.

Edited November 4, 2005 by OxfordWill

[thaibebop]

All you guys and gals who classify yourselves as loyal, loving, non-cheaters, please leave the forum and go and polish your halo's. They're looking a little tarnished.

Let me ask you this: You are sitting in a crowded room/bar with your partner by your side. You look across at a most attractive person on the other side of the room/bar.

Do you mentally undress that person? Do you imagine yourself in bed with that person and making U turns under the sheets? Do you find such thoughts stimulating?

Is there a difference in physical cheating as opposed to mental cheating?

Do you fantasies about others whilst making love to your partner?

Honest answers required, no cheating please. 

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So, you think that everyone is really just an animal who has no hope of controlling themselves what so ever, becasue lust is...what....just too strong, or our will is just too weak?

Ya know I have had desires to kill people that have been my enemies. I would say that I had a lust that wanted to be fed and killing that person who pissed me off would do it. I never killed anyone. I was able to control myself same as when I walked away from a "sure thing".

So, thoughts are thoughts, as long as they stay that way they have not effected the world around the person thinking them. The minute that person acts based on those thoughts, even it is just speech, those thoughts now take on another form of reality one that is based on the world we share. Do not confuse thought and action, it is that same mistake of confusing lust for love, they are two separate things.

[OxfordWill]

Yes, but similarly, do not confuse desire to kill with desire to ..er..engage in intercourse. As a rational being you are fully aware of the possible consequences of murder and you know them to be significantly worse than the possible consequences of intercourse with someone not your official partner.

[Patex]

...So, thoughts are thoughts, as long as they stay that way they have not effected the world around the person thinking them. The minute that person acts based on those thoughts, even it is just speech, those thoughts now take on another form of reality one that is based on the world we share. Do not confuse thought and action, it is that same mistake of confusing lust for love, they are two separate things.

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Try to stay clean in your thoughts, speech and actions, buddhist fundamental idea. For many people unhonest thinking causes them the same pain then others the "real" action

Patex

[thaibebop]

Yes, but similarly, do not confuse desire to kill with desire to ..er..engage in intercourse. As a rational being you are fully aware of the possible consequences of murder and you know them to be significantly worse than the possible consequences of intercourse with someone not your official partner.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Intercourse can still cause death and suffering. What you lust after defines your lust but lust is lust whether it's money, sex, or blood.

...So, thoughts are thoughts, as long as they stay that way they have not effected the world around the person thinking them. The minute that person acts based on those thoughts, even it is just speech, those thoughts now take on another form of reality one that is based on the world we share. Do not confuse thought and action, it is that same mistake of confusing lust for love, they are two separate things.

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Try to stay clean in your thoughts, speech and actions, buddhist fundamental idea. For many people unhonest thinking causes them the same pain then others the "real" action

Patex

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Right thought is only for the thinker not the person the thinker is interacting with. Right thought will help someone control their actions that is all. Still if you don't know that someone is thinking bad things about you then only the thinker suffers not you.

[baht&sold]

Is there a difference in physical cheating as opposed to mental cheating?

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Yes, one's healthier than the other

Edited November 5, 2005 by baht&sold

[Patex]

thaibebop,

I think you make this matter to easy.

I know (not believe), bad thoughts are not only affecting the thinker. The efford the thinker has to make to hide or compensate his unhonest thoughts are not invisible for those who sympathize with/love him.

Patex

[meemiathai]

Personally I think, if you cheat on your partner, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did, you would never want to cause them hurt or humiliation.

I think differently. If you don't allow your partner to cheat, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did.

[aughie]

Meemiathai, can you explain that further? It's coming off like mumbo jumbo. Free free set them free.

I cheated twice on the same girl. I moved to another city and was flying back once a month to see here. In the meantime some very hot women made it obvious I could have them and my new friends were asking what was wrong with me and...and..whatever. I cheated twice. They were both hot. I could have had more. It turned out the gf had already cheated on me long before. I said fk this and moved her out to be with me. It lasted for awhile longer. But since then no cheating. I don't want her to do it to me so I don't do it. Besides I don't like the feeling of cheating. I like presenting a united front.

[mpdkorat]

A man's true nature is not to be monogamous.  It is a man's nature to spread his seed into anything he can..... 

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So as long as you use a condom it's technically not cheating

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Ah then I cheated last night then. But she has a boyfriend, so she cheated too. I could not help myself she was wearing her college uniform, so I feel that that excuses me

[Gazza]

I'm not a compulsive cheater. I can give up cheating at anytime. I simply choose not to.

[meemiathai]

Meemiathai,  can you explain that further? It's coming off like mumbo jumbo. Free free set them free.

I am saying that if you truly love someone, don't you want to see that someone being able to do whatever he/she wants to do?

[sbk]

Personally I think, if you cheat on your partner, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did, you would never want to cause them hurt or humiliation.

I think differently. If you don't allow your partner to cheat, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did.

Sounds like typical male mumbo-jumbo to justify letting the little head do the thinking

[meemiathai]

Personally I think, if you cheat on your partner, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did, you would never want to cause them hurt or humiliation.

I think differently. If you don't allow your partner to cheat, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did.

Sounds like typical male mumbo-jumbo to justify letting the little head do the thinking

No no no, I'm absolutely not a typical male.

[meom]

Meemiathai,  can you explain that further? It's coming off like mumbo jumbo. Free free set them free.

I am saying that if you truly love someone, don't you want to see that someone being able to do whatever he/she wants to do?

Reminds me of the "story of O"

[meemiathai]

Meemiathai,  can you explain that further? It's coming off like mumbo jumbo. Free free set them free.

I am saying that if you truly love someone, don't you want to see that someone being able to do whatever he/she wants to do?

Reminds me of the "story of O"

????????

[meom]

Meemiathai,  can you explain that further? It's coming off like mumbo jumbo. Free free set them free.

I am saying that if you truly love someone, don't you want to see that someone being able to do whatever he/she wants to do?

Reminds me of the "story of O"

????????

story of O is a french novel by Pauline Reage and basically is about female submission whereby O, the girl in question opens herself to all sorts of horizontal exercise in the name of true love.

[OxfordWill]

Personally I think, if you cheat on your partner, you never really loved them in the truest sense, as if you did, you would never want to cause them hurt or humiliation.

Sounds like typical female mumbo-jumbo to help them justify their jealously and insecurities.

[Ice Maiden]

huh teenager ?

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Yes, I'm seventeen I believe that makes me a teenager.