A Confused English Guy With A Thai Girlfriend

[kenny999]

2. End the relationship if you don't think you can handle separating this "relationship" from being a legitimate one. And in the future don't get into these types of relationships... you can always find an *actually* nice/cute/lovable Thai girl that is not working in the sex industry.

Unlikely that a tourist could find a Thai girl not working in the sex industry.

Most of the expats living here can't manage to do that.

Some foreigners working here have 'allegedly' managed to find such girls.

What exactly is wrong with those types of relationships? you give them money, they give you fantasy relationship sex, it works for me.

I live here and my gf has never worked in the sex industry she is a decent honest girl with a lovely 9 yr old daughter, my mate also is with a very nice decent girl so yes it is possible to find such girls!!

It does not matter who you are with, Bar girl, good girl it will cost you some thing, how much depends on you!!!

Edited November 2, 2011 by kenny999

[drnkurmlkshk]

What exactly is wrong with those types of relationships? you give them money, they give you fantasy relationship sex, it works for me.

I don't see anything wrong with these relationships. It is just that some (really a lot) of guys can cannot separate these relationships from a normal one. Sending her 10k THB every few months - no big deal. Giving into her increased demands and buying her a car on the premise that it is "for the future" or other similar nonsense? Suddenly this is screwing over the guy's long term finances. The same thing with having her for a visit in his home country for a while - and paying her for that time. Again, no big deal, really. But asking her to marry him? That's a seriously damaging proposition. Visiting once or twice a year to see her is awesome and I'm sure plenty of guys have an awesome time of it. But giving up his job and finding work in Thailand so he can be closer to her? That is a scary thought.

The big thing here is that a lot of guys actually make these big mistakes. This isn't really hyperbole at all here - some guys just cannot resist this kind of thing. And if you're a guy that finds himself wanting to just ignore all of the rational advice being given then perhaps it is better to avoid these situations in the first place. This is why the rule gets thrown around, "Never see the same bar girl two nights in a row... and certainly not more than that." Yeah it works out well for a lot of guys... but a lot of other guys really lose sight of the bigger picture. Given how illogical OP's entire post was I'd contend that he is one of those very high risk guys...

[ludditeman]

I live here and my gf has never worked in the sex industry she is a decent honest girl with a lovely 9 yr old daughter, my mate also is with a very nice decent girl so yes it is possible to find such girls!!

I'm not sure my definition of "decent honest girl" includes unmarried mothers.

Just call me old-fashioned.

But hey, whatever works for you.

Edited November 2, 2011 by ludditeman

[kenny999]

I live here and my gf has never worked in the sex industry she is a decent honest girl with a lovely 9 yr old daughter, my mate also is with a very nice decent girl so yes it is possible to find such girls!!

I'm not sure my definition of "decent honest girl" includes unmarried mothers.

Just call me old-fashioned.

But hey, whatever works for you.

A lot of unmarried mothers are just that because their Thai bf's or husbands have deserted them so yes honest and decent does apply to a lot of ummarried mothers!! the girls that get pregnant after sleeping with a man for money might be considered other wise!!

[ludditeman]

lot of unmarried mothers are just that because their Thai bf's or husbands have deserted them so yes honest and decent does apply to a lot of ummarried mothers!! the girls that get pregnant after sleeping with a man for money might be considered other wise!!

I was really under the impression that 'decent' women got married before having sex.

But like I said, call me old-fashioned.

[kenny999]

lot of unmarried mothers are just that because their Thai bf's or husbands have deserted them so yes honest and decent does apply to a lot of ummarried mothers!! the girls that get pregnant after sleeping with a man for money might be considered other wise!!

I was really under the impression that 'decent' women got married before having sex.

But like I said, call me old-fashioned.

Wow you are 1 in a million or maybe you are a priest, how many women do you know that got married before having sex???

[ludditeman]

Wow you are 1 in a million or maybe you are a priest, how many women do you know that got married before having sex???

I know many.

I would not use the words 'decent' or 'respectable' in statements to describe them (OK so I am Mr. pedantic) when they have obviously reproduced out of wedlock. These words reflect upon morality and in most societies, morality dictates marriage before sex (or at least marriage before reproduction). On second thoughts I don't usually use words that indicate moral judgments all that much, but that doesn't mean I am ignorant of their meanings.

I also have a nice honest girlfriend with a daughter.

Did she work in the sex industry before I met her? who cares, and more importantly who could ever REALLY know, as long as she doesn't work in the sex industry after I marry her.

Bummer, maybe I shouldn't have called her 'honest', let's change my description to 'nice affectionate girl' which is something I can truly know, and won't label me as just another gullible twonk.

Edited November 2, 2011 by ludditeman

[kenny999]

Wow you are 1 in a million or maybe you are a priest, how many women do you know that got married before having sex???

I know many.

I would not use the words 'decent' or 'respectable' in statements to describe them (OK so I am Mr. pedantic) when they have obviously reproduced out of wedlock. These words reflect upon morality and in most societies, morality dictates marriage before sex (or at least marriage before reproduction). On second thoughts I don't usually use words that indicate moral judgments all that much, but that doesn't mean I am ignorant of their meanings.

So you are saying that women who remain a virgin until after they are married are decent and respectful? I wonder how many of the worlds top women fall into this category, I am thinking most of the worlds famous women are not decent or honest, we are all in big trouble!!!

I also have a nice honest girlfriend with a daughter.

Did she work in the sex industry before I met her? who cares, and who could ever really know, as long as she doesn't work in the sex industry after I marry her.

Bummer, maybe I shouldn't have called her 'honest', let's change my description to 'nice affectionate girl' which is something I can truly know, and won't make me just another gullible white guy.

[kenny999]

Wow you are 1 in a million or maybe you are a priest, how many women do you know that got married before having sex???

I know many.

I would not use the words 'decent' or 'respectable' in statements to describe them (OK so I am Mr. pedantic) when they have obviously reproduced out of wedlock. These words reflect upon morality and in most societies, morality dictates marriage before sex (or at least marriage before reproduction). On second thoughts I don't usually use words that indicate moral judgments all that much, but that doesn't mean I am ignorant of their meanings.

I also have a nice honest girlfriend with a daughter.

Did she work in the sex industry before I met her? who cares, and more importantly who could ever REALLY know, as long as she doesn't work in the sex industry after I marry her.

Bummer, maybe I shouldn't have called her 'honest', let's change my description to 'nice affectionate girl' which is something I can truly know, and won't label me as just another gullible twonk.

Yes I agree with that and I think at some point you have been a gullible twonk a long with the rest of us!!!!!

[veryruay]

I second that. Some are very naive, they thought they are so appealing, they even make this gals fall in love with them for the first sight. Let me tell the truth, it's an old version....in Thailand , NO MONEY~NO HONEY. As simple as that! 1real story.......

- Have a very good friend in Chiang Rai, she is 26 and ending up marrying a Farang age 54. What's the reasons, I need to guess and after a few months living with her husband, here the show start. The old man starting not to pay rental and electric bills for her family, stopped giving allowances like what he did before the marriage and the ending is.............. they separate! After the incident, we have a talk one day. She revealed WHY and the answer is, I married him because I need someone to "take care" of my aged parents, I don't have any Love for him, he stopped paying, I stopped have sex with him, it's a deal!!!!! And now she is happily married to a Thai man, not very rich, but she love him truly!

So common guys, WAKE up!! Thai ladies will not fall in love with you without your $$$$$$$$$$$$

No talk of money etc. She stays with me the whole holiday, every day, every night.(10 days) she eats every day with me nd the lads, She comes on every trip. I did give her some money on 2nd day as I felt a bit guilty, surly she should be going to work somewhere? I wanted her to stay with me so only fair I pay her same as a days wages?

Think about how illogical this entire thing is. Would you *pay* a girl to date you back in your home country? Many guys will pay for the outings. But a direct payment? So obviously the "no talk of money" think is basically just BS. You don't get to giving a girl money for her time when you initially *didn't* think she was a hooker. Stop tricking yourself about what this is. If there was *actually* no money, and she didn't ask for any money, and it had been 10 days then maybe you could start to assume that she is not working you. You'd still probably be wrong in this case and she would likely have just been playing the long game, but at least then you'd maybe have a legitimate girl interested in you. I mean I stopped reading your post after I got this far just to confirm it for you: this girl is working you for money. Period.

You later confirm that I was right when you say you shipped her 10,000 baht (which is like 2 months wages - a lot of money - for an uneducated poor Thai girl). Just for arguments sake, in case you aren't convinced yet, a bus ticket each way might run her ~400 baht. So if a trip home costs her maybe 1,000 baht in travel expenses... why does she need way more than that? And all of this is moot because of the logic in the above paragraph which confirms that she is a working girl.

It is truly crazy how easily manipulated some of the guys that come to visit Thailand. My best advice to you is to either:

1. Know that you're in a paid for relationship and enjoy the farce that goes on with that. This is actually a legitimate and not even very expensive option. Hell, this could even include bringing her back to see your home for a while. But you need to keep your head on straight and realize that this girl is *NOT* serious long term relationship material. This is, in fact, the type of girl that can destroy a guy's life.

2. End the relationship if you don't think you can handle separating this "relationship" from being a legitimate one. And in the future don't get into these types of relationships... you can always find an *actually* nice/cute/lovable Thai girl that is not working in the sex industry.

[seekingfriends]

these guys are giving you good advice. would you marry the town bike back in the uk . i dont think so . every guy who goes on his first trip to thailand or bali . falls in love .its a fact. its like sunburn you will get over her, till your next trip . and it all starts agin . that was cheap 10.000 for 10 days. james

[Berkshire]

every guy who goes on his first trip to thailand or bali . falls in love .

Every guy? I'd say mostly those guys who hadn't gotten laid in awhile. But then, that may make up a pretty sizable number, considering all the guys that do come over and fall in love with some skank....eh, I mean, girl they'd just met.

[ludditeman]

these guys are giving you good advice. would you marry the town bike back in the uk .

It depends how often you get to ride it.

A lot of guys marry someone who only gives a couple of rides a year.

[seekingfriends]

these guys are giving you good advice. would you marry the town bike back in the uk .

It depends how often you get to ride it.

A lot of guys marry someone who only gives a couple of rides a year.

i have mates in sydney .and every time they went to bali or thailand it was a new girl they fell in love with . true james

[welsh1]

God give us a Dick and a brain, but not enough blood to use the two at the same time

[stardancer]

@david48

Quote: You have not experienced anything until you have had the 'Thai sulk' ... lasting anywhere between 3 hours and 3 days (legend has it that it can go on for a week or more).

NOTE:- 'Thai Sulk' ... not to be confused with 'Thai Silk' ... both very delicate things ... just handled differently!

So this thai sulk thing is wide spread? It drives nuts. It must happen 3-4 times a month. I thought it happens more in my marrage because my wife is such a princes . Do they ever grow out of it?

Edited November 15, 2011 by stardancer

[ludditeman]

Very easy to deal with.

First sign of a sulk, out you go somewhere nice, on your own or with other friends.

When you get back tell her what fun you had, repeat until lady learns lesson (usually in a very short time)

[rgs2001uk]

Very easy to deal with.

First sign of a sulk, out you go somewhere nice, on your own or with other friends.

When you get back tell her what fun you had, repeat until lady learns lesson (usually in a very short time)

Quote, "Very easy to deal with."

Oh so true, I walked out the door and never went back.

I watched as some sap had to endure a 30 minute ear bashing from his teerak, I asked him if he would put up with that shit in his home country, he said no.

I asked him well why have you flown half way round the world to put up with it here? Deer in headlight look.

I love it when these girls phone and the phone is on the table and the boyfriend has gone for a piss, what do you want ( ao arai)?, your boyfriend has gone for a good time, faen ma tiaw, no need to think to mutt, kit mak mai dee.

Why some guys put up with this shit is beyond me, I dont see Thai guys putting up with it, can someone please explain.

[MaiChai]

There are always soooo many answers to these questions.

Most of us have had experiences similar to the OP. Whats the best advice? Enjoy it and don't take it seriously? The Westerner always seems obliged to get into a long term relationship and take it further. The only thing for sure is that it will cost you alot of money.

Whats my advice? Enjoy, don't take it too seriously, and don't marry anyone until you have known them for a long time. She may try and force your hand by getting pregnant; a common ploy to get into a better life?

Crosses my mind that you could aviod the mistake most of us have made and abandon the girl and move on?

What job does she have? Well very few people choose to be a prostitute; I would say she doesn't see herself this way. She is just an opportunist. She is living off you while you are there. When you go home she will move onto the next guy and do the same again. Whats her long term aim? To find a guy to support her and improve her and her families position in life. She is on holiday-hee.

Edited November 15, 2011 by MaiChai

[lyne55]

There are always soooo many answers to these questions.

Most of us have had experiences similar to the OP. Whats the best advice? Enjoy it and don't take it seriously? The Westerner always seems obliged to get into a long term relationship and take it further. The only thing for sure is that it will cost you alot of money.

Whats my advice? Enjoy, don't take it too seriously, and don't marry anyone until you have known them for a long time. She may try and force your hand by getting pregnant; a common ploy to get into a better life?

Crosses my mind that you could aviod the mistake most of us have made and abandon the girl and move on?

What job does she have? Well very few people choose to be a prostitute; I would say she doesn't see herself this way. She is just an opportunist. She is living off you while you are there. When you go home she will move onto the next guy and do the same again. Whats her long term aim? To find a guy to support her and improve her and her families position in life. She is on holiday-hee.

Hmm, I agree with some things. She knows Im never gunna be that guy who sends her money. Ive made that very clear. VERY CLEAR. If she wants to carry on with her job, no problem. fill ya boots. Im not out to change no one. She proberly has got other people sending her money, other people who see her. Just as long as I dont take things to seriously then all will be fine :jap: the old boys know best so Ile take there advise.

[Scottythai]

10 days! Thats not very long sir. You have yet to scratch where you fit in to her rank of things I would bet looked something like this -

1. Her
2. Her face (huge issue always)
3. Her daughter
4. Family
5. Thai BF (even if it is an ex)
6. Her mobile phone
7. Friends she will call sister
8. You

So if you don't mind being so far down the list then hey all the power to ya. But remember there are limits on everything.

[rideswings]

10 days! Thats not very long sir. You have yet to scratch where you fit in to her rank of things I would bet looked something like this -

1. Her
2. Her face (huge issue always)
3. Her daughter
4. Family
5. Thai BF (even if it is an ex)
6. Her mobile phone
7. Friends she will call sister
8. You

So if you don't mind being so far down the list then hey all the power to ya. But remember there are limits on everything.

If I might make a small modification to the above post:

8. Water buffalo

9. Motorbike

10. You

[smokie36]

OP...I've seen this work on Samui but....have you had your first real argument yet?

[loveulongtime]

others lose every thing!! just be careful keep a clear head and don't think all Thai girls are bad they are only doing what they must, it's up to us to say NO!!!

Dont wear your heart on your sleeve... The moment your gone they are jumping on another guys cock anyway... and like another guy said before would you fall in love with a pro or call girl back home ? of course not.

I lived on Samui for 6 months, I work in IT and make decent money... found this beauty in the bar in pattaya and decided to ship her down to samui to live with me for a bit... cute in bed.

I let her play her game, some guy from england was sms'ing / calling her whilst she stayed with me... he was under the impression she was working in 7/11... After a few weeks I got sick of it so I decided to get the guys number from her phone, then I sent him a message to let him know he was being played. He called me and thanked me... and I shipped her back to pattaya where she belongs.

Most good looking girls from the bars are bitches when you really get to know them... and if you impede in their lives too much you will have some thai guy after you soon enough... been there done that.

The final straw for me with this chick was when I was shagging her, her phone received and SMS and she decided to read it whilst I was giving her one!!! classic heartless be-arch... I few blokes I have spoken to have had this one occur to them...

You can never trust them.

[lyne55]

Yeah had some arguements with her allright. Mostly because her friends bitch to her that I dont send her money and I dont love her or I would send money. I just tell em if she want money sent best she get an old man boyfriend, like them. She could then have all the computers, clothes and drinks she likes. To be fair to my little one she does stand up for herself against her friends. Oh and she does get extreamly jelous when I even talk to another girl, but we sorted that one out and now she doesnt even bat an eyelid. I have learnt 1 thing about thai ladies in my very small experiance, Man are they firey!! I like it. She get upset at the smallist things sometimes. Most of the arguements are between her and her friends/pimp mum and how she doesnt give me a hard time about money. Dont mind helping her out when im there but heeeellll no I aint sending no money to "keep" a girl whilst i work my ass of in cold old england. I tell em ile sit around on a beach all day, go bang bang with farang. They go back to england, work and send me money. They allways shut up after that one. Not a very nice thing to say, I know, but at least that shut em up for a week or so untill the friends/pimp mum start getting lippy again. I play the fool with em, you know, play there game. That hooker game can work both ways if you want it to.

Hell, I like my girl over there, Id even say I love her (really) but I have a lot to learn and I wont be doing anything serious untill i get my degree in thai ladies

[loveulongtime]

Get my degree in thai ladies

I have been travelling thaiand since I was 21 years old, I am now 35.... And I still dont have a degree in Thai Ladies....

Honestly I have had a few thai girls, You can figure them out pretty quickly if they want a long term relationship or not,..forget about the one's in the bars and disco's, anything under 25 years is trouble. They dont want a visa and they dont want to leave thailand, so unless you are planning to live in thailand on a fulltime basis you are better off being a butterfly yourself, spinning shit to them as much as they spin to you.

Read the books: Money Number 1 or Private Dancer... they will enlighten you to how bar girls work.

Having said all that not all thai ladies are bar girls / hookers, and during my time in thailand I have met several normal working girls who would be good to court in a relationship, if thats what your after!

Sending money to a girl is fine so long as you can afford it, and when you arrive in thailand she looks after you and knows how to F*&k your brains out. At least thats what I think.

[lyne55]

Get my degree in thai ladies

I have been travelling thaiand since I was 21 years old, I am now 35.... And I still dont have a degree in Thai Ladies....

Honestly I have had a few thai girls, You can figure them out pretty quickly if they want a long term relationship or not,..forget about the one's in the bars and disco's, anything under 25 years is trouble. They dont want a visa and they dont want to leave thailand, so unless you are planning to live in thailand on a fulltime basis you are better off being a butterfly yourself, spinning shit to them as much as they spin to you.

Read the books: Money Number 1 or Private Dancer... they will enlighten you to how bar girls work.

Having said all that not all thai ladies are bar girls / hookers, and during my time in thailand I have met several normal working girls who would be good to court in a relationship, if thats what your after!

Sending money to a girl is fine so long as you can afford it, and when you arrive in thailand she looks after you and knows how to F*&k your brains out. At least thats what I think.

Another guy suggested same book. Im at page 68 on private dancer and had it what, 2 days so im trying to learn things fast as i can! Na, i wouldnt feel comftable sending anyone money just so i could have sex. get that in england every weekend if you want it. just go down deniro's in newmarket. And there plenty of thai ladies there too. got there green card, left the sponsor etc etc. I just like thai/ asian girls nature they have.

[johnbits]

Here we go again.

I am from the been here a long time/cynics camp.

I can't advise you as to what you should, or shouldn't, do. Just some obseravations and things you may want to consider:

1. You are a first timer or a newbie. This is what happens to first timers or newbies. It's all rather an exotic and overwhelming experience. Once you've been here (the LOS) a few times it won't be so exotic and overwhelming.

2. Would you marry a prostitute back where you come from?

3. You're only 27, what's the rush to tie the knot? Stay single for a few more years and enjoy yourself in the LOS.

4. The only reason to enter into a long term relationship/marriage with any woman is to have kids. Are you ready for that? Because if you bring her over to the U.K., that's exactly what's going to happen.

5. Are you ready to provide financial assistence to the extended family you'll get with the girl?

6. Are you ready to pay a fee (sin sod) for marrying the girl?

7. Taking a young, poorly educated Thai girl with minimal life/work skills out of Thailand is never a good idea.

I wouldn't even have sex with a prostitute from the USA.

[johnbits]

2. End the relationship if you don't think you can handle separating this "relationship" from being a legitimate one. And in the future don't get into these types of relationships... you can always find an *actually* nice/cute/lovable Thai girl that is not working in the sex industry.

Unlikely that a tourist could find a Thai girl not working in the sex industry.

Most of the expats living here can't manage to do that.

Some foreigners working here have 'allegedly' managed to find such girls.

What exactly is wrong with those types of relationships? you give them money, they give you fantasy relationship sex, it works for me.

That is dumb, it is easy to meet a girl in Thailand not working in the sex industry. If I can do it as a tourist, you would have do be an ugly dwarf with no money and bad breath to not be able to find a regular thai girl if you wanted to.

Edited December 20, 2011 by johnbits

[WebBangkok]

Yes yellow fever can be a real pain the the ass

Man its hard for us to tell you what to do, just do what you would do if she was an English girl back home, dont let the yellow fever take over. Its hard to fight but its possible.