Farangs Speaking Thai

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

Some of you undoubtedly speak good Thai.

Others probably speak some ghastly phase-book wiffle in order to get the mandatory 'poot Thai keng' response from some little flibbertigibbet.

HOWEVER - you can always seek to improve.

Note that Thai men - whilst they may speak quietly and tonally - do not speak in a falsetto squeak - so why do you? Speak in your usual masculine timbre.

A farang once said to me that he found the flowing suffix 'kaa' easier to say rather than the abrupt 'KHRAP'.

('the gender re-assignment clinic is that way, Bub.')

So start by saying a loud and confident 'KHRAP' at the end of your Thai sentences. It might make you sound more manly.

[Gohok!]

Well, I guess I could...

Nah, on second thought, I'd come across too formal.

Dry humor, anyone?

[fred110]

Note that Thai men - whilst they may speak quietly and tonally - do not speak in a falsetto squeak -

You have not been to Pattaya then???

[Guest ka1234]

Sauron,

Why do I get the impression that you are just trying to provoke whenever you post a message?

Anyway, it is not easy to learn to speak a tonal language if you are an adult. For children it is easier to learn but when you pass a certain age (I guess it is individual but I would put it somewhere in the early 20s) the language learning skills just drop into a ravine. Be happy that people at least try, even it if sounds ridiculous.

In my case, because of ridicule from Thais, I avoid speaking Thai when I am around Thais who can speak English. I would prefer it to be the other way around but Thais seem to expect perfect pronounciation of their language or otherwise they don't understand (at least try to imagine that the guy was trying to say a similar word with a different tone) or laugh at the person trying to speak.

I understand 99% of what people say but some Thais either have or pretend to have a hard time understanding what I say....

[NedKelly]

What sort of 'men' have you been hanging around Sauron. All the guys I know who speak Thai, speak with their normal accents/voices and dont go flittering around tryingto sing their language like some northen Thai 'mae kha' or wearing flowing skirts like your men friends obviously do. Maybe you are still living inthe world of elves and hobbits !!

Words to a song, come to mind....."oh lord it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way......."

Everyone.......Thai included should be happy that someone actually attempts to speak Thai language.

[sbk]

I got lucky when I moved to Thailand, my husband's 4 year old nephew lived next door and listening to him learn to speak Thai did wonders for my own. Of course, I sometimes used inappropriate 'kid' words but boy are my tones great! Listening to him speaking the tones was the best teacher I could have had. I must point out that I use a different 'voice' when I speak Thai, as it is a tonal language you cannot speak it as you speak english so I find it easier to just have a 'Thai' voice. At first I felt like a fool using this weird voice but after a while it felt natural. I never have any difficulty in getting people to understand my Thai pronunciation with this method. And no, its not a falsetto, bit more of a nasal shriek! I do live in the South after all

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

Well done to all of you who are mastering the tones.

What Farangs have I been hanging round who i've noticed speaking in the squeaky, wiffty, wuffty way?

That's a darn good question!

Its not the locally-based expats, its tourists with whom i'm acquainted whose language interest is only to speak to bargirls. If that's the only people they practice with, then they must start to unconsciously imitate them.

[maerim]

Eye of Sauron,ever thought about changing your user name to God?

Then we could all do your bidding , well not me as I regard the 10 commandments more like the 10 recommendations.

[Khutan]

Mind you it is amusing to hear someone with a strong accent like Australian or Northern England or even Kiwi start talking polite and tonal Thai. Sometimes wonder how the words come out.

For Me I have tried and tried. Now my wife speaks english very well, but she is a shocking translator. You ask her to say something to someone and she just says "No" half the time - "thats not polite".

[samran]

Mind you it is amusing to hear someone with a strong accent like Australian or Northern England or even Kiwi start talking polite and tonal Thai. Sometimes wonder how the words come out.

My "normal" Thai voice is half an octave (or what ever you call it) higher. That way I can hit the low tones when need be.

I have been told that I sound a bit katoey-ish, but it gets the sounds out in a comprehensible manner.

As for someone not saying "krup" because of sounding too formal, I don't think there is such a thing as being too formal in Thai. Maybe I am being a bit snobbish, outside immediate family and very close friends, it always goes down well, and ensures polite and helpful responses from people. And when addressing elders or anyone else important, it helps gain their respect and trust. My cousin accuses me of being "baak waan", but it works.

Translation is also hard work. People ask me to translate all the time, and it is just too hard and is a total different kettle of fish. The best way I have found to describe how difficult translating can be is to get someone to take a paragraph in English, and instantly re-write it in English using different words so it has the same meaning.

[maerim]

re-write it in English using different words so it has the same meaning.

You mean a bit like Saurans, Krahp but use crap instead?

Excellent idea I wish I had thought of that.

[NedKelly]

yeah...I sound a bit like corocile dundee trying to speak Thai.....!!

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

This all sounds satisfactory.

Keep those voices at a common-sense pitch. You can still hit the high tones.

(If you've got the movie 'Anna and the King' listen to the rugged, manly speech patterns of the 'Kralahome' - & emulate that)

Also, don't forget to say 'Khun' before names. I know its basic stuff, but its easily overlooked.

Most important! ...Its impossible to say a baritone 'KHRAP' without sounding like a Man (and not a Maerim). So give it a try, guys.

[maerim]

you've got the movie 'Anna and the King'

Sauron (aka God)

As you are such an expert on Thailand you will know that the movie is banned here.

Both versions.

[markt]

In my case, because of ridicule from Thais, I avoid speaking Thai when I am around Thais who can speak English. I would prefer it to be the other way around but Thais seem to expect perfect pronounciation of their language or otherwise they don't understand

It's not just me then. Phew! lol.

[KevinN]

Ka1234, I am kinda like you in the respect that I will not even try to speak Thai,I am a little to old to learn it and it is easier to just use english with a keyword once in awhile to keep things going in the right direction and I do understand most of it.

When I was young I learned fairly good Viet Nam,Spanish/mexican,and Arabic, fairly easy,but now I am to ###### old to learn anymore ,and just sound silly when I try.

I know an American that does the same as I and he knows a lot of Thai words,and I also know a fellow from OZ that likes to speak Thai at every opportunity and he and I were in a food shop awhile back that is run by a friend of my wife,and her and I were in there a few days after the Ozzie and I were there and the lady was talking to my wife about the funny falang that came in there with me and didn't speak very good Thai, so for myself,I would rather just muddle along in English and let them think I was stupid than try to speak Thai wrong and confirm their suspicions.

[randyksf]

Kevin first of al you are never to old to start speaking anything. You sound like you know a heck of a lot more than you let on. You brought up and interesting topic Key words. It really is amazing how just knowing a key word can keep things going.

I like to use this rule of thumb, If their English is good let them use it. They want to, like we want to speak it. They love it if you speak English and ask them a Thai word or two. Great for vocabulary. People want simple conversation a Thai who speaks little English will always be happy. A Thai who speaks great English will be annoyed if you don't speak Thai as good or better than their English.

To the rest, give ideas, hints tricks but don't tells us what ovtive to speak in. If you sound like a guitoy whats the worst that can happen.

[Guest ka1234]

One 'funny' side effect of using English instead of Thai whenever possible is that people assume you're just another stinking tourist. It has happened on more than one occasion that Thais start gossiping about me right in front of me. One time when I was buing a not very cheap piece of jewelry in Emporium, the sales clerks started gossiping about me in a not very nice way. When asked to write my name and address on the receipt (for warranty), I filled out the form in Thai. They suddenly went very silent.

[sbk]

Good one ka

However, sometimes you can also overhear nice things about yourself. One time I was sitting in a songtaew and two Thai ladies looked at me and said in Thai, "oh look at this pretty farang girl, doesn't she have such beautiful skin"

Made my day!

Funny, I rarely encounter attitude from Thai people when I speak thai, most people I have met are just thrilled that you can at least try, since most Thais think their language is impossible for farang to learn.

[KevinN]

So true, but I have heard more Thais capping on how stupid a farang is for speaking with the wrong sounds than not. so I find it better to just speak English and i do a lot of things here that seem impossible for my wife, like getting special things,a Thai will not even think of ordering for you if they do not stock what you are looking for,You always get the "no havo Thailand" reply,but I always seem to get them to try and usually end up with what i want.

I have worked in 27 country's and have never seen one where they will downgrade or talk about you for trying to speak their language,most seem to appreciate you trying,but in Thailand they always talk down about you for your Thai speak.so I just act the falang.

[samran]

Kev,

Don't take Thai criticism the wrong way. In this case it is the Farangs sensibility being hurt, where in fact the Thai person means nothing at all. They don't actually construe their comment as criticism.

From a Farang perspective, Thais have a funny approach to these things. A Thai will happily tell someone that they are fat to their face, or that they have gotten fatter since the saw them last. These comments cause no problems amongst Thai themselves. Comments about language will fall into the same category...no offence intended.

Remember, Thai people very rarely criticise to someone’s face in fear of making them lose face (at least on topics which they consider are taboo). But for some reason comments on topics such as weight and language ability aren't considered criticism.

For the farang it is the other way around. We feel free to offer constructive criticism, something a Thai will rarely do, but will not comment on someone’s weight to their face.

[sbk]

Agreed samran, usually people correct my pronunciation which I prefer to take in a constructive way rather than as a criticism. I prefer to see it as the person is helping me with my Thai rather than that they are telling me I am an idiot!

Guess it all depends on how thin-skinned you are. Every time I go home to visit the family I come back to "Oh, you are so fat" which, when I look at it, means I have gained some weight, rather than I am a big fat pig. Try to look on things as just commentary, rather than criticism.

Reminds me of a friend of mine who has terrible trouble with his mother and her 'comments' which sound innocuous to me but are implied criticisms to him. I told him, "Don't read anything into what she says and then you won't hear the criticisms". It really does depend on how you choose to take it.

[markt]

I was told by my teacher that Thais will laugh at some of my tones, but not to take it as criticism as they are impressed by you taking the time to learn.

The worst thing is tripping over in pubic while talking Thai.

Now that is funny.

[chonabot]

The worst thing is tripping over in "pubic" while talking Thai.

A hairy moment eh?

[markt]

Man, they love it! Arse over tit. Wallop!

Farang ngum ngarm

[chonabot]

I actually went arse over tit last year in Patts , the bar complex next to the massive Grand Sole Hotel 2nd road , opposite the Tropicana, on the way back from the hong narm , I took a shortcut , pissed as a Maokhaang, climbed over the rope surround, seemed ok , then I landed on me back , in a big pile of wet concrete. Wife was not proud to be with me.......apart from that it was a good night , for the spectators...

[markt]

pissed as a Maokhaang, climbed over the rope surround, seemed ok , then I landed on me back , in a big pile of wet concrete. Wife was not proud to be with me.......apart from that it was a good night , for the spectators...

I'm sure Maokhaang could better that Charng-fueled escapade.

[chonabot]

Lee "the Bone" , would have executed a perfect triple salcoe before setting up 12 forums in each bar , but not about bar girls , oh no......

[dr_Pat_Pong]

My God Chon....do you take a drink ?

[chonabot]

Soz Doc , I'm actually sober right now , doing a Night shift at Vodafone Newbury, IT Incident support. It don't get much better than this!