So Many Broken Families Here

[hotandhumid]

I was having a think today and I estimated around 90% of expats/drifters, call them what you will, that I know have split from the mother of their kid(s) I have a little one and couldn't imagine life without seeing her every day. Yet these fellas just carry on as if they don't care, hanging out in grubby beers bars, getting drunk every day with their cronie pals, thinking they are Tom Cruise to the ladies. Some of these blokes still people support their kids (that is the very least they should do IMO) but some don't even bother to do that, they would prefer to spend their money on booze, drugs and whores than support their own flesh and blood. To me they are scum, and I really don't know how they sleep at night. Maybe there are just too many temptations here to drift and real men can handle the responsibilty of it all.

I appreciate seperations happen all over the world and not just in Thailand, but it does seem very high here, or do I just know a bunch of wronguns? It isn't even just Thai/farang relationships, it's Thais with Thais too. There are so many broken families in this counrty its absolutely incredible. Why have kids if you are not committed or you know you cannot afford them, or you are simply far too selfish to change your ways?

I find the whole thing very disturbing.

Thoughts?

Edited September 24, 2011 by hotandhumid

[regine]

Nope, don`t see it. Hasn't been my experience at all.

Solution? Get new friends and stop hanging around `wrong`uns`.

[toffo9]

I agree but if they still support the child financially then i dont have a problem..

[jimbeam1]

So many broken families here. Where in the UK/World are you writing from?

jb1

[tartempion]

I live in a small village and what I see are Thai men who dump their wives with the kids, guess they change to a younger model.

Many of the dumped women "go work bar" and the white knight picks up the trash, children included.

Thus he is making his life particularly difficult, having a relationship with some low class woman from an other planet and raising kids in a society that ignores so much from Western culture.

At least some here have realized that kids have a better future when raised elsewhere, but not many have the means to do so.

The opposite from "man dumps woman" just happened in my GF's family:

He came here in May to plant rice and his wife had the water delivery man moved in her house (house paid by her mother, thus not his house) and dumped the 6 months young baby.

Last month the man was sent to work in Taiwan on our expense and the child lives with the grand parents and two sisters still at home.

[kerryk]

All my children are adults with their own families.

I told them if they want to visit me in Thailand to leave the husband and kids at home.

I don't know many expats socially in Thailand but the few I do are either unmarried or older with adult children in the West. The working expats I know have Thai families.

Frankly I stay away from anyone who has young children in the West. There are reasons for everything I am sure but I don't want to hear them.

[hotandhumid]

I agree but if they still support the child financially then i dont have a problem..

I take your point there. I heard of one guy (not a friend) who had 2 kids here who went back to the UK and doesn't send a penny over here for his own kids. He is sub human scum, pure and simple.

[manarak]

yes, more broken families here, because at home men are forced to sit at thome without options. and feel like living in a prison.

Why have kids if you are not committed or you know you cannot afford them, or you are simply far too selfish to change your ways?

far too simple, one may have been committed in the past, and then priorities changed. people are changing constantly.

child support is the natural thing to do.

for the rest, everyone only got one life.

[hotandhumid]

yes, more broken families here, because at home men are forced to sit at thome without options. and feel like living in a prison.

Why have kids if you are not committed or you know you cannot afford them, or you are simply far too selfish to change your ways?

far too simple, one may have been committed in the past, and then priorities changed. people are changing constantly.

child support is the natural thing to do.

for the rest, everyone only got one life.

Agree to an extent, but I'm talking about people that are not committed, have no money, too selfish et right from the get go, yet they still go and father children. They do it as it makes them feel that they have something and are not complete losers, using a young child as a pawn to make themselves feel better about themselves. Disgraceful.

As the old saying goes, not everyone can have a driving license but everyone can have a kid.

[welsh1]

yes, more broken families here, because at home men are forced to sit at thome without options. and feel like living in a prison.

Why have kids if you are not committed or you know you cannot afford them, or you are simply far too selfish to change your ways?

far too simple, one may have been committed in the past, and then priorities changed. people are changing constantly.

child support is the natural thing to do.

for the rest, everyone only got one life.

Agree to an extent, but I'm talking about people that are not committed, have no money, too selfish et right from the get go, yet they still go and father children. They do it as it makes them feel that they have something and are not complete losers, using a young child as a pawn to make themselves feel better about themselves. Disgraceful.

As the old saying goes, not everyone can have a driving license but everyone can have a kid.

Think the saying you looking for is...any man can be a Dad, but it take a real man to be a Father

[kerryk]

yes, more broken families here, because at home men are forced to sit at thome without options. and feel like living in a prison.

Why have kids if you are not committed or you know you cannot afford them, or you are simply far too selfish to change your ways?

far too simple, one may have been committed in the past, and then priorities changed. people are changing constantly.

child support is the natural thing to do.

for the rest, everyone only got one life.

Agree to an extent, but I'm talking about people that are not committed, have no money, too selfish et right from the get go, yet they still go and father children. They do it as it makes them feel that they have something and are not complete losers, using a young child as a pawn to make themselves feel better about themselves. Disgraceful.

As the old saying goes, not everyone can have a driving license but everyone can have a kid.

There are many streets that you can walk in tourist areas and you will find that 90% of the women don't have anything to do with raising their children. And don't give me the BS that they have no choice. Thailand is populated with families that farm and women who raise children alone.

If you are looking for expats as opposed to Thai women, I think the figure would be 10 to 1 with the Thai ladies winning the I don't raise my kids contest.

[welsh1]

yes, more broken families here, because at home men are forced to sit at thome without options. and feel like living in a prison.

Why have kids if you are not committed or you know you cannot afford them, or you are simply far too selfish to change your ways?

far too simple, one may have been committed in the past, and then priorities changed. people are changing constantly.

child support is the natural thing to do.

for the rest, everyone only got one life.

Agree to an extent, but I'm talking about people that are not committed, have no money, too selfish et right from the get go, yet they still go and father children. They do it as it makes them feel that they have something and are not complete losers, using a young child as a pawn to make themselves feel better about themselves. Disgraceful.

As the old saying goes, not everyone can have a driving license but everyone can have a kid.

There are many streets that you can walk in tourist areas and you will find that 90% of the women don't have anything to do with raising their children. And don't give me the BS that they have no choice. Thailand is populated with families that farm and women who raise children alone.

If you are looking for expats as opposed to Thai women, I think the figure would be 10 to 1 with the Thai ladies winning the I don't raise my kids contest.

Spot on

[meom]

I agree but if they still support the child financially then i dont have a problem..

I take your point there. I heard of one guy (not a friend) who had 2 kids here who went back to the UK and doesn't send a penny over here for his own kids. He is sub human scum, pure and simple.

It takes two to make a child so why focus on the fathers?

Plenty of scum mothers around as well.

[TheWalkingMan]

No reason to have hate for the non-Thai fathers who fade away and not support their kids. They are just following the modus operandai of the local males. If Thai society thought that it was important for the man to take care of the kids, there would be more social pressure along with enforceable legislation. As it stands now, the man can eat, shoot and leave without worry. It is the nature of Thailand.

And the ladies? Plenty pump out kids and dump them on other grandma without thinking twice about it. Plenty send their daughters off to the bright lights to get cash.

TheWalkingMan

[hotandhumid]

I agree but if they still support the child financially then i dont have a problem..

I take your point there. I heard of one guy (not a friend) who had 2 kids here who went back to the UK and doesn't send a penny over here for his own kids. He is sub human scum, pure and simple.

It takes two to make a child so why focus on the fathers?

Plenty of scum mothers around as well.

Yep. Maybe I will start a thread about them too, but my thread was focused on my own experiences on what I've seen.

[Moonrakers]

How very out of character of the OP to be so judgemental.

[Thongkorn]

Its not just Thailand , Britain is the same , there are 1000 of mongrel parents as i call them, they have many Children to different fathers, and some of the so called top celebrities. They have children to different fathers, they seem to think its the norm ,How do the children think , having brothers and sisters each with different father.

[hotandhumid]

No reason to have hate for the non-Thai fathers who fade away and not support their kids. They are just following the modus operandai of the local males. If Thai society thought that it was important for the man to take care of the kids, there would be more social pressure along with enforceable legislation. As it stands now, the man can eat, shoot and leave without worry. It is the nature of Thailand.

And the ladies? Plenty pump out kids and dump them on other grandma without thinking twice about it. Plenty send their daughters off to the bright lights to get cash.

TheWalkingMan

I agree. Which is why my piece is focused on farangs. I wasn't even going to mention the thai/thai thing and wished I wouldn't have now, as there is no comparison. For the same reasons it's also wrong for the smug poster here earleir who was talkinG about thai woman thinking he had made a great point. You can't compare the thais to farang men, as usual many here will be lining up to disagree but we all know the scenarios are completely different.

[hotandhumid]

How very out of character of the OP to be so judgemental.

I'm just stating facts pal, but you carry on if you think it's all ok to father kids then run for the hills.

[kerryk]

I agree but if they still support the child financially then i dont have a problem..

I take your point there. I heard of one guy (not a friend) who had 2 kids here who went back to the UK and doesn't send a penny over here for his own kids. He is sub human scum, pure and simple.

It takes two to make a child so why focus on the fathers?

Plenty of scum mothers around as well.

Yep. Maybe I will start a thread about them too, but my thread was focused on my own experiences on what I've seen.

I think the experienced posters who have lived in Thailand are trying to tell you that the majority of ex pats are decent guys and that the problem is by far a problem of Thai women and Thai men both numerically and percentage wise. You are looking at a very small sample. After a while when your circle of friends broadens to include thousands of people your opinion will change.

[DP25]

Most expats I know don't even have kids, let alone abandoned them if they do.

[kerryk]

Most expats I know don't even have kids, let alone abandoned them if they do.

True story.

[Moonrakers]

Most expats I know don't even have kids, let alone abandoned them if they do.

I can't think of a single one that has abandoned their kids. The ones that are 'absent' all send money back.

[Pedzie]

So many broken families here. Where in the UK/World are you writing from?

jb1

So many broken families where I live, and that's a city centre in the UK

[Moonrakers]

I think the OP is a terrible father and person for associating with so many clearly irresponsible people.

[HeavyDrinker]

I was having a think today and I estimated around 90% of expats/drifters, call them what you will, that I know have split from the mother of their kid(s) I have a little one and couldn't imagine life without seeing her every day. Yet these fellas just carry on as if they don't care, hanging out in grubby beers bars, getting drunk every day with their cronie pals, thinking they are Tom Cruise to the ladies.

Great thread.

I think the OP should stop hanging around in bars with such losers and take care of his kids....

[hotandhumid]

I've noticed a trait on these forums (or tv, as so many here fondly refer to it as) that a lot of posters seemto answer the poster and NOT the actual post.

This thread is NOT about ME, it's about the subject in the title thread. Is that easy enough to grasp?

There seems to be a lot of irate people on here (sorry, tv) that are looking for the slightest excuse to jump down someones throat.

Interesting.

[welsh1]

Jai yen yen.Jai yen yen....PS, dont forget to post your story on TV, about the time when you do call a Thai ( Bune ya on )..will be well worth a read

[Moonrakers]

This thread is NOT about ME, it's about the subject in the title thread. Is that easy enough to grasp?

I beg to differ.

The fact that nearly all your posts are deriding other people that have nothing to do with you speaks more about yourself then anything else.

[ludditeman]

I was having a think today and I estimated around 90% of expats/drifters, call them what you will, that I know have split from the mother of their kid(s) I have a little one and couldn't imagine life without seeing her every day. Yet these fellas just carry on as if they don't care, hanging out in grubby beers bars, getting drunk every day with their cronie pals, thinking they are Tom Cruise to the ladies. Some of these blokes still people support their kids (that is the very least they should do IMO) but some don't even bother to do that, they would prefer to spend their money on booze, drugs and whores than support their own flesh and blood. To me they are scum, and I really don't know how they sleep at night. Maybe there are just too many temptations here to drift and real men can handle the responsibilty of it all.

You are a hopelessly outdated dinosaur.

In the west, fathers are no longer regarded as necessary to a family, the state has replaced the duties of a father.

Many women (almost 50% of divorced mothers) will drive the man away from his children, if he doesn't leave voluntarily.

The courts, social services and education authorities see the man as a potential danger to his children.

This is the one area where Thailand is ahead of the rest of the world.

Plenty of food to go around, the father doesn't need to provide for the children, off he goes.

I have noticed that many western men are happy to bring up and provide for a Thai mans children.

There are far more western men (nearly every man I know) looking after Thai children than deserting their own IMHO.

Is it right?

Probably not, but you can't stand in the way of progress and the modern world.

Edited September 24, 2011 by ludditeman