Are All Thai Boys Spoiled?

[DP25]

Teenagers staying up late, playing computer games, having their own personal transportation, not doing chores...I hope this trend stays in Thailand never comes to America!!1!

[phuturatica]

A big majority of kids all over the world are like this these days. It's a new lazy generation! Obviously you do get the odd exception but rarely.

[zzaa09]

.....and what becomes of them when they're forced to "grow up" and take on some assemblance of responsibility? And a life mate...?? What girl in her right mind would take on such a task?

now you are just making up words.

As a rule....yes.

Don't be offended.

[Cnxforever]

There is no universal answer to this question - sure there are plenty of spoiled young people around here and it is usually the ones from families who can afford to buy them whatever they want - since the family has the means to spoil them they will do it.

Then there is the other side - I have talked to many Thais who when they were children had to get up at 4 AM to gather things in the fields to have a meal in the morning. Who never had any of the things they wanted - but worst of all no perspective.

Because they come from poor families they could not afford to get a higher education - and their outlook for the future is usually a life on minimum wages - if they can find a job at all.

And then there is of course the Thai culture of why would anybody work hard if he doesn't have to?

Don't forget Thais are Buddhists - they are not Christians - the fundamental difference is that Christians push themselves even if they suffer - Buddhists should avoid suffering - explains the lack of drive and ambitions. Accepting your faith as it is - is what they are taught from a very early age.

But to spoil kids is entirely up to whoever raises them - I have met some incredible spoiled kids here - but also very responsible young people.

Two of my best Thai friends have been brought up by their grandmother - hard working, honest people - when one of them found a better paid easier job than the one he had before - he told me "while it's nice for a change not to work so hard - I won't stay there for very long - because it will make me lazy!"

So I am sure there is no easy answer - some kids are spoiled some are not - but of course - don't we all love to spoil our loved ones if we have the means to do it ?

[paulian]

Two middle class Thai kids acting like two middle class Thai kids and for that matter almost all middle class kids their age from any country. What's so surprising ? "Stupid is as stupid does", Maybe it's your fault their spoiled or their mom's. Urh .....

Edited September 9, 2011 by paulian

[robbo1]

Yes I think they are spoiled my missus spoiles the hell out of our little boy.

He is a great little boy always happy but he has the missus wrapped around his little finger which she completely denies but everyone sees.

The wife said to me once that she wanted our son to have a better life than she had as a child, I guess you cannot argue with that.

My wife and her family treat our little boy so well when we are on holidays in LOS and my little fella just takes it all in the clever little bugger.

Just to note our little boy is very caring as well.

[kerryk]

In my experience the lady boy boys both at home and at school seemed to be the hardest working and most willing to help.

Your personal experience speaks volumes, Kerry.

I agree experience is normally helpful as opposed to being clueless. I taught for three years in a government school and of all the cultural differences that bothered me the one that bothered me the most was the teenage boys being allowed to hit and harass the girls. This didn't seem to bother the Thai teachers. It bothered me to see some poor little girl crying after some hormonal adolescent thug beat her up.

The lady boy boys never hit the girls, were polite to the teachers and respectful with their parents. On a personal note I am acquainted with two young men; one a lady man and the other a fem boy (man) who were both nice children growing up and now well educated business owners.

[thaibeachlovers]

Two middle class Thai kids acting like two middle class Thai kids and for that matter almost all middle class kids their age from any country. What's so surprising ? "Stupid is as stupid does", Maybe it's your fault their spoiled or their mom's. Urh .....

Might help if you actually read the posts!

Since when did "middle class" families have to collect insects to eat, and I've only known them 2 months. All that was in the posts, but easier just to blame me!

[Jebhead]

The problems with kids here start from a very young age, look at the examples they are set. There is hardly any structure or guidance from parents or other family members from day 1, everyone just mince about doing what they want. Everyday you see kids running about screaming and the parents just screaming back, one big screamfest!!! They don't get something they scream until they get it - that's not gonna work very well is it!!!

JH

[kerryk]

Did you ever notice Japanese children at the at airports in Japan. The girls seem so well mannered and the boys run wild. Is this just me?

[Gary A]

My Thai wife frequently babysat her 5 year old (now 7) nephew. The boy was totally out of control thus my wife spoiled him even further. One day when he was throwing a tantrum, I went out and cut a bamboo switch. It did take three sets of welts but he is now well behaved. My wife was appalled and told me that his dad would be angry at me. I told her that was fine with me and for her younger sister to find another babysitter. The next time I saw his dad, he asked me what I did to make his son behave. I told him that I have a bamboo switch and it works well. This guy is quite smart and he now has his own bamboo switch despite his wife's objections.

And yes, I have been called a child abuser and it doesn't bother me in the least but you can keep your Dr. Spock opinions to yourselves. Spare the rod and spoil the child is true. Regardless of what some people want to believe, you can't reason with small children.

[Jebhead]

My Thai wife frequently babysat her 5 year old (now 7) nephew. The boy was totally out of control thus my wife spoiled him even further. One day when he was throwing a tantrum, I went out and cut a bamboo switch. It did take three sets of welts but he is now well behaved. My wife was appalled and told me that his dad would be angry at me. I told her that was fine with me and for her younger sister to find another babysitter. The next time I saw his dad, he asked me what I did to make his son behave. I told him that I have a bamboo switch and it works well. This guy is quite smart and he now has his own bamboo switch despite his wife's objections.

And yes, I have been called a child abuser and it doesn't bother me in the least but you can keep your Dr. Spock opinions to yourselves. Spare the rod and spoil the child is true. Regardless of what some people want to believe, you can't reason with small children.

My ex wifes father did this with the younger child - also worked!!! Bamboo sticks is the way forward. When i was at school it was the belt - that's also served it's purpose!!!

JH

[farang000999]

Those teenagers in Siam Square who spend their weekends getting tutored don't seem all that spoiled and I am guessing those weekend classes can't be too cheap considering the rents in that area.

[aneliane]

E-du-ca-tion

If you mean sending them to a uni. Think again, many af them are hanging around shoppingmalls all day.

No education in its first Latin meaning : GUIDANCE, ie real parents with real parenting skills who believe abilities are not related to gender, and teach their children to take part in household work regardless of their gender

[IanForbes]

No, all Thai boys are not spolied.

My three luk-kurung kids aren't and the vast majority of the thousands I've taught over the years aren't spoiled.

Bad parenting can be found in all countires, normally within very poor or very rich family units. There seems to be this parental mentality that if you let them do what they want then they won't bother you. Nothing could be further from the truth. This goes for girls too.

Bingo. I think you nailed it. However, I have noticed that second hand parents seem to have more problems than do parents of the children they've raised since babies. I don't think grand parents are the best at raising young children. They just don't have the interest or energy. Maybe that is the case that the OP is using as an example. There are a LOT of grandmothers looking after young children in Thailand. From my observations that is the norm rather than the exception.

[berryranger]

not all, but most of them are.

and as long as they are not our kids, we can do nothing

[Semper]

E-du-ca-tion

If you mean sending them to a uni. Think again, many af them are hanging around shoppingmalls all day.

No education in its first Latin meaning : GUIDANCE, ie real parents with real parenting skills who believe abilities are not related to gender, and teach their children to take part in household work regardless of their gender

Yes I know what you mean. But the parents nowadays don't do this. Maybe it's a show off thing. We have enough money to buy our children motorcycles, laptops etc.. and they don't have to do any household chores? Who knows

[Atmos]

"Answers from expats with personal experience please"

anyone? easy to say 'yes', and 'most' . . .

for me - my exp

1 sports coaching kids from an orphanage - no indication they were being 'spoilt'

2 partner's nephew, 14; we lived a year on the adjoining farm property; he is up 5.30am with his father, works before going to school 7am, home around 5pm; homework and home work. No PlayStation etc. Weekends helps his dad with the 180r farm and farm contracting business. Maybe one day it'll all be his - two sisters one completed uni, one started medical school in May - maybe they are 'spoilt' by the family working to ensure they have no student loan/debt. Leisure - he swims well, play-fights Muay Thai with friends, wrecks and repairs bicycles not built for jumps etc.

[IanForbes]

Good story, Atmos. Nice to hear the positive side. The 13 year old boy in the Thai family I support is turning into a nice young man and I wouldn't say he is spoiled. There's not enough money in the family to spoil him. I help him and his younger sister as much as I am able to and I've been doing it since the kids were 4 and 5 years old.

[Semper]

Good story, Atmos. Nice to hear the positive side. The 13 year old boy in the Thai family I support is turning into a nice young man and I wouldn't say he is spoiled. There's not enough money in the family to spoil him. I help him and his younger sister as much as I am able to and I've been doing it since the kids were 4 and 5 years old.

and I wouldn't say he is spoiled

How often do you make a housecall?

[IanForbes]

Good story, Atmos. Nice to hear the positive side. The 13 year old boy in the Thai family I support is turning into a nice young man and I wouldn't say he is spoiled. There's not enough money in the family to spoil him. I help him and his younger sister as much as I am able to and I've been doing it since the kids were 4 and 5 years old.

and I wouldn't say he is spoiled

How often do you make a housecall?

Often enough to see how the family lives and what the kids do. And, often enough to get them into a better school that teaches some English. The lad helps with the chores but you can't expect much from any 13 year old...anywhere. We'll see what he is like 5 years from now.

[Semper]

Good story, Atmos. Nice to hear the positive side. The 13 year old boy in the Thai family I support is turning into a nice young man and I wouldn't say he is spoiled. There's not enough money in the family to spoil him. I help him and his younger sister as much as I am able to and I've been doing it since the kids were 4 and 5 years old.

and I wouldn't say he is spoiled

How often do you make a housecall?

Often enough to see how the family lives and what the kids do. And, often enough to get them into a better school that teaches some English. The lad helps with the chores but you can't expect much from any 13 year old...anywhere. We'll see what he is like 5 years from now.

No offence intended. I'm just having a bad day.

[Boo]

Yes the whole male population of thai people are lazy.

That's what you are looking for right? One lazy kid in YOUR family & you get the idea that this is a country wide issue?? amazing farang.

[maccaroni man]

Yes the whole male population of thai people are lazy.

That's what you are looking for right? One lazy kid in YOUR family & you get the idea that this is a country wide issue?? amazing farang.

you might be right. it may be they are just too proud to work

[IanForbes]

Yes the whole male population of thai people are lazy.

That's what you are looking for right? One lazy kid in YOUR family & you get the idea that this is a country wide issue?? amazing farang.

you might be right. it may be they are just too proud to work

:lol:

I guess it's just the group of people we observe on a daily basis. If I worked in a Bangkok office building all day I would have a different opinion of Thais than if I just wandered around the sois in Thai villages.

[Valjean]

I never like to speak about "all" anything, every generalization is false in some cases, and I overall don't like to be saying bad things about people. But in this case I guess my actions say enough...

I've been managing teams of Thais and Expats here for a number of years. I own a business now and my current Thai headcount is 19 women, 1 man (he's Thai/Indian). In this business the past 3 years I've hired 8 Thai men. Only one of them has been satisfactory (attended exchange school in the US), some have been OK, no superstars. 3 I fired outright, the others I was happy to see them go when the time came (sometimes with a nudge). All are university grads, everyone under 35, we do web stuff. Run the range from well to do Bangkok families to people who have been the first generation in their family to go to college and move from the countryside to Bangkok to work.

I don't think it is lazy, they have been by in large hard workers. Spoiled is part of it I guess. It's a bit hard to put my finger on. It's like they aren't tough enough. By contrast the women just come to work with a a better attitude. Just get along, work hard, take direction, help each other and are easier to manage. I can be more direct and harder on them without sulking or getting passive aggressive behaviors. Women are the backbone of the family in most cases, I think they have a no nonsense, this is my job, I have responsibilities, bad stuff will come my way deal with it attitude.

I do interview Thai young men sometimes, I have one job offer out to one with some special skills. But all things being equal I'll always hire the woman. And in fairness to the Thai guys some of this just might be the dynamics between Thais & me an American, it just seems easier to manage Thai women and you get better resuls. I do have several young expat guys and overall no problems there.

Meanwhile my 6 year old luuk-krung sure as heck isn't getting the easy way... It's not genetics, it's culture.

[robblok]

Yes the whole male population of thai people are lazy.

That's what you are looking for right? One lazy kid in YOUR family & you get the idea that this is a country wide issue?? amazing farang.

My wife told me that in general guys are more spoiled then girls. Does that mean every guy is spoiled no it does not. Majority.. I would not know. Seen some good males here nice and friendly so i doubt they all turn into <deleted>.

[Valjean]

I never like to speak about "all" anything, every generalization is false in some cases, and I overall don't like to be saying bad things about people. But in this case I guess my actions say enough...

I've been managing teams of Thais and Expats here for a number of years. I own a business now and my current Thai headcount is 19 women, 1 man (he's Thai/Indian). In this business the past 3 years I've hired 8 Thai men. Only one of them has been satisfactory (attended exchange school in the US), some have been OK, no superstars. 3 I fired outright, the others I was happy to see them go when the time came (sometimes with a nudge). All are university grads, everyone under 35, we do web stuff. Run the range from well to do Bangkok families to people who have been the first generation in their family to go to college and move from the countryside to Bangkok to work.

I don't think it is lazy, they have been by in large hard workers. Spoiled is part of it I guess. It's a bit hard to put my finger on. It's like they aren't tough enough. By contrast the women just come to work with a a better attitude. Just get along, work hard, take direction, help each other and are easier to manage. I can be more direct and harder on them without sulking or getting passive aggressive behaviors. Women are the backbone of the family in most cases, I think they have a no nonsense, this is my job, I have responsibilities, bad stuff will come my way deal with it attitude.

I do interview Thai young men sometimes, I have one job offer out to one with some special skills. But all things being equal I'll always hire the woman. And in fairness to the Thai guys some of this just might be the dynamics between Thais & me an American, it just seems easier to manage Thai women and you get better resuls. I do have several young expat guys and overall no problems there.

Meanwhile my 6 year old luuk-krung sure as heck isn't getting the easy way... It's not genetics, it's culture.

One other thought... All things being equal in the US I'd probably hire a woman over a man. When I said "It's not genetics" perhaps I was wrong, it is; Men versus Women. It plays out different in a different culture but the roots could be the same.

[saengsureeya]

The girls are the same. It's called the new generation, and yes they are spoiled brats wich needs to be dealt with.

[somtampet]

E-du-ca-tion

If you mean sending them to a uni. Think again, many af them are hanging around shoppingmalls all day.

Similar to England,they go uni to piss about all day and smoke dope,and get drunk.Seen a few englsih kids hanging out in shopping malls,strange world aint it.